Former Prime Mentalist Almost Keeps Anger At Bay

Gordon Brown tried his very hardest not to flip out in a room full of journalists as he gave the Press Gallery lunch earlier, but he managed just 3 minutes before having a crack at the Sun. He saved his true venom for Sam Coates of the Times though, who has had the impenitence to question Brown’s financial arrangements since he left office. Asked if he wished he had stood down at the last election, Brown replied “when I hear you, sometimes I do.” The fake smile failed to mask the snarl.

As questions mounted about standing down and how little time he had spent in Westminster, McMental quipped: “it’s lovely to see you but I have no desire to be part of frontline politics.” Clearly, given his Commons attendance. 

Gordon Curses England’s World Cup Hopes

Speaking to journalists at today’s Press Gallery lunch, the Prime Mentalist has put paid to any faint hopes that England have in Brazil, hardly helping the Better Together campaign either:

“I will support England in World Cup.”

You might as well fly home now boys.

Despite this devastating turn of events, Eric Pickles is refusing to give up hope. The Three Lions flag will fly from the top of DCLG on Thursday, for the first day of the World Cup. “We chipped in to buy the flag at no expense to the taxpayer,” they assure Guido. Pickles hopes to recover some luck for England – his namesake Pickles the dog recovered the stolen World Cup trophy in 1966.

Brown UKIP Attack Attempts to Rewrite History

Unionists can pack up and go home: the Prime Mentalist has surfaced up in Scotland to launch Labour’s anti-independence campaign. McMental reckons he has worked out how to win round freedom fighters north of the border, laying into the party that has just won its first MEP in the country. Gordon told United With Labour this morning:

“I detest the politics of UKIP.”

That would be the same Gordon Brown who famously promised “British jobs for British workers”, a slogan deemed too politically incorrect for UKIP to copy. The same Gordon Brown who adopted the BNP’s “Gulags for slags” policy at Labour’s 2009 party conference.

He used to get up to far worse than what he is claiming to detest today…

Like Brown, Ed Picks His Nose on Camera

The Son of Brown has picked up another excellent tip from his political patriarch – having a good dig up his nose in public. Though in a sign of how much progress Labour has made since the last election, at least Ed attempted to mask his nasal mining with a tissue.

The bad news is he still went for it in front of the TV cameras. Having blown his nose, he returns for a good explore. Whatever happened to the party’s hunt for a new broadcasting expert?

End of the Jonah Jinx?

Has the curse of Jonah finally been broken?

Gordon Brown was present yesterday when his beloved Raith Rovers beat Rangers 1:0 to win the Ramdens Cup.

He even cracked a smile…

Gordon has always taken a keen interest in Raith Rovers, going as far as to negotiate the sale of players in a pub car back while he was the Chancellor. According to Damian McBride:

What spare time Gordon had up in Scotland he poured into not just supporting his beloved Raith Rovers, but pulling strings behind the scenes at the club, sometimes becoming a bit too involved. I rang him in October 2006 and said I’d had a call from a Scottish journalist who’d heard the bizarre rumour that Gordon was seen in a pub car park in Kirkcaldy after midnight apparently negotiating contract terms with Trinidad international Marvin Andrews. Gordon was silent, then said: ‘Have they got photos?’

Finally the long curse that has blighted sports teams, markets, aeroplanes, banks, companies, governments and nations looks to be lifted. If the curse of the one-eyed son of the manse has been lifted, we hope Gordon’s tormented soul will lighten too…

Gordon in Commons, But Not for Constituents

The last piece of business in the House before half term tomorrow will be an Adjournment Debate by the member for Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath. Dropping in for a rare ten minute speech, you might have thought the former Prime Mentalist would be standing up for his oft abandoned constituents, who don’t see very much of their wayward MP. Nope.

Gordon will be speaking in the Commons about educating Syrian refugees which, while a noble cause, is a little convenient given that he is currently fundraising under that banner. When he’s not globe-trotting as UN Envoy for Education (which essentially consists of having his photo taken with Malala a lot) Gordon is coining it on the speech circuit. His rare appearances in Parliament should be to represent the interests of his constituents rather than to wangle money out of the British government for his latest pet project. Using Parliament as a begging bowl is beneath even him.

EXC: Gordon Brown Office Has £10,000-a-Week “Expenses” Raises Over £3 Million, Gives Less Than £1 Million to Charity

  • Office of Gordon and Sarah Brown has £10,000-a-week expenses
  • Not a registered charity, two thirds of funds raised spent on expenses
  • Less than  £1 million given to charity out of over £3 million raised
  • Vanity project lets  Gordon and Sarah enjoy jet-set premier life-style of first class flights and five star hotels

Gordon Brown has since leaving Downing Street raised over £3 million to support charitable projects yet has given less than a £1 million to charity. Nearly three-quarters of the money raised has gone on his office and globe-trotting travel expenses that run at over £10,000-a-week – allowing Brown to vainly swan around in Davos like old times. Gordon Brown always insists that he does not profit from the arrangement and that all the income goes either directly to charities or to support other charitable public service projects.

