August 26th, 2014

Gravy Train Stops at No. 10 for Transport Super Salary
No. 10’s Head of News Heads to Siberia

Three weeks ago Guido reported:

“DfT are offering a budget-busting £770-a-day to their new Director of Communications, which, if he or she works 240 days a year, puts the successful applicant on £184,800. Making them considerably better paid than the Secretary of State. Talk about jumping on the high-speed gravy train…”

Well all aboard for Scot Marchbank, one time Deputy Spokesman to the PM and latterly N0. 10’s Head of News. It’s one heck of a promotion in cash terms and into the Whitehall wilderness in terms of power. Guido is suspicious of the timing. Jumped, or pushed? You choo-choose.


  1. 1
    Diane Abbottopotamus says:


  2. 2
    Public Sector Failure says:

    Another example of the public sector hosing our money down the drain.

  3. 3
    Speed is verboton says:

    I always thought we lived in a democracy, seems to be a democracy only for MPs and PMs and uncivil servants, we are just the slaves for these people to extract money from and they have the nerve to advertise how slavery is bad for other people coming from other countries.

  4. 4
    Yasmin Kureshy - Labour MP says:

    Soon we shall fly the black flag insha’allah.

  5. 5
    £ says:


  6. 6
    Norm Normal says:

    This will also be the last time you hear anything from or about him.

  7. 7
    idon'tneednodoctor says:

    What did we actually learn from Salmond during the debate last night. Nothing, apart from he is still as slippery as an eel.

  8. 8
    idon'tneednodoctor says:

    Soon you will be burnt black.

  9. 9
    Silly Me says:

    This is a bit off innit? Couldn’t we have found a colonial with no quali’s for this?

    Fuck me, sorry I forgot, it’s “Jobs for the Boys”

  10. 10

    What will he actually DO ?

  11. 11
    Rule of thumb says:

    Good news never needs spinning.

  12. 12
    Silly Me says:

    Take the money and do as he’s told perhaps?

  13. 13
    idon'tneednodoctor says:

    To all those brits thinking of carrying out jihad in Syria or Iraq, hurry up and get out there. By the way don’t come back.

  14. 14
  15. 15
    Toxic Labour for Parasites, bring back the workhouses. says:

    This is why I’m paying so much tax. It’s not just the scrounging immigrants and dole bludgers, it’s the Government parasites as well.

  16. 16
    Anonymous says:

    Perhaps it’s all about pushing through the HS2 vanity project

  17. 17

    Free plastic bag with every tube of Evo-Stick next week.

    UNDER 12s ONLY

  18. 18
    idon'tneednodoctor says:

    I was thinking about this the other day. Our media just thrives on evil and bad. If there is good news on say the economy it is twisted to be bad. Can you imagine Kevin Maguire or Polly Toynbee ever reporting anything good, it would kill them.

  19. 19
    Toxic Labour for Parasites, bring back the workhouses. says:

    Yes, all mozzies please go and enjoy your stone age Caliphate in Syria now. There should just be enough time before the US starts wiping you out with raids.

  20. 20
    M Oaten says:

    Where’s the gravy?

  21. 21
    Silly Me says:

    Ahhhh, perhaps he’s the chap that is going to explain why HS2 is being diverted around the leafy and beautiful area that is Herr Osbornes constituency.

  22. 22
    The Growler says:

    Only 240 days work, hmmmm, so that means 125 days not working, don’t worry Geedes, he and Dave might not be in power after May 2015. They could always put him on a Zero Hours Contract, work only when needed on hourly pay, but of course they would then get no one.

  23. 23
    M­a­­q­b­o­­ul says:

    Why is the British Government issuing a clear IR35 type contract to an individual?

    The aim of the legislation is to eliminate the avoidance of tax and National Insurance Contributions (NICs) through the use of intermediaries, such as Personal Service Companies or partnerships, in circumstances where an individual worker would otherwise –

    * For tax purposes, be regarded as an employee of the client; and
    * For NICs purposes, be regarded as employed in employed earner’s employment by the client.

  24. 24
    BBC Pedo Ring says:

    How many times have we told you Mohammeds? It’s Ronseal, Evo-Stick gives ‘em the shits something chronic!

  25. 25
  26. 26
    Sack all politicians and hacks says:

    Probably the cost is something like
    scrounging immigrants = 10%
    All political (local +national) parasites (i.e. the lot) = 90%

  27. 27
    The Growler says:

    “I always thought we lived in a democracy”, stupid boy, next thing you will be mentioning the Magna Carta

  28. 28
    Rob Roy says:

    ah man it’s all heart and nae facts

  29. 29
    Gunga Din says:

    I is, like, well radicalise, right, innit?
    I go on dat web site and they like says that my bruvver is being killed by the American who are led by Satan.

    My bruvver is only 12 so is well against that, innit.

    Plus da law is still looking for me bout dem fags going missing from Tesco.

