Guy Fawkes' blog of parliamentary plots, rumours and conspiracy

Wednesday, February 1, 2006

Prince Harry to Fight in Iraq

Just like his father fought in the first Gulf War. A proud tradition.

Ex-Coronation Street star Adam Rickitt will be on Question Time tomorrow on his way to joining the A-list and becoming a Tory MP. He is not expected to join the Cornerstone Group. Mrs Fawkes reckons he’ll make a good member.

No news yet as to if Britain’s greatest vote winner intends to apply for the A-list now she has left the Z-list. She undoubtedly has the proven ability to win elections against left-wing MPs and she qualifies on all the key criteria; media-savvy, from a non-traditional background which reflects modern Britain, young and attractive. Guido is of course referring to Chantelle. Essex girls are über-Thatcherites, she can win them back, are you listening CCHQ?

Galloway Backed Blair, Oaten Saved the Day

Oaten showed what he is made of, and voted against the government. Credit where credit is due, mind you since his wife is “off skiing with the kids” he might as well go to work, it is after all, a big job.

Galloway, the dictator’s friend, voted against freedom of speech and for the restoration of the caliphate.

Full voting list here and here.

Reshuffle Rumours

The knives were out late last night and many were ready to offer Hilary Armstrong’s head on a silver plate to Blair (who was having an early night). The truth is that now Blair is entering his John Major phase it will be impossible to whip a fundamentally rebellious Labour party, aided and abetted by Tory/LibDem tactics.

We have been due a reshuffle since Blunkett went in early November, the accompanying narrative will all be about the direction of Brownies and Blairites on the greasy pole. Bring it on.

UPDATE : Cameron was merciless towards her at PMQs, she looked like she had swallowed a lemon. To add to the whip’s office’s woes, the speaker told off another Labour whip for barracking Cameron. Cameron jumped on that with a crack at the whip’s expense.

Hemming : The Lost Leader

Exclusive: he had the nominations, and we name the names.
Tonight, the podcast, “Hemming – The Lost Leader”
Guido and the Monkey drink with John Hemming, LibDem legend.
Also PMQs, the LibDem leadership and some drunk stuff.

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Kiss Guido’s Politically Incorrect Arse

Looks like it will be another six-figure month here in the cellar at www.Order-Order.com:

click to enlarge

On the day they protest outside parliament against jokes becoming illegal, Guido is pleased to boast that despite upsetting a few of the most po-faced bloggers, this blog is still as popular as ever. Guido was found guilty of thoughtcrimes by the pc-blogosphere-inquisition and yet, infuriatingly, his readership remains loyal. You have to laugh at their ultimate sanction and know: they would have removed Voltaire from their blogrolls.

Darbyshires Endorse Whuhne

Let’s see if he lists them as his supporters. And finally, in other news they are adopting a cat.

Killed in Iraq : 100Funerals Attended by Blair : 0Wounded Visited by Blair : 0

Blair Heir : Picture Exclusive

Tory Confidence and Confidentiality

MORI in the FT yesterday has some 31% of respondents satisfied with Cameron’s performance, while 17% got no satisfaction. This gives a “net satisfied” rating of +14%. A figure identical to the satisfaction rating achieved by Blair two months after he became Labour leader. It is light-years ahead of what William Hague, Iain Duncan Smith and Michael Howard scored two months into their leaderships. Blair currently scores –21%.

The majority of LibDem voters (53%) say they are satisfied with the new Tory leader and just 14% are dissatisfied, a whopping +39% score. (Mind you, according to ICM, 39% of Lib Dems would like Charlie back.) Even among Labour voters, the score for Cameron is +4%, which is actually better than Blair scores with all voters.

CCHQ readers: Could a co-conspirator, for a laugh, send Guido a copy of the confidentiality agreement Conservative Party employees at CCHQ are being advised to sign. Usual email or fax 0709 201 2337.