September 2nd, 2014

Through the Keyhole With Lindsay Hoyle

If things do take a turn for the worse for Bercow, the favourite to succeed him is Lindsay Hoyle. With all the grace and favour perks that come with the Speakership – including a huge apartment in Parliament – it’s easy to see why anyone would want the job, and Lindsay has a taste for luxury already. Take a look through the keyhole and see what is to live like a Labour MP (turned Deputy Speaker).

Let no one question Lindsay’s taste, he has decorated his house to look like a House of Commons bar. Guido is pretty sure that bar (complete with snooker table) is a replica of a Commons drinking hole. The grand piano is a classy touch too, it goes nicely with the carpet. All in all Lindsay’s humble abode boasts 5 bedrooms, 2 reception Rooms plus a music room, games room and “leisure complex with swimming pool”.

And it doesn’t stop there. Even though Hoyle says he is “seeing so many families” in his Chorley constituency “in dire straits” using food banks, that hasn’t stopped him from applying for planning permission for a grand orangery and “a single storey rear glazed link” to his pool. It is clearly not tough for everyone in Chorley.


  1. 1
    nell says:

    and all at our expense !!!

    Let us hope if there is a change of sp e a k er it will not be this flashy immodest man!

  2. 2
    Joannie Taylor says:

    What a fucking liberty

  3. 3
    Dippy & George says:

    Congratulations, dear reader! As of this morning, you have racked up an extra £539 in debt. No, you haven’t just bought a new wardrobe. You haven’t made a deposit on a winter break. And it’s not because of that heavy eBay session where you overbid for a signed Bulgarian copy of Wet Wet Wet’s first LP.

    Nor are you alone. I’m another 539 quid in the red too – as are each of the other 63 million Britons. Put all those sums together and the entire country has just lost £34bn. How did we manage that? The short answer is that some statisticians made it so. The Office for National Statistics has decided that, under new accounting rules, Network Rail can no longer be called a private company. It was always borrowing on the state’s behalf, and if anything went wrong with Network Rail, it was always going to be taxpayers who would be on the hook. So as of this week it goes on the public balance sheet, its £34bn of debt now indelibly inked next to our names.

  4. 4
    Gorgeous George says:

    He need’s a slap !

  5. 5
    Wikipedia says:

    Preceded by Ben Dover

  6. 6
    Trougher says:

    But, but, if he plays the role of a Labour man of the people, his true circumstances don’t matter at all to his typical voter.
    That can all be overlooked, because Fatchur fucked over the miners etc……

  7. 7

    Constructing a swimming pool as a separate building and then linking it to the house later was a VAT dodge at one time.

  8. 8
    Bellum says:

    I hope he remembers to put water in his pool before he dives in.

    On the other hand….

  9. 9

    Soviet Space Sex Gekko Update:

    Vote UKIP :-D

  10. 10
    whoopee cushion says:


  11. 11

    Good. Now they should add on all the other off-balance-sheet borrowing, such as the Private Finance Initiative and unfunded public-sector pension schemes.

  12. 12
    M­a­­q­b­o­­ul says:

    Why do we need to pay for 650 of these people?

  13. 13
    Anonymous says:

    Does he keep coal in t’pool cos there’s no water in it?

  14. 14
    Anonymous says:


  15. 15
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    Looking at the pictures of his “humble abode”, it looks as though he will fit the job perfectly.

    There are so many troughers in Parliament, I doubt anyone would notice if one left and another took his place?

  16. 16
    Anonymous says:

    J’ewish carer denies George Galloway attack

    “A J’ewish carer denied repeatedly punching George Galloway in the face because he “was an enemy to Judaism.”

    Former BBC manager Neil Masterson, 39, is alleged to have shouted about the h’olocaust as Mr Galloway posed for pictures with members of the public in Golborne Road, Notting Hill.”

  17. 17

    The Yamaha piano: A0 to C8 in only 3.3 seconds.

  18. 18
    Big D says:

    Ghastly decor .Dead common .
    Ive been in working mens clubs with better taste .
    Goodness knows what he would do to an flat in Parliament .
    A match for Sally from our Alleys bed sheet frolics !

  19. 19
    P l e b says:

    Rona Fairhead is to replace Lord Patten as boss of the BBC (chairwoman of the BBC Trust.)

    She obtained a degree from Harvard Business School.

