September 4th, 2014

WATCH: Saucy Susanna Reid in “Beating Off Men” Slip

The viewers of Good Morning Britain were spluttering into their cornflakes during Susanna Reid’s interview with Downton Abbey hunk Dan Stevens earlier:

She managed to shake it off with consummate professionalism…


  1. 1
  2. 2
    I used to vote UKIP . says:

    Vote UKIP get Labour,


  3. 3
    confused from yarkshire says:

    Is Ms Reid going to do a show from Rotherham, to inform girls how to beat off predatory men?


    • 50
      RomaBert... says:

      That is so f*cking racist, you will get the Thought Police knocking at your door!


      • 89
        Cardinal Biggles says:

        They won’t knock. They’ll kick it down at 0300 hours while BBC attack helicopters circle overhead filming this exciting entertainment for the midday news (sic).

        Welcome to Britain 2014, from an original idea by G. Orwell.


  4. 4
    Peter Mandelson's Brazilian boyfriend says:

    I would!


    • 61
      Oslo Times says:

      Norwegian football slumped to a new low last night, losing 0-1 to a bunch of overpaid partygoers who couldn’t be arsed to get out of bed unless there were a six-figure sum involved. Manager Erik Snagtooth said “I’m as sick as a parrot. I may have fielded our under-21 team, but they should have been able to outplay a bunch of half-trained kids, reserve players and cocaine-addled celebrities playing kick-and-rush.”

      On other pages: your longships tonight…


  5. 6
    Dodgy D. Laws says:

    There was a lot of stiff competition.


  6. 8
    Fruitcake, swivel eyed loon, closet racist, crackpot, crank and gadfly says:

    Woman beheaded in Edmonton. Are you thinking what I’m thinking?


  7. 9
    Ed i don't have any Balls says:

    tell you now, i wouldn’t say no to susanna reid beating me off like!


  8. 11
    Observant in Colindale says:

    Guido, have you got the correct video on the webpage?


  9. 13
    Silly Sally B13COW says:

    *innocent face*


  10. 15
    Sense & Sensibility says:

    Surely Guido doesn’t watch shITV?


  11. 18
    BBC says:

    “Woman ‘beheaded’ in Edmonton garden”


  12. 22

    *Image of Susanna Reid beating off men*


  13. 26
    EeeYepBlowingWhistles says:

    I’ve beaten off hundreds of men. I only charge a fiver for a quick hand shandy and theres plenty of nice boys down here in Bournemouth.

    almost forgot….

    Shomo, Moshe, Hasbara, Zioloon, etc, etc

    Can anyone help me decide what other moniker I should use when I’m having a random anti-jooo rant today? Ho is it that you guys can always tell its me? Am I that fcuking stupid that I think that you don’t know it is me?

    I wish mummy was here to help me but she’s always too busy with Winston and Leroy.


    • 37
      DonkeyDong says:

      Monicas? Got plenty of those. Have a look around Grand Master Dong’s Nom de Plume Emporium

      Hezbollah Hermit
      West Bank Story
      Why we no fighting Beirut innit?
      Have you seen my yarmulke?
      I got beard and curls at my rave! Hasssseeeeeeeeeeeeeed!


    • 77
      He hates being reminded says:

      Lay off the Colgate 235.


  14. 31
    Soviet Space Gekko says:


  15. 33
    Crikey says:

    BBC emphasising that beheading was not terrorist related. Who would think such a thing anyway, beheadings were quite commonplace when I was a lad in the hideously indigenous sixties.


  16. 34
    Anon. says:

    Have the BBC stopped now stopped spinning for Kiev? Probably not yet.
    Not difficult to realise what’s going on in Mariupol from this report.


  17. 35
    David Cameron says:

    Listen, Guidophiles
    Much as it may be a disappointment for you to read this, the reality is that I’m just coasting towards the next election. I’ve realised for a long time that I’m not up to the job of turning around this country (neither is George) and neither is the Conservative Party. We won’t even be able to call ourselves the Conservative & Unionist Party when Scotland goes it alone.
    I’ve realised that I’m more useless than Banky Moon.
    So don’t expect anything much from me between now and May. I’m quite happy to hand the enormous mess, like the doubling of the national debt since 2010 to my rival Mr Miliband. I’ve given up. I haven’t got the fight in me. It might have been that jellyfish sting.
    Great Britain’s up shit creek, and I now realise that my dream to become Prime Minister should have remained just that – a dream. It’s probably become a nightmare for some of you, and especially those of you now reliant on foodbanks because of all the part-time, low pay jobs our policies have created.
    I can afford to retire on my PM’s pension now, and will be able to gain positions on the boards of many of the banks we’ve helped. That’s a perk of the job. I also fancy a place in the Lords. Lord and Lady Cameron does have a certain ring to it. Daddy would be proud.

    So toodle-oo. Pip pip.

    Here’s to a Labour government next year.

    You know it makes sense.

    PS: The Butler Sloss Inquiry has been quietly forgotten.


    • 44
      headless bint says:

      How is the fish David?


    • 48

      Blair – peace envoy to the Middle East

      Brown – political heavyweight of the Better Together campaign

      Cameron, in 2016 -England football manager?


