Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Davis Supporters Advised to Lie

Wat Tyler over at the David Davis for Leader blog is becoming ever more desperate. In the Basher Bunker Blog its becoming bleak, allegations abound that the Tory establishment, MPs and the press are conspiring against his hero.

His plan to outwit the media conspiracy has a certain Blackadderesque cunning about it. He advises Davis supporters at the hustings to lie:

If you’re asked on the way in by a reporter who you support, say “undecided”. On the way out, find the same reporter and say “I was undecided, but now it’s definitely Davis.” And make your way round as many other reporters as possible with the same message.

If you feel confident, try the DC/DD conversion variant- “It was Cameron, but now it’s definitely Davis.”

Clearly Wat’s is a love that dare not speak its name. A little advice Wat, when advising on a covert, media manipulation strategy, don’t put it on a public blog…

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

A Councillor Writes:

“Whilst there were lots of tee shirted Cameron supporters at yesterday’s hustings in Leicester, it is not true to say that DD supporters were unrepresented, as the attached photo proves.” So writes councillor Graham Smith in an email. Just to show that Guido is being even handed, here on the left is the picture Graham sent and another pinched off ConservativeHome.com. Both show t-shirted supporters of the respective campaigns. Happy now?

The Stupid Party

The evidence.

Davis Not Tired, Not Downhearted

Basher Davis is full of energy and fight, as you can see from this picture taken yesterday. Basher’s campaign team (when not getting lost in Leicester) is spinning that he is winning the battle of the hustings. But on the ground the evidence is that he has a distinct lack of campaigners. Young Cameron supporters in t-shirts greet hustings attendees, whereas Basher’s campaign desperately text-message requests for help with leafleting. Where are the troops with “DD for Me” emblazoned across their bust? Guido has registered on the Davis campaign website and enjoys receiving regular text messages – including pleas for help on the ground with the campaign. Chaps – Guido is doing all he can.

Paid Message

Wonk for Sale : This feature is in danger of becoming almost exclusively about Demos, but they really are the rent-a-wonks of the think-tank world. Their new seminar report “Mobilising Public Services” is about the brave new Blairite world of public services. From it Guido learns that the “mobile phone is the ultimate personal device“. Gems of insight like this must be worth the money mobile phone company 02 paid. Well that and recommending that local government uses text messages to communicate with citizens. 02 makes millions from text messaging…

Monday, November 14, 2005

Davis Supporters Downhearted

Hague coming out for Cameron seems to have mortally undermined the spirit of Wat Tyler over at David Davis for Leader. Nothing before has put him off his enthusiasm, polls that gave Cameron as much as a 4 to 1 lead were dismissed as faulty, polls that gave him a mere 2 to 1 lead were also faulty. Now he talks about Cameron’s shadow-cabinet choices, the prospect of Tory show-trials in the search for a Clause 4 Moment. Its all so very depressing for Wat.

The Hague endorsement follows on the heels of Doc Fox’s prescription for Cameron, Clarke’s begrudging endorsement of wonder-boy as well as the media falling in behind Cameron. The Daily Mail’s endorsement was unexpected, but the Indy, Economist and Sunday Times were in the bag. The FT fell in when Clarke fell out of the race. The Toryraph is holding its vote, but you can bet that the Torygraph will give its blessing eventually. Boris at the The Speccie endorsed Cameron early and often, made him Parliamentarian of the Year and generally grovelled for a shadow-cabinet job.

It seems almost cruel to drag this out for another month, but the hustings may yet possibly produce some upsets. Expect tough “spontaneous” questions from the rank and file remnants of Basher’s support. Never mind, Wat can cheer himself up by looking forward to our pre-Christmas meal at Simpsons, the bill for which increasingly looks like being his…

Friday, November 11, 2005

As Thatcher Looked Down…

Paxman really gave it to Basher, who to his credit, did not lose his cool under fire. It was brutal, but fun to watch. Cameron gets the same treatment Thursday…

Day 5 : Free the Willets One

Have received a note from David Dimbleby that David Willets (what is with all the Davids in politics nowadays?) will be on Question Time next week.

This could be the breakthrough we are looking for – a freed Two Brains could explain Basher’s tax policy to us. He will, admittedly, possibly have been brainwashed in captivity. But this could be fascinating…

Police Deny Politicisation

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Taliban Timmy’s Tory Test

God be with you blog readers! Guido has taken the afternoon off, hopefully to repent his papist ways. God willing, I will be your blogger today. The Tory leadership candidates have agreed to answer my questions today. I am testing their fidelity to Montgomeria law. God be praised that they have compassionately agreed to go along with me for fear of losing votes.

First question for the blessed Davids : Will you introduce the death penalty for hashish fiends, opium den runners and white slave traders?
DC: No.
DD : Yes, and more than that, a Davis government will bring back public flogging of petty thieves and stoning for adulterers.
Second question for the exulted Davids : Do you believe that sex outside marriage is wrong?
DC: No.
DD : Depends what you mean by wrong, its not a, err, hanging offence, but its inadvisable. A healthy marriage to a blonde, sorry errm, a brunette, is all a man needs.
Third question for the honourable Davids : Are test tube babies Satan’s spawn?
DC: No.
DD : We have to look at the errm evidence, but if errr scientists or satanists are making babies we have to make sure we have a framework to deal with them in a firm, but compassionate way.
Fourth question for esteemed Davids : Are you a prophet who can see into the future ten years hence?
DC: No.
DD : Certainly, and my tax policy is based on the clear ability to determine macro-economic variables a decade ahead. That is the difference, the err clear blue errr water, with respect, between young Cameron and me, substantive policy from me, substance abuse from him. But I don’t want to bring that up. Just let me mention, gratuitously, that I grew up on a council estate.
Fifth final fun question : Women in Burqas or Hijabs?
DC: No.
DD : Blondes with double-D tits for me.

That’s it true believers, after unbiased consideration of the answers and careful study of our Taliban-O-Meter, which has now swung hard to the right, its Fox Davis for me.

This is Taliban Timmy wishing you all the blessings of the Tory-Taliban-Lite.

Pakol tip : Tim Montgomerie


Seen Elsewhere

How Mervyn King Lost Bank Battle War | WSJ
BBC Corporation Tax Horror Story | IEA
Sally Bercow Judgement in Full | Mr Justice Tugendhat
Commies Blame Capitalism For Terror Attack | The Commentator
Lord Black v Press Regulation | Guardian
Osborne’s Complacency | FT
DWP’s Welfare Failings | Isabel Hardman
Get Used to Coalitions | David Aaronovitch
Woolwich a Showcase in the Banality of Evil | Fraser Nelson
The Enemy Within | Max Hastings
Muslim Led Military-Style Free School Needed | Toby Young


Zimbabwe-Election-125x125
Guido-hot-button (1)


Ed Balls stretches credulity by claiming he isn’t ambitious

“I would love to be part of Ed’s Labour government but what I do next for me is not an all-consuming passion. I’m more bothered, in a personal sense, about getting to grade 8 piano by the time I’m 50.”



Ned Flanders – Clegg
Lisa Simpson – Natalie Bennett
Milhouse – Hilary Benn
Martin Prince – Andy Burnham
Edna Krabappel – Luciana Berger
Crazy Cat Lady – Glenda jackson
Comic book guy – John Prescott
Carl – Chucka
Lenny – Philip Hammond
Willie – Eric joyce
Poochie – Gordon Brown
Reverend Lovejoy – Tony Blair


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