Monday, March 31, 2008

Is the Mirror Going Down the Express Way?

The ailing* Daily Mirror has a noble history, but in the last decade or so it has lost its way terribly. Publishing fake pictures of British soldiers in Iraq committing “outrages” and the editor and the financial reporters involved in a share ramping scandal at the expense of readers.

The Mirror does a lot of Cameron bashing. Kevin Maguire, political editor, writes Beano-like articles with references to Lord Snooty and druggie Dave, the Bambi-killing toff. All good knock about stuff (though Guido does wonder if this means he patronisingly thinks Mirror buyers have the reading age of a Beano reader?)

The story last week that Samantha Cameron was guilty of “snubbing a charity trying to stop mothers dying in childbirth… because she was too busy with her job… at posh stationer Smythson” struck Guido as pretty low.

The Daily Express had to pay £500,000 to the parents of Madeleine McCann after admitting just making up stories. The Mirror does seem to be going down the same path with this kind of story. It is one thing to follow Dave about on his bike and root through his bins for disposable nappies, to see if his words match his deeds, that is just about defensible. This was just a completely manufactured story to paint Samantha Cameron in a bad light.


*Circulation down year after year for years, it now has a circulation nearly half that of The Sun.

Rich & Mark’s Monday Morning View

Sunday, March 30, 2008

If Jacqui Has Done Nothing Wrong, She Has Nothing to Fear

Perry de Havilland over at Samizdata draws attention to the German hacker group that has published thousands of plastic foil reproductions of the German Interior Minister’s fingerprint, ready to glue to someone else’s finger to provide a false biometric reading. Which set Guido thinking…
Guido will buy dinner at a Michelin starred restaurant for anyone who provides him with a verifiable* copy of Jacqui Smith’s fingerprints.

You can do it yourself – How to Fake a Fingerprint in 12 Easy Steps – Chaos Club, there is an instructive D. I. Y. video here.

Remember, remember: people should not be afraid of their government, governments should be afraid of their people.

*Verification should be an explanation of how it was obtained, preferably with photographic evidence. Forinstance if she comes into your kebab shop and you capture her on CCTV holding your laminated menu. Don’t worry about copying the fingerprint. We will take it from the surface direct, so keep it safe. As far as Guido knows there is no law prohibiting gathering finger residue fluids – yet.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Brown’s Loyalists "Part of the Problem", Not the Solution

They are calling it Downing Street blue-on-blue infighting. The neo-Brownies from the PR world ousting the old Brownie tribe who successfully undermined Blair. The truth is the Brownies are second rate compared to the Blairites, this was patently obvious to any objective observer. Even Guido, no fan of Blair, could see that he was a politician with a high calibre team. Brown on the other hand is a brooding malevolent weirdo who had no choice but to surround himself with second raters, Blair had attracted the best and the brightest of New Labour’s talent pool.

The Brownies were able to undermine a triple election winning prime minister, brief against rivals, selectively leak, obstruct, frustrate rival policy objectives out of spite and generally behave like petulant secretive plotters always positioning for factional advantage rather than in the national interest. They were capable of that, alas when they finally assumed control of No. 10 it became clear within months that they were not a capable or competent premiership team.
If Gordon is to have any hope of narrowing the double digit lead Cameron has over him at the polls he clearly needs to up his game. Stephen Carter has been brought in from his job as CEO of Brunswick to do that because the veteran Brownies are part of the problem, not the solution, too immersed in the Labour tribe, good at arm twisting the party rank and file, not at reaching out to swing voters. His PPS Ian Austin’s heckles of Cameron at PMQs amuse only the class warriors on the Labour back benches – they even manage to irritate the chippy Speaker. His counsel is no use to Gordon now the electorate that matters to him is no longer merely the PLP.

Month after month of poll decline has finally got the message through to Brown. Hence we see the marginalising of his former closest supporters, even his pollster, Deborah Mattinson is said to be on her way out. Spencer Livermore went in tears. Gordon’s praetorian guard MPs Tom Watson and Iain Austin, respectively Gordon’s attack puppy and heckler-in-chief, occupied ground floor offices in Downing Street adjacent to the cabinet room. The pair liked to think of themselves as Gordon’s enforcers. Stephen Carter has had them kicked out of their offices and their places taken by his deputy and secretary.

