Sunday, February 8, 2009

Labour Sleaze : "Second Home Secretary" is on the Take

The Mail on Sunday has caught Jacqui Smith, the Home Secretary, fiddling her expenses to the tune of £116,000 – bang to rights.
  • She claims her “main home” is the one she stays in when in London – except it belongs to her sister.
  • She claims her “second home” is the home she owns in her constituency. However her own official website says she and her family live there.
Her SpAd claims “It has been cleared by the Commons Fees Office.” The Fees Office don’t clear anything, they take an “Honourable” Member’s word. The property records indicate sole-ownership of the property she claims is her “main home” is in her sister’s name. If she is in fact merely lodging with her sister, who is pocketing the taxpayer’s £500-a-week tax free? Can we have a Home Secretary who steals £116,000 from the taxpayers?

UPDATE : Don’t forget her husband is also on the payroll (£40,000) doing “research” – when he isn’t sending letters supporting her to the local paper – without mentioning his financial and marital relationship.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

LBC Get Wikileaked

Guido loves Wikileaks. They are like a risk management tool for bloggers. Ben Goldacre of Bad Science blog hosted an MP3 excerpt of an LBC show where a presenter, Jeni Barnett, gave an “irresponsible, ill-informed, and ignorant anti-vaccination campaigning that I have ever heard on the public airwaves.” MMR jabs are a subject of intense debate in the Fawkes household. Mrs Fawkes is in the don’t-care-if-it-is-irrational camp, consequently Guido is in the forced-to-cough-up-£300-for-single-shots camp.

LBC threatened to sue Ben Goldacre for breach of copyright.* Big mistake. He took it down and in his place others put it back online. It has probably now been heard online by more people than originally heard it broadcast. Download it via Wikileaks (MP3).

Distributed defiance of lawyers is something the Dead-Tree-Press can’t do. Bloggers are the free press.

*In any event Guido is under the impression that damages in copyright cases are limited to the financial loss caused by the breach of copyright, which in this case would presumably be very limited.

Johnson : We Have Only Wasted 1/4 of the Money

The Tories have announced they plan a spending cap on IT projects in view of the NHS super-computer disaster, where the budget has gone from £2 billion to £13 billion. Which is a complete joke considering that is more than Google will spend on research and development. The charge of waste must be hitting home, if this report from a co-conspirator is anything to go by:
I shared a train carriage today with Alan Johnson. He was having a loud telephone conversation overheard by the whole carriage telling everyone how worried he was the Tories would attack them over the lack of progress and tax payers money spent on the new computer system for the NHS. “We have only actually spent £3 billion, rather than the £12 billion we planned, so taxpayers are actually getting value for money….” were his very words.

On that basis the last charge of the light brigade was not a complete military failure, since some of the calvarymen survived.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Gordon’s Other Eye in Downing Street

Jeremy Clarkson has apologised for mocking Gordon Brown’s appearance – note he did not apologise for calling him an idiot. So the matter is closed says a Downing Street spokesman.

Guido can’t help wondering if the person who chose to hang David Austen’s “Green Electric Morning – Eye” picture from the National Art Collection on the wall in Downing Street might also be having a laugh.

Wonder what Gordon thinks of it everytime he spies the eye out of the side of his one good eye?

Perhaps he uses it as a target for his Nokias?

Tax Justice Protest Against Guardian Tax Dodging

Tax Justice campaigners had a small demonstration outside the Guardian’s offices today to protest at the hypocrisy of the Guardian campaigning for FTSE 100 companies to pay more corporation tax when, despite GMG making £300 million in profits last year, it paid none itself. GMG took advantage of a perfectly legal loophole to avoid paying taxes on the capital gains made on the sale of Auto Trader. Without exploiting the law they would have had to pay more than £50 million in tax!

The campaigners also highlighted that as well as being adept tax avoiders nowadays, the Guardian’s heritage is one of tax evasion. The Trust that owns the paper, the C P Scott Trust, was set up for the sole purpose of avoiding death duties following the 1932 death of C P Scott. By depriving the revenue of its due, the Scott family succeeded in avoiding the heavy taxes which would have otherwise meant them selling their interest in the paper. Neat dodge, eh? What did the Guardian say about Osborne’s plan to raise inheritance tax thresholds?

