Friday Caption Contest

blears-purnell

Back Him, Or He’ll Sack You

A Blairite source tells Guido that last night Brown’s henchmen started calling ministers from 10 pm when Purnell’s bombshell exploded, demanding in no uncertain terms  that they publicly back Brown if they wanted to keep their jobs in today’s re-shuffle.

Caroline Flint, who is not a renowned fan of Gordon, issued a statement of support last night.  Might as well keep the ministerial pay and perks for as long as possible…

UPDATE : Is it only the Fink and Guido who are amused that last night Hutton released a statement saying Purnell had made the wrong decision to resign, before resigning this morning?

Browndemonium

This reshuffle is all about survival, Gordon Brown’s survival.  He is trying to buy off his enemies, placate cabinet colleagues who could destroy him and stabilise his government.  It looks like he is too weak to be able to put Ed Balls into the Chancellorship, so all last week’s public dithering about Darling’s position was pain for no gain.

Yvette Balls looks set for promotion so the bunker team is not without advance.  Guido can’t help wondering what Mandelson is thinking.  The serpent could, if he wanted, strike a fatal blow at any moment…

+++ Purnell Pulls the Trigger +++

City Swept by False “PM Resigns” Rumours

Dealing rooms cheered as rumours swept around the Square Mile that Gordon was gone. Downing Street had to issue a denial that the Prime Mentalist had resigned.  Soon Gordon, soon…

Election Day Shenanigans

UKIP are complaining that ballot papers are being handed out folded over and people don’t realise their name is over the fold. Supporters are complaining to their party HQ that UKIP were not on the ballot paper…

lizThe SNP are demanding the immediate cessation of automated marketing calls by the Labour party – using the voice of Coronation Street actress Liz Dawn. The calls directly market the Labour party – a breach of the Privacy and Electronic Communications Regulations 2003.  Desperately deprived of supporters willing to knock on doors the Labour Party is willing to break the law…

UPDATE : Source says the Information Commissioner has already reprimanded Charlie Whelan’s Unite union yesterday for doing automated calls.

Public Service Broadcasting

So in search of the truth and information as to what is really going on the British public turns to the state broadcaster, the venerable BBC, the broadcaster the people are involuntarily forced to fund.  Who, we want to know, is behind the attempt to oust the Prime Minister by email?

John Humphrys : …who’s behind it? Our political editor Nick Robinson, do we know Nick?

Nick Robinson : We do know, I am not entirely sure I am going to tell you on the Today programme…

(Listen online here.)  You pay taxes so Nick Robinson can report on politics.  Sky News says Charles Clarke is behind it, no taxpayers were harmed in bringing you that information.  Incidentally, Clarke was seen chatting to Hazel Blears at Andrew Neil’s sixtieth birthday party on Sunday…

Countdown to Chaos

10pmYou wouldn’t know there was an election on would you?  The governing party is in chronic meltdown.  The Prime Mentalist is reduced to begging his sworn enemies for support.  One Blairite told Guido “if you think this is bad, wait until the polls close”.  Currently Ministers and MPs are straining to be loyal, Lord Falconer yesterday morning on the Today show put a sell-by-date on that loyalty.

After the polls close at 10 pm tonight, the battle will be joined for real…

Telegraph’s Porter Taking Copy from Downing Street Again

Porter-Smears-BlearsAccording to  the Telegraph’s Andy Porter (a close friend of Damian McBride) “Hazel Blears’ resignation as Communities Secretary was partly triggered by the discovery that she had allegedly avoided paying capital gains tax on the sale of another property.” This […]

+ READ MORE +

+++ Kalms : “I Am Considering Lending My Vote to UKIP” +++

Stanley Kalms is the Dixons tycoon and former Tory treasurer, it is the case that he has never had much time for the Cameroons and has not given any money to the Tories in years. Nevertheless, UKIP will be chuffed […]

+ READ MORE +

PMQs Live Chat : Crumbling Cabinet Edition

Click here and the livechat will pop up.[…]

+ READ MORE +

+++ Girl Power : Flint Rumoured to be Resigning +++

Unconfirmed rumour swirling around in Labour circles…[…]

+ READ MORE +



Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Charles Clarke says Cameron is the most successful PM for over a century…

“Under Margaret Thatcher the Conservatives gained 99 seats. They lost 211 under John Major, gained one under William Hague, quickly and wisely got rid of Ian Duncan-Smith, gained 32 under Michael Howard and have so far gained 133 under David Cameron who, to the great surprise of many (including senior Conservatives), has turned out to be the most electorally successful Tory leader since 1900.”

