September 3rd, 2014

Career for Piers


When Piers was fired from his prime time CNN show he was in denial and claimed that he was moving on to do interviews with “big celebrities and powerful people that is better suited to what I do well and fit with what Jeff [Jeff Zucker CNN president] is trying to do with the network.” That hasn’t worked out…

The transfer window is open for Piers after CNN released their misfiring multi-million pound star signing on a free:

Piers has plenty of experience in print and broadcast, but the online section of his CV is limited to correcting abusively critical people’s grammar on Twitter. Guido is however looking to hire a budding hopeful capable of producing high quality photo and video content between now and the election. Since he is looking for a new employer, Piers is welcome to submit his application to be the blog’s new Video Journalist/Producer where he can do interviews with powerful people. Any potential future legal issues facing candidates must be disclosed at the interview stage…


  1. 1
    Piers Morgan says:

    Bring back Kevin Petersen to the England cricket team.

    Up the Arsenal !

  2. 2
    Col. Nut says:

    Up you.

  3. 3

    Horrible excuse of a man, hope he gets caught out for the phone hacking

  4. 4
  5. 5
    Anonymous says:

    I thought he was on form this morning talking about the Apple / Celebrity nude photo’s hack – what a two f.c……

  6. 6
    Anonymous says:

    “Career for Piers”
    And there were some thinking, they’d seen the end of the pier’s show.
    Perhaps he could become a born (yesterday) again evangelist, with some TV advertising slots on the side. Such as:
    Welcome aboard Wing-and-a Prayer Caliphate Airways. As far as crosschecking precepts against reality goes, our pilots don’t even kick the tyres before heading for the heavens. Since there is no requirement to verify anything, for safety’s sake. Least of all entirely speculative, and demonstrably unique to each individual, ideology.

  7. 7
    Diane Abbottopotamus says:

    You’re all WAAAAYCISTS!!!!!!!

  8. 8

    Bercow: I still want to hire Australian Carol Mills

    The Speaker says claims he is attempting a power-grab in Commons is a ‘low music hall argument’

    Rather pointed, coming from a circus dwarf…

    Vote UKIP :-D

  9. 9
    Back1woodsman says:

    Does he have Common Purpose diversity training? Will he be able to ‘ lead beyond authority’ ?

  10. 10
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    He’s not even a “has been”, more a “never was”.

  11. 11

    A twister engaged in a game of twister. How deliciously appropriate.

    Morgan was sacked CNN shortly after I sent them an email containing a letter from Morgan to the PCC in which he admitted receiving informThe police source of our article (whose identity we have a moral obligation to protect) ation from the police in circumstances which can only have been illegal, viz: ” ”

    For copy of the letter see

    OPeration Elveden have a copy of the letter.

  12. 12
    Don't look this way, look over there says:

    Nice day not to warm a bit of sun, nice to see that little one has his mum and dad back, how’s Rotherham doing are the fiends in jail yet, what about the other cities, see Scotland may vote YES on the 18th, me I’am going out later for a meal in mid Cheshire, buggering off to Beeston market and then go and find a nice country pub for a meal, see Obumma and his retinue are going to Wales, the Yanks have really gone downhill voting for that thing, wonder if HMS Plymouth has reached the Turkish scrappy yet, gotta go no more to comment, on quiet day today.

  13. 13
    Owen Jones says:

    “Is it normal to get a hard on in the shower sir?” I asked my games teacher.

    “Yes, perfectly normal.” He replied.

    I said “Would you at least stop rubbing my back with it please?”

  14. 14
    Southampton Hosp. & Hampshire Con says:

    We are delighted that Ashya is no longer missing and we fully support our commitment to safeguarding children. We are sure Mr & Mrs King will join with us in moving forward and learning lessons (they do the learning and the moving forward by agreeing that we were are always right).

  15. 15
    CHRIST ON A BIKE! says:

    He could make a fortune touring village fetes, county fayres etc. He’ll just need to sit himself in a set of stocks and charge people to pelt him with things. The queues would be huge for such a great opportunity.

  16. 16

    The very term “R’acist” is in itself r’acist.

    So you are a hippopotamus – fat arse hypocrite.