It is ridiculous hypocrisy for the GMG fatcats to lecture the CEO’s of British industry on paying more corporation tax when they don’t pay a penny themselves. At the very least they should voluntarily pay the £600,000 that would have been payable as a result of the Auto Trader transaction on the transfer of GMG Hazel Acquisition 1 Limited (a Caymans incorporated Special Purpose Vehicle) if it had been incorporated in the UK rather than the Caymans. If they won’t pay the £600,000 to the Revenue, why do they expect other corporations to behave differently? Hypocrites.

Friday Caption Competition (Clarkson for PM Edition)

Jonah Brown Update

Guido is finding it difficult to keep up to date with reports of Brown’s post-visit accursed effects. Co-conspirators email them in almost daily. If Guido can find the time he is going to plot them on a map as we did before with Where’s Gordon?™.


Here are two recent examples of the curse in terrible action:

Liverpool radio DJ Phil Easton dies after interviewing Gordon
The prime minister has led the tributes to legendary Liverpool broadcaster Phil Easton. Gordon Brown was recently interviewed by him for his show on CityTalk. The PM said: “Phil was an accomplished and talented broadcaster who was on the top of his game when we met just a few weeks ago.

Workers face axe at Cwmbran PM visit factory
Around 40 workers at a Cwmbran factory are set to lose their jobs, just weeks after the firm was visited by Prime Minister Gordon Brown. Cwmbran’s Contour Premium Aircraft Seating announced a “proposed head count reduction” of up to 40 employees on Wednesday.

Is Guido the only one to notice that after Downing Street boasted that Gordon was the first world leader to call Obama, the U.S. President began pushing a “Buy America” bill. Gordon talked to Obama about the dangers of protectionsim.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Blair Blesses Obama


Guido’s co-religionist, Tony Blair, was in Washington today to bless the Obamessiah. Tony was witty, articulate and respected.

Guido never liked Tony, but he wasn’t a national embarrassment, he was Prime Ministerial. Can you imagine Gordon stumbling over his words, banging his head against the microphone, calling the new president George. You get the cringe-worthy picture. No wonder Obama wanted Tony.

No Tory Totty Pictures from the Ball

You will be disappointed to know that Guido has obtained no photos from last night’s Tory Black & White Ball. Cameron and Coulson were determined that no glossy glamorous photos should leak out in these credit crunch times…

Any co-conspirators in a position to help?

UPDATE : Not a single snap has been forthcoming. The prospect of power clearly brings discipline. Guido remembers when the Tories were fun…

UPDATE II : Rumour has it that the Daily Star has pictures tomorrow. Sam Cam is finally a Star-bird. She will be thrilled.

Go On Dave, Give the Hugh Grant Speech

So the Americans arranged for the torture of a British resident and held him in Guantánamo Bay without charge, but all this must remain secret because the Yanks have threatened to stop sharing intelligence with Britain. That would directly threaten Britain’s national security, David Miliband has told a judge. So that is it as far as this government is concerned.

David Davis is demanding a Commons statement from the government on the ruling, calling it “a matter of utmost national importance”. Nothing however from Dave, so far, on the subject. When the above scene from Love Actually played in cinemas, the audiences spontaneously applauded and cheered. That apolitical audiences at a romantic comedy respond like that tells us something profound, Britons know in their hearts, across the political spectrum, that successive governments have been too subservient to U.S. interests. Humiliatingly subservient.

Guido is pro-American, don’t misunderstand. There is no doubt that Anglo-American friendship has served the world well for a century. Friendship does not require subservience. Friends speak frankly, friends respect each other for telling the truth to their face. Go on Dave, give the Hugh Grant speech. It would be great for Britain.


Seen Elsewhere

Mock the Week’s Weak Comedy | Nigel Farage
Can Jim Murphy Save Scottish Labour? | Guardian
There is Still Appetite for the Westminster Lunch | Jon Craig
Labour Turn Their Backs on Jewish Community | Dan Hodges
Chivalry is Not Dead | Laura Perrins
Jonathan Jones is a Tw*t | Iain Dale
Second Scotland Poll Suggests Labour Wipeout | Times
Paedo Probe Boss Urged to Quit | Sun
Keynesian Tories Won’t Eliminate Deficit | Tim Montgomerie
Whitehall Doesn’t Work | Dom Cummings
Russell Brand’s Tax Avoidance Firm | Sun


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David Cameron drug policy reformer and leadership contender in 2005…

“Politicians attempt to appeal to the lowest common denominator by posturing with tough policies and calling for crackdown after crackdown. Drugs policy has been failing for decades.”



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Is it just me, or is Nigel Farage just a top hat and a monocle away from being a Batman villain?


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