Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Major : I Complained to Cabinet Secretary About McBride

Guido’s co-conspirator with his eye on the Tory girls was at an event last night held by the Conservative Women’s Organisation.  John Major told the ladies that last year he had put in a complaint to the Cabinet Secretary, Gus O’Donnell, about Damian McBride’s activities. It was of course to no avail.

GusThe truth is that Gus O’Donnell is seen by many senior Tories as an integral part of Team Brown.  They no longer have any respect for him as an impartial civil servant and he is unlikely to survive the coming regime change.

Ironic that he first came to prominence under John Major.

Jonah Brown’s Mexican Wave of Tragedy

Guido suspects that President Asif Ali Zardari of Pakistan is no fool, he saw what happened to the Mexicans after their President, Felipe Calderon, shook hands with Jonah Brown.  He acted in Pakistan’s national interest, cancelling a scheduled meeting with the Prime Mentalist.  What was the upside for Zardari in shaking hands with the manic, mincing madman?  Cancelling the meeting was his patriotic duty.

Mexico CursedLast month innocent little President Felipe Calderon of Mexico led a full state visit to Britain.  He happily shook hands with Jonah, he dined with Jonah, he spent time with Jonah unknowing of the fearsome risks. Inevitably within a month the curse hit Mexico hard.   Plague has come in the form of Swine Flu, taking the lives of over a hundred Mexicans so far.

EpicentreThe prolonged proximity to the presbyterian pestilence has brought double tragedy for Calderon’s people.  Already reeling from the swinish plague, Mexico has suffered an earthquake of magnitude 5.6 on the Richter scale.

“I’m scared,” Sarai Luna Pajas, a 22-year-old Mexico City resident, told the Associated Press news agency.  “We Mexicans are not used to living with so much fear, but all that is happening – the economic crisis, the illnesses and now this – it feels like the Apocalypse.” Pity the undeserving victims of the accursed, one-eyed son of the manse…

Monday, April 27, 2009

McPoison : Down and Out in Archway

Michael, a co-conspirator, writes:

Damian McPoisonSeen at 2.15 p.m. today, on the Holloway Road near Highbury Corner, a shuffling near derelict figure in dirty scuffed jeans, run-down trainers and raggedy-arsed donkey jacket.

A double-take. Yup, that rheumey, red-faced pallor.  It is indeed Damian McBride.

“Guido sends his regards,” I yell.  No response.  He looked ruined.

Ratted more likeDo continue to send sightings…

Dolly is Watching Daytime TV

Further to Guido’s story about the BACP Crisis Meeting Over Draper, the psychotherapist’s professional body has confirmed that the

BACP has received a number of queries regarding Derek Draper to which we are responding. Any complaints received will be treated seriously and processed according to our Professional Conduct Procedures.

As soon as they are known, the outcomes of all Professional Conduct Procedures are published in our journal Therapy Today (which automatically goes out to all 30,200 BACP members) and also to the general public via our website. All such proceedings are conducted on the principles of natural justice. All parties to any complaint have a reasonable period during which to make their representations.

Derek Draper and Kate GarrawayGuido understands that Dr Annie Hickox, a qualified clinical psychologist who has worked in the NHS for more than 20 years and holds qualifications up to and including a PhD (unlike Dolly) is one of many who have written to the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy in order to register concern. Dr Hickox says Draper “clearly is not fit to work in his chosen field”.

Draper’s wife Kate Garraway is presenting “The Biggest Loser” on ITV weekdays at 4 p.m., Guido will resist the obvious temptation…

Dave the Rave?

This has been building up for a few weeks and now Guido is getting calls from Dead Tree Press diarists, it is probably time to bring it out into the open.  Is this a picture of a long-haired 22 year-old David Cameron?

Dave the Rave

The pictures are taken from a video of a Sunrise Party held in the summer of 1988.   You decide…

WARNING TO PICTURE EDITORS : PHOTOS & VIDEO COPYRIGHT
OUR LAWYERS ARE BASTARDS

Contact Guido.Fawkes@order-order.com for rights.

Can Brogan Really Restore the Telegraph’s Reputation for Political Reporting?

SmokescreenStephen Glover’s media column in the Indy rakes over the Labourgraph’s dishonest handling of Smeargate.  It is a pretty fair summary of the affair which Guido went over briefly here.  Suffice to say the Labourgraph’s political team don’t come out of either account very well.

Glover reckons Ben Brogan is the best hope of  restoring a semblance of sane editorial coherence from the Telegraph‘s political reporting:

Last week, Ben Brogan joined The Daily Telegraph as its chief political commentator, having been political editor of the Daily Mail. Perhaps he will help restore some balance to the paper’s political coverage. On the one hand, its political staff has been closer than was prudent to No 10. On the other, Simon Heffer has been tossing rotten cabbages from the right in the direction of the Cameroons.

Disorder has flourished under the editorship of a man, Will Lewis, who is neither a natural Tory nor especially knowledgeable about politics. Brogan’s role will be partly to mend fences with David Cameron, but there is also a good deal of general reconstructive work to be done to the paper’s political reputation. How could The Daily Telegraph ever get so close to a man like Damian McBride?

