Never Work With Guido, Children or Animals

In a rare and uncharacteristic act of selfless public service, Guido spoke at an event for a few hundred sixth formers today (the honarium was a decent bottle of Marguax). He advised the politically minded students that they would be better off not going into politics if they wanted to make the world a better place.

Afterwards one of the organisers thanked me – “Yeah, thanks for that, I’m sure all the teachers who brought sudents along were overjoyed when you recommended that the world would be better off if they became honest drug dealers and arms traders rather than politicians.” Glad to be of service.

Boris Landslide Result

Boris by a landslide wins the Conservative Party open primary to select their candidate for London Mayor:

  • Boris Johnson 15,661

  • Victoria Borwick 1,869
  • Andrew Boff 1,674
  • Warwick Lightfoot 609

Guido is surprised he only got some 3/4 of the votes…

The Miliblogger is Back to Bore for Britain

The Miliblogger is back and this time he has a gang. Guido is pleased to say he was the first to welcome him. If you want to give him some feedback, perhaps about the EU constitutional treaty, he would love to hear from you. Tell him Guido sent you…

The Fink Spots Shrum Hand

Tomorrow’s Times will highlight the input of Bob Shrum into Gordon’s conference speech. It turns out to have been a formulaic re-hash of old Shrum speeches. Danny Finkelstein spotted the similarity this afternoon and the paper has since confirmed it to be the case. Shrum is understood to have been given a desk in Downing Street.

Guido need hardly remind readers that Bob Shrum was paid by Gordon’s think-tank, the Smith Institute, to advise him on political strategy. It was documentary evidence of that blatantly illegal activity (provided by Guido) which triggered the ongoing Charity Commission investigation. Ed Balls also berthed at the Smith Institute between leaving his job as a Treasury SpAd and becoming an MP – he was paid a little short of £100,000 for writing a couple of pamphlets.

With the transfer also of Konrad Caulkett from the Smith Institute to Downing Street as well, it is abundantly clear that the Smith Institute has served its purpose – preparing the ground for the Brown premiership. All unlawfully subsidised by the taxpayer…

Cultured Celebrity

Gordon did a light-hearted, well light-hearted by his standards, Q & A session with husky voiced, liberal-thinking man’s crumpet, Mariella Frostrup. It seems like it was only yesterday that he signaled his disapproval of aspects of Britain’s celebrity culture: “It is a remarkable culture where people appear on television and are famous simply for the act of appearing on television.”

Mariella is, errm, a famous TV presenter…

What No Scotland?

The Lobby is jumping all over Fraser Nelson’s interview with George Osborne in the Speccie tomorrow where he appears to distance himself from the über-modernisers.

Of more interest to Guido was the information that in CCHQ

“a new map hangs in George Osborne’s office, showing the latest parliamentary boundaries for the next general election. It could have been designed to soothe the nerves of a Conservative party election co-ordinator, for it is dominated by Tory blue. A few tricks have been used to achieve this optical illusion. There is no Scotland“.

Perhaps George is hoping that Scotland will be coloured yellow…

UPDATE : The Scottish press are very interested in this point of detail. Consequently Osborne’s spin-doctor has been on to Guido claiming that the office does not belong to his boss. “So whose office is it?” Guido challenged, “Errr, I don’t know.” Guido called Fraser Nelson, he certainly thought it was Osborne’s office – opposite Dave’s own. Indeed at one point in the interview Dave walked in “Ah, so that’s where all the booze is kept” he said, “nodding to the bottles of Château Village 2003 in the corner of Mr Osborne’s office”, according to Fraser. Where is Osborne’s Millbank office? We were spun recently that an election-ready campaign team had moved into CCHQ Millbank from their parliamentary offices. Osborne is the campaign manager…

Ali Campbell Complains About the Blogosphere

“The blogosphere is very right wing at the moment. We need more voices out there to counter it” he told 200 mugs who had paid hard cash (£15) to hear Campbell plug his book - “perfect for Dad for Christmas” at a fringe event last night.

Chris Hope in the Telegraph agrees: it is the right-wing blogs that are shaping coverage in the dead-tree-press.
We know the ususal Tory suspects he is talking about – Guido Fawkes, Iain Dale and Tim Montgomerie’s. There are left-wing blogs like LabourHome but they seem to lack the spikiness and must-read edge of Guido, for example.

After a lot of thought about this, Guido has come to a simple conclusion as to why British left-wing blogs are unsuccessful. It is not because Labour is in government. It is because they are boring.