    Vote UKIP :-D

  17. 17
    Very PC Plod says:

    Protect children from rape or protect moo slim feelings?

    It’s a NO BRAINER!

  18. 18
    Very PC Plod says:

    Protect children from r@pe or protect moo slim feelings?

    It’s a NO BRAINER!

  19. 19
    Winston says:


    “It is mainstream Britain that needs to integrate with the British Asian way of life, not the other way round” David Cameron (2007)

  20. 20

    Where is Jihad John when you really want him?

    Vote UKIP :-D

  21. 21
    Philanthropist of the Year 2014, Tony Blair says:

    It’s all over for the Tories.

    [Cheques etc to usual offshore account.]

  22. 22
    Owen Jones is a cunt says:

    Morning enrichment fans! So will Ed avoid Rotherham at pmqs or will he try and blame Cameron the same way he and rest of Labour have blamed the coalition for the mess they left behind.

  23. 23
    Col. Nut says:

    It might be a fete worse than death.

  24. 24

    I thought you were taking the piss when you posted that. Then I Googled it and found it to be exactly what he said…

    Jesus H Fucking Christ on a Pogo Stick!

    Vote UKIP :-D

  25. 25
    The two Muppets says:

    Piers Morgan is an odious twat , who when he was working for The Mirror,
    fabricated photographs and a story about British troops supposedly torturing
    Iraqi prisoners, putting our troops in danger . A truly nasty individual .

  26. 26
    Owen Jones is a cunt says:

    Careful. Some sandal wearing leftie diversity officer will have you arrested and sent for training in ethnic sensitivity.

  27. 27
    whoopee cushion says:

    er, shouldn’t that be peoples’ ?

  28. 28
    Who is this guy?? says:

    ..and you have a shiny tin foil hat.

  29. 29
    Penny Red says:

    Push up fucking bras are taking fucking boobs and putting them fucking well right where they belong––out in fucking public.

  30. 30
    Although.. says:

    To be fair, Piers would fit in very well with the other weirdo’s in that group photo..

  31. 31

    “I see an EU stretching from the Atlantic to the Urals”, and Mr Putin took him at his word. That’s worked out well, hasn’t it?

  32. 32
    Reader says:

    I think that kind of nonsense is why David Cameron will be going down in history as the worst Prime Minister since Gordon Brown

  33. 33

    Cameron shallow? A patch of wet grass has more depth.

  34. 34
    albacore says:

    Still no word about Rotherham from our Prime Minister
    The consequences are unacceptably sinister
    If he opens that box up, and with whatever bland spin
    The seething giant inside is never going back in
    So, take pity on him, Fawkes, and forget that Piers Morgan
    Wouldn’t Dave make the grade as an Order-Order organ?

  35. 35
    whoopee cushion says:

    probably not

  36. 36
    Where bums rear up, freedom dies says:

    Protecting one’s arse from career-ending accusations of racism in a police force that has been denounced as ‘institutionally racist’ at a national level, in a local authority that needs the Muslim vote, has Muslim councillors and politicos who, in part, justify their political existence by being ostentatiously anti-racist? It’s a no-brainer.

  37. 37
    Soemeone says:

    The speed at which the internet enabled thousands of people to stick it to the bullies in Southampton was very impressive.

    No wonder the government wants to be able to shut down free speech online.

  38. 38
    Don't look this way, look over there says:

    Fkn ell the BBC’s wet dream on Scotland has just finished on BBC 2, they must have been speaking to the snake oils salesman, taking sides seems to be the in thing.

  39. 39
    whoopee cushion says:

    he needs to be reminded of that quote at every opportunity.

  40. 40
    The two Muppets says:

    I thought that it would not take long for CNN to work him out , and then
    realise what an arrogant waste of space he was .

  41. 41
    Very PC Plod (Twitter Division) says:

    It was fully consensual!!!!!!!

  42. 42
    Ed Miliband never says:

    Especially as in many parts of the country muslim councillors of ‘P”kistan! heritage’ specifically seek out roles on council panels dealing with crime and ‘community cohesion’ in order to exert exactly that kind of pressure on behalf of their co-religionists.