  30. 30
    ? says:

    We learned again that he is less concerned about Scottish independence from the UK as he is with socialist independence from any current of future Tory Government.
    He’s a red rag hiding under a Tartan flag.

  31. 31
    Rob Roy says:

    They’re dead already – from the neck up at least.

  32. 32
    Loony Left Strike Again says:

    Guido, you should get on the story about Labour’s Yasmin Quereshi saying muzees joining IS are doing “humanitarian work” and is no different to someone joining the IDF.

  33. 33
    Anonymous says:

    Truly puzzled that he overstates North Sea oil reserves by 45-60 %

    He will still be alive when the reserves run down seriously, and will be reviled in Scotland before he dies.

  34. 34
    Loony Left Strike Again says:

    Please feel free to fuck off to Syria. Drones will take care of the rest.

  35. 35
    The Growler says:

    They might be doing some fracking in Ossie’s constituency so it might be a bit dodgy combining the two.

  36. 36
    Bradford mini mart says:

    You want ciggy little girl? 40p each or packet of ten for a blow job

  37. 37
    Deport Nick Clegg says:


    “one time Deputy Spokesman to the PM”

    Does the PM really need more than one spokesman? Did/does the PM have more than one deputy spokesman? Do these spokesmen have secretaries and PAs and final-salary pension schemes?

  38. 38
    "Good muslim" is the ultimate oxymoron says:

    Muzzies joining IS are murdering thousands upon thousands of other muzzies.

    If that’s not humanitarian work, I don’t know what is.

  39. 39
    ? says:

    The real laugh is the SNP sells itself as some environmental friendly progressive outfit and then bases all it’s financial figures on oil revenue.

  40. 40
    A feminist that even the right would applaud says:

    Splendid stuff!!! I bet Laurie Penny has no comment to make, the gutless idiot.

    Egyptian feminist Aliaa Magda Elmahdy, 23, challenges the strict nature of Islam on her blog and Facebook pages. She went a step further in her protest against the Islamic State (IS) with a photo of Elmahdy and a veiled woman pooping and menstruating on the black IS flag. Arab nations did not print the photo because the flag states “there is no God but Allah.” Elmahdy did not explain why she took the photo, but she protests Islamic laws, and IS implements strict Sharia Law. Women must wear full veils and not leave the house without a male relative. The jihadists have even forced shopkeepers to fully veil all mannequins. In Raqqa, Syria, an Islamic State stronghold, a crowd stoned two women to death for allegedly committing adultery.

  41. 41
    IPS says:

    Isis Postal Services

    We called whilst you were out so have left your husband’s head in the wheelie bin.

    If you want the rest of his body redelivered call 666-religionofpeace-666

  42. 42
    Bent Warder says:

    Pssst! Anyone wanna buy a nice Hard Drive? Got some interesting stuff on it, one not very careful previous owner.

  43. 43
    Looney Left Strike Again says:

    I suppose you have a point. Just nuke the fuck out of Syria so they can’t come back and infest our shores again.

  44. 44
    Paniagua says:

    52 weeks in a year, 2 weekend days a week = 104 days

    Bank Holidays = 8

    Holiday Entitlement (typical) = 21

    104 + 8 + 21 = 133

    So a bit of a rough deal.

  45. 45

    This was similar humanitarian work, wasn’t it ?

    Vote UKIP :-D

  46. 46
    Bill Quango MP says:

    Elmahdy ?

    The winger who plays for Hull City?

  47. 47

    !srael may object to that idea as they would be downwind.

    Vote UKIP :-D

  48. 48
    idon'tneednodoctor says:

    Good point.

  49. 49

    This just shows how ridiculous it all is.

    They are paid with taxpayers money and when they fuck up they get fined by people paid with taxpayers money.


  50. 50

    Cameron’s legacy…

    ‘Television images from the scene showed militias dancing on wrecked airliners, firing machine guns in the air.’

    Could be the UK without UKIP…

    Vote UKIP :-D

  51. 51
    RED LEN says:


  52. 52
    Left wing establishment spokespersons says:

    We are too gutless to say anything derogatory about Islam even our most ‘controversial’ comedians avoid the subject.

  53. 53
    Spartacus says:

    And no meals to pay for; no transport (1st Class) to pay for; no accommodation to pay for; no . . . .

    plus daily expenses 300 pounds a day for newspapers, underground fares (!) and such . . . .

  54. 54
    what a gay dave says:

    Is there any way I can make my television automatically switch off why the begging adverts on sky are shown – and come back on when the finish

    I dread to think how many hundreds of hours of starving people ive watched over the years

  55. 55
    A feminist that even the right would applaud says:

  56. 56
    Lanzarote jellyfish says:

    Since deciding to replace Cameron as leader Boris has been determined to appeal to the Tories by sharpening his flaws

  57. 57
    A feminist that even the right would applaud says:

  58. 58
    George Galloway says:

    If thy enemy cuts your head off, offer him the other head?