    Her early business career was spent at Bain & Company and Morgan St@nley in the 1980s before she moved to British Aerospace and eventually the Financial Times Group.

    She is a non-executive director of HSBC Holdings.

    Allegedly, she is J.o.o.i.s.h.

  20. 20
    Back1woodsman says:

    I’m afraid so. He obviously didn’t use Quango Towers as his inspiration.

  21. 21
    The Growler says:

    “Take a look through the keyhole and see what is to live like a Labour MP (turned Deputy Speaker).” but quite ok for a Tory boy with lots of money plus expenses, Fawkesy you really should stop being so envious, of our hard working MPs

  22. 22
    Who put the twat into Tower Hamlets says:

    Mayor pisses ratepayers’ money up against the wall.

    Will the likes of Thacker and Co do the same?

  23. 23
    Bill Quango MP says:


  24. 24
    Look at the timing Jimmy Savile was outed for a reason says:

    They will lump any inquiry in with the ‘Butler Sloss’ celeb child abuse thingy and conclude that race/religion didn’t play a part because we’re all as bad as each other.

  25. 25
    The Growler says:

    You can’t do that, Gideon and chums are using PFI’s themselves, you could always emigrate to Americaland where all is loveliness and hunky dory, what, what.

  26. 26
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    As a member of the working class I have to say how proud I am to see a fellow worker troughing it – hoping he enjoys it before we stand him up against the wall.

  27. 27
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    “A J’ewish carer denied repeatedly punching George Galloway in the face because he “was an enemy to Judaism.”

    Maybe he did he because he just hates the bearded fucker.

  28. 28
    Leftie hypocrisy says:

    So its fine then is it? you lefties really let them eat cake. Your Tory boy as you put it normally does it through bloody hard graft in the private sector taking financial risk after risk working long hours creating employment and wealth as a result for themselves and in taxes to the country You obviously have never even been in such a situation.

    Nothing like a labour MP then who comes up as a student , bag carrier on the public tit until they become an MP and complain about food banks while destroying prosperity, putting millions out of work and killing millions more on dodgy dossiers.

  29. 29
    The Growler says:

    And just imagine the amount when HS2 is finally finished, that will not be in my life time, probably +£100Billion

  30. 30
    whoopee cushion says:

    hmm difficult choice richard bacon or the archers.
    dum de dum de dum de dum.

  31. 31
    Anonymous says:

    Leave Bercow in place for now.

    But he could be made to sweat out the rest of his term, if the Conservatives declare soon that Boris Johnson will stand for Bercow’s seat 2015. (I’m sure his local association would welcome that).

    The House then elects a new speaker for the new term, Hoyle shunted aside.

  32. 32
    The Growler says:

    What has Bend Over got to do with it?

  33. 33
    Schrödinger's cat says:

    Anyone remember Viz running a “Through the Bum Hole” strip with Roger Mellie, first episode starring Tony Slatery?

    No. Just me then…

  34. 34
    Mornington Crescent says:

    …in 0.3 seconds with Sally draped across it.

  35. 35
    Norm Normal says:

    Yes but our Labour Lordships plead piety and solidarity with the common man and hard working families blah blah blah.

    It was them that made it a perceived crime to be wealthy and well educated.

    When most Labour grandees are such.

  36. 36
    Anonymous says:

    Labour rewriting history again. One wonders as the polls are so close now that labour are shitting themselves

  37. 37
    Who put the twat into Tower Hamlets says:

    Meg Munn MP failing to ask how the publicly funded Rotherham Council’s child protection policies failed so many.

    It isn’t anything to do with profits.

    Proof perhaps that Labour are trying to shout look wolves, there, there and there.

  38. 38
    Anonymous says:

    To be fair the IRak enquiry finished years ago and still fuckall

  39. 39
    Ctesibius says:

    Please let him have a Duck House. Not that the BBC’s ‘comedians’ would take any notice of that.

  40. 40
    idon'tneednodoctor says:

    I do hope Galloway is still in pain.

  41. 41
    Anonymous says:

    Praise where it is due.

    The Guido team have done well on this scandal.

    So, in the national interest, I’m sure they would consider:

    A “Save Dave” campaign post-Carswell, in the same vein as their so successful “Save Miliband” cambaign.

    It would help to have both party leaders still in place, when UKIP contest 2015.

