Hain Brought to Book

The news that Peter Hain is working on a biography of Nelson Mandela is very disappointing. Guido was hoping that Hain, who already has a criminal conviction for conspiracy, might start work on a follow-up to his 1984 book, Political Trials in Britain (still available on Amazon.)

There should be an opportunity to update it with topical first hand reports. That is if the CPS decides, for once, to prosecute a politician who breaks the law. Scotland Yard has handed over the file to the CPS. Just to re-cap, over a hundred thousand pounds was mysteriously laundered through a slush fund called the Progressive Policies Forum. Nobody had heard of this before and none of the donations were declared. Steve Morgan his campaign manager blames everyone else, Hain blames him. We all eagerly await their day in Court…

Let Them Eat Crusts

Fresh from saving the world by getting Marks and Sparks to charge for plastic bags, Gordon’s latest encomium to “eat your crusts” strikes Guido as sub-Majoresque style cones-line floundering. That is the kind of thing Guido tells 3 year-old Ms Fawkes.

One of Guido’s co-conspirators puts it very well

Zimbabwe in crisis. Iraq still a mess. Iran developing nuclear weapons. Roads system approaching gridlock. Filthy hospitals killing people. House prices collapse. Economy in meltdown. Treasury demoralised. Banks propped up by state money. Auditors say Government is fiddling national accounts.

What then does the PM choose to focus on? Why, a lot of it is all our fault. We are throwing away too much food that could be eaten.

Thank you Gordon. Your intellectual prowess is astounding. The scales have fallen from my eyes. Now I see it. Owing to the butterfly effect in chaos theory, that mouldy carrot in my kitchen has precipitated a global ecenomic crisis. That jar of pasta sauce just past its sell by date may be the key to our salvation – nay may even save the world.

Thanks Gordon, what would we do without you.

Quite.

Marr Gets All Aggressive

The Indy this morning has an interview with Andrew Marr, this passage made Guido laugh:
“I can be exceedingly aggressive when I want to be,” he says, claiming that encounters with Gordon Brown and Alistair Darling on his Sunday morning BBC1 programme, The Andrew Marr Show, “were as aggressive as any interview you will have seen for a long time”.

Yes we all remember that aggression when a nervous Gordon Brown gave him an exclusive interview immediately post Gordon’s attempted coup d’ etat and was a crucial opportunity to get to the truth. Gordon’s fingerprints were all over it, he was clearly lying about his knowledge of, and attitude to it. He had even met Tom Watson on the eve of the putsch. It was clear for all to see and Gordon was in difficulties. Nick Robinson, Paxman or Andrew Neil could have crucified Brown, Frost would have ambushed him silkily. Even Ant and Dec would probably have scored a goal. What did Marr do? This pathetic interview was the political equivalent of fellatio. Marr had an open goal yet Gordon left smiling and relieved.

It was hardly a fearsome interrogation that revealed Gordon would not be having an election., more a summons for an official communique delivered by Marr (see picture above). The eve of premiership biopic in Kirkcaldy was more soft-focus than hard questions was hardly aggressive. Marr may now regret being a patsy, but that is what he was, so spare us the false claims to aggression Andy. The reason he is Brown’s preferred interlocutor is not because Brown is courageous…

N.B. Guido’s favourite Rich and Mark’s cartoon featuring ol’ Jug Ears is here.

Rich & Mark’s Monday Morning View

Sunday Sleaze Round-Up

Guido has introduced a simple Pigs in Shit rating system for guidance on the misdemeanors of porcine politicians (guide here). Post links in the comments and we will update this post during the morning.

50 MPs Refuse to Disclose Details of Staff Pay
Indy

1 in 13 MPs refuse to say where the money goes and what the public gets for their money. Unbelievable.
Resigning Glasgow East Labour MP spent £500,000
Running “Office” from Home Staffed by Wife
Mail
Could the “illness” that forced his resignation be related to him pigging out on expenses?
Poll Shows Spelman
Disapproval/Tory Corruption Correlation

PoliticsHome
Sleaze is a toxic meme for the Tories, the longer Spelman chairs the party, the worse the perception will become.

Gordon Doesn’t Appear to Have Any Answers

Post your video on YouTube and Gordon will answer your questions – PMQs for the People – on the interwebby. Gordon is a digital Prime Minister… or so they spun back in May.

Some 167,000 people watched his call for questions to be uploaded on YouTube – not quite as many as watched him pick his nose. Now the fanfare has died down. “The top-voted user questions will be answered by Gordon Brown at the end of June” says the “Ask the PM” website.
It is now July, Guido knows not if it is incompetence or dithering, but Gordon has given no answers to the questions posed. Promise broken. Time, effort and money wasted. A load of spin. Nothing in return. We have our answer PM…

+++ David Davis Finally Gets His Debate +++

Sky is tentatively reporting that Boulton will host a debate between David Davis and Tony McNulty at 1100 this Sunday (tomorrow). Surprising since it was reported that Downing Street had decreed that Davis was not to be debated against, all the more to marginalise him.

