Monday, May 11, 2009

Self Censorship at The Times

This is deliciously amusing.  Guido’s Wapping co-conspirator is laughing and asking

Why has a regular Times T2 columnist had a piece called ‘How Not To Spend It’, which was due to be published today, pulled by The Times. The reason? Might be sensitive, given MPs spending habits. The columnist?

Could it be that the columnist is Sarah Vine?  Also known as Mrs Gove…

Alan Duncan is Stretching Things

Alan Duncan is going round telling broadcasters that he was the first MP to publish his receipts online and has always supported transparency. Go to his website and there is nothing published there about his expenses.

Eh?  Guido called his office for an explanation.  Tory HQ calls back with a load of waffle.  He did, but he doesn’t now, it was published on an old website blah, blah, blah.  When we get down to it, and Guido is reasonably certain about this, Alan Duncan did not publish his receipts for expenses.  He merely published the annual totals.  The same unrevealing annual expenditure totals published by the Fees Office for the last five years.  So we didn’t discover from his “transparency” anything we can’t now get from the parliamentary website.  Spin and bluster…

UPDATE : According to this archive Alan told us:

Additional Costs Allowance – Expenses Incurred by Staying in London
In line with parliamentary allowances, Alan claims £19,722 per year to cover the costs of maintaining a second home.

Not very informative or transparent is it?

Sleaze Meter Poll Looks Bad for Blears

PoliticsHome polled its PHI100 panel of Westminster insiders for their assessment this morning and on a scale of zero to 100 Hazel came out worst. Is this reallynot just a factor of visibility? Blears has behaved disgracefully, but twice as bad as the next sleaziest government minister? Hoon’s sleaziness seems grossly underestimated…

PoliticsHome Sleazemeter

Q. How Many Expense Claims Does it Take to Change a Light Bulb?

Two BrainsA. One.  According to a claim made by “two brains” David Willets.

In the great scheme of things £100 for a workman to change 25 lightbulbs is trivial.  What it does highlight is the undeserved sense of entitlement that politicians have.  Whereas even a DIY dummy like Guido manages to change his own lightbulbs, politicians don’t need to worry about such trivia.  They just charge it to the taxpayer.

Until that culture changes and politicians realise taxpayers are their masters not their benefactors we will continue to have a parliament of petty pick-pockets. Our pockets…


Sleaze Deluge Delays Guido’s Hoon Guide

Hoon's Flipping FiddlesThe promised guide to how to become a millionaire in politics has been delayed in order to incorporate a lot more information. Don’t worry it will be published, but it will be a lot more comprehensive than Guido first envisaged.

To be frank, Guido is being overwhelmed with sleaze.  Dirt which has to be checked out, it all takes time.  Wouldn’t want to give a fiddling politician the opportunity to sue over a mistake…

All Sorry Now

Dave said sorry last night, Alan Duncan said earlier this morning “every MP must apologise for what has arisen over time”.  Gordon has just jumped on the apology bandwagon:

“I want to apologise on behalf of politicians, on behalf of all parties for what has happened in the events of these last few days. I want to assure you…we must have the highest standards for our profession.”

Politics is not a profession Gordon, it is a racket, and this has been going on for decades not days.  Guido won’t believe they are sorry until they pay back the money they have embezzled.  Then they will be really sorry…

Gordon Has His Own Powder Puff

Make UpThe Sun has got hold of  Gordon’s fashion tips.  According to a leaked typed guide sheet for the Prime Mentalist, his personal routine is;

1. Transparent Brush. Foam all over.

2. Small pot under eyes, dimple, creases, blend in.

3. Clinique. Super balanced make-up. All over again, like painting a wall, and ears. Shut eyes over lids then with make-up pad smooth over liquid.

4. Powder (dark brush) terracotta Guerlain, all over.

The mystery of  how Gordon ended up with a big orange blob on his forehead is solved…

Rich & Mark’s Monday Morning View

Two Shits Prescott

Sunday, May 10, 2009

+++ Letwin Claimed for Tennis Court ++++++ Maude Flipped Property +++

UPDATE : Story is now up on Telegraph site.

Story Guido didn’t already have: Andrew Lansley renovating a property just before flogging it and flipping for another.  Chris Grayling claiming £100,000 for council flat story is an old one done here before.  Maude story was on Channel 4’s Dispatches a few weeks ago.

Doesn’t exactly fill you with confidence that as soon as they get their bums into the ministerial limos they won’t start troughing away.

+++ Cameron Expected to Make Statement Tonight +++

UPDATE : Cameron basically said it was a bad day for the Conservative Party and he was sorry.


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