  42. 42
    Mornington Crescent says:


    …having browsed the web and seen the way the wind is blowing first.

    Well, it’s your dear Europe’an Arrest Warrant that’s (partly) at fault, you fucking little quisling.

  43. 43
    Anonymous says:

    Politics was always a dirty business but this Labour lot have taken it to whole new levels.
    The Tories are maintaining some decency but to win they may just have to get into the gutter and fight Labour on their home territory.

  44. 44
    The Growler says:

    Maybe for not much longer, if the Jocks say yes. There will still probably be too many, reduce their numbers to 500.

  45. 45
    idon'tneednodoctor says:

    You find yourself alone and not alone at the same time.

  46. 46
    Anonymous says:

    To busy reporting on Plod lying entirely over plebgate.

    Oh wait a minute…?

  47. 47
    Norm Normal says:

    It’s life Jim, but not as we used to know it.

    What’s the Russian affinity with gekkos, sticky fingers?

  48. 48
    idon'tneednodoctor says:

    Labour, what are they good for, absolutely nothing, say it again.

  49. 49
    Dougie Carswell says:

    Stoppit you two, I laughed so much I spat coffee all over my keyboard!!

  50. 50
    mraemiller says:

    A bit unfair. He’s clearly fallen on hard times. Cant afford to fill the swimming pool.

  51. 51
    Contender for comment of the day? says:

    If you ever wondered how suicide bombers operate? This is the quote

    “They didn’t tell me anything about what I was doing or where I was. I just had to press the button.”

    You just couldn’t make it up…

  52. 52
    Just in case we forget says:

    Labour invented foodbanks

  53. 53
    Prime Minister David Cameron looking resplendent with a Hi Vis jacket and a custom made fart flap says:

    Vote early and vote often! :0)

  54. 54
    Just in case we forget says:

    One only has to look at smear gate. Nasty pieces of work and they are all still there biding their time

  55. 55
    To the right says:

    What a twee little slide.

  56. 56
    Jelly Gibson with makeup says:

    They won’t vote yes they are to frit to do so. Bunch o’ Jessie’s really.

  57. 57
    Anonymous says:


    Quentin Letts on form today re Bercow, in Dmail.

    Refers to “Noriega face”.

    Sally shouldn’t have started this game.

  58. 58
    Taxpayer says:

    At least we now know where all the subsidized HoC booze goes to.

  59. 59
    Marie Antoinette says:

    He’s a got a lot of balls.

  60. 60
    The Hoyley Grail says:

    Hoyle ran his own textile printing business before he became an MP.

  61. 61
    Norm Normal says:

    It’s not a swimming pool. It’s a storage pit for dodgy campaign money.

  62. 62
    DenDen says:

    At that price you could extend the f_cker to Mars. Be worth using then so long as you didn’t have to hang round in that sh_t hole Birmingham.

  63. 63
    The Growler says:

    Anony, the polls always do, in any case who answers the opinion polls anyway, I have never been stopped and asked which way I might vote and I have been eligible to vote since 1966.

  64. 64
    Norm Normal says:

    Typical Beeboid employee type, only doing half a job.

  65. 65
    Anonymous says:

    Letts also noted two absentees when Bercow spoke yesterday;

    Eagle and Hodge

  66. 66
    DenDen says:

    Surely there must have been a que to twat the c_nt?

  67. 67
    Elf n Safety Officer says:

    Bloody hell, the tatty plastic curved pool slide looks rather precarious. He’s obviously a man for whom ticking the possessions box is more important than quality.
    Let’s hope he slips off it and breaks his fucking neck.

    A decent indoors/outdoors public pool beats a grubby sweaty private one any day — but unfortunately the money was channeled away from general sports to Soviet style funding for “elite brand” athletes and Olympics in the way we used to mock the Soviet-bloc, China, N.Korea, Mussolini etc for.

  68. 68
    George "jaw jaw" Galloway says:

    Holy fuckin shit

  69. 69
    The Growler says:

    I wonder if any Jocks in the HoC and HoL have the right to vote, you know the one with a celtic type name and if Scotland votes yes with they sent back to place of their birth, ock I the noo whatever

  70. 70
    DenDen says:

    Has he got ones of those statues of a naked woman with the simulated veil of water droplets? The position of Speaker has just followed the decline of the whole HoC to be expected.

