Gordon’s Shadowy Henchmen

Guido has been told by sources that the Smith Institute is the tip of the iceberg for Gordon’s secretive ways. Guido’s attention has been directed towards the Political Research Taskforce (PRT) run out of 39 Victoria Street. This is the shadowy nerve centre of the Brownite party-within-a-party.

Ex-alumni of the PRT include its former leading light, Spencer Livermore*, who is now Gordon’s chief political and strategy adviser.

Sources tell Guido that Gordon’s dozen SpAds (compared to the usual ministerial 2 and not forgetting the 8 civil servant support staff) cost the taxpayer well over a £1 million a year. The SpAds liase closely with the PRT team at 39 Victoria Street. Brownite ministers even have their spin lines co-ordinated by the PRT. Wary ministers will nervously check with the PRT to find out what the correct Brownite, as distinct from party, line is on an issue before going on Newsnight to parrot the approved formula. Such is the paranoia of the Brownites and the fear of his wrath amongst junior ministers.

Strangely the cost-cutting redundancies at Labour HQ have left the PRT largely unscathed…

++ Developing ++

*Spencer knew about the Loans for Lordships scandal during the 2005 election period. A memo emailed to him and obtained by the Observer in November outlined the situation. So presumably his master, who was running the election campaign, also knew about the secret loans.

Remember, Remember….

Centuries of anti-Catholic discrimination could come to an end if John Gummer gets his way. Not often that Guido lines up behind Cornerstone, but with this bill the headbangers should prevail.
Gummer’s speech moving the bill was good, very gently listing some of the slights against the Catholic church still on the statute books. He neglected to list the terrible suffering of Guido’s co-religionists under protestant tyrants. That may be history, but in truth it is shameful that today a purportedly modern liberal democracy discriminates against one specific faith.

Somebody said to Guido that it was indeed a terrible shame that Baby Ms Fawkes could not become head of state or even marry one. Wrong on both counts Guido told them, the presidency of Ireland is hers for the taking…

Team Cameron’s Required Reading

Frank Luntz’s new book Words That Work: It’s Not What You Say, It’s What People Hear has a strong message for political operators. It is a message that Gordon Brown would be wise to heed. Luntz is becoming a bit of a Cameroonie guru, it was his Newsnight poll that many think helped tip a lot of Tories into Dave’s camp.

Writing in this morning’s Speccie he warns the Brownites that “Gordon Brown may have much to teach David Cameron in the ways of governing, but Cameron is proving to be a better student of language.”

Guido’s English mistress told him that “words are but wise men’s counters and the money of fools.” How Guido laughed…

++ SKY : RUTH TURNER WAS QUESTIONED AGAIN ++

UPDATE : She reported to the police yesterday under the terms of her bail. She was re-interviewed, which technically is re-arrest methinks.

Iron Lady No More

Fear not, she lives, and now she has been cast in bronze. A full size statue of Baroness Thatcher will be placed in the Members’ Lobby today. The statue was commissioned by the Advisory Committee on Works of Art in 2003 from sculptor Antony Dufort.

The statue’s position means that every politician who passes by will have to look up to her. Rightly so.

C4 News on Political Bloggers

Prezza Takes the Biscuit

The cost of the Deputy Prime Minister’s Office has risen by 30%. If you thought Prescott was bad value for money when it cost £2m to keep him on the croquet lawns and perform his various roles, then a 30% cost overrun to £2.6m is outrageous.

All he has to do nowadays is consume tea and biscuits, keep his trousers up and his hands off the secretaries, how can this cost us £2.6m?

What the hell is he spending the money on?

Miliband’s Blog-Rolls

New additions to Miliband’s taxpayer-funded blog-roll include Iain Dale, Omar’s Blog, Recess Monkey, Ellee Seymour, Labour Home, Conservative Home, LibDem Blogs, and guess who?

He obviously didn’t get the memo from the Boycott-Guido-Coz-He-Is-Evil crowd that hang out at Tom Watson’s place. That will be proof to the Brownites that the Miliblogger is definitely the new enemy now Reid is done in. Maybe he just secretly likes Guido’s 2005 prophecy?
Comparing his blog to this blog shows that it costs the taxpayer 50p for every reader he gets per month, whereas here in the creative part of the economy, Guido’s blog is forced to contribute to Gordon’s coffers. Therefore Guido won’t be reciprocating with a blog-roll link to the Miliblogger until he buys lunch…

Unions to Gordon : End Ronnie’s Tax Breaks

Ronnie “PFI” Cohen is Gordon’s moneybags backer. His Apax Partners is Britain’s biggest Private Equity finance house. The Private Equity sector is one of the hottest areas of profitability in the City and demonstrates the continuing adaptability of capitalism. Apax does the traditional sweat or strip the assets plays of financial engineers of yore and is also a “stakeholder” in New Labour’s PFI deals. Apax, through various subsidaries, is a huge “stakeholder” with multi-billion exposure to Gordon’s off-the-balance-sheet PSBR dodge.

The unions don’t buy into the “stakeholders” and Public Private Partnership (PPP) language of New Labour, they see it as old fashioned profiteering by the private sector vultures of venture capitalism at the expense of the workers. The GMB is calling for 100% windfall taxes and an end to tax relief on debt financed Private Equity deals. So who will Gordon listen to, the unions who oppose him or the PFI-profiteering venture capitalist who backs him?

