September 3rd, 2014

PMQs Order Paper: Quitting Chris Kelly to Question Cam

Douglas Carswell’s decision to do the honourable thing means we will likely be denied a box office showdown with the PM for a few more weeks. There is however a question for the departing Chris Kelly on today’s PMQs order paper:

Oral Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Eric Joyce (Falkirk)

Q2 Mr Jim Cunningham (Coventry South) 

Q3 Stephen Metcalfe (South Basildon and East Thurrock) 

Q4 Kerry McCarthy (Bristol East) 

Q5 Mr Tom Watson (West Bromwich East) 

Q6 Ms Diane Abbott (Hackney North and Stoke Newington) 

Q7 Richard Drax (South Dorset) 

Q8 Dr Matthew Offord (Hendon)

Q9 Dr Alasdair McDonnell (Belfast South) 

Q10 Lindsay Roy (Glenrothes)

Q11 Jim Shannon (Strangford) 

Q12 Karl Turner (Kingston upon Hull East)

Q13 Mark Menzies (Fylde) 

Q14 Chris Kelly (Dudley South)

Kelly famously denied bursting into tears during his last showdown with Dave in 2010. And emotions are still running high among Tory backbenchers…


  1. 1
    M­a­­q­b­o­­ul says:

    Mr Joyce gets first crack.

  2. 2
    Johann Lamont says:

    I wonder if this will come up?
    I hope not – those Nats are already winning

  3. 3
    Dare not speak its name says:

    The tories love a crack.

  4. 4
    Eyes raised everywhere says:

    I’m sure IS are quaking in their boots as that pompous cow Thornberry spouts her guff on Daily politics.

  5. 5
    Fruitcake, swivel eyed loon, closet racist, crackpot, crank and gadfly says:

    The usual suspects are out in force today. Joyce, Twatson & Abbotapotamus.

    And if that wasn’t bad enough Emily Atealltheberries is on DP.

  6. 6
    Just sayin` says:

    With his new hair dye Cleggy seems to be turning into an Eric Joyce lookalike and therefore even more of a fist magnet.

  7. 7
    Mitch says:

    See they’ve got her sat at a table. Possibly to support the weight?

  8. 8
    Thoyce Jacker says:

    Far too many white faces! Harrumph

  9. 9
    Douglas Carswell says:

    I demand a recount.

  10. 10
    R0therham's enrichment says:

    So do we!

  11. 11
    Fruitcake, swivel eyed loon, closet racist, crackpot, crank and gadfly says:

    Someone needs to give Thornberry a good slap, rude bitch. Keep quiet while I’m talking but I’m going to keep talking over you and pulling faces at the camera.

    She’s entitled to her views but ignorance oozes out her every pore, not to mention her pie hole.

  12. 12
    Owen Jones is a cunt says:

    Alcoholic Eric Joyce? Fatso Watson who’s been silent on Rotheram? Piggy Abbott? Looks like the freaks are out in force today.

  13. 13
    Jezza says:

    Where’s that fat lump Abbot today – she’s normally said something fcuking stupid by mid morning most days

  14. 14
    Bobby Charlton says:

    What’s happened to Dave’s bald patch? Miracle-Gro?

  15. 15
    Big Yin says:

    They are getting on with it now.

  16. 16
    Fruitcake, swivel eyed loon, closet racist, crackpot, crank and gadfly says:

    Steven Metcalfe, another dead man walking.

  17. 17
    Anonymous says:

    Has Ed Balls, sitting next to Mili lost weight ?

  18. 18
    Wombat fancier says:

    Evil Cooper looking grim…

  19. 19
    Ho Hum says:

    Ed going for the dull dull dull statesman thing.


  20. 20
    Blahblahfuckingblah says:

    At this most critical time for the country, first PMQs after their long break, I find myself, a political anorak, thoroughly disinterested in anything those two wankers, Cameron and Miliband, are saying.
    The two of them feigning concern, whilst both clueless what to do.

  21. 21
    Wombat fancier says:

    NO Ed, killing terrorists is the best way to deal with them.

  22. 22
    Persona non grata says:

    Have Dave and Ed agreed to waffle on about IS for 30 mins, thereby avoiding any difficult subjects, Rotherham etc. This is obviously a staged debate?

