So contrary to early reports and rejoicing this morning on the unpopular blogs, Guido is still at liberty. Sentenced to a 3 year driving ban, plus 3 month curfew. No excuses, Guido pleaded guilty.

Mrs Fawkes laughed at the news, she has been trying to get her husband home early for years. Guido attributes his shameful behavior to excess alcohol and an early reading of P J O’Rourke’s Republican Party Reptile*.

Thanks to all those of you who sent best wishes and to the not at all obsessed T** I****** for turning up to offer, errm, support in the public gallery. Having demurred to the offer of an alcohol treatment program, Guido will continue to drink and now be chauffeur-driven home early.

*The Platform of the Republican Party Reptiles:

Over at Harry’s Place and elsewhere on the left-wing blogosphere they are hyperventilating about the appointment of Munira Mirza, who has been hired by Boris to be his race relations adviser, to the consternation of many on both the left and the right. Some on the left claimed she was a member or a former member of the RCP sect. As did some on the right.

So Guido asked Munira -

She quickly pointed out to Guido “I think the RCP was disbanded while I was still at school. I wasn’t a member.” Doh!

Guido has just got off the phone with Joe Derrett, who works in the Mayor’s press office – for now – he has for some years handled press requests for interviews with the Mayor. Guido asked him if he was “surprised to still have a job?” “Why?” he said defensively. “Aren’t you the former London Regional Labour Party Press Officer?” “Errr, I’ve got to go to a meeting.” he claimed. Somehow Guido suspects Joe won’t be in tune with the new order at City Hall for long…

Still not sure Guido knows what the Labour Party’s policy is on a Scottish independance referendum. Mind you nor do Wendy and Gordon. Perhaps they have taken devolution to the logical conclusion with different policies in Westminster and Edinburgh.

If you can explain the policy in an amusing and definitive way there is still time. Guido will give a copy of the best book on how to win a referendum – “White Elephant – How the North East Said No“ – to anyone who can explain, definitively the Labour Party’s position on a Scottish referendum in less than 50 words. Answers in the comments please.

During the PMQs live chat the co-conspirators immediately predicted Glasgow Rangers would lose to St. Petersburg as soon as Gordon wished them well. They lost the UEFA cup final 2-0 tonight. John Reid will be laughing…

So we wait 48 days for something that Nick Clegg said should be published immediately* and it breaks down as follows:

Additional Costs Allowance he claimed £23,083.00

100% of the maximum £23,083 legally allowed.

Incidental Expenses Provision claim £20,926.63

98% of the maximum £21,339 legally allowed.

UPDATE : Checking the back of an envelope, at the 40% rate that is equivalent to gross pay of £74,036 on top of his salary – effectively doubling his salary for home improvements.

LabourHome has started doing a tracker poll, if it is good enough for ConservativeHome and PoliticsHome it is good enough for them.

Good news and bad news for Gordon, the good news is he is rated higher than his Chancellor. The bad news is he scored the second lowest out of the cabinet…

Most Labour activists rate Miliband highest, followed by Alan Johnson. Would Guido be completely crazy to suspect that this isn’t really a 1 to 10 performance rating, but a proxy for “Who would you rather lead the Labour Party?” Of course it is…

We will be watching Daily Politics. Would a co-conspirator like to volunteer to be a moderator? Basically let everything pass with few exceptions even if it upsets Suzanne Moore. No drinking before midday. Email Guido.Fawkes@order-order.com.

Via the Crown Blog the cringe making More4 News interview where Tamsin is asked three times if Gordon is “an asset or a liability?”: