Saatchis Sharpen Tory Message

Don’t believe the spin about Euro RSCG still being the Tories main advertising agency.  Saatchi are back and one CCHQ insider told Guido that the problem with Euro RSCG was very simple: “they’re shit.”

These ads are simple and direct, forget Fink’s policy nuancing, forget fiscal details of tax and spend, on election day the choice facing voters is this: “Do you want five more years of Gordon Brown or not?” That is what it will boil down to in the voting cubicle when the curtain is drawn.  If the Tories can frame the vote as a vote for or against Gordon Brown they will win.

Gordon is a huge negative for the Labour Party.  Glad to see that someone at Saatchi agrees with Guido that Gordon’s gold sales debacle is worth putting to the people…

Good Week for the Guidoisation of Politics

Guido is most amused with Joey Jones, Sky’s political correspondent, making the above comparison with a straight face and analysing the pros and cons of the Baldemort line, asking “will it work in the election?”

Even better, the (unconfirmed) word is that the Tories will be using Brown’s disastrous gold sales as a subject in a Saatchi created poster – an idea encouraged last week on this blog.  If the poster features Dale Winton, the Guidoisation of politics will have reached a new high…

Saturday Seven Up

7upMonday was all about Byers; cartoon, lawyers competition, over 4000 people signed a petition to have him stripped of the “right honourable” title at one point at a rate of 1 every 10 seconds and don’t forget that excruciating video.

Guido also deconstructed a typical bit of spin from Vince Cable bigging himself up in the press.  Mugshots of the dirty dozen Labour figures who are either facing criminal charges for theft, have been suspended from the party, suspended from the Lords, found to be expense fiddling, offering to whore themselves out or some permutation of all of the above featured on Tuesday.  Amusing bits of gossip about Balls and Michael Foot capped off the day, Guido was particularly proud of this headline.

Wednesday the blog scooped Patsy Hewitt was due to lecture on corporate morality and Thursday she cancelled.  PMQs saw Dave use Guido’s Baldemort quip about Liam Byrne (Armando Iannucci says he used the line about someone else and Guido owes him a fiver, send the invoice to Dave mate).  The Tory attack ad against Ed Balls moved Guido to make a donation.

Friday the blog was heavy on economics: Gordon’s debt fiddles and Brown’s Gold Bottom.

Lots of mad emails this week, Guido was invited to the New Statesman’s budget lunch with Liam Byrne, accepted and was then dis-invited for some reason.  Not much of a soup fan anyway.  This follows on from being invited to be a Guardian Student Journalist of the Year judge last month, agreeing to various terms and then getting dis-invited.  Bemusing.  What happens?  Do they lose their nerve and get cold feet?

If you were not one of the 61,453 visitors viewing 431,638 pages over the last seven days, here are the seven most popular stories (in order of popularity) that you missed:

You’re either in front of Guido, or you are behind…

Union Boss Fat-Cat Lies About His Pay on TV

Guidogram Going Out Shortly…

This week Guido brings you the Byers lobbying footage Dispatches didn’t use, the vigilante “Real LibDems” release an abduction video.  Gordon’s inner psycho breaks out (again) and we crack open the cider before this Sunday’s tax hike.

If you haven’t subscribed to the Guidogram, you’ll have to wait until next week to see it…

Subscribe to the Guidogram

Clegg’s Campaign Whip Around

It’s not quite Brownian levels of delusion, but then again Nick Clegg has no chance of becoming the next Prime Minister. He still believes that media organisations would will be willing to cough up thousands to join him on the campaign trail though. A cheeky way to fill the coffers:

“The tour will commence within a few days of the campaign being announced and will end on the eve of the General Election in Sheffield. It is likely to last 28 days. A plane flying from Northolt has been hired for the campaign and is expected to be operational for at least three days in each week. There are only 28 places on the tour. Participants will need to be accredited and priority will be given to those who book for the whole tour – the cost will be £7,500 per person. Single days will cost £500, and these will need to be booked on a first come, first served basis.”

If these 28 places are so limited and sought after then why is there also the option to buy the ridiculously overpriced day passes? Guido will be surprised if the Lib Dems can fill a minibus let alone a plane. At least the Lib Dem campaign was well lubricated last time round with Charlie-boy in charge…

Friday Caption Contest


Best caption wins a copy of How to Cut Public Spending: (and Still Win an Election)Best as in witty and amusing.

Brown’s Bottom : Why the Decision to Sell Gold Still Matters
It Shows Brown’s Bad Judgement

The billions lost by Brown’s decision to sell Britain’s gold reserves are mounting as gold prices have more than quadrupled since that debacle.  He has the reverse Midas touch when it comes to market timing.  This chart shows what is known in the gold market as “Brown’s Bottom”:

Cameron brought it up on budget day, Labour spinners reckon it is ancient history, even though they constantly hark back further to Thatcher’s days. Guido thinks it is worth the Tories bringing up gold sales fiasco as emblematic of Brown’s bad decisions.