Top Posts This Week

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.

Facebook

ENVIRONMENT MAYOR TOTTY WATCH: BRAZIL EDITION ENVIRONMENT MAYOR TOTTY WATCH: BRAZIL EDITION
HAIN GRAVY TRAIN HYPOCRISY HAIN GRAVY TRAIN HYPOCRISY
MONBIOT SKINS & COOKS SQUIRREL ON NEWSNIGHT MONBIOT SKINS & COOKS SQUIRREL ON NEWSNIGHT
DAVE’S CARBON BAGGAGE DAVE’S CARBON BAGGAGE
Daylight Robbery: Met Chain Themselves to £216 Billion 10 Year IT Contract Daylight Robbery: Met Chain Themselves to £216 Billion 10 Year IT Contract
Trumps Hair: Toupee or Not Toupee? Trumps Hair: Toupee or Not Toupee?

BURNHAM BLOWS DOG WHISTLE LINE BURNHAM BLOWS DOG WHISTLE LINE
DCMS FUN POLICE CALLED OFF THE CASE DCMS FUN POLICE CALLED OFF THE CASE
NEW PEERAGES LIST IN FULL NEW PEERAGES LIST IN FULL
WELSH FIRST MINISTER CONDEMNS STEEL WORKERS WELSH FIRST MINISTER CONDEMNS STEEL WORKERS
MOAT CLEANING EXPENSES SCANDAL MP AWARDED PEERAGE MOAT CLEANING EXPENSES SCANDAL MP AWARDED PEERAGE
CHICKEN TORIES CHICKEN TORIES
1 IN 5 CORBYN SUPPORTERS VOTED FOR CLEGG 1 IN 5 CORBYN SUPPORTERS VOTED FOR CLEGG
CORBYN ESCAPES #LABOURPURGE CORBYN ESCAPES #LABOURPURGE
VOICE OF AN OIL DRILL VOICE OF AN OIL DRILL
Wind Turbines: Subsidised Sun Beds Wind Turbines: Subsidised Sun Beds
FLASHBACK: EVERY DAY SEXUAL SEGREGATION FLASHBACK: EVERY DAY SEXUAL SEGREGATION
Control the Camera on this 360° Crossrail Video Control the Camera on this 360° Crossrail Video
Flashback: Labour Leader Vote Hijack, Could Rivals Do a Balotelli? Flashback: Labour Leader Vote Hijack, Could Rivals Do a Balotelli?
Andy Burnham Everyday Sexism Andy Burnham Everyday Sexism
Burnham Threatens to Quit Corbyn’s Shadow Cabinet Burnham Threatens to Quit Corbyn’s Shadow Cabinet
GORDON DOOMS YVETTE (?) GORDON DOOMS YVETTE (?)
MPs’ Deleted Tweets Twitter Don’t Want You to See MPs’ Deleted Tweets Twitter Don’t Want You to See
Corbyn: ‘I Don’t Support Putin, But…’ Corbyn: ‘I Don’t Support Putin, But…’
Foreign cash funding In campaign should be illegal Foreign cash funding In campaign should be illegal
Corbyn v Train Jihadi Corbyn v Train Jihadi
JEREMY CORBYN EQUATES ISIS TO US MILITARY JEREMY CORBYN EQUATES ISIS TO US MILITARY
MILIBAND’S TRIBUTE BEARD MILIBAND’S TRIBUTE BEARD
CORBYN AT PMQS CORBYN AT PMQS
JEREMY CORBYN’S SENSIBLE JUMPER ADVICE JEREMY CORBYN’S SENSIBLE JUMPER ADVICE