Thursday, January 22, 2015

Strike For Drunk Tube Driver Says It All

tube strike

Another year, another tube strike on the cards. The RMT union are balloting members on Monday and could be launching industrial action as early as 17 February. This time the militants are upset that one their comrades was fired for turning up to work boozed up. All out… on the lash!

It seems as good a time as any to remind downtrodden London commuters that we don’t actually need drivers. By Guido’s arithmetic there are at least 63 fully automated subway train systems in world, including Dockland’s Light Railway which has been happily driver free since its construction.

So why isn’t the rest of tube network automated? Well, much of it kind of is; the Jubilee, Victoria and Central lines are all semi-autbuttonsomatic. The ‘drivers’ literally have to press two buttons at the same time once and the train drives itself. Not bad for £50,000 a year, and no wonder they think they can do it drunk.

The RMT’s stranglehold over the Underground is so great that even though Boris’ soon to be delivered 250 new trains are capable of running on auto, they will have drivers until the 2020s.

Robots don’t strike.

Iceberg! Dead A’Ed

After initially denying that Ed Miliband would speak at the Titanic Belfast Centre, he did last night. Now why would Labour spinners be coy about a thing like that? Not a deckchair in sight…

Via @schofieldkevin

Some Sad News…

A sad day in libertarian circles as it emerges young campaigner Christina Annesley has died while on holiday in Thailand.

The one time Tory turned ‘Kipper turned vocal free spirit was a regular on the young right-wing scene and was just 23 years old.

Guido’s thoughts are with her family and many friends this morning.

 

UPDATE: Foreign Office statement:

“We can confirm the death of a British National in Thailand on 21 January 2014. We are providing consular assistance to the family at this difficult time.”

Bank Statement to Follow

Coutts, founded 1692, requires customers to have investable assets of over £1 million. The People’s Bank…

Gotcha! Corrections and Clarifications Time…

If only there was some form of statutory regulation to stop the unruly press from writing stories that are completely untrue:

All the Guardian’s many, many news and comment pieces yesterday will be corrected and clarified with due prominence, won’t they?

What about the BBC, which proclaimed “it was the feminists wot won it” and put the unconfirmed story, described by a Sun spokesman as “wild speculation”, in the main headlines on the News at Six and the News at Ten?

And there was this latest great Labour social media success:

Not to mention the premature celebrations from the less popular parts of the internet:

The greatest trick the Sun ever pulled was convincing the world Page 3 didn’t exist…

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

BREAKING: Threedom! Page 3 Back in The Sun Tomorrow

page3

All that ink spilt in vain, Page 3 never went away. Back in The Sun tomorrow, you can see Nicole, 22 here.

Looks like the Guardian, BBC and Times have boobed…

UPDATE:

BREAKING: Plain Packaging is Happening…

CONFIRMED: As Guido predicted, Jane Ellison just announced the government will go ahead with standardised packaging. They have the votes…

You read it here first.

While We Are Talking About Politicians and Food…

Lest we forget when it comes to politicians and food, Gordon had all bases covered:

Don’t forget to vote in our poll

GUIDO POLL: Foreign Nando’s V British Harvester

The PM has claimed that foreign food from Nando’s is better value than a good old British Harvester. He probably focus grouped his answers, but is he out of touch?

CALL ME DAVE: I Like Hip Hop, Nandos & Bryan Ferry

The PM just popped up on Capital Xtra for a particuarly cringeworthy interview. The last three minutes are golden as “Dave” fails a test to see if he’s as cool as Obama. Guido managed to record a copy before it mysteriously disappeared from the internet:

He prefers cooking shows to the Kardashians, Bryan Ferry over Tinie Tempah and wants everyone to call him Dave…

UPDATE: Full transcript:

Capital: You’ve just had a hard PMQs. You pop along to the office and turn on the TV. Only reality shows are on. Now which one do you watch: Big Brother?

DC: No.

Capital: Love and Hip Hop?

DC: No.

Capital: Or Keeping Up With the Kardashians?

DC: I think – whoops, I’ve just dropped the microphone in shock at that question. I’m not a big brother fan, I have watched it. I haven’t quite got into why everyone’s interested in the Kardashians, so I’m not doing very well on that one. So maybe I’ll try the hip hop show, that sounds a bit better. I like watching cooking shows.

Capital: Barack Obama suggests you need a big artist to pull back the youth vote, so he suggests that he’s gonna bring in Jay-Z for you.

DC: Right.

Capital: Prime Minister Tony Abbott calls from Australia and says Iggy Azalea is the way forward.

DC: Right.

Capital: Or do you go safe and call up Tinie Tempah and get the UK on track?

DC: I don’t know, the track I would like to have – but this makes me sound so old – is Let’s Stick Together by Bryan Ferry, because I think that’s the message for the election.

Capital: One more question. Everyone’s over in London for the G7 summit. It’s up to you to order lunch. Do you go to Harvester, the Gordon Ramsay pub or get some chicken in from Nando’s.

DC: I’ve been to a Gordon Ramsay restaurant, I’ve been to Nando’s and I’ve been to a Harvester. I think Nando’s is the best value for money. I had a very good Nando’s in Bristol.

UPDATE II: Nigel Farage slams Cameron, telling Guido: “Harvester over Nando’s any day, but if you ask me a good local pub can’t be beat.”

UPDATE III: Ed Balls weighs in, he prefers Little Chef:

“My kids like Nando’s, I haven’t been a regular at Harvester.”


Seen Elsewhere

Introducing the New CapX | CapX
Burnham’s Newsnight Debacle Dissected | Dan Hodges
How I Survived Dry January | Nigel Farage
Greens are Commies in Disguise | Andrei Rogobete
When Osborne Weaponised | Paul Waugh
Divided Left Will Cost Ed | George Eaton
I’m Hoping Labour Attack Tories on Education | Toby Young
Westminster’s NHS Conspiracy of Silence | Allister Heath
Milburn Health Consultancy Worth £2 Million | Scrapbook
Stuart Broad Right, Peston Broadly Wrong | Ryan Bourne
The 38 Seats in England Yet to Select a Tory Candidate | ConHome


Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS


Dan Hodges on Labour unity

“We’ve heard a lot over the past few years about how Miliband has united Labour. But he has not united Labour. He has pacified Labour. He has placed it into a medically induced coma following the trauma of the party’s 2010 defeat.”


Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:






RSS


AddThis Feed Button
Archive


Labels
Guido Reads
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,715 other followers