Guidoisation of Gov.uk

Since when do Gov.uk do funnies in their press releases?

Guido for one welcomes our new punning overlords…

Important Statistical Analysis of the Labour Leadership Election

guido twitter

Labour bought the social media sentiment analysis snake oil before the election, only to find out that Twitter is full of mental lefties and not entirely representative of the general population. Who knew?

Two months on the social media battle is hotting up in the Labour leadership campaign and, shockingly, Jeremy Corbyn is leading the charge for Facebook Likes and Twibbon supporters.

twibbons

The Corbyn for Labour Leader Facebook page has 31,000 likes, Yvette’s page has 12,000, Andy has 11,000 while Liz only has 3,377. 

Corbyn is also crushing the opposition over on Twitter where he has an impressive 1,365 Twibbon backers – people overlaying an image in support on their Twitter avatar. Liz has just 231 Twibbon supporters while Cooper has a paltry 15. Bringing up the rear is Burnham with a grand total of two supporters. Twinning!

Labour MP: English Votes For English Laws is “Racist”

A bit of an Emily Thornberry moment for Gerald Kaufman responding to EVEL:

“Even the title of this motion sounds racist.”

Labour’s contempt for England slips out again.

iPad Democracy: MP Votes to be Recorded on Tablets

ipad-vote-election

It’s all kicking off in the Commons where Chris Grayling has announced plans for English Votes for English Laws. A “double majority” of English and Welsh MPs will be required for legislation and amendments affecting only England and Wales. 

To avoid confusion, votes will now be recorded on iPads:

“This new double majority system will use a new system for recording votes in the division lobbies. In future votes will be recorded on tablet computers, so it will be possible to give the tellers an immediate tally of whether a measure has a majority of English MPs as well”

iPads become part of the constitution…

At Last! BBC Axe First 1,000 Jobs

An £150 million shortfall in the BBC’s licence fee income means 1,000 jobs are to be axed.

Back of a fag packet maths would point to these thousand employees being on £150,000 each…

UPDATE: The Beeb say this round of cuts will save £50 million, £50,000 per sacked employee.

Dave Meets UKIP

Guido is very hungover after last night’s Speccie bash. It was very hot and there was a lot of Pimms involved, also an inexplicable number of pretty models there…

Sadly no Miliband this year, instead it was Harman’s turn to pretend she wanted to be there. Osborne took a couple of hours off from preparing for the Budget while Michael Fallon was bullish about the jihadis. Liz Truss was flirty and Nicky Morgan wandered around looking for someone to talk to. Boris was banging on about some airport…

unnamed (3)

Most amusing was the PM’s drive by, where he immediately got locked into conversation with UKIP spin supremo Gawain Towler. Apparently Dave’s defence was that the smaller European nations are going to support his renegotiation plans. There are about four million reasons why that conversation looked painful. 

Despite the heat the PM’s old pal Steve Hilton got a proper hug, though the hippy chat was soon troubling Dave:

unnamed (4) Blogging may be light…

Guardian Heatwave Liveblog Closes After Servers Overheat

There we all were enjoying the Guardian’s heatwave liveblog…

When disaster struck…

To make things worse, the air con at King’s Place packed in as well:

“There is currently a fault with the main chiller unit for the building.”

Staff have now been sent home:

Dear all

Because of the heat we are having some problems with cooling key systems. We will be shutting down all systems at 4.15 today so please save everything and log off. We would like people to go home unless they are involved in the newspaper edition or the website. Please take home laptops in case we need people to work from home tomorrow. We will keep you updated so please keep checking emails and, if in doubt, talk to your line manager.

Sheila

Remember to look out for vulnerable newspaper neighbours in this period of extreme weather…

Dave Kills Mood at Summer Party With Rant About Surveillance

Dave used last night’s champagne fuelled Tory summer ball to go off on one about terrorists and mass surveillance.

Speaking to a 850 strong crowd at a packed Hurlingham Club, Cameron said he was all for Muslims who call out and condemn terror, but argued that he sees it as his mission to tackle any violent ideology.

First in his sights who those that say things like “I don’t condone terror, but a caliphate is a good thing” or that we bring terrorism on ourselves and it’s all our fault because of Iraq and Afghanistan, Israel, or poverty in Muslim countries.

An emotional Cameron got things stirring by declaring that we can’t sit idly by as even if we left them alone they’re not going to leave us alone, they’ll come and destroy us and our way of life using the only methods they know.

Witnesses report he then went on a passionate defence of data gathering – having a dig at those who think the government is overreaching/turning into Big Brother.

The PM’s shaky justification for mass-surveillance was that we have always tapped phones and intercepted letters of organised criminals and the IRA, now that technology has moved on, we need to react.

Iffy: bugging Seamas O’Bomber’s landline is somewhat different from reading everyone’s emails.

It’s safe to say the civil liberties lobby were not out in force at the £450 per head event.

SKETCH: Ladies Tennis, ISIS and EVEL MacSporrans

Were they tails that the Speaker was wearing, and a waistcoat? Is he finally dressing the part? It’s cruellest trick he’s playing on his critics. He’s turning himself into a decent Speaker. Acting the part, dressing the part, sounding the […]

+ READ MORE +

New UKIP Attack Ad Skewers Two-Faced Dave on Treaty Change

They might not have an HQ, but somewhere a ‘kipper is working hard at his laptop…[…]

+ READ MORE +

“Dodgy” Dave v “Jurassic Park” Skinner

Labour are boarding the outrage bus after Flashman Cam snapped back at Dennis Skinner’s “Dodgy Dave” jibe by calling him “Jurassic Park” at PMQs:

The PM had to apologise when he called Skinner a “dinosaur” back in 2012…[…]

+ READ MORE +

Greek Poll Has “No” Side Ahead

greek-no

Greece looks likely to reject the creditors’ bailout according to the latest poll published today. Asked how they would vote in a referendum – assuming it goes ahead – 46% said they back the “no” vote, down from 57%, with […]

+ READ MORE +



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Quote of the Day

Liz Kendall is asked by Tom Newton Dunn if she would ever ban the Sun from one of her press conferences:

“If you stripped naked and ran in front of me, Tom, I might have second thoughts about it, but apart from that, no.”

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