Nothing To See Here…

Bournemouth police just happen to trot along in line abreast over IWannaReferendum slogan outside Labour’s conference…

Time for Tactical Decisions from CCHQ and Cowley Street

The LibDems are getting pummelled in the polls – this morning a YouGov poll has them down another 3% to 13% with the Tories unchanged on 33%. Guido finds it hard to believe the accuracy of this poll – with

[…]

+ READ MORE +

Picture Imperfect

To pick up a media pass for the Conservative conference in Blackpool they specify that you have to bring photo-ID. Your face is not good enough?

[…]

+ READ MORE +

Basher Shoots Another Staff Member

Guido hasn’t found the body, but there is circumstantial evidence that yet another David Davis staff member has bitten the dust. Does anyone have an explanation for this puzzling phenomenon?

[…]

+ READ MORE +

Don’t Miss Dispatches Tonight on C4 at 8pm

Have just finished reading Peter Oborne’s new book The Triumph of the Political Class. It is a brilliant anatomisation of the reality of the contemporary situation. Guido is therefore looking forward to tonight’s exposé of the venality of our

[…]

+ READ MORE +



Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Chuka has been trying to spin the Siemens row:

Chuka Umunna: It’s no different from Sky News quoting a business leader.

Adam Boulton: Except yours says ‘VOTE LABOUR’ at the bottom.

Top Posts This Week

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.

Facebook

SMART METER PROGRAMME’S DIGITAL ACTIVITY WASTE SMART METER PROGRAMME’S DIGITAL ACTIVITY WASTE
MASK SLIPS FROM GREENPEACE ‘HEALTH CHARITY’ FRONT MASK SLIPS FROM GREENPEACE ‘HEALTH CHARITY’ FRONT
PM Gets Last Word On Thursday PM Gets Last Word On Thursday
FOXY BARONESS’ WEBSITE BORKED FOXY BARONESS’ WEBSITE BORKED
Labour: The Party of Benefits Labour: The Party of Benefits
GOVERNMENT DIGITAL SERVICE BEATS MICROSOFT INTO SUBMISSION GOVERNMENT DIGITAL SERVICE BEATS MICROSOFT INTO SUBMISSION

EUROPOL CHIEF: SNAPCHAT GREATEST TERRORIST THREAT EUROPOL CHIEF: SNAPCHAT GREATEST TERRORIST THREAT
Sky News Ballot Ballad Sky News Ballot Ballad
WATCH: UKIP Pledge Card Revealed WATCH: UKIP Pledge Card Revealed
Mini Wars Mini Wars
OZZIE NUMPTY EMAILS DAVID CAMERON’S PASSPORT NUMBER TO ASIAN FOOTBALLERS OZZIE NUMPTY EMAILS DAVID CAMERON’S PASSPORT NUMBER TO ASIAN FOOTBALLERS
Hell? Yes Hell? Yes
Cameron’s Last Speech in Downing Street (Before the Election) Cameron’s Last Speech in Downing Street (Before the Election)
Free Sun Advertising On the BBC Free Sun Advertising On the BBC
Downing Street Fighting Like Cats and Dogs Downing Street Fighting Like Cats and Dogs
Lucy Powell Falls Apart Under Questioning Lucy Powell Falls Apart Under Questioning
Feminist Jazz Hands Explained Feminist Jazz Hands Explained
WALTER MITTY CV OF ANTI-FRACKING CANDIDATE WALTER MITTY CV OF ANTI-FRACKING CANDIDATE
Cassetteboy v Cameron and Farage Cassetteboy v Cameron and Farage
MICROSOFT SHAKES DOWN PUBLIC SECTOR FOR DOSH MICROSOFT SHAKES DOWN PUBLIC SECTOR FOR DOSH
WATCH: Toby Young Skewers Labour Zero Hours Contract Attack Line WATCH: Toby Young Skewers Labour Zero Hours Contract Attack Line
MAIL TRICKED INTO QUOTING BATMAN FILM IN PLANE CRASH COVERAGE MAIL TRICKED INTO QUOTING BATMAN FILM IN PLANE CRASH COVERAGE
ANTI-FRACKING PARLIAMENTARY CANDIDATE WANTED TO WORK FOR FRACKERS ANTI-FRACKING PARLIAMENTARY CANDIDATE WANTED TO WORK FOR FRACKERS
Crick Gets Paxo’d Crick Gets Paxo’d
Cameron’s Secret A-List Cameron’s Secret A-List
Corrections and Clarifications: Brooks Newmark Corrections and Clarifications: Brooks Newmark
What is Wrong With the Lobby? What is Wrong With the Lobby?
Arrogant Bercow: “I’m Not Going Anywhere” Arrogant Bercow: “I’m Not Going Anywhere”
GOVERNMENT SHELLS OUT FOR PHOTO OF DEAD ZEBRA GOVERNMENT SHELLS OUT FOR PHOTO OF DEAD ZEBRA
DWP Press Office Wins the Internet DWP Press Office Wins the Internet