The Prime Mentalist is gracing us with his presence in the House tomorrow, having secured a debate about cleaning up radiation on a beach in his constituency. Let’s hope he puts in a little more preparation for his speech than he did for the written parliamentary questions he has been asking the Ministry of Defence recently. The replying Ministers politely pointed out that the MoD no longer owns the beach site in question and environmental issues are devolved to the Scottish government and are no longer Westminster’s concern. If he turned up a bit more, he might know these things…

The second most controversial picture of the Cardinal today.

Best wishes to the Prime Mentalist as he turns 62 today. Twelve months without speaking in Parliament, £6,000 and more on air fares at our expense, £300,000-a-month in cash that is definitely not paid to him, an attendance record to be ashamed of, landing his successor in it, not to mention the worst of omens for His Holiness.

And that’s forgetting Gordon’s Olympic nightmare and his – shall we say – awkwardness at the Leveson Inquiry. To celebrate, why not enjoy his greatest hits one more time…

The Pope is resigning, the first to do so since Gregory XII in 1415.

It was all so predictable…

Like Guido, the loveable Icelandic President Ólafur Ragnar Grímsson holds a grudge with our former Prime Mentalist. Speaking to Sky last night he went on the attack:

“The Gordon Brown government decided, to its eternal shame, to put the Icelandic government on a list of terrorist states and terrorist phenomena. We were there together with al Qaeda and the Taliban on that list. We have not forgotten that in Iceland. Gordon Brown will be long remembered in my country for centuries to come, long after he has been completely forgotten in Britain.”

Not sure Gordon will ever be “completely forgotten”…

How good it was of the Prime Mentalist to turn up yesterday. Here is one he will no doubt want to skip however: the Great Gordon Brown Repeal bill is to be debated in Parliament next week. The proposal to reverse Labour’s scrapping of the 10p tax rate will be discussed by MPs at 2:30pm next Tuesday. Guido hears Gordon will be receiving a formal invitation…

See you at Christmas…

UPDATE:

Not something you see every day http://t.co/1bokUubt—
Sean Curran (@cripeswatson) January 15, 2013

Gordon is in town as is big oil’s Al Gore, who was sighted on Air Street earlier. Which reminded Guido of one his favourite videos…

It’s well over a year now since Gordon Brown has spoken in Parliament but he has manged to put in two written questions on behalf of his constituents. The enquiries to the MOD are on the identical topic to his last batch of questions – ten months ago.

Written Answers – Defence: Dalgety Bay (17 Dec 2012)
Gordon Brown: To ask the Secretary of State for Defence what recent
assessment he has made of reports on the incidence of cancer in the
Dalgety Bay area.

So Brown’s total of contribution this year has extended to nine written questions, which on his MPs salary puts that at about £7,300 a pop. And that’s before you factor in the expenses he still has the cheek to claim…

Guido’s mole reports a flurry of Westminster activity from the former Prime Mentalist.  Not only did Gordon actually vote last night, he almost made it into the Chamber today. But not quite! He stopped short behind the Speaker’s chair.

So, Leveson aside, why is Brown in town? Guido can report that instead of representing the people of Kirkcaldy, as he is paid to do, Gordon was showing a mysterious balding gentleman around the estate.

A doorman’s conversation was overheard by one witty Member:

Doorman: Who was that then?

MP: The former Prime Minster.

DM: No, no with him.

Boom-tish.