Competition Winner

Some cracking entries for the sing-a-long song competition for the campaign to bar Alistair Darling from every pub in Britain.

Guido tried imagining a drunken bar singing the songs to make his judgement. Commendations to Alex, and Anon. Mitch is the runner-up with his re-working of Abba. The winner with appropriate new lyrics to the tune of the Wild Rover is Marquee Mark which the Washington Post also likes calling it a “catchy” ditty.

If Mark emails Guido his address a copy of John McCain’s new book Hard Call: Courageous Decisions by Inspiring People will be sent to him.

The Devil has a round-up of campaign news, with video clips from PMQs, Sky’s report on the campaign and pictures from pubs around the country.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Friday Caption Contest

Sent in by co-conspirator, Dominic Fisher

Ken’s Vibrator Impersonation

See the fly-on-the-wall footage of Ken’s impersonation of a vibrator over on GuyNews.TV

Ken’s Vibrator Impersonation

Get Guido’s Headlines Texted to Your Phone for Free

The feedback on Guido’s headline to SMS text message service has been universally good. Particularly since it is totally free…
The service really comes into its own when there is fast breaking news. The free service texts a message containing the headline, followed by a clickable link which (on web-enabled phones) will take you directly to the full blog story. Subscribe here.

You’re either in front of Guido or behind…

"Block Boris" Says Ken’s Transport for London Commissar

As panic starts to grip Ken and the London Labour Party things are getting pretty desperate. Gordon lies at PMQs regularly that Boris wants to cut police numbers – as if a Tory mayor would ever cut back on coppers. Now Ken is pulling whatever levers he can to hold on to power. London’s transport commissar, Peter Hendy, has ordered his spin team to counter the popular Boris message on killer bendy-buses. Transport for London has also told taxi drivers not to issue receipts with “Back Boris” logos. Guido understands that 50,000 books of these receipts have already been snapped up by cabbies. This is a mistake by Ken, cabbies are not ones to succumb to authority. Petty diktaks like this will only get their backs up and ensure they do back Boris.
More sinister are the implicit threats to police funding hinted at if police sources don’t stop telling the truth about the appalling safety record of Ken’s bendy-buses. Ken clearly favours his friend Castro’s policing methods, where the police follow the party line…

UPDATE : In the comments there was some dispute about whether Hendy threatened police funding. Here is the quote from an email: “The statements clearly come from the Met traffic officers involved in the investigation (and are manifestly incorrect). It makes me inclined to cut support for TOCU in future budgets as clearly their support for us is limited to taking money and is one way.”

TOCU is the Transport Operational Command Unit, the Met division charged with tackling road safety and bus crime. Funded by TfL, it has 1,200 police officers, community support officers and traffic wardens and is a key part of the Met’s anti-crime strategy.


Seen Elsewhere

Fraser Nelson: Put Your Money on Ed Miliband to Win | Guardian
Guido Fawkes is Too Aggressive | The Times
Ditch Tobacco Plain Packaging | Grassroots Conservatives
What Farage, Boris and Rob Ford Have in Common | William Walter
Labour Spell New Adviser’s Name Wrong | ITV
Dave Stung by Jellyfish | Sun
City Minister’s Inheritance Tax Dodging Trusts | Indy
What I Would Have Done if I was Sarah Wollaston | Iain Dale
Boris is an Epic Europhile | Louise Mensch
Warsi Got PM to Confront “Secular Fundamentalism” | Fraser Nelson
Guardian April Fools Apology | Press Gazette


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Rod Liddle on the loony UN sexism special rapporteur:

“There is more sexism in Britain than in any other country in the world, according to a mad woman who has been sent here by the United Nations.

Rashida Manjoo is a part-time professor of law at Cape Town University in the totally non-sexist country of South Africa (otherwise known as Rape Capital Of The World).

Mrs Magoo has been wandering around with her notebook and is appalled by the sexist “boys’ club” culture here, apparently.

I don’t doubt we still have sexism in the UK. But is it worse than in, say, Saudi Arabia, d’you think, honey-lamb? Or about 175 other countries? Get a grip, you doolally old bat.”



orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?


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