  71. 71
    incident 215 22nd dec 2004 says:

    explain this aberdeen pigs…

  72. 72
    whoopee cushion says:

    how long does it take Crown Prosecution Service to review the King debacle ?
    was the European Arrest Warrant correctly issued ?
    or is it decided that although correctly issued because of assumptions it is now evident there is no neglect by the Kings, far from it.
    In which case arrest warrant has no validity, remove it.

  73. 73
    Vlad the Loudhailer says:

    Politicians that use public funds to hire lawyers and PR companies to defend their wrong doing, should be personally liable for all the costs when they are found guilty. Tower Hamlets, Rotherham and Bercow immediately spring to mind.

  74. 74
    Norm Normal says:

    We are governed by committee dear, it’s democracy in action. It takes them a week to decide if they are having sugar in their tea or not.

    That’s why the dictators always end up 1 step ahead.

  75. 75
  76. 76
    The two Muppets says:

    Lindsay Hoyle would make an excellent Speaker ,He is impartial
    and fair as has been proved many times in the Commons .
    As far as his house is concerned ,he was in business before
    he came into politics .One of the very few Labour politicians
    who had a real job .

  77. 77
    The two Muppets says:

    HS2 will never come about ,Whoever gets in next year will be forced
    to abandon the whole scheme because of financial restraints and more
    important priorities .

  78. 78

    What about.HS2 @£90 milion and rising. oney could used to pay off the National Debt or do and raise some money for the long suffering Taxpayer

  79. 79
    Only labour says:

    eeee eck, it’s grim oop north for yon mon, wat wi im not avin ‘t’ orangery yet. Like rest of us ave.

  80. 80
    Catcher t'Rye says:

    BTW, he is not working class, he is the son of a Lord, Lord Hoyle of Warrington, a labour political dynasty and was privately educated.

  81. 81
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    You should the one at CCHQ. Olympic size.

  82. 82
    I Remember, I Remember says:

    Ah yes, good old Doug “Wet Lips” Hoyle [(c) P.Eye]:

    Who says Labour Red Dynasty is a new thing?

    Vote UKIP.

  83. 83

    Well… if he did SUCCESSFULLY run his own textile business –I assume in UK as opposed to an offshore sweatshop — then he made honest profit and could explain where the money for the house comes from .

    But the textile industry in the UK has been in freefall for the last 25 years with many firms going under .

    Are we sure his wasn t one of them ??

  84. 84

    ” Let the train take the blame ” !

  85. 85

    It s the name of the new railhead being constructed near the white cliffs to take the political asylum/illegal immigrant daily intake from Sangatte on a direct route in to Lunar House Croydon .

    I understand air conditioning and a free buffet service are standard on the planned new rolling Pendolino type rolling stock.

  86. 86
    Anonymous says:

    Labour’s “cost-of-living crisis” on show.

    Won’t look good if opponents use it in election material.

    He may not be a “toff”, but sure embraces what he sees as a toff’s lifestyle.

  87. 87
    Fabian DuLalli says:

    ee when I were a lad, it use to be t’dream of every union member ‘at one day we’d all of us ‘av oor own grand orangery.

  88. 88
    cynic says:

    Its a cost of living crisis

    But looking at how tacky it is can you imagine what he gets up to in there

    I mean — your own bar like so mock mock Tudor pub. For Gawds sake

  89. 89
  90. 90

    Aye! Eye?

    Vote UKIP :-D

  91. 91
    cynic says:

    His CV is interesting fopr what is missing. Theres a huge gap between the point when he reached 18 in 1975 and going into Politics the late 90s – but not a word about what he did then

    Where was he for almost 20 years? Down t’pit? Inside? Selling shares in t’City? Representing the downtrodden masses at the Bar?

    Did he just marry well? Or win the lottery? And why is he now so coy about it?

    Is it all modesty? We should be told. Anyone know?

  92. 92
    Anonymous says:

    I hope he took advantage of the Governments Help to Buy Scheme in acquiring that.

    I hear he has at least put down a deposit on the lavatory.

    Fair play to him.

    For climbing greasy poles you need rough hands.

  93. 93
    Rupert says:

    Remember Lord Irving one of Miranda’s boyfriends?. He had £500 rolls of wallpaper on the walls of his shitouse. Thats Labour for you a bunch of hypocritical arseholes

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