Summer Fashion Must Haves

Available now from Guido’s online merchandise store.
Well worth a tenner or so…

Download and listen to Jilted John’s Gordon is a Moron.MP3

Bet Wenger is Sorry Now

Guido has confirmed this with Ladbrokes: back in February Arsenal were the odds-on favourites to win Football’s Premier League title. In March Gordon held a summit with President Sarkozy at Arsenal’s Emirates stadium.

Many of Guido’s co-conspirators predicted that what has now come to pass would result. The curse of Jonah Brown hit Wenger’s boys in red as surely as if the PM himself had attended each and every match since.

The once-mighty Arsenal were beaten by Manchester United yesterday and are now out of the running for the Premier League title. They were doomed from the moment they agreed to let Gordon on to the pitch…

Rich & Mark’s Monday Morning View

Schrödinger’s Brown

Only quantum politics explains how Gordon Brown…

  • stands for being different from Blair and being the same
  • is going to leave and stay in Iraq
  • cuts the NHS and expands it
  • emits and cuts back CO2 emissions; is anti-green and pro-green
  • is regressive and progressive; right wing and left wing
  • will be at the Olympic games and not at them
  • was against and in favour of obtaining a mandate to govern the British people
  • wanted a referendum and opposes a referendum
  • was both at the Lisbon treaty ceremony and not at it
  • stands for more and less borrowing
  • has ended and started the boom and bust cycle.

Hat-tip : Deconvoluter

Friday Caption Contest (Cleggover)

Kick in the Balls

This is pretty addictive – a role playing game. Once you master the keyboard skills you (as Jack Straw) can head butt, kick, punch, round house, upper cut, right hook, elbow on jump on Ed Balls. The parliamentary web-servers are overloaded with players this morning…

This game has been produced by Her Majesty’s Official Opposition. The Guidoisation of democracy continues…

Why Do Brownies Like American Losers?

The rumour in PR Week that Stephen Carter wants Mark Penn to come over and advise Brown dumbfounds Guido. Penn, a pollster, was supposedly fired in disgrace from the Clinton campaign after he was found to be taking money to lobby against Hillary’s own policies. (It is all a bit of a sham, she doesn’t really believe in the policy, he isn’t really fired). He hasn’t exactly proved to be the wisest of counsels to Clinton has he? Clearly he will be perfect for Brown.

Gordon has fallen out with Bob Shrum, the unrivalled adviser to 8 losing Democratic Party presidential campaigns. Shrum was last seen at Heathrow, fleeing the country after a bollocking from an ungrateful Brown.

Still, the payments he picked up via the Smith Institute during his time as an adviser to Brown will cushion his hurt…

What Has David Pitt-Watson Got to Lose?

Something is troubling Guido’s suspicious mind about the new explanation for David Pitt-Watson not taking up the post of General Secretary of the Labour Party.

According to the Brownies, as communicated via the usually reliable medium on these matters, Ben Brogan’s blog;

The new general secretary is said to be worried about the state of the party’s finances and the rules that say his personal assets could be forfeit if the party goes into liquidation. Mr Brown counters that it would never happen so the problem doesn’t arise, but has reluctantly given Mr P-W time to sort his personal finances in order and put his wealth (described to me as “low millions”) beyond reach.

Now the only way this could be done is for him to divest himself of his assets into some kind of unbreakable trust of which he was not a beneficiary. Would Gordon countenance the future General Secretary of a party mired in financial scandals involving proxy donors and illegal donations doing something that would be perceived by some as questionable? And to take all the time he likes about it? Which direction is that on the moral compass?

How many millions has the new General Secretary of the Labour Party got to put beyond reach? Well his NW5 home is probably worth a little short of £2 million. He worked for a few years at Hermes on the asset management side where he remains a director of two of their funds as well as Oxford Analytica and our old friends the IPPR. So low millions seems about right.

He was in 1997 a director of two Labour Party controlled limited liability companies, Labour Party Properties Limited and Labour Nominees Limited. Perhaps he would rather the Labour Party itself was a limited liability entity? Maybe. Certainly some are speculating along those lines. Hard to see how the party could be re-configured on that basis without the unanimous agreement of all the creditors and a vote at the party conference. There is no way that the Co-op Bank could, bearing in mind its fiduciary duties, accept such a change.

Something isn’t quite right here. Remember that originally Downing Street spin, by which we mean lies, that DPW was tied up by contractual commitments? This new line still doesn’t make any sense. Guido has a hunch that the truth is as originally reported. To Gordon’s tantrum-ridden horror, DPW simply doesn’t really want the job…

Boris is Right, Tories Wrong. London Should Be a Shining City

Anyone who believes in free markets and free trade has to believe as a corollary in the free movement of people. Guido is the son of immigrants who came from Ireland and India to London in the 1950s and 1960s […]

+ READ MORE +

Gordon Begs and Rages at Gen-Sec Elect "Don’t Walk Away"

Guido has previously speculated about whether or not the Labour Party was actually legally solvent. It is noticeable that loan after loan has fallen due and not been repaid. The money has been rolled over, reportedly with some reluctance by

[…]

+ READ MORE +

Brown Dithers Over OlympicsNow Not Going, but Not Boycotting Either

Two weeks ago the line from Downing Street was:

THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

LONDON – British Prime Minister Gordon Brown says Britain will not boycott the opening ceremonies for the Beijing Olympics.

After being humiliated by

[…]

+ READ MORE +

Charles Clarke Cashes In

Charles Clarke has been given a position by KPMG. Which is nice of them, it is of course entirely unrelated to the millions of pounds of contracts he gave when he was Secretary of State at the Department of Education

[…]

+ READ MORE +



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