The Office of Gordon and Sarah Brown is not a registered charity, it is a private limited company. Guido’s investigation reveals – by piecing together some 133 declarations made in Gordon Brown’s parliamentary register of interests – a picture of the until now private accounts since the company was set up by Sarah. Brown has declared to parliament that the total amount paid to the company since 2010 is £3,605,197. According to a recent announcement on the company’s website, only £912,702 has so far been given to charity after three years. Leaving over £2 million to be accounted for when according to the latest available records the company had only £160,978 in cash at the bank. You can see an itemised spreadsheet compiled from Guido’s investigations here.

The company admits it budgets £550,000-a-year for expenses to meet salaries, accommodation costs and staff expenses. Gordon can be paid as much as $100,000 for a single speech in America to investors at finance conferences. By funnelling his speaker fees through the company he does not have to pay tax on the income, even though it covers the £10,000-a-week expenses for Gordon and Sarah to maintain the jet-set premier lifestyle they were accustomed to when in Downing Street, travelling first class around the world and staying in top five star hotels attended to by flunkies. Something Gordon would not be able to do on his backbench MP’s salary…

Gordon Plotting By-Election With BallsShadow Chancellor Lovebombs Clegg, Who Hates Him

Leaving aside the naked positioning and re-writing of history by Ed Balls in his New Statesman interview, there was one line that the fearless interviewer did not pick up on. When asked when the Shadow Chancellor last spoke to his political father Gordon Brown, Balls replied: “he actually emailed me today about a by-election coming up in the next couple of weeks”. Well we are certainly overdue one in Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath…

The other line that made Guido chuckle was Balls’ claim:

“I can disagree with Nick Clegg on some of the things he did but I’ve no reason to doubt his integrity, we’ve never, I don’t think, ever had a cross word.”

Which will come as news to the Deputy Prime Minister, who said over Christmas:

“I always try to keep a good sense of humour, and if I have an argument with someone to keep the argument about what the argument is about and not allow it too often to become sort of personal. I make one exception, for a man named Ed Balls. But other than that I try not to make it about insults and stuff.”

Well we can forgive him that…

McMental: I Saved the World But No One Listened

Gordon Brown has taken the time to represent the people of Kirkcaldy in the pages of the New York Times. Like a drunk shouting on a park bench about the apocalypse, Gordon’s new line is that he saved the world but nobody was listening:

“In early October 2008, three weeks after the Lehman Brothers collapse, I met in Paris with leaders of the countries in the euro zone.

[…]

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Oh Dear Sarah

That curse must be contagious… 

Via everyone.
[…]

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Quote of the Day

Gordon Brown pretends:

“I learnt courage from Nelson Mandela.”[…]

+ READ MORE +

Labour's Sri Lanka Amnesia

Shadow Foreign Secretary Douglas Alexander says it was a ‘lack of judgement’, and Ed has written in the Tamil Guardian complaining that Cameron will not boycott this week’s Commonwealth summit in Sri Lanka, over the country’s human rights record after two decades of civil war. […]

+ READ MORE +

“Ex-Politician” Gordon Paid £349,501 in One Month

No wonder the Prime Mentalist has forgotten he is still an MP. In October alone he has declared payments for outside work of £349,501, including for speeches and junkets to Shanghai, Johannesburg, Monaco and New York. As ever Gordon warns the press:

“I am not receiving any money from this role personally.

[…]

+ READ MORE +

Prime Mentalist Going Loco Down in Acapulco

Parliament has a full schedule this week, so of course Gordon is instead jetting off to a Mexican party town to address a conference on the financial crisis. He has clearly brought the Curse of Jonah with him. Just this week Acapulco has been battered by storms and heavy flooding, if that wasn’t enough CNN reports on its recent “economic devastation”.[…]

+ READ MORE +

Gordon Confronted About McBride

Gordon’s alive!

And he’s been spotted on the fringe…

…of the United Nations General Assembly:

Telling…[…]

+ READ MORE +

Jailed £19 Million Money Launderer Was Doomed

Community ‘hero’ Abid Hussain has been jailed for his part in a £19 million money laundering racket, working with crime gangs in the Middle East to smuggle drug money into the UK. It all started to go wrong for Abid (second from left next to Labour MP Fabian Hamilton, who gave him a character reference in court) after a trip to Downing Street in 2010:

He was doomed.[…]

+ READ MORE +



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