  43. 43
    lojolondon says:

    Maybe he can work for the speaker? Massive attitude and self-esteem, fired and facing jail for activities in previous role, complete liar, everyone hates him, Brown-noses Crash Gordon…. he will be perfect!

  44. 44
    Tony Blair Philanthropist says:

    Warning : no begging letters please.

  45. 45
    lojolondon says:

    Aha, yes, that is the perfect role for Piers – interview Jihad John. I hope they ask us for a randsom so we can refuse to pay up!

  46. 46
    Mitch says:

    Relax – the only thing funnier than a No vote will be a Yes vote.

  47. 47
    whoopee cushion says:

    it’s not really finished, think boy is still ward of court and Southampton are insisting boy returns to Southampton to have 2 courses of chemo before having ( suddenly useful ) proton beam stuff.
    Can’t see family wanting to set foot in Southampton Hospital and hospital may yet try face saving heavy handedness.

  48. 48
    Little Tim McGuire says:

    Piers nowadays seem to catch fire and burn to the ground. I see no reason why this one should be any different.

  49. 49
    Anonymous says:

    That needs putting on giant poster in every town in England

  50. 50
    Anonymous says:

    Is that why they demand that all health visitors, social workers and council staff should now speak Urdu? Ask one – they will tell you ‘customers’ refuse to be spoken to in English. Very arse-about-tit way to go about integration!

  51. 51
    Aardvark says:

    He has blood on his hands – the blood of British troops.

    should have been tried for treason.

  52. 52
    Oh, really? says:

    A twister playing Twister. How apposite.

  53. 53
    In the year 2525 says:

    He twists and turns like Cameron on a referendum question.

  54. 54
    set54f5ew says:

    Hello Moshe!

  55. 55
    Don't come back Piers says:

  56. 56
    Guest says:

  57. 57
    CNN + Piers Morgan = FAIL says:

  58. 58
    CNN + Piers Morgan = FAILED says:

  59. 59
    carlo gambino says:

    I feel sorry for Morgan.

    He thinks that everyone who hates him actually just pretend to hate him, but actually they like him.

    He’s wrong – they/ we really do hate him

  60. 60
    táxpáyér says:

    Self Defence group the NRA will be laughing at Pro-Criminal (cos he is one) Piers’ loss.

  61. 61

    Schrodders —

    Talking of fat arses .

    One of the Ten Commandments — the ninth I think — says

    Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour s goods or his wife nor her ass.

  62. 62

    Can he speak ” truth to power ” whilst “hiding in plain sight”

    ( well with his dimensions the second is a given )

  63. 63
    Achmed the dead terrorist says:

    i may be a racist but that’s better than being a fat fugly woman!

  64. 64

    Welll….er….y e e e e s. That s why the man has to go !

    (indeed if you ll pardon the phrasing he should never have …….come!!)

  65. 65
    ron Vibbentrop says:

    He is the organ grinder’s monkey

  66. 66
    ron Vibbentrop says:

    The Quebec/Canada YES vote lost 49.5% to 50.5% and this twat in Downing Street cannot see it is going to the wire. Anyone got the contract for barbed wire and mines and for building the customs posts?

  67. 67
    Tom Catesby . says:

    Christmas is on the horizon yet again, loads of work as one of Santa’s little helpers.

  68. 68
    Tom Catesby . says:

    In appointing such persons to any public body, the mozzie principal of, ‘taqqiah*’ should be taken into consideration.
    *Taqqiah—- the practice of lying to non-mozzies.

  69. 69
    Tom Catesby . says:

    Sounds like more child abuse then, do you think that’s what Cameroon means by,’British asian way of life?’

  70. 70
    Tom Catesby . says:

    That foul and insane statement by Cameron, should be used as a great political stick to beat him with at all and every opportunity.

  71. 71
    Tom Catesby . says:

    No doubt Millipede will agree with the sentiments in Cameron’s foul statement.

  72. 72
    Tom Catesby . says:

    I assume when the Kings have dealt with the more important business of getting their child the proper treatment he needs, they may wish to take the best possible advice from our learned ‘friends’. No expense spared, as doubtless the NHS and Hampshire cops will be paying up.

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Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

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