  59. 59
  60. 60
    David Cameron says:

    I’m a low tax Conservative! No, really I am…

  61. 61
    Owen Jones says:

    You have the right to practise your faith.

  62. 62
  63. 63
    Lanzarote jellyfish says:

    Eddie Mair: “Let me ask you about a barefaced lie…”

    BJ: “I don’t propose to go into this again”

    EM: “Well, this goes to the question of your integrity…You tell your friend Darius Guppy you’ll supply the address..You’re a nasty piece of work aren’t you?”


    BJ:”All three things I would dispute.”

    EM: “You can’t factually dispute them, can you?”

    BJ:”Well, I do, and if we had, all three interpretations aren’t wholly fair…”

    BJ:”My dear old friend, Darius, yes it was true that he was in a bit of a state and I had a long conversation in which I humoured him and nothing in fact eventuated, and eh well, there you go…People say all sorts of fantastical things when they’re talking to their friends.”

    A nasty piece of work indeed, and if he wasn’t doing the work of the corporate media, they’d have hung this blustering, bullying, Bullingdon Blackshirt out to dry many years ago

  64. 64
    Taxpayer says:

    Because Dave & George utterly despise you & are addicted to taxing success & achievement. They want your money to keep their mates in the manner to which they’ve become accustomed…

  65. 65
    Gideoni says:

    You aint seen me. Right!

  66. 66
    Fuck the left says:

    I wonder how that c-unt Owen Jones would react if he was ever confronted by a girl who’s suffered FGM or was forced into a marriage when she was 12 to a man 4 times her age. He’s a fucking gutless useful idiot who won’t dare condemn islamists and hides behind the bullshit of “they don’t represent all muslims” but he has no problem condeming J*ws, Christians and atheists.

    Someone cart this c-unt off to Syria and see how he likes living under IS.

  67. 67
    François Hollande says:

    Help me, mes amis.
    My government is infested with stupid Owen Jones types. The whole place is going Venezuela on me!

    I’ve learned the lessons..I really have. Socialists suck! They suck everything..especially the money. God, I was so foolish to even think those commie ideas might work.

    But I learned and booted out the lefty twats.

    But now the government is sinking! help me Righties! help me before I go under! I’m reformed..truly i am..


    {glug glug glug}

  68. 68
    Bill Quango MP says:

    Is this a time warp from 2006 ?

  69. 69
    Manon_des_Source says:

    Thanks for a bit of rational analysis of the headline.

  70. 70
    CHRIST ON A BIKE! says:

    £770 per day is not excessive for a senior contract position Guido. “Skint” NHS trusts use interim Programme managers at £1000+ per day, to basically manage some failure or other.

    And at least with contractors, they don’t get training, paid leave or sick pay and no ridiculous public sector pension at the end of it. You can’t map contractor rates to permanent salaries. They are buying in a service supplier, just like any other supplier they may use.

  71. 71
    CHRIST ON A BIKE! says:

    Lefties are in a permanent timewarp. Usually somewhere in the 1920’s

  72. 72
    PAYE peon says:

    “if he or she works 240 days a year”

    Not much danger of that. Parliament sits only about 140 days a year (average 7.5 hours per day … and that includes time for a very agreeable subsidised lunch).

    Kick off 2.30pm on Monday (no sunday night comute to paid-out-of-net-earnings rented room in London like the rest of us).
    The above days include Fridays … but it’s Thursday night back home for most of them.

  73. 73
    PAYE peon says:

    Yes, but it would be more accurate to add in the additional costs of bennies to a minister

  74. 74
    Yankee Go Home says:

    “she protests Islamic laws”

  75. 75
    Saint Bob Mugeldof says:

    My first reaction was that we should start up a food bank for these people.

    But it is a universally acknowledged truth that the number of foodbank users in a country is directly proportional to the number of starving and the wickedeness of the government
    Therefore if I were to open a foodbank I would actually increase the number of starving, by giving them food, and make their government more evil.

  76. 76

    Oink oink, another nose in the trough

  77. 77

    Not bad money for a COMMIS CHEF .

    Wonder what the headwaiter trousers?

  78. 78

    As a salmon(d) surely.

  79. 79
    Anonymous says:

    “Heads to Siberia”
    Tails to Easter Island. Call it…Vanity! Vanity! Thy name is HS2.

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Alan Milburn says Labour’s scaremongering campaign for an unreformed NHS will not win election…

“It would be a fatal mistake, in my view, for Labour to go into this election looking as though it is the party that would better resource the National Health Service but not necessarily put its foot to the floor when it comes to reforming. Look, reforms are not easy, but the Labour Party is not a conservative party. It should be about moving things forward not preserving them in aspic. You have got a pale imitation actually of the 1992 general election campaign, and maybe it will have the same outcome. I don’t know.”

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