Zac’s Fishy Business

In what must be a record, over 230 MPs have now signed Zac Goldsmith’s EDM in support of Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall’s ‘Fish Fight Campaign‘. The campaign aims to bring an end to perverse EU legislation which forces fishermen to dump millions of tons of dead stock back into the sea.

Find out more at  www.fishfight.net.

Guido Knows Name of MP With Injunction, All Too Well

“A serving MP may have taken out a super-injunction preventing details of their activities being exposed” rattles the Press Association this afternoon. Guido is not sure if this is the very same injunction he was served with this March, but he can testify to it being true that at least one MP has an injunction out, because he has it. The Hon. Justice Tugendhat granted the injunction in March and a few years back the same claimants got Justice Charleton in Dublin to injunct Guido, on Christmas Eve. This did not please Mrs Fawkes…

The Irish injunction was dropped, Justice Charleton was unamused that the claimants had, shall we say this diplomatically, somewhat over-stated their case to his Court. Mrs Fawkes has however further injuncted Guido on this matter…

A Human Wedding

During the Labour Leadership race, a much hyped line used by Ed’s younger supporters was that he “spoke human”. But if team Ed are trying to grow on that human aspect, they are not doing very well. The dig at his nerdy brother seems to constantly come back to haunt him. Firstly there was the not getting married, then the suddenly getting married saga. Then there was the lack of best man, at the risk, some say, of his brother declining the offer. And now we learn that he will be having a joint stag do with his, umm, wife to be. How  many blokes picture that as their final night of freedom?

Though there is no such thing as a normal, team Ed seems to be going out of their way to define what isn’t. He’s apparently planning for an election, but how many people are going to look at Ed and think “that’s just odd”? If Ed speaks human, Guido isn’t sure what the rest of us are chatting…

Pensioning Off the Huhney Monster

Chris Huhne is booked to tour the broadcast studios tonight and tomorrow. He’ll be aiming to tickle the clitoris of the sandalistas, positioning himself Heseltine-like as the next LibDem leader. Will he walk from cabinet claiming those nasty Toy boys were horrible? A source points out that his ministerial pension rights don’t kick in for another ten days…

A Guido Political Broadcast – Say No to Nick

Green Party Candidate Exposed As £50-An-Hour “Escort”

Not a good day for council candidates. This is Dave Walsh, the Green Party candidate in the Portslade ward of Brighton. Dave is a former MOD staffer and web developer by day, but at night it seems he has a slightly more lucrative career. Guido has blacked out some parts of Dave’s profile on “Sleepy Boy”, an “escort” service website:

The Greens are spinning this as “a practical joke” being played on their candidate and the profile has been pulled. But how exactly did this “practical joker” get the full frontal shots and the gagged and bound photos exactly? Like Bill Clinton was caught out by a “defining feature”, Guido is sure the exceptional amount of detail provided about Dave’s gentitals could only have come from the man himself.

In case you are interested, Dave charges £50 for the hour, £80 for two or £120 for the night. Does he realise under the Greens’ socialist policies he would be taxed until the pips squeaked on such a lucrative income? 

UPDATE: The national Green Party press office are standing by the “it’s a joke profile” line. The regional office is closed, which is helpful. Perhaps they could then explain if this was “a joke from eighteen months ago”, why Dave’s profile was recently updated to inform punters that he was “free anytime over Easter”. That’s one way of getting to know the electorate.

Tories Pressure Miliband Over Thatcher Grave Dancer

Tory MP James Wharton has put the boot in regarding Ed Miliband’s choice of people to hug:

“I urge you to apologise for the offence you have caused to so many people in appearing to endorse the sentiment expressed by your Labour Colleague. I trust you will immediately demand the resignation of the Labour Council candidate involved.”

Over to you Ed…

Izzard the Labour Lizzard

Like that persistent tranny who won’t leave you alone at a bar,* Eddie Izzard isn’t fooling anyone. The formerly frocked comedian has given his full-blown support to the “Yes to AV” Campaign, but his pick-up rate hasn’t been too good in the past. Izzard was last seen telling the country that Gordon had saved the world and that we should join the Euro.

But the joke isn’t funny any more. Labour insiders suggest that Izzard is only sucking up to Miliband to take MEP Claude Moraes’ position on the London Labour List for the European Elections. He has been attached to Red Ed’s hip at virtually every Labour Party event since Miliband took over.

Claude is said to be aware Izzard is after his job and is not a happy bunny…

UPDATE : A few minutes after this was posted this popped up:

*Years ago when Guido lived in London’s East End, Izzard used to frequent his local boozer. Eddie would hold court in a cocktail dress to admiring young acolytes. The regulars thought he was a twat.

UPDATE II : Apparently Boulton just put this to Izzard and he confirmed he was interested “in 2020”. Yeah right…

Cameron’s PMQs Catchphrases

A dull Council Questions there, but another interesting line from the PM. Last week it was a nod to Michael Winner and “calm down dear” and this week Cameron went for Benny Hill’s favourite ‘fairy dairy land’.

Is there […]

+ READ MORE +

PMQs LIVE: To AV or Not AV Edition

[…]

+ READ MORE +

Ed Won’t Dance When Thatcher Dead

Yesterday it was three cock ups, but today John Humphreys only managed to call Ed Miliband “David”. Guido is sure that’s just what a leader struggling to define his image wanted. He was more interested in the comment Ed […]

+ READ MORE +

Huge No Lead Opens

In the final furlong, ComRes have the “No to AV” Campaign on 66% and the “Yes to AV” Campaign on 34%.

It’s going to be a long day…[…]

+ READ MORE +



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Quote of the Day

Liam Fox shreds Cameron’s Calais scaremongering:

“Sad and disappointed to see our Prime Minister stoop to this level of scaremongering, especially as he knows the Calais agreement is nothing to do with the EU and agreed between the two govts”

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