Gilt yields, Credit Default Swap rates, inflation projections, Public Sector Borrowing Requirements and Quantitative Easing are incredibly important for an understanding of the economy, but they are unfortunately almost incomprehensible to the general public.

Selling off the Bank of England’s gold reserves is easy to understand, it was an act of monumental stupidity and it was executed incredibly badly (Brown tipped the market off to his future intentions).  Anybody who watches TV at the moment is bombarded with adverts offering to buy people’s gold (cheap), Dale Winton is telling viewers day and night that gold is up, the demographic that this is aimed at are C1s and D1s.  These voters might not be interested in the finer points of monetary policy, but they all know one thing for sure, it was a catastrophically expensive  economic error to sell the Bank of England’s gold reserves.  Driving home that simple message graphically will undermine  Brown’s claims to making the right judgements.  Whenever he says that he should be asked Was it the right judgement to sell gold at the bottom? In the past he has retorted that he bought euros, that has had very little return over above what the Bank of England could have got from leasing gold out to short sellers and nothing like the 300% return from holding gold over the same period.  It is easy to understand that selling gold was Brown’s £7 billion misjudgement…

Fiddled Figures Hide Debt Black Hole

Black Hole BudgetGordon Brown claims that because UK debt levels are lower than other European countries he can run Greek-style deficits. This ignores all the debts that the taxpayer is on the hook for even if they are off the books.  Local […]

+ READ MORE +

Desperate Labour Rip off Hacks

Kevin Maguire is on surprisingly good form in his weekly Stagger’s whispers. First we learn that the Prime Mentalist has taken to hugging bunker guests just in case they thought they were going to get a Nokia to the […]

+ READ MORE +

Tories Launch Ed Balls Attack Advert

Antony Calvert is the Tory PPC fighting to win in Morley and Outwood. He is aiming to give Labour a “Balls moment” to match the 1997 “Portillo Moment”. Ed Balls has a notional majority of 9,000, Portillo had a […]

+ READ MORE +

Hewitt in a Hole

In a staggering move the board of Eurotunnel have voted to make the disgraced Patricia Hewitt a director. A great spot by LobbyDog. Even after her  fifty grand golden goodbye, Hewitt is not content with just being a director […]

+ READ MORE +



Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Adam Boulton says David Cameron campaigned as a neo-Thatcherite…

“The manifesto programme, with its sell-off of social housing, clampdown on public sector strikes, EU in/out referendum and benefit cuts, represents a much more traditional, neo-Thatcherite conservatism than that offered by Cameron Mk 1…”

Top Posts This Week

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.

Facebook

Burnham’s Paul Smith Suits Burnham’s Paul Smith Suits
FLASHBACK: You Are Subsidising Andy Burnham’s Property Portfolio FLASHBACK: You Are Subsidising Andy Burnham’s Property Portfolio
Arise, Sir Eric! Arise, Sir Eric!
ENERGY MINISTER TOTTY WATCH CONTINUED ENERGY MINISTER TOTTY WATCH CONTINUED
Stella Grills Dimbleby on Sexuality Stella Grills Dimbleby on Sexuality
New Select Committee Chair Allocation in Full New Select Committee Chair Allocation in Full

Miliband: Don’t Move to the Centre Miliband: Don’t Move to the Centre
Insta-Bunga! Insta-Bunga!
GREEN PAEDO RING RUMBLED GREEN PAEDO RING RUMBLED
BIONIC MAN CONTROLS TWO ROBOTIC ARMS WITH HIS MIND BIONIC MAN CONTROLS TWO ROBOTIC ARMS WITH HIS MIND
TECH NOSTALGIA: LYCOS SELLS ITS PATENTS TECH NOSTALGIA: LYCOS SELLS ITS PATENTS
BIN LADEN PLANNED JIHAD ON CLIMATE CHANGE BIN LADEN PLANNED JIHAD ON CLIMATE CHANGE
CAMERON’S UBER PALS SQUARE UP AGAINST BORIS CAMERON’S UBER PALS SQUARE UP AGAINST BORIS
Andy Burnham: “I Would Follow David Moyes Textbook” in Office Andy Burnham: “I Would Follow David Moyes Textbook” in Office
BBC CLIMATE FORECAST THREE YEARS OUT OF DATE BBC CLIMATE FORECAST THREE YEARS OUT OF DATE
UKIP Latest: Suzanne Speaks UKIP Latest: Suzanne Speaks
24 Hour Drinking: “The Best Thing the Labour Party Ever Did” 24 Hour Drinking: “The Best Thing the Labour Party Ever Did”
Fight! UKIP’s Steven Woolfe v Jean-Marine Le Pen Fight! UKIP’s Steven Woolfe v Jean-Marine Le Pen
Hilton’s Hipsters & High Tories Hilton’s Hipsters & High Tories