Friday Caption Contest (World Leaders Congratulations Edition)

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Entries in the comments please…

Popular SW1 Figures Caught Up in Nice Attack

The Speccie’s Isabel Hardman was in Nice at the time of the attacks last night, her report can be read here:

The Mirror meanwhile reports that Labour MP John Woodcock, also in Nice, gave shelter to a Parisian family in his flat:

Stay safe.

Cabinet in Numbers: Just 7 Brexiters

may cabinet data

Guido has been crunching the numbers for May’s new Cabinet. There are only seven Brexiters, one more than in Cameron’s last Cabinet. There are only eight female members, one more than previously, hardly a march of the women. Most of the key Cameron and Osborne allies have gone though there remain nine Cabinet members who could be described as Friends of George. And there are just two ethnic minorities (half the number of Davids), though that is representative of the wider population. It’s still a heavily male, Remain Cabinet…

Tom Watson Hires Steve Coogan’s 19 Year-Old Daughter as Aide

clare coogan cole

Tom Watson has hired Steve Coogan’s 19 year-old daughter as his parliamentary aide. Clare Coogan Cole is Coogan’s daughter by his ex-girlfriend Anna Cole, who dumped him after he admitted cheating on her with model Nancy Sorrell and two other beauties. Coke ‘n hookers aficionado Coogan became close friends with fellow enemy-of-press-freedom Watson during their time campaigning for Hacked Off. He went on to star in several high profile Labour campaigns including Watson’s Save the NHS tour. Generous of Watson to repay the favour with a paid job for Coogan’s daughter, who no doubt was hired on merit in an open, full and fair recruitment process. A taxpayer-funded favour for his multi-millionaire Murdophobe mate… up the workers!

SpAd List: May Names New Team

A new government means a new SpAd list and Guido’s handy resource of political appointments is beginning to take shape. Theresa May has appointed her former SpAds Fiona Hill (formerly Cunningham) and Nick Timothy as her Joint Chiefs of Staff. Her former spin doctor and PR guru Katie Perrior becomes Director of Communications. Mail on Sunday journalist turned media spokeswoman Liz Sanderson is Head of Features. Vote Leave alumnus and ex-IDS aide Lizzie Loudon will be Press Secretary. John Godfrey is the new Number 10 Director of Policy.

Ministers who survived the reshuffle are likely to keep hold of their bag-carriers so Guido has included them on the list for the time being. The high turnover of ministers means there are a lot of talented SpAds spending their evenings in Westminster pubs plotting their next move. New departments mean there are more places to fill. Help us fill in the gaps as and when appointments are made by emailing team@order-order.com

New Cabinet in Full

RESHUFFLE2

Theresa May – Prime Minister.

Philip Hammond – Chancellor of the Exchequer.

Amber Rudd – Home Secretary.

Boris Johnson – Foreign Secretary.

Michael Fallon – Defence Secretary.

David Davis – Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union.

Liam Fox – Secretary of State for International Trade.

David Gauke – Chief Secretary to the Treasury.

Jeremy Hunt – Health Secretary.

Justine Greening – Education Secretary.

Damian Green – Work and Pensions Secretary.

Liz Truss – Justice Secretary.

Chris Grayling – Transport Secretary.

Greg Clark – Secretary of State for Business, Energy and Industrial Strategy.

Andrea Leadsom – Environment Secretary.

Priti Patel – Secretary of State for International Development.

Karen Bradley – Culture Secretary.

Sajid Javid – Communities Secretary.

Jeremy Wright – Attorney General.

Gavin Williamson – Chief Whip.

Patrick McLoughlin – Party chairman.

Alun Cairns – Welsh Secretary.

David Mundell – Scottish Secretary.

James Brokenshire – Northern Ireland Secretary.

David Lidington – Leader of the Commons.

Baroness Evans – Leader of the Lords.

Ben Gummer – Minister for the Cabinet Office.

