Wednesday, December 16, 2009

PMQs Live Chat : Nick Brown Is Watching You

Labour Spying on Guido’s Co-Conspirators

This is the contents page of a dossier that has been passed to Guido:

Over 20 pages it records every comment made by a single co-conspirator in the PMQs live-chat that we do on this blog every week. For those of you who don’t participate, the live-chat takes place during PMQs and is a blokey bar-room, profanity strewn critique of PMQs participated in by hundreds of co-conspirators every Wednesday.

Frequent topics of discussion in the Live-Chat are the fashion choices of front benchers Harriet Harman and Theresa May, the synthetic, ‘oooh, get her’ anger of Nick Clegg and David Cameron’s emerging bald-spot.  High-level stuff.  As is common with sensitive and progressive audiences it not unheard of for co-conspirators to discuss the physical appearance and intelligence of politicians, particularly those asking planted questions.  It is a chance to vent our hatred of politicians in real-time.  It is all good fun before we disappear down the pub at 12.30.

For Labour’s Chief-Whip, Nick Brown, it seems it has been a source of less than deadly intelligence on his constituency Lib-Dem challenger Greg Stone, who posts using the name ‘Inamicus’.  They have been spying on him and have discovered gems like:

  • On Wednesday June 25, 2008 he said “anne mcintosh needs a makeover” … “depressed woman in blue is anne mcintosh (vale of york)”
  • On Wednesday 9th July, 2008 he said  “annie mac looks like a deckchair today” and “quite like darling’s tie…. looks like neapolitan icecream”, “alan reid – lowest profile mp ever”, “spellar nasty old right wing union hack”
  • Wednesday 15th October 2008 – “teresa looks like she’s going for the scottish widows ad look”, “darling and osborne have same tie on”, “roberta blackmanwoods top left – sourfaced bitch”, “straw’s got a hard on”
  • Wednesday 4th March 2009 – “sort your tie out ossie”, “miliband looks monged”, “i quite like hague’s tie”, “yvette’s looking quite cute”
  • Wednesday 25th March 2009 – “like hague’s tie”, “how much botox is hazel blears on?”
  • Wednesday 13th May 2009 – “Mickey Fabb looks pissed”, “nick brown might not be around after the GE :)”
  • Wednesday 20th May 2009 - “Nice suit/shirt/tie combo for Hague”, “Anne McIntosh is in spinster librarian mode again”
  • Wednesday 28th October 2009 – “chloe needs to sort out that monobrow”

Pretty tame stuff by the standards of some of the window-lickers co-conspirators who post on the live-chat.  Nevertheless Nick Brown clearly thinks it worth getting his researchers to spy on this at the taxpayers’ expense and push the dossier around left-wing journalists in the hope of undermining his opponent at the election.  Gordon’s henchman of course would never ever say anything unpleasant about anyone.  Not.  Guido was told by a Labour insider that they print out Iain Dale’s blog every day and file it for use against him should he ever manage to get a seat to fight.  Fair enough, but isn’t all this somewhat pathetic.

The most embarrassing thing about this for Greg Stone is that it shows an unhealthy obsession with William Hague’s neck-wear.

Godless Christmas Card from Bercow

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Coming Soon : Double Digit Inflation

If you haven’t got any gold, stock up on baked beans, because inflation is coming back.  Data released this morning from the Office for National Statistics showed inflation in the UK rose for the second month in succession to 1.9% in November, jumping from 1.5% in October. This rise in inflation is far stronger than consensus economists were expecting.  Guido will bet a large amount of money that the Governor of the Bank of England will have to write to Chancellor Osborne next year telling him why inflation is over-shooting target.

Not hard to figure out why when the government has printed the money to buy all the billions in government gilts offered this year. Take that in, the net effect of printing all that money via quantitative easing was to prop up the government’s debts.  Andrew Lilico at Policy Exchange is equally as pessimistic as Guido, he is predicting 2 quarters of anemic growth, followed by 2 quarters of contraction next year and double digit inflation to follow by early 2012 – a double dip. Double digit inflation and probably a recession in 2013 – stagflation.

Lilico calls the failure of Darling to use the PBR to tackle the deficit sooner rather than later a “nihilist fiscal policy”.  There has been some argument made by left-wingers that the ‘AAA’ rating is not really under threat and that it is just political scaremongering by George Osborne to claim otherwise.  The fact is that the markets have already removed the triple ‘A’ rating before the ratings agencies.  In terms of the interest rate paid and implied risk premium for UK debt, gilts trade like double ‘A’ countries – Japan, Portugal, Ireland – rather than triple ‘A’ countries like Germany.  As a result, the cost of servicing UK debt is already 20% higher* than it is for Germany despite £200 billion having been thrown at keeping short-term rates down, not surprising when the UK leads the G20 in having the highest inflation and worst indebtedness.

See also : Yo Dude, Where’s the Deflation?, Bank of England Pension Fund Surges Betting on Inflation, Double Digit Inflation is a Black Swan.

*Market rates today for UK 10 year gilts 3.90% against 3.24% for German 10 year bunds.

