Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Gordon Emails Wendi in New York

Guido has got this before it appears in PR Week:

Last week Downing Street functionaries were asked by Gordon to switch off auto-complete on his email software. It turned out that our early morning emailing PM had accidentally emailed Wendi Deng, also known as Mrs Rupert Murdoch.

Easy mistake to make, but Mrs Murdoch doesn’t really have much interest in Scottish politics. No doubt she is a little better informed now…

Pundits Think SNP Could Take Glasgow East

The punditry can get a little carried away, less than a year ago they thought Gordon could walk on water, now they think he is a millstone around Labour’s neck. 65% of the “insider panel” on PoliticsHome reckons the SNP will win Glasgow East. Guido is amazed that they think the SNP can catch up from 43.7% behind. That would be phenomenal…

Guido is sceptical, but Brown is such a Jonah,* you never know…

*Oil is up some $10 since he went to beg the sheiks to cut their profits. In a result reminiscent of the New Deal for Youth that resulted in higher youth unemployment, the plan to build millions of new homes has resulted in the lowest number of houses being built since World War II. God really hates this accursed one-eyed, son of the manse, Prime Mentalist.

Monday, June 30, 2008

Gordon Droned Mandela Out

The rumour swirling around the hospitality enclosure at the Mandela concert on Friday night was that Brown charmlessly went straight in hard with talk of Zimbabwe and the Africa summit (according to a security source). Mandela turned to his wife and entourage saying he was tired and should leave almost as soon as Brown arrived to sit with him.
As the balcony was well lit for the TV cameras, concert goers could see from the floor that Brown was sat alone well before the end of the gig. Mandela was said to be exhausted, being 90 and having just delivered a speech in front of thousands. So he left Gordon.

Hence the cosy pictures of Mandela with his feet up with Dave, but none such with the Prime Mentalist…

Friday Competition Winners

A record 326 competition entries, if indeed some of them could be dignified with that description. Guido could not make his mind up on a single winner, as usual most entries were crap and obvious. Anyway the three that tickled Guido’s jaded and twisted sense of humour were:

SACKERSON said…

At that point I said, now tell me the truth about you and Carol.

idle said…

Cherie Birkin, QC:

“blahmutterblahmutter COCKTAIL PARTY AT THE INNS OF COURT blahblahmutter PUBLIC-SCHOOL TYPE blahblahblah LOOKED AT ME IN A MOST SUGGESTIVE FASHION muttermutterblah ANYWAY, blahblah I SAW MY CHANCE OF SOCIAL ADVANCEMENT blahmuttermutterblah SO I CRADLED HIS TESTICLES IN MY HAND JUST LIKE THIS mutterblahmuttermutter AND HE EXPLODED LIKE A CHINESE FIREWORK!

I’M AFRAID TO SAY I WAS VERY, VERY DRUNK……”

Oscar said…

Fuck me. It looks like she’s trying to whistle.

Email Guido with your address(es), and a copy of John Laughland’s A History of Political Trials: From Charles I to Saddam Hussein will be sent Royal Mail…

The winners are truly one(s) in a hundred…

Balls Gets Clap

The Thomas Cubitt bar off Eaton Square, Belgravia, is a favourite of hedge fund managers and girls who want to marry them (or failing that, Prince Harry). Guido can particularly recommend the 1988 Chateau Rauzan-Ségla Margaux at £120 a bottle and the 1999 Louis Roederer Cristal at £190 for your mistress.

Exactly the kind of establishment you would expect to find Ed Balls frequenting – after all unlike the rest of us he does not have to worry about higher mortgage payments – we pay his for him. Last week he was in the Cubitt and the hedgies resentfully ignored him encroaching onto their territory. Until it was that it was time for him to leave; when he stood up the room gave him a slow hand-clap. Ed’s blink rate increased as he attempted to make a dignified exit.

He is rumoured to be a possible replacement for Alistair Darling at the Treasury. Clearly not something that will please the City’s moneymen….

Rich & Mark’s Monday Morning View

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Exclusive : Indy Owner Profits from Mugabe Poster Advertising

The Indy on Sunday frontpages a tenuous story about MPs owning shares in companies like Barclays that do business in Zimbabwe. Hypocritically, the Indy’s parent company, Independent News & Media PLC, owns 100% of CCI, which according to the corporation’s own website “is the largest and fastest-growing outdoor advertising company in South Africa, with significant operations in Angola, Botswana, Lesotho, Malawi, Mauritius, Mozambique, Namibia, Swaziland, Tanzania, Uganda, Zambia and Zimbabwe.”

