What do you get in a Tory Black & White Ball goodie bag? Despite the pricey £15,000-a-table tickets, you get tat…

A tea-towel emblazoned with “The problem with socialism…” quote from Maggie, a Conservative Foundation paper bookmark seeking a cheery mention in your will, a plastic pen, Tory drinks coaster, a “securing a better future” blue piggy bank (hint), a bumper sticker and a canvas bag with election slogans on them. Not forgetting the auction catalogue… Sadly Guido was outbid on the chance to go shoe shopping with Theresa May…