Tony McNulty went to the same school as Guido. He learnt logic from a fearsome maths master in the Jesuit tradition (though our old school was Salvatorian not Jesuit). Davis is not renowned for his oratorical ability, McNulty has a bit of a steam-roller style of debate. So even if McNulty has the fundamentally more difficult case to argue, he won’t be easily bested by Basher….

Boris Loses Another Adviser

If you are going to stand for public office, don’t lie about your CV. With questions already hanging over him Ray Lewis made an exaggerated claim that he was a Justice of the Peace rather than merely approved to be a Justice of the Peace. In the context of questions about his probity, that was a fatal untruth.

Boris supporters talk darkly of a dirt digging campaign by supporters of Socialist Action, the far left clique that surrounded Ken. Guido has no idea if there is any truth in it, nor does he think the information source to be relevant. If Ray Lewis was completely straight and honest, there would have been no need to resign. Politicians are put in positions of trust, past misdemeanours don’t necessarily disqualify a reformed individual from public office. Lying in the present does.

UPDATE : A co-conspirator points out that this week’s Time Out London quotes Ken Livingstone as saying he “rates Lewis as ‘imaginative’, and says he wishes he’d got him on board.” Boris wasn’t the only one mislead clearly…

Friday Caption Contest*


*Since last week there were complaints that it was a fix, Guido has gone back to not giving out prizes. That’ll learn ya…

[…]

+ READ MORE +

+++ Source : Tories Take Legal Advice on Deselecting MEPS +++

Which could be bad news for John Purvis, he is going around telling everyone he has been cleared.

[…]

+ READ MORE +

More Nuisance Calling from Gordon Brown

A well informed co-conspirator alerts Guido to more nuisance phone calls to Glasgow from Gordon. Labour is so desperate to see a high profile candidate in the Glasgow East by-election in the hope of stopping the SNP wiping out their

[…]

+ READ MORE +

Troughing Ministers, Troughing Tory MPs

No surprise to see the Wintertons voting to keep their troughs unaudited. Just to look at Tom Watson you know he obviously likes it at the trough. Surprised to see the likes of Jacqui Smith voting against auditing expenses. There

[…]

+ READ MORE +



Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Liz Kendall is asked by Tom Newton Dunn if she would ever ban the Sun from one of her press conferences:

“If you stripped naked and ran in front of me, Tom, I might have second thoughts about it, but apart from that, no.”

Top Posts This Week

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.

Facebook

Labour Candidate: Repatriating Tunisia Victims is ‘Imperialist Militarisation’ Labour Candidate: Repatriating Tunisia Victims is ‘Imperialist Militarisation’
Tory MP’s House Husband on Public Payroll Tory MP’s House Husband on Public Payroll
Corbyn Blames Tunisia Terror on “Austerity” Corbyn Blames Tunisia Terror on “Austerity”
Norwich MP’s Brilliant Accidental Partridge Norwich MP’s Brilliant Accidental Partridge
FRIDAY PROCRASTINATION: BING PONG FRIDAY PROCRASTINATION: BING PONG
Uber Suspend Services in France Uber Suspend Services in France

Gerald Kaufman: English Votes For English Laws is “Racist” Gerald Kaufman: English Votes For English Laws is “Racist”
Environment Minister Totty Watch Environment Minister Totty Watch
MEGA INTERCONTINENTAL ROBOT WARS MEGA INTERCONTINENTAL ROBOT WARS
Dave Meets UKIP Dave Meets UKIP
Secret Fracking Report Doesn’t Reveal Much Secret Fracking Report Doesn’t Reveal Much
Environmental Advantages of Airport Expansion Environmental Advantages of Airport Expansion
PMQS SKETCH PMQS SKETCH
“Dodgy” Dave v “Jurassic” Skinner “Dodgy” Dave v “Jurassic” Skinner
Missed PMQs? Catch Up in Full Here Missed PMQs? Catch Up in Full Here
Do you have what it takes to join a GCHQ hacking SCHOOL? Do you have what it takes to join a GCHQ hacking SCHOOL?
IDS Expenses Row: Was Credit Card Suspended Or Not? IDS Expenses Row: Was Credit Card Suspended Or Not?
Questions Channel 4 News Don’t Want to Ask Questions Channel 4 News Don’t Want to Ask
Zac and Boris Warn Dave Zac and Boris Warn Dave