    • 65
      nell says:

      a labour government next year might be a good thing – they’ll only get one term before they reignite everyones memories of their last 13 years reign of terror , economic meltdown, national death service, illegal wars, raided pension funds, anthropogenic global warming scams and taxes, etc etc

      and after that the tories might just have a real party with a real leader (May or boris perhaps?) to get the country back into proper shape.


      • 71
        Moussa Koussa says:

        Nelly, you’re confusing ‘New Labour’ and ‘Labour’.


        • 80
          nell says:

          errrm – militwit was new labour’s and browns climate change minister, balls was new labour and browns economic ‘whizz’ burnham was new labour and browns minister for the national death service, so nothing has changed mk – same people, same policies!!!


        • 81
          jgm2 says:

          Because New New Labour has completely different politicians to Old New Labour.

          All those incompetents and failures like Ed Balls, Ed Miliband and Harriet Harman have disappeared. The Maximum Imbecile has been made Crown Steward and Bailiff of the Chiltern Hundreds Chiltern Three hundreds and retired to a life of quiet solitude and contemplation as penance for completely fucking up the UK economy….

          Oh. No. Wait.


      • 90
        You cannot be serious says:

        “with a real leader (May or Boris). . . . . ”

        Yeah. ‘Cos we can all see what a sterling job May has done running the Home Office can’t we? It is easily the most dysfunctional and inefficient department of state, still unfit for purpose as it was described a decade ago, and has got even worse during her 4 years at the helm. If she had spent a fraction of the time that she has attacking other public services and calling for people to resign their posts looking at the failings of her own department she might have been worth her wages. As it is, if the Tory party even think about making her its leader then she really be a great recruiting sergeant for UKIP. I wouldn’t let her run a whelk stall.


        • 100
          The two Muppets says:

          It obviously has you worried . Theresa May would make an
          excellent Leader . I think that the whole Shadow Cabinet had
          their turn as Home Secretary in the last Labour Government .
          They all turned out pretty useless .


    • 82
      English public says:

      Dave give us a shout say 15 days time, then we can talk about you getting to the May 2015 gig, your little trips to pretend your a world leader is a bit much innit, your yellow backbone protrudes too much, how about sorting the problems at home and maybe paying for an army/navy/airforce before you go to war, which by the way you and your MPs will be on their own.


    • 97
      Keitho says:

      So you are handing over to Militwit then. You fukken traitor.


  18. 36
    Whiffler says:

    Only the unedited ‘rushes’, or the edited ‘snatches’.


  19. 39
    Butch Dave says:

    Top story of bbc website now = a soldier did a silly walk while guarding Buck House


  20. 45
    Celebrity Guido says:



  21. 46

    You can take the man out of the Sun, but…..


  22. 52
    Good Morning America says:

    “Good Morning Britain” – now that’s an original name.


  23. 53
    Anon. says:


  24. 54
    Lord Leveson says:

    Now you tell me!


  25. 56
    deleted says:

    They were all really peaceful — before they came here.


    • 68
      nell says:

      Ho Hum labour radicalised them during their 13 years reign of terror and now militwit wants to deradicalise them although he doesn’t say how he will achieve this underwhelming, unachievable goal.


  26. 64
    Impeach Jack Straw says:


  27. 67
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    ‘… plots, rumours and conspiracy’? You could have surprised me.


  28. 69
    Big Red says:

    Another classic example of Brasseye coming to life.

    Here’s their beat off sketch with Claire Rayner

    Liked by 1 person

  29. 73
    nell says:

    Now is everyone buying up stocks of kettles, toasters, irons and all the other electrical essentials with which we make our lives comfortable before the EU bans everything and insists we go back to medieval practices of wood burning ovens in our gardens , copper pots and spits for spit roasting over the flames?

    Of course this only applies to us in the UK as I t a l y , S p a i n , France and Ger m a n y etc will do what they always do with EI directives they don’t like, ignore them!!


    • 91

      This confirms my previous comment ,there is a special back room office in Brussels who are laughing as they dream up more directives , and betting amongst themselves as to how far the UK government will swallow each new diktat.
      Mes amis ze stoopeed british now ‘av useless vaccum cleaneurz , les dim light burlbs and now zer ketturls are pisspoor uzelerss EH BIEN ?
      Et from tomorrow zer toasteurs will be like sheeet oui ? they must ‘av more wind mills ,for zer electrictee EH bien !!

      Cue sounds of historical laughter


  30. 74
  31. 78
  32. 84
    LIEbour says:


  33. 85
    Security Failed says:


  34. 86
    Security hahaha says:


  35. 93
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    I resemble that remark!


  36. 99
    Pied Piper says:

    Talking of beating off, that was a superb comic scene in Silicon Valley last night where the Pied Piper guys working through the night on various mathematical formulae to determine whether, or how quickly, Erlich could beat off 400 guys in the auditorium (if necessary, to get through to the next round of the competition).


  37. 101
    Casting Couch says:

    She did a Natasha Kerplunksy apparently to get the current job.

    Surprised she didn’t win Strictly, an ITV Producer told me she could get both ankles behind her head with ease.


  38. 103
    Anonymous says:

    Total none story from the vacuous air head Reid.


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