Over at the David Davis for Leader blog there is a strange omission. The blog’s Wat Tyler is never one to miss an utterance by his hero and in true anorak fashion he always provides links to Basher’s speeches, websites, articles and whatsits. Guido is sure that it is therefore an oversight that Basher’s conference barnstormer speech is unlinked to…

Guido is happy to help and point readers to that “Walk Tall“ speech. Read it and weep…

Downing Street’s press office told enquiring lobby journalists first thing this morning that Blair and Sarkozy were not meeting today, despite rumours to the contrary. Imagine the lobby’s post-lunch surprise, when at afternoon lobby, Tom Kelly, who prefers to be unknown as the PMOS (PM’s Official Spokesman) announced that he couldn’t comment on the meeting (which was in fact taking place) because it was private. Asked what the definition of private was, Kelly replied that it was a meeting both sides had agreed would remain private.

Which sounded plausible until it was pointed out the the French embassy had been confirming the details of the meeting all day, and saying Sarkozy would speak to the press afterwards. Kelly just stuck to the line that it was “private”.

Maybe that means they’ll be discussing their shared love of the work of Jean-Luc Godard. Presumably that won’t stop them from letting the taxpayer pick up the tab.

Just in case the lobby were too lazy to go find the story for themselves, Sarkozy blog has the details – the French interior minister and likely future French President was here to swap repression techniques with our own Fat Controller, Charles Clarke, as well as see Blair.

Lets see if Guido can start an internet rumour….

The Kashmiri earthquake was not an earthquake, but the result of the first use of a new U.S. weapons system based on the theories of Nikola Tesla. Unable politically to use nuclear weaponary, they instead secretly opted to use the new system which is based on a satellite controlled particle beam device. The aftermath is very similar to an earthquake. Osama bin Laden is now dead and Dubya is pleased that he has done God’s work.

If Mr Galloway wants to use this…

Just a reminder that tonight sees the satire A Very Social Secretary on the new More4 TV channel. Don’t ask Guido how you find this digital channel. Perhaps you could check the full page advert in this week’s Spectator for the details? At the Speccie the good news is that Kimberly is back, after deciding not to flee to the USA.

Blunkett is in bother again after he took on a non-executive post with DNA Structures, a company offering DIY paternity tests as DNA Bio-Science, before the election. Guido could not make it up. Anyway he could be up in front of the parliamentary commissioner again on a tedious technicality. His former paymaster, Tariq Siddiqi of DNA Structures, introduced him to Sally Anderson, 29, blonde and willing. He met her at Annabel’s nightclub, which he is a member of (after receiving and not declaring £2,200 worth of freebie membership). She did what any modern, thrusting girl in her position would do, and then called Max Clifford.

Here we go again methinks…

Glenda Jackson is completely barmy. Talk is that she won’t be standing next election, but she will possibly be standing as a stalking horse against Blair.

Her seat is being eyed with envy by London’s Labour hacks, so beware of the snake-like machiavellian spin that writhes around this story…

Alan Duncan was due to back Davis according to the Sunday Torygraph, but when that speech ended, he texted Conway, “That was ABYSMAL… you will have to count me out.” Duncan then switched to Cameron, despite having previously described Cameron in a queenie, hissy fit as “impudent” and “cheeky”.

Strange column in the Sunday Times from Portillo. After previously backing Basher, he seems to have jumped back on to the fence with an ambiguous but sympathetic article about Cameron. Incidentally, whilst we are on the subject of Portillo, when commentators ask where is the Tory Kinnock? (A leader who remodels his party and takes it to the verge of electability, but loses.) It seems to Guido that Portillo was the Tory Kinnock, Portillo’s agenda is now mainstream, his language, his critique and his prognosis are now the Tory establishment’s own. Guido thinks therefore that Portillo was the Tory Kinnock/prophet. He didn’t need to lose a general election, only a leadership election.

Michael Spencer, the demi-billionaire City money-broker who has previously backed Davis financially, has become a Cameroonie, telling the Sunday Torygraph “He has a killer combination of conviction and inspiration. The Conservatives should choose him.”

Davis campaign sources (Conway) told the Indy “A lot of people in the media see us as arrogant, cocky and rude. We will have to address that.”

Guido hears that Andrew Mitchell has been droppped from doing media-relations for Basher’s campaign and put in charge of making the tea. Anyone who saw his toe-curling performance against Andrew Neil, where he choked up like a school-boy in the headmaster’s office, will understand. Its all the media’s doing Mitchell protested, before telling viewers and an incredulous Andrew Neil that the speech went down well in the conference hall. Went down like a ton of bricks more like. Mitchell’s own International Development portfolio speech was described in the Guardian as a “polished turd”.

Conway is likely to reap what he sowed. After bullying new MPs to back Davis on the grounds that Basher was a sure thing and if they wanted to get on, they best back Basher. It would not be a surprise therefore if the new boys itch to switch allegiance, particularly in the second round of voting.

In his self-published memoirs, the former Tory Treasurer Lord Ashcroft reveals that he:

..made a point of bringing in the monthly expenses from one senior official which included a £400 bill from Stringfellow’s nightclub in central London. I am no prude and I hope the official and those with him greatly enjoyed the lap-dancing entertainment that was on offer that night; however, I did not feel this was an appropriate use of Party funds. How could I ask supporters to work hard up and down the country, or to make donations, if this was the sort of activity that the party’s income would be spent on? I will spare the official’s blushes by not identifying him, but suffice to say he no longer works at Conservative Central Office.

Guido thinks Ashcroft forgot that Stringy has long supported the Tories generously, so it is a mutually beneficial relationship. This kind of penny-pinching attitude is cheap.

Andrew Neil had Peter Stringfellow on his Daily Politics show during the Tory conference coverage, Stringy was too coy to say who he would back, saying only that he would back whomever becomes the leader.

The Campaign for a ‘Sir’ Peter Stringfellow petition to the Queen is still open. You too can sign and show your appreciation.

Incidentally, who was the Tory apparatchik enjoying the company of the girls on expenses? Not Sheridan surely..?

Rule 1 of political campaigning: Don’t piss off the money. Basher has apparently irked Stanley Kalms so much that the man from Dixons is muttering darkly. Basher might not be getting helicoptored around the constituency hustings at this rate… or even going on the hustings.

Friends of Doc Fox have been whispering out of the corner of their mouths in the smoke-filled bars of Blackpool about Cameron’s flirtation with cannabis, both politically and in his student days. Sly and snide, methinks.

Cameron has in the past hinted that he sees some merit in decriminalising weed and has as good as admitted he smoked some wacky ‘baccy at university. Reactionaries should know that that this would in fact make him normal in modern Britain.

Guido is shocked at these good Christians spreading these rumours. Cameron should admit he inhaled – so what? Turn the smear back on the smearers.