So the Indy’s owner actually made money from Mugabe’s poster advertising campaign for the election. Stick that on your front page…

UPDATE : A co-conspirator points out that Baroness Jay and Ken Clarke are non-execs on the board of INM plc. In Baroness Jay’s case it seems particularly difficult to reconcile her chairmanship of the Overseas Development Institute with personally profiting from the firm that profits from Mugabe’s election advertising campaigns.

Sunday Sleaze Round-Up

Guido has introduced a simple Pigs in Shit rating system for guidance on the misdemeanors of porcine politicians (guide here). Post links in the comments.

MPs Cashing in on Zimbabwe’s Misery

Totally disingenuous headline in the Indy on Sunday. The Tory MPs own shares in multi-national corporations that do business in Zimbabwe. Which means the majority of the country with a pension plan or a Barclays bank account is guilty on the terms set by the Indy. Nil pigs.

Spelman Faces Fresh RevelationsSky

CPS Study Abrahams ‘Dodgy’ Donations Dossier from PoliceSky

It ain’t over until it is over.

MEPs’ Champagne ‘Study Days’ Cost Taxpayer £200,000 – Sunday Times

Champagne swilling luxury junket taking the piss out of taxpayers as per normal.

How MPs Claim for a Second HomeSunday Telegraph

Simple explanation of the mechanics of the fiddle.

Wintertons to Cost Taxpayers Thousands More on New Flat - Mail on Sunday

Continuing tale of the troughing Tory twosome. Why don’t they live in their own now mortgage-free luxury flat? The taxpayer has bought it for them and fitted it out already. They are a troughing disgrace.

Labour Mired in Sleaze Claims as Scots Leader Quits and MPs are Accused of Homes Tax-DodgeMail on Sunday

Scottish Leader and Scottish MP go in disgrace.

‘Over 100 MPs’ in Multi-Million Tax Dodge Over Second HomesMail on Sunday
A specific capital gains dodge used by the likes of James Purnell and many others.

Scots Labour Leader ‘Confident of Being Cleared’ after ResigningMail on Sunday
No chance Wendy.

Marshall in Shock Resignation after Rumours Over ExpensesMail on Sunday
End of the gravy train for one MP.

Saturday, June 28, 2008

The Letter That Sealed Wendy’s Fate

click to enlarge
Back in November Guido had the exclusive scoop and was the first to publish this letter,* saying it would mean Wendy Alexander was toast. This personal note to Paul Green (dated October 5) showed that her telling the media that the first time she knew about his personal donation was 1 pm the previous day was simply untrue.

Paul Green also admitted that he gave two personal cheques of £950 which would have put him over the £1000 barrier and shown he was an impermissible offshoredonor.

Guido predicted that “there is no wriggle room. She is on the hook completely”. So it turned out, eventually.


*N.B. Incidentally, Guido was accused by Labour supporters of forging the letter.

GuyNews : Unhappy Anniversary Gordon

Guido could not let the first anniversary of the Brown regime pass without comment. This video captures the prevailing popular contempt for Gordon.

See “Gordon Frown” on GuyNews.TV.


Seen Elsewhere

Tories: Ruffley Critics are ‘Minority Feminist Groups’ | Buzzfeed
Harriet Harman Offers Less Than the Living Wage | Owen Bennett
Fallon’s Red Arrow Spin Unravels | Wings Over Scotland
What is the LibDems’ Problem With “The Jews” | Speccie
Image is the Least of Ed’s Worries | Speccie
The Most Politically Cynical Speech I Have Ever Seen | Dan Hodges
Full Sunday Sport Style Guide Email | MediaGuido
What if a Hamas Rocket Hit a BA Plane? | Richard Littlejohn
Sunday Sport Swearing Style Guide | Popbitch
Tory MP’s Love of Astrology | BBC
No.10 Shouldn’t Get Excited at Growth Figures | Mark Wallace


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New Foreign Secretary Philip Hammond has big ambitions in his first meeting with Benjamin Netanyahu today:

“I came to bring this conflict to an end.”



Christie Malry @fcablog

Ed Miliband does photo oops, not photo ops


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