  23. 23

    Hopefully more pressure onto Bercow

  24. 24
    Ho Hum says:

    Not to mention Cameron as well.

    Double boooooooooring.

  25. 25
    Wombat fancier says:

    nuke ISIL. then Labour

  26. 26
    Ho Hum says:

    It would certainly seem so.

  27. 27
    Keitho says:

    I don’t know what they have done withe Ed Miliband but this new guy seems quite decent.

  28. 28
    Bellum says:

    The whiter and poorer the better.

  29. 29
    Together says:

    We’re all in it. Not.

  30. 30
    Anonymous says:

    I thought the same

  31. 31
    Havocman says:

    Good God, Dianne Abbott in sensible question shocker……

  32. 32
    No resignations says:

    1400 was just a blip.

  33. 33
    whoopee cushion says:

    gosh! sense from abbopotamus

  34. 34
    Pie eater and pie woman says:

    I wonder if Hattie felt Abbot’s hot breath as she asked that question….

  35. 35
    M­a­­q­b­o­­ul says:

    Easy, they’ve just dyed the top of his head black.

  36. 36
    Fruitcake, swivel eyed loon, closet racist, crackpot, crank and gadfly says:

    And who exactly was in Government & in charge of Rotherham when all this happened you stupid fat cow?

  37. 37
    Persona non grata says:

    Ex*ro saying Scotland yard refusing to prosecute 200 cases of child a*se centred around HOC, for fear of revolt.

  38. 38
  39. 39
    Anonymous says:

    And what will the UK Government actually DO ?

  40. 40
    Havocman says:

    Same as it ever was.

  41. 41
    Owen Jones is a cunt says:

    I’m not near a tv at the moment, what did she ask?

  42. 42
    Hypocrisy cam says:

    So how many EAWs have been issued to return IRA terrorists who have evaded justice and live comfortably and free in the Republic of Ireland?

  43. 43
    Winston says:

    David Cameron in 2006:

    “The gaps in the labour market are, very naturally, being filled by migrant workers. That, in itself, is a good thing, not a bad thing.”

    David Cameron now:

    “It is time to say “no” to immigrants taking jobs in British factories.”

  44. 44

    S’upreme I’mbecile is not handling the EAW case very well, and seems to be defending R’otherham CSA.

    Why is Dave working for Labour ?

    Vote UKIP :-D

  45. 45
    Anonymous says:

    She has raised the issue of the unaccountable Local Government Officials.
    A crucial subject which needs raising to towards the top of Central Government’s agenda

  46. 46
    boredhousehusband says:

    It wasn’t her, it was her new wig what did it

  47. 47
    boredhousehusband says:

    Teresa May in red today. Often times it’s leopard print. High heel ‘fuck me’ shoes.

    Is she a bit of a goer? Always looks twitchy as if she expects to be exposed as a sexual deviant at any moment. What’s the gossip?

    Any pics of her as a young lady?

  48. 48
    Anonymous says:

    Who has authority / the will to make this happen ?

  49. 49
    Havocman says:

    She asked about the staff and management at Rotherham Council and asked why no-one was going to be sacked or resign.

  50. 50
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    she sounded angry, pity she could ask what Cameron proposes to do about the destruction Of files, and the inaction by a Labour Council & SYP.

  51. 51
    Anonymous says:

    Bit like London really

  52. 52
    Persona non grata says:

    I suppose Theresa May ultimately, but she won’t will she.

  53. 53
    Havocman says:

    Hague looking suspiciously like a night club bouncer today.

  54. 54
    Concerned Parent says:

    Please don’t put that Thornberry woman on screen before the 9 pm watershed. Think of the children!

  55. 55
    Desperate Dan says:

    have you had a new prescription for your beer googles?

  56. 56

    Why did Dave fail to mention the hostage problem that cropped up in L’ibya under his watch ?

    Vote UKIP :-D

  57. 57
    Anonymous says:

    Cameron to scared to mention the words “Pakistani Muslims”.

    He is a disgrace.

  58. 58
    boredhousehusband says:

    I didn’t say “I would”, mate!