Don’t hold your breath, it was after all Gordon who secured Ronnie his knighthood and later tried to get him a peerage…

Happy Birthday GordonTories Poll 40% Against Blair / 42% Against Brown

As Gordon celebrates his 56th birthday this morning, we learn that an ICM poll in the Guardian puts Cameron’s Conservatives on 40 (+3), Labour 31, LibDems 19% (-4). A gap only seen three times since Margaret Thatcher’s day. Labour hasn’t polled as badly as this since Michael Foot. On a 40% share the Tories could achieve a parliamentary majority.

When ICM compared Cameron’s Conservatives vs Brown’s Labour vs Ming’s Lib Dems – it got even worse for Labour. The margin widened further to Conservatives 42% (+2): Labour 29% (-3%): LibDem 17% (-3). Happy Birthday Gordon…

Blair : I’m Not Listening

The Downing Street e-petitions exercise tells us something fundamental about Tony Blair and his government. They are not listening, your opinion is irrelevant. They view the e-petitions project as a means by which they can put their case to opponents. Tony doesn’t take note, a million signatures against road pricing merely means that they will have to explain it again and again until they get their way. As soon as the anti-ID cards petition closed, signatories got an email telling us why ID cards would lead us to Nirvana. Consultation in New Labour’s dictionary means “to seek approval”.

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Rich & Mark’s Monday Morning View

Peter Hitchens R.I.P., the Hitch Lives

The showdown has led to a gracious climb down. Peter Hitchens’ bicycle visit to the Hitch convinced him that the poor chap had suffered enough. The Hitch blog lives on mind you, and it is still an homage to Peter Hitchens.

The Hitch is funnier of course. Like you imagine the original would be like if he hit the bottle harder, swore more and was a little less restrained – a Viz version of the original. The demo outside the Mail’s offices complaining about the parody Hitchens’ blog still ranks as one of the most amusing moments in left-wing, po-faced protestor stupidty. Hitchens crying to Iain Dale about his suffering made Guido laugh as well.

Incidentally, some months ago Peter Hitchens’ producer contacted Guido to assist with his upcoming docu-turnover of Cameron. The producer talked an unbearable amount of bollocks about how it was going to be a fair and balanced portrayal of Cameron. Guido said he’d be happy to discuss Dave over a bottle or two with Peter (trans. not bloody wasting time with the dreary media studies graduate who makes Hitchens’ tea). Have heard nothing since.

Peter Hitchens Stalking The Hitch

Something about the zeitgeist this month means that every successful blogger has to acquire a stalker. The Hitch has surpassed Guido in this sense. Whilst Guido has cyber-stalkers and comment trolls galore, the latent tension between “the real” Peter Hitchens the controversialist right-wing writer and the Peter Hitchens that writes for the Mail on Sunday is reaching hysterical levels. It was funny first time, but this round is bonkers.

First Hitchens complained to Yahoo that the Hitch was using the name Peter Hitchens in his Yahoo mail address. The complaint resulted in Yahoo removing his service. So he simply re-registered as therealpeterhitchens@… Then Guido got a phone call from the Hitch – “Peter Hitchens has just cycled up my drive”.

On his blog he elaborates –

I didn’t answer the door for a few reasons.
1, He didn’t ring the bell
2, I was wearing nothing other than my underwear
3, I thought “Fucking no way is that Peter Hitchens”

Having put a pair of pants on and gone to the door he was gone, If he hadn’t I would have invited him in. I have to say I admire his balls for doing it, the man has made a career out of touring some of the scariest places on earth and confronting far nastier folk than your humble blog host.

This “Hitch” admires the other “Hitch” but thinks he is a bit up himself and should lighten up, having said that , as long as he keeps threatening me he can fuck off and I will ratchet this up as high as he likes.

At first Guido thought the Hitch had been at the sherry, but no, he claims Peter Hitchens is moaning and making vague threats via email continuously. It is hard to see what course of action is open to him in law. There is no law against parody. In fact it seems to Guido if anyone is guilty of anything, it is Peter Hitchens for having a total lack of a sense of proportion. Cycling around peering through people’s letterboxes, he should be charged with travelling without a sense of humour. That’s stalkers for you…

Never Was Good at Deadlines

Whoops, have just noticed the Direction under Section 8(3) of the Charities Act 1993 sitting on the desk. Blah blah blah seven days blah blah blah liable to imprisonment blah blah. Have just had a very pleasant pissy lunch with Bryan Appleyard and now have to pick up Baby Ms Fawkes.[…]

+ READ MORE +



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Quote of the Day

David Cowling, the BBC’s head of political research, in an internal memo…

“It seems to me that the London bubble has to burst if there is to be any prospect of addressing the issues that have brought us to our current situation. There are many millions of people in the UK who do not enthuse about diversity and do not embrace metropolitan values yet do not consider themselves lesser human beings for all that. Until their values and opinions are acknowledged and respected, rather than ignored and despised, our present discord will persist. Because these discontents run very wide and very deep and the metropolitan political class, confronted by them, seems completely bewildered and at a loss about how to respond (“who are these ghastly people and where do they come from?” doesn’t really hack it). The 2016 EU referendum has witnessed the cashing in of some very bitter bankable grudges but I believe that, throughout this 2016 campaign, Europe has been the shadow not the substance.”

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