Last week the Number 10 website was updated with a full history section about previous Prime Ministers. For balance and independence the biographies were outsourced to Queen Mary University’s Mile End Group, but their historical impartiality wasn’t enough for one person concerned about their legacy. Downing Street sources say that Gordon had a mighty strop about it, vetoed various photographs and demanded revisions as the text “was not flattering enough”. Seems remarkably generous to Guido…

Gordon Brown MP has tabled a rare written parliamentary question about a constituency issue in a belated attempt to catch up on a growing concern of his electors. The written reply doesn’t convey the full contempt…

Radioactive Waste: Dalgety Bay

Mr Gordon Brown: To ask the Secretary of State for Defence with reference to his planned visit to Fife in the week of 30 January 2012, if he will visit the sites at Dalgety Bay now under scrutiny for radiation contamination.

Mr Robathan: I am, this day, at Dalgety Bay and am visiting these sites. My office notified the right hon. Member’s office of my visit on 19 January.

Gordon tabled the question on January 26. He isn’t really paying attention is he?

As the PM sat down after a tough outing in the Commons, the news breaks that Fred Goodwin was told at 3pm that he had been stripped of his knighthood “by the Queen”. Intriguing timing.

Knighted by Gordon for banking and stripped by Dave for, er, banking.

Another day, another mob win.

(Click to Enlarge)

That’s what you get for trying to repress a legitimate argument…

Guido forgot to link to an article sent to him yesterday from the website of Fife’s Courier. When Guido went back to the piece today though, it had mysteriously disappeared:

The “Opponents accuse Gordon Brown of failing to perform duties as MP‎” headline is very clear on Google News:

Essentially the errant former Prime Mentalist has faced calls from his local council to quit due to his spectacular efforts to avoid representing his constituents. Smelling a rat Guido decided to make some calls. As far as he can piece together, at some point yesterday Gordon picked up the phone and with characteristic charm and friendliness, politely asked the editor of the Courier to reconsider the article. After a calm negotiation the paper claims that a “compromise about future articles” from Gordon was reached. Thus a mutually agreeable conclusion was reached and both parties went their separate ways amicably. 

Sadly for Gordon though, an eagle-eyed hack at the Scottish Express thought fit to lift the entire story from the Courier’s website and even mooted an upcoming by-election:

Their editor should prepare for incoming fire…

If Guido recalls correctly, Gordon’s “relaunch” a few days later was a spectacular success.

Catastrophe : xmas tree knocked over while I was out, and everyone tried to pretend it didn't happen *totally rumbled the cover up*—
Sarah Brown (@SarahBrownUK) December 19, 2011

Brownite destruction? Cover up? Surely not…

Via Paul Waugh

Is Steve lining himself up to write the book?

So what has he been doing instead of representing his constituency? Well:

• £48,166.00 for a speech to Visa International.
• £36,639.66 for a speech to Credit Suisse in Miami, Florida.
• £36,018.18 for a speech to Comtec Med in Geneva, Switzerland.
• £35,873.94 for a speech to World 50, Inc in New York.
• £36,174.63 for a speech to PIMCO in Newport Beach, California.
• £36,174.63 for a speech to Economic Club of Michigan.
• £36,146.29 for a speech to Skybridge Capital in Las Vegas.
• £36,292.84 for a speech to Citi Latin America in New York.
• £36,224.88 for a speech to Pershing LLC in Miami.

It must be a little painful for the former Prime Mentalist that Blair can command the combined total of that for a hour of his time, but do you know what hurts more Gordon? Radiation poisoning…