    She don’t look like she’d push back much…

  59. 59
    whoopee cushion says:

    good that Dave mentioned racism and political correctness

  60. 60
    Anonymous says:

    Cameron to scared to mention the words “P@ak 1stan1 Mu51ims”.

  61. 61
    Anonymous says:

    Dave, what about the 100’s of millions ISIS are earning by selling oil you stupid fcuktoid !

  62. 62
    Kill the root says:

    N ü k e S a ü d i A r @ b i a

  63. 63
    Rupert says:

    Another little Pommie pansy who is pissed off because he didn’t go as far as he wanted to

  64. 64
    whoopee cushion says:

    southampton spokesman is lying

  65. 65
    The Nobel Peace Prize Committee says:

    That went well.

  66. 66
    Winston says:

    Andrew Norfolk of the Times:

    “I didn’t want the story to be true because it made me deeply uncomfortable. The suggestion that men from a minority ethnic background were committing sex crimes against white children was always going to be the far right’s fantasy story come true. Innocent white victims, evil dark-skinned abusers. Liberal angst kicked instinctively into top gear”.

    For 20yrs the politicians, media and the Police let children be raped, using the above justification.

  67. 67
    She was only a vicar's daughter says:

    Stern librarian look from 1997.

    But Vicar’s daughters were supposed to be rebels…

  68. 68
    Labour Party Insider says:

    He always was and always will be a lightweight. No intelligence or intellectual power whatsoever.

  69. 69
    Winston says:

    Andrew Norfolk of the Times:

    “I didn’t want the story to be true because it made me deeply uncomfortable. The suggestion that men from a minority ethn*c background were committing s*x crimes against white children was always going to be the far right’s fantasy story come true. Innocent white victims, evil dark-skinned abusers. Liberal angst kicked instinctively into top gear”.

    For 20yrs the politicians, media and the Police let children be r*ped, using the above justification.

  70. 70
    Anon & VOTING for UKIP in May 2015 GE & LE says:

    Gideon looking like he was totally spaced out

    or maybe he had kaked himself, yet again…….

    maybe both…..

  71. 71
  72. 72
    Havocman says:

    Thornberry currently being handed her not inconsiderable arse by Brillo.

  73. 73
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    The Tories should bring in 3 new bills to parliament in the run-up to the general election and dare Liebore and the FibDemons to vote them down.

    1. Immediate abolition of the telly tax to ease the cost of living on the poor and squeezed middle.

    2. Freeze the council tax for a further 5 years to ease the cost of living for the poor and squeezed middle (No loop holes allowed by councils, they must by law freeze the council tax).

    3. Bring in a new crime of public sector manslaughter, so that relatives of those abused at Stafford hospital can take legal action (special legal aid fund available) against those responsible and have them jailed.

    If the bills pass then the Tories get all the credit.

    If Liebore/FibDemons vote these bills down then the Tories will have a big stick with which to beat them in the election campaign.

    Also the Tories should run an updated version of their brilliantly successful 1992 tax bombshell campaign :-)

  74. 74
    Fruitcake, swivel eyed loon, closet racist, crackpot, crank and gadfly says:

    Heard it all now. Thornberry just moaned at Brillo for ‘not being able to get a word in’.

    The woman is clearly mad and needs sectioning.

  75. 75
    Pompous says:

    Pompous cow

  76. 76
    Prompter says:

    Go on Geedes, give us a laugh. Do one on Blair being awarded the title of Philanthropist of the Year.

  77. 77
    Diane Abbotopotamus says:

    It’s a weave you WAAAYCIST!

  78. 78
    Someone says:

    Care to expand on that comment?

  79. 79
    Norm Normal says:

    Thornberry still digging the hole. Has no clue of the primary role of government – protecting it’s citizens.

    Says legal principles come before lives. As was pointed out to the daft cow, that is why laws and international agreements can be changed and renegotiated.

  80. 80
    whoopee cushion says:

    the hesitant manner in which he gave his explanation of what happened, especially the statement that they were in discussion with the parents about allowing proton beam therapy was not the manner of a person communicating facts.

  81. 81
    Norm Normal says:

    Defended the human rights of terrorists more vigorously than the safty of the British Public.

    Typical Labour!