Labour Voters Agree Corbyn Would be “A Good Prime Minister”

eagle corbyn stats

Topline figures from Ipsos MORI’s July political monitor might have made gloomy reading for Corbyn supporters. When asked whether or not they agree that Corbyn has what it takes to be a good Prime Minister, only 23% agreed, with 68% disagreeing, 6% impartial, and 3% “Don’t Know” (Eagle scored 21%, 40%, 15%, and 24% respectively).

However, when this is broken down into just Labour voters, the picture changes dramatically. 47% of Labour voters agree Jez has what it takes to be a good PM – compared to just 30% for Angela Eagle. In total, net 3% of Labour voters agreed with the question for Corbyn, compared to -7% for Eagle. These are voters – not members – and therefore could represent Labour’s core more accurately than internal membership polls. Though the distinction is irrelevant – both Labour members and voters clearly back Corbyn…

Sophy Ridge C-Bombs Jeremy Hunt

Boulton, pro that it he is, barely reacts, watch the eyes…

Media Mistakes Under Reshuffle Pressure

hunt truss telegraph

May’s fast-paced reshuffle is clearly frazzling some, with the Telegraph Politics first saying the new Justice Secretary Liz Truss had been moved to education, and then using a picture of Jeremy Hunt when referring to Gavin Williamson. They had one job…

Next a woman – sounding remarkably like Sky News reporter Beth Rigby – is heard exclaiming “Oh sh*t I dropped my phone” while trying to question Jeremy Hunt. Swearing before 9 pm is in breach of Ofcom’s regulations. As Boulton says, “I’m sure you didn’t hear it from Jeremy Hunt”…

Top Farage Allies Back Woolfe

Steven Woolfe launches his UKIP leadership bid, backed by key Farage supporters Nathan Gill and Peter Whittle. Will he be the Faragista candidate?

‘Impartial’ BBC Newsroom Celebrates Whitto Sacking

ed1

This very silly tweet from BBC journalist Ed Ram has swiftly been deleted. The Beeb’s impartiality out in full force on reshuffle day. Well done Ed for giving the game away…

UPDATE: A BBC spokesman comments: “We’re not commenting.”

Eton-ian Gives Chuka £15,000

chuka ETONIAN

Always interesting to see which Labour moderates are quietly amassing war chests via donations from rich City types. Chuka Umunna has trousered £15,000 from Eton Capital Management hedgie Nick Campsie and another £7,500 from Innocent Smoothies boss Richard Reed, supposedly to fund his naff Vote Leave Watch idea. Eton Park made $21.2 million after Brexit by betting on gold

Tristram Hunt has raked in over £100,000 over the last few months, including £10,000 from raging posho Alison Wedgwood. Dan Jarvis has had another few grand off major Labour donor Trevor Chinn. No new money for Angela Eagle or Owen Smith…

Slick Whipping Operation For “Oily” Smith

Opponents of Owen Smith complain that the Labour whips office has intervened to ensure he beats Angela Eagle’s number of nominations. Smith was spotted deep in discussion with whip and top schemer Conor McGinn yesterday – the pair are close and McGinn’s wife used to work for Smith as an aide. McGinn, who was accused of orchestrating Shadow Cabinet resignations, is incidentally very close to Tom Watson…

Who is helping run Smith’s operation? Heidi Alexander and Lucy Powell have been canvassing on his behalf, and Vernon Coaker has been talking him up on the terrace. Smith has the backing of the “old right” of the party, which is ironic given he used to be a Blairite and is now positioning himself as a competent version of Corbyn. Smith’s official line is that he only decided in the last few days that he had to stand. This has surprised Labour MPs who received phone calls six months ago asking if they would support his bid. It’s a slick operation for “oily” Smith

Angela Eagle Hears Boris News

Reshuffle As It Happens

RESHUFFLE2

Chancellor – Philip Hammond

George Osborne sacked.

Foreign Secretary – Boris Johnson

Home Secretary – Amber Rudd

Defence Secretary – Michael Fallon

Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union – David Davis

Secretary of State for International Trade – Liam Fox

David Cameron: Musical Tribute

Dave’s best bits, put to music…[…]

+ READ MORE +



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