Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Burnham’s Barnstorming Leadership Bid

As if Miliband’s week couldn’t get any worse, ambitious Andy Burnham has just managed not one but two standing ovations in a very well-received speech in the Labour conference hall:

 Imagine that went down like a cup of cold sick in Miliband’s hotel room…

Labour Supporting Columnists Have Their Say on Ed’s Speech

The nasty left wing press really should stop these personal attacks…

Guido Had a Bizarre Dream Last Night…

…that he was down the Rover’s Return on Coronation Street when this vaguely familiar face came in and stared at him from the other end of the bar:

Then Guido stumbles out and bumps into Len McCluskey, before having an awkward moment with Owen Jones. “Last night I met Guido, a blogger. He told me…”

Thanks From the Indian Space Research Organisation

Success! British taxpayers will be delighted to learn that India’s mission to Mars is complete, with the Mangalyaan spacecraft orbiting the Red Planet last night. The Mars Orbiter Mission cost £45 million, or 6% of the £800 million in overseas aid Britain has sent to India since 2010.

Once again, the Indian Space Research Organisation would like to say thank you for all the money:

Not a bad time for UKIP to pledge a 90% cut in overseas aid at their party conference…

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

WATCH: Ed Miliband Pet Shop Boys Remix

Via Newsnight.

The Man Who Hated Ed’s Speech

After the fun and games of last conference season and the Mail’s ‘Ed’s Dad Hates Britain’ story, revenge was a dish served from the platform for the Labour leader. Ed used his conference speech to slam the Mail much to the joy of the crowd, for whom the paper have become Labour’s bogeyman de jour.

It was certainly an awkward moment for Mail on Sunday editor Geordie Greig , whose sister paper ran the offending Ralph Miliband story and who was conveniently sitting in the cheap seats of the Manchester Central Convention Centre, watching the speech live.

“All rather predictable really,” Greig told Guido as he scuttled toward the exit. Literally the first person to leave the hall after speech.

 

Gareth Can’t Decide Between Yellow and Red

Poor due diligence from Labour speechwriters on Gareth from IT, the man Ed spent a large portion of his speech talking about meeting. It turns out he voted LibDem at the last election. Here he is unable to decide between yellow and red:

‘Elizabeth’, another of the many people who have met Ed Miliband and gone on to feature in his speeches, meanwhile says she is keeping an open mind about who she is voting for next year. Obviously ‘Colin’ does not have a vote next time, given he is no longer with us. He died shortly after his conversation with Ed, but not before speaking in perfect soundbites.  The personal touch doesn’t seem to be working…

 

Cameron Caught on Camera
Queen “Purred” at No Vote, “I Want to Sue” Polling Companies

The PM’s unguarded comments to Michael Bloomberg about the Scottish referendum have been caught on tape by Sky News:

“The definition of relief is being Prime Minister of the United Kingdom and calling the Queen and saying ‘It’s alright, it’s okay’. That was something. She purred down the line… But it should never have been that close, it wasn’t in the end. There was a time in the middle of the campaign when it felt… I’ve said I want to find these polling companies and I want to sue them for my stomach ulcers because of what they put me through. It was very nervous moments.”

Yikes!

Ed and Justine’s Awkward Post-Speech Kiss

The traditional post-speech kiss didn’t go quite to plan:

With a small amount of convincing, Justine finally gave him a peck:

Conference would not have been complete without a high quality awkward Ed moment…

Theme From Brother, Slogan From Obama, Jokes From Blair


Finally a sign that David Axelrod is actually doing some work for Ed Miliband? It wasn’t just the Labour leader’s top line, “Together we can”, that was a clunkier rip off of Obama. Miliband then told the conference hall “For Labour this election is about you”, lifted straight from Obama’s stump speeches in which he told voters; “This election is not about me. It’s about you.” Labour are paying Axelrod a six figure sum for second hand goods…

While every politician tries to mimic Obama these days, it’s a bit harsh of Ed to quote his stabbed brother. “On your own” was a David Miliband line repeated by Ed as a warning of what would happen unless people vote for him. It’s what David tried in 2008 when he said “unless government is on your side you end up on your own”. At the time Cameron described this as “one of the most arrogant things I’ve heard a politician say”. So that’s the slogan as well as the theme that he’s lifted. 

And he wasn’t done there. Miliband also pinched his opening gag from Tony Blair’s speech to Labour conference in 2006, almost word for word. Then Blair said:

“I know I look a lot older. That’s what being leader of the Labour Party does to you. Actually, looking round some of you look a lot older.”

Today Ed said:

“Since I was here 4 years ago, I feel wiser. I feel older. A lot older! But hang on, some of you lot look older too.”

So much for no more borrowing…


Seen Elsewhere

Why Newmark Story Was Not Fishing Expedition | David Banks
Longlist to Succeed Hague | ConHome
Newmark Nonsense An Excuse to Bash Tabloids | Spiked
Kay Burley’s Top Twitter Zingers | Buzzfeed
Why Tory Tax Cut Pledge is Good News | Allister Heath
ONS Admits Economy Stronger Than It Thought | Speccie
Cameron’s Concessions to UKIP | Nick Wood
#TM4PM: It’s On | Speccie
Path to Defeat Obvious for Both Labour and Tories | Rafael Behr
It’s Boris v May | Sun
Farage is Outflanking the Tories | Guardian


VOTER-RECALL
Find out more about PLMR


David Cameron on political promiscuity…

“On May 7 you could go to bed with Nigel Farage and wake up with Ed Miliband. Not one bit of that works for me.”



cynic says:

Can anyone help me? I went on holiday a week ago and returned to find someone has pulled out the stake and Gordon Brown is back and acting as Prime Minister. What did I miss? Has there been a snap election?


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