Monday, May 11, 2009

Sleaze Meter Poll Looks Bad for Blears

PoliticsHome polled its PHI100 panel of Westminster insiders for their assessment this morning and on a scale of zero to 100 Hazel came out worst. Is this reallynot just a factor of visibility? Blears has behaved disgracefully, but twice as bad as the next sleaziest government minister? Hoon’s sleaziness seems grossly underestimated…

PoliticsHome Sleazemeter

Q. How Many Expense Claims Does it Take to Change a Light Bulb?

Two BrainsA. One.  According to a claim made by “two brains” David Willets.

In the great scheme of things £100 for a workman to change 25 lightbulbs is trivial.  What it does highlight is the undeserved sense of entitlement that politicians have.  Whereas even a DIY dummy like Guido manages to change his own lightbulbs, politicians don’t need to worry about such trivia.  They just charge it to the taxpayer.

Until that culture changes and politicians realise taxpayers are their masters not their benefactors we will continue to have a parliament of petty pick-pockets. Our pockets…


Sleaze Deluge Delays Guido’s Hoon Guide

Hoon's Flipping FiddlesThe promised guide to how to become a millionaire in politics has been delayed in order to incorporate a lot more information. Don’t worry it will be published, but it will be a lot more comprehensive than Guido first envisaged.

To be frank, Guido is being overwhelmed with sleaze.  Dirt which has to be checked out, it all takes time.  Wouldn’t want to give a fiddling politician the opportunity to sue over a mistake…

All Sorry Now

Dave said sorry last night, Alan Duncan said earlier this morning “every MP must apologise for what has arisen over time”.  Gordon has just jumped on the apology bandwagon:

“I want to apologise on behalf of politicians, on behalf of all parties for what has happened in the events of these last few days. I want to assure you…we must have the highest standards for our profession.”

Politics is not a profession Gordon, it is a racket, and this has been going on for decades not days.  Guido won’t believe they are sorry until they pay back the money they have embezzled.  Then they will be really sorry…

Gordon Has His Own Powder Puff

Make UpThe Sun has got hold of  Gordon’s fashion tips.  According to a leaked typed guide sheet for the Prime Mentalist, his personal routine is;

1. Transparent Brush. Foam all over.

2. Small pot under eyes, dimple, creases, blend in.

3. Clinique. Super balanced make-up. All over again, like painting a wall, and ears. Shut eyes over lids then with make-up pad smooth over liquid.

4. Powder (dark brush) terracotta Guerlain, all over.

The mystery of  how Gordon ended up with a big orange blob on his forehead is solved…

Rich & Mark’s Monday Morning View

Two Shits Prescott

Sunday, May 10, 2009

+++ Letwin Claimed for Tennis Court ++++++ Maude Flipped Property +++

UPDATE : Story is now up on Telegraph site.

Story Guido didn’t already have: Andrew Lansley renovating a property just before flogging it and flipping for another.  Chris Grayling claiming £100,000 for council flat story is an old one done here before.  Maude story was on Channel 4’s Dispatches a few weeks ago.

Doesn’t exactly fill you with confidence that as soon as they get their bums into the ministerial limos they won’t start troughing away.

+++ Cameron Expected to Make Statement Tonight +++

UPDATE : Cameron basically said it was a bad day for the Conservative Party and he was sorry.

+++ Gove Claimed for Nights at the Garrick ++++++ Osborne Claimed for Chauffeurs ++++++ Cheryl Gillan Claimed for Dog Food +++

Guido’s turn to do a spoiler on Telegraph Now we’re even…

UPDATE : Telegraph is flagging up Alan Duncan’s Jacqui Smith style claims for gardening.

+++ HMRC Official : MPs Will Be Investigated +++

Benefits in kind going undeclared by MPs and flipping primary residences to evade capital gains taxes will now be investigated according to a statement released by HM Revenue Commissioners.

Listening to the politicians who lecture us on redistribution and tell us “it is right that those who have more, pay more” explain why they evaded capital gains taxes is going to be fun.  Fun for Guido at least.  In fact it is like all Guido’s Christmases have come at once.  Smeargate followed by the total exposure of the reality of politician’s troughing venality and lack of integrity is everything Guido has ever wanted.

Finally, after four hundred and four years, the torture of the original Guido Fawkes is being repaid without resort to the rack.  When they start jailing politicians, old Guy will have been completely avenged.


Seen Elsewhere

Treasury’s Laws There to Be Broken | Jill Kirby
Dave’s Pro-Free Markets Speech | ASI
Forget the Nimbys, Bring on the Bimbys | ConHome
Emily is No Snob | Islington Tribune
Cam’s Red Line | Sun
Politicians Must Examine Their Extincts | Laura K
Immigration Lies | Nigel Farage
Take That Mr Speaker | Quentin Letts
How Avoidable Scandals Destroy Stupid Politicians | Alex Wickham
UKIP Mosque Confusion | The Week
Let’s Ban the Word Internet | Padraig Reidy


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Tony Blair threatens Ed:

“If you had a strong political lead that was combining the politics of aspiration with the politics of compassion, I still think that’s where you could get a substantial majority…  If I ever do an interview on [the state of the Labour Party], it will have to be at length…”



Left on Left says:

The lefties are attacking because the panellist is a millionaire and lives in a London home worth upwards of two million. Someone had best tell them he’s called Ed Miliband.


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