  82. 82
    Owen Jones is a cunt says:

    Wow. Rather daring of her to ask. I have a feeling Labour’s whips will be having a word with her about mentioning a Labour embarrassment.

  83. 83
    boredhousehusband says:

    ooh, blimey, that’s a rough photo!

  84. 84
    boredhousehusband says:

    an odd fried egg necklace…

    Is it a secret kinky code, I wonder

  85. 85
    Mr Quelch says:

    Uninterested. Disinterested means neutral.

  86. 86
    Thumping Time by handy says:

    Bar opened early to accomondate “preparation facility”!

  87. 87
    Graham Swift says:

    Presumably Eric Joyce was getting pissed in the bar rather than crossing the bar in the Commons.

  88. 88
    geordieboy says:

    Because they are all serial Labour troughers with their heads in the sand.

  89. 89
    One votes UKIP says:

    Deals made.
    Silence given.
    Liblabcon proceed are normal.
    As does the ra’ping.

  90. 90
    One votes UKIP says:

    “Far Right” what a cock.

    There may be rac1sts, but that does not make them far right, and being on the right does not make one a rac1st – and that’s before we consider the 3rd dimension of freedom / authoritarianism.

  91. 91
    Anonymous says:

    And what a nice, well-adjusted, person you turned out to be.

  92. 92
    Anonymous says:

    Good to see there is no hint of sexism on this site.

  93. 93
    Anonymous says:

    But are they still acting like US neo-CONS – pushing for a Cold War with Russia?

  94. 94

    Looks to me that the widow’s peaks are shaking hands and an “Island” is already well-formed. With the variety of “events” barrelling along, “blonde-streaks from a bottle” Dave will be going seriously thin and grey soon. It will be interesting to see his expenses on hair preparations, steroids, etc. After a while, no matter how much he pays, they can’t actually cut what isn’t there!

  95. 95

    Unaccountable? Central Government can make two men “married”, it can sort out (polite-speak for “really fuck with” the likes of Thacker and those cronies who have implemented her “superior orders” (which are no more an authority for breaking a whole shed-load of serious criminal laws…conspiracy to pervert the course of justice, aiding, abetting, counselling or procuring living off immoral earnings, trafficking children. In fact the indictment could run to several chapters and “just following orders” is mitigation not a defence.

  96. 96

    Of course, when they aren’t British factories having been built with foreign money they are full of foreign workers with British visas, so they don’t appear on “migration” figures, for which read “net immigration figures”.

  97. 97

    Hair of Blair?

    Vote UKIP :-D

    Then do it again :-)

  98. 98
    Wasted apostrophe watch says:

    *its citizens, not it’s citizens.

  99. 99
    Lord Duckhouse of Pondlife says:

    Classic quote from her today: “I’m not getting a word in edgeways”.

  100. 100
    Anonymous says:

    “Quitting Chris Kelly to Question Cam”
    On whether his promise of an EU referendum was any more credible than virgins in heaven?

  101. 101
    Sharon Jenkins says:

    I think it is evil to be attracted to evil men. Many women end up with wife beaters because they see evil as manly sexy. That is sick and creepy.

  102. 102
    Anonymous says:

    How is zero hours contracts and self employment a gap?

    I have Zygigoglou on standby 24/7.

    He’s self employed but has no work.

    It’s an employment charade.

    Like Parliament.

    Oh………. that London. It’s a different world.

Seen Elsewhere

Users of Gay Hook-Up App Grindr Infected | TechnoGuido
ISIS Raising Funds Online Using Bitcoin | TechnoGuido
UKIP’s Youth Challenge | BBC
ISIS Operative: This Is How We Send Jihadis To Europe | BuzzFeed
Shapps Defends Bashir Defection | Seb Payne
Tory Leadership Contenders Jostle Over Europe | Alex Wickham
Cutting Taxes is Good For You | Art Laffer
Suspects Will Now Have to Prove Innocence | Laura Perrins
Labour Cllr: Cops Shouldn’t Stop Petrol Thieves | HandF Forum
Creeping Cultural Acceptance of Anti-Semitism | Eric Pickles
Time For Greece to Leave Eurozone | Allister Heath

Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,717 other followers