Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Brogan’s Boob Blogging

The Daily Mail’s politicial editor, Ben Brogan has a very dry blog, read widely in the Westminster Village. It has never had much of a popular following for some reason. Here however is his excellent report on the flight arrangements for the PM’s visit to Tokyo. Guido welcomes his more populist style…

Jonah Goes to Japan

Lands Monday, Earthquake richter scale 6 hits Tuesday. His life is like a disaster movie…

Downing Street Still Not Listening

There was a lot of talk when David Muir was appointed from WPP that he would turn the Prime Mentalist into a digital leader superior to WebCameron. Advertising “guru” Muir even wrote a paean to the power of YouTube in his WPP days. The YouTube “Ask the PM” initiative was presumably his idea – dozens of people have asked the PM, with no answers despite them being promised and now well overdue.

Things actually seem to be getting worse on the digital front. If you are unable to get an answer from Downing Street’s YouTube channel emailing the Prime Minister should be easy – that was set up during Blair’s time. Alas, for weeks now Gordon’s public email has been out of order:

This service has been temporarily suspended for maintenance work. Don’t worry, we are still accepting faxes and letters, and you can still let us know your opinions via an epetition or on our new Twitter service.

We apologise for any inconvenience caused. We hope to be back up and running in a few days.

23 June 2008

Maintenence work for email? Eh? Basically Downing Street, digitally speaking, is in broadcast-only mode. They can send you messages, but you can’t tell them anything. A metaphor for the bigger picture…

Monday, July 7, 2008

C’mon Harriet, Your Country Needs You!

It has really come to something when Harriet Harman taking control of the country seems like a good idea. Guido really does believe we have a psychologically flawed prime minister lacking a strong grasp of reality. Gordon is an embarrassing disaster, the government is paralysed, ministers basically just want him to go, backbench MPs want him to go, Labour Party activists want him to go, Labour voters think he is a crap PM. He has led his party to its lowest point in history. He is the most despised PM since polling began. Gordon Brown is just no good. Harriet can’t be worse. Can she?

Mike Smithson has put money on her, The Times and the Daily Mail say she is discreetly taking soundings. If Glasgow falls can she find the support of 70 MPs or perhaps a majority of Labour Party members at the September party conference? She might, the situation is that dire…

So What is Gordon Eating Today?

As his government directs the people to cut back and eat crusts, Gordon will be eating today:

The food is being prepared by one of Japan’s Michelin starred chefs. Still Guido would advise gourmet Gordon to go easy on the salt-grilled bighand thornyhead. Particularly appropriate that the Prime Mentalist is eating G8 fantasy dessert.

Hain Brought to Book

The news that Peter Hain is working on a biography of Nelson Mandela is very disappointing. Guido was hoping that Hain, who already has a criminal conviction for conspiracy, might start work on a follow-up to his 1984 book, Political Trials in Britain (still available on Amazon.)

There should be an opportunity to update it with topical first hand reports. That is if the CPS decides, for once, to prosecute a politician who breaks the law. Scotland Yard has handed over the file to the CPS. Just to re-cap, over a hundred thousand pounds was mysteriously laundered through a slush fund called the Progressive Policies Forum. Nobody had heard of this before and none of the donations were declared. Steve Morgan his campaign manager blames everyone else, Hain blames him. We all eagerly await their day in Court…

Let Them Eat Crusts

Fresh from saving the world by getting Marks and Sparks to charge for plastic bags, Gordon’s latest encomium to “eat your crusts” strikes Guido as sub-Majoresque style cones-line floundering. That is the kind of thing Guido tells 3 year-old Ms Fawkes.

One of Guido’s co-conspirators puts it very well

Zimbabwe in crisis. Iraq still a mess. Iran developing nuclear weapons. Roads system approaching gridlock. Filthy hospitals killing people. House prices collapse. Economy in meltdown. Treasury demoralised. Banks propped up by state money. Auditors say Government is fiddling national accounts.

What then does the PM choose to focus on? Why, a lot of it is all our fault. We are throwing away too much food that could be eaten.

Thank you Gordon. Your intellectual prowess is astounding. The scales have fallen from my eyes. Now I see it. Owing to the butterfly effect in chaos theory, that mouldy carrot in my kitchen has precipitated a global ecenomic crisis. That jar of pasta sauce just past its sell by date may be the key to our salvation – nay may even save the world.

Thanks Gordon, what would we do without you.

Quite.

Marr Gets All Aggressive

The Indy this morning has an interview with Andrew Marr, this passage made Guido laugh:
“I can be exceedingly aggressive when I want to be,” he says, claiming that encounters with Gordon Brown and Alistair Darling on his Sunday morning BBC1 programme, The Andrew Marr Show, “were as aggressive as any interview you will have seen for a long time”.

Yes we all remember that aggression when a nervous Gordon Brown gave him an exclusive interview immediately post Gordon’s attempted coup d’ etat and was a crucial opportunity to get to the truth. Gordon’s fingerprints were all over it, he was clearly lying about his knowledge of, and attitude to it. He had even met Tom Watson on the eve of the putsch. It was clear for all to see and Gordon was in difficulties. Nick Robinson, Paxman or Andrew Neil could have crucified Brown, Frost would have ambushed him silkily. Even Ant and Dec would probably have scored a goal. What did Marr do? This pathetic interview was the political equivalent of fellatio. Marr had an open goal yet Gordon left smiling and relieved.

It was hardly a fearsome interrogation that revealed Gordon would not be having an election., more a summons for an official communique delivered by Marr (see picture above). The eve of premiership biopic in Kirkcaldy was more soft-focus than hard questions was hardly aggressive. Marr may now regret being a patsy, but that is what he was, so spare us the false claims to aggression Andy. The reason he is Brown’s preferred interlocutor is not because Brown is courageous…

N.B. Guido’s favourite Rich and Mark’s cartoon featuring ol’ Jug Ears is here.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Rich & Mark’s Monday Morning View

One Year Ago Today

“I will be strong in purpose, steadfast in will, resolute in action in the service of what matters to the British people.”
Gordon Brown

Seen Elsewhere

Don’t Underestimate Philip Hammond | Nick Wood
Labour Council Collaborates With Pro-Hamas Group | Breitbart
Qatar Sugar-Daddies of Islamist Financing | Left Foot Forward
Guido’s Column | Sun
Miliband Drawing Attention to His Mistakes is Madness | Lord Bell
Another Renewable Myth Goes Up in Smoke | Matt Ridley
Ed’s Problem is His Policies | Trevor Kavanagh
Ed’s Image is All He Has Going For Him | Boris
Labour a Risk to the Economy and Jobs Growth | Leo McKinstry
UKIP Will Make Miliband PM | Tele
Tories: Ruffley Critics are ‘Minority Feminist Groups’ | Buzzfeed


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New Foreign Secretary Philip Hammond has big ambitions in his first meeting with Benjamin Netanyahu today:

“I came to bring this conflict to an end.”



Christie Malry @fcablog

Ed Miliband does photo oops, not photo ops


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