Ben BroganBen Brogan is a good journalist, his blog was just about the only MSM political reporting blog that Guido really respected as a competitor.  Most hacks use their blogs for stuff they can’t get in the paper.  Brogan’s Daily Mail blog was often better than his stuff in the paper and it was very much a real-time competitor.  There is however one prophetic blog post that Guido suspects he would rather forget.  It was written after McBride’s 3 a.m. knifing of Ruth Kelly:

One Day the Truth About McBride Will Out
03 October 2008

Damian McPoisonWhen the Day of Reckoning comes and those of us who know are free to say what we know, Damian McBride will emerge with great credit from the madness of the past few years. … When the cry went up that there had to be changes in No 10, what they meant was McBride had to go. By the time we left Manchester he was being blamed for everything, including the credit crunch and the disappearance of Shergar. Such was his influence that like Macavity his prints were seen on every bit of damaging briefing. It became easy to blame him for every transgression, real or imagined. In fact, he was a victim of his own success. Damian is many things, but not an innocent. His role, by its nature, involved bad business at the crossroads.

But the McPoison of caricature is just that. There is far more to him than most realise. Few can match him for political insight, mischief making exuberance, stamina or that see-round-a-corner skill that few in politics possess. His intelligence was always Grade A, whether it was on election outcomes or how power was flowing. The Tories certainly have nothing like him, save perhaps George Osborne.

What does his departure mean for Gordon Brown? McBride remains in No 10 as an adviser on long-term strategy. The PM will continue to have him to hand. But his enemies will be on the look-out for signs that he is still speaking to the likes of me, so I don’t expect him to return phone calls for a while. Which means the PM will be without the best media handler he’s had. We’ll miss the service, not to mention the in-flight quizzes, and perhaps that’s no bad thing. He may wonder whether it was wise to give up a high-flier’s career in the Civil Service to run away with this circus. Of course, I’m an unreliable witness. But I’m certain of this: you will read a lot in the coming days about Damian McBride, and you shouldn’t believe more than a fraction of it. The true story is far better.

Or perhaps far worse.

Risks Before Swine

Flicking through the Budget Red Book (as one does) Guido’s eye alights on page 131. The Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (Defra) is cutting £44 million from “animal disease surveillance through a more risk-based approach to monitoring and enforcement and by sharing costs with industry“.

The same beloved “risk-based approach” as was advocated by the then Chancellor Brown and his SpAd, Ed Balls, for financial markets?   The same.

Just as Swine Flu approaches British shores?  Don’t worry, it started in America…

Tell Gordon to “Just Go”

ResignFor those who missed this on Friday evening, here is a reminder.  There is a petition on the PM’s official website calling for him to resign.

It was in the hundreds when Guido first highlighted it, it got into the thousands over the weekend.  This morning it is above ten thousand.

When people start emailing it around offices it will climb into the tens of thousands.  Be patient, the Downing Street database server got overloaded over the weekend and petitioners had to try more than once to register their support.

Tell him to “Just Go!”

Rich & Mark’s Monday Morning View

Trophy

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Laser Printer not Lobbed at Lucky Leaders

Looks like the leaders of the opposition parties were lucky not to get a Nokia to the temple administered by the Prime Mentalist.  Reports from the meeting to discuss reforming MP’s expenses have a shouting Brown shaking his fist at the other party leaders shouting ‘We have to get this sorted! We have to get this sorted!’ repeatedly.

Clegg called time on the meeting which saw Brown blame Cameron for bringing the subject up repeatedly at PMQs.  Tsk, tsk, tsk.  Asking the PM questions at PMQs.  Enough to drive him bonkers…


Seen Elsewhere

Does Europe Really Want Britain to Quit? | Nick Wood
Immigration Nation | Hopi Sen
Tories Choose Anti-Israel Candidate in Rochester | JC
Osborne’s Daycare Obsession is a Time Bomb | Kathy Gyngell
BBC Marr Pinko Trying to Ban the Queen | Speccie
Eric Hobsbawm: Companion of Dishonour | Standpoint
Guido Party Gossip | Iain Dale
Russell Brand Comes Out as 9/11 Truther | Guardian
Health Revolution is Underway | Fraser Nelson
UKIP Gets Professional | Red Box
Kelly Tolhurst Wins Rochester Open Primary | BBC


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Austrian Chancellor Werner Faymann on Cameron’s refusal to pay the £1.7 billion EU bill by December 1st:

“Well, then he’s gonna pay on December 2nd”



Mycroft says:

Have you read the last bit of Animal Farm?

You know where the animals are looking through the Farmhouse window?

My TV screen was that window at lunch-time today.

Be careful, the sudden self-congratulatory tone, the slightly pudgy outline of indulgence and you become exactly what you should despise.

The jolly face of the Quisling Cameron poses for your camera has mesmerised and deceived you, you who were once not so deceived.

You were no firebrand, you were a damp squib in my opinion, sorry.

You need a damned good kick up the ahse!


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