Don’t All Rush

Beyond parody :

At least he is a Christian…

Coulson CCHQ Cultivating Bloggers

About now Tory-leaning bloggers will be enjoying lunch courtesy of CCHQ.  They will be chatting with the tweeting Tory head of press and enjoying a drink with Andy Coulson.

Iain Dale, the doyen of Tory bloggers, will not be in attendance, but ConservativeHome’s Jonathan Isaby will be leading the pack of online party supporters gathered in the parliamentary dining room.

Guido’s working theory is that the next election won’t be decisively effected by blogs, though Draper’s dictum that during the campaign the news agenda and party narratives will be derailed by blogs, is probably true.  It might be an embarrassing tweet, it might be a blogger uncovering something.  The mainstream media gets pretty feral during a general election so it will be hard to grab media mind-share. 

Guido will be betting on video being the break-out communication channel – even outside the heat of a campaign individual Guy News videos have reached half-million viewers

UPDATE : Coulson was a no show.  It was braised boar (on the menu, not a reflection on Henry Macrory).

Paintball Aftermath

The Xmas Paintball Match united the politicians from Labour and the Tories against the anti-politicians from the Taxpayers’ Alliance, Big Brother Watch and Guy News on the other side.  Guido is happy to report that the politicians took an awful beating, 4 -1 was the thrashing.  The games were characterised by blatant cheating and vicousness, particularly from the women.  Sam Coates (that is his back pictured in the middle) fought valiantly for the politicians but he was no match for Emily Nomates.  The aggressive attacking from Mark Wallace of the Taxpayers’ Alliance and Alex Deane from Big Brother Watch meant that the politicians were repeatedly overwhelmed.   Personal thanks to Jessica Asato from Progress for firing vertically downwards onto Guido’s head and Brittany Greer for war crimes.  Alex Smith made it particularly easy for our team to find him by wearing a white LabourList t-shirt for the first half of the night.  Guido can confirm that Alex and MessageSpace’s Jag Singh squeal like babies when pain is inflicted on them…

Thanks to MessageSpace for sponsoring the night/beer and Domino’s for the pizza.  It is two for one on Tuesdays…

Jonah Watch, Days of the Damned

The Jonah touch continues. From sport and entertainment, to the world stage – whatever Gordon touches turns to brown.

Just recently Brown praised Jenson Button’s barnstorming F1 championship victory, calling him a “brilliant ambassador for sport.” Not enough to see off a challenge from Ryan Giggs for Sports Personality of the Year though. Praised and damned by Gordon.

Switching over the channels over the weekend Gordon Brown revealed that he and his family were backing Stacey Solomon to win The X-Factor.  Surprise surprise, Stacey Solomon, the Essex gal who has a budding career in any Mike Leigh film, was the first to go crash out of the weekend’s finals. Praised and damned by Gordon.

As regular readers will remember there was some speculation that Gordon had cursed David Beckham’s Football Academy. As many co-conspirators have pointed out, the news has come through that it is officially to shut. Visited and damned by Gordon.

Gordon is bunking off PMQs this week to go to Copenhagen.  He was the first proper world leader to say he was coming. Surprise, surprise it’s not going too well. Developing nations walked out yesterday writing the whole thing off as a stitch up. Damned by association.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Guy News : PBR Budget Bingo Edition

#BlogWars ’09

Guido is off to physically wage war tonight on politicians, we’ll find out if Labour are “fighters and believers”, if the Tories “will fight and Britain will win”The Guy News team will be impartially shooting at both sides, as always…

There has been a bit of banter and sledging on Twitter in advance (hashtag tonight is #blogwars).  Pictured above: Guido looking camp in Kampuchea with the Khmer Bleu, LabourList’s Alex Smith still searching for WMDs, ToryBear looking for @BevaniteEllie, CCHQ’s Sam Coates practising his sharp shooting and Brittany Greer demonstrating why you don’t mess with Texas.

Thanks to Jag Singh (pictured right) at MessageSpace for organising the match.  Do his Labour Party colleagues know that the former Hillary ’08 staffer is a paid up member of the NRA?  Splat!

Seen Elsewhere

All the Single Ladies (And Lords) | Bloomberg
How Ruffley’s Resignation Became Inevitable | ConservativeHome
We Need a Recall Bill Now | Speccie
Left-Wing Anti-Semitism is Nothing New | Dan Hannan
Coe Pulls Out of BBC Trust Race | Mail
It’s Not How You Look, Ed. It’s How You Think | Hugo Rifkind
Mehdi Hasan’s Israel Spin Debunked | Breitbart
Labour’s Muddled Cam Attacks | Janan Ganesh
Ed’s Policies are a Pile of Fudge | Damian McBride
What Ruffley Standing Down Tells Us About Gove | James Forsyth
Tories Say They Could Sack Ruffley | Buzzfeed

Westbourne-Change-Opinion Guido-hot-button (1)

Damian McBride writes in the epilogue to his memoir…

“At the time of writing, nine months from the election, I’ve concluded that Labour currently has no positive messages to communicate to anyone about why they should vote for the party, no policies which will persuade them, and is being run in a totally dysfunctional way.”

Christie Malry @fcablog

Ed Miliband does photo oops, not photo ops

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