August 22nd, 2014

Too Many Tweets

Westminster Public Affairs have done their annual Twitter tot up. When they’re not on holiday, the 461 MPs online sent a total of 718,431 tweets in the last year. “Over this twelve-month period MPs spent a combined total of over 115 days (or more than 2774 hours) sending Tweets.” That’s an awful lot of time wasting… 

So who are the biggest blabbermouths?

Well apparently George Galloway – who recently described being an MP as tedious – comes out on top with 16,399 tweets.

The top-Tweeting Conservative MP is Michael Fabricant with 11,311 tweets – some of them costing him a job as the Vice-Chairman of the party.

Shouty-crackers Karl ‘anger management’ Turner is seemingly as much of a gobsh*te online as he in Parliament and on trains, topping iLabour with 12,577.

While Tim Farron’s campaign to convince everyone he is a thoroughly nice bloke, while simultaneously knifing his leader, sees him top the LibDems with 14,741 Tweets.

Wasting time on the internet is meant to be Guido’s job.


  1. 1

    Dangerous lexical shift has occurred in Europe now:

    M’erkel is due in U’kraine tomorrow. Has G’ermany cut a deal with R’ussia on partitioning U’kraine ?

    Vote UKIP :-D


  2. 2
    Tachybaptus says:

    What is ‘Twitter’?


    • 11
      Mother Shipton says:

      I think it’s like the telegraph thingy, dear. Only sillier.


      • 44
        Norm Normal says:

        Not surprised Galloway is top twitt! What else does he have to do? He has a worse Commons attendance record than Gordon Brown.


        • 94
          Toxic Labour for Parasites, bring back the workhouses. says:

          Too many tweets make a twat!


          • geordieboy says:

            Too many Twats are Tweeting.


          • I know it s a little early but ;

            Season s Tweetings to everyone for the upcoming Winterval Festivities.

            ( Which this year are due to last from Dec 1st to around Feb 5th depending on whether you are Chinese , Japanese , Sikh , Muslim, Buddhist , Bhatai, Jew, Russian Orthodox , Copt, Roman Catholic, Free Kirk of Scotland or ……. yes of course …. Church of England .)


    • 15
      Experienced Networker says:

      It’s a program designed for children to use on their phones for sending selfies. It’s not aimed at adults.


    • 42
      Not Duped says:

      It’a an electronic fantasy world where people can imagine others actually care about what they say.


    • 95
      The Growler says:

      ” Tim Farron’s campaign…………………………. knifing his leader” Well at least Cleggie seems to have the proportionally the same number of descenters as Dave Boy has in his party


    • 98
      The Food Programme says:

      All this tweeting is contributing to CLIMATE CHANGE!!!!!!!!!


    • 144
      Anonymous says:

      A Twitter is for twats.

      I hope Bill Gates isn’t looking with his glasses but my new idea for the future of the Internet Community is:

      Twatter and Farcebook.

      Twatter is relatively straightforward ( it says what it does on the tin – the internet is not made of tin by the way ) and all you do is get a load of Twats to twatter each other with bullshit and boasts.

      Farcebook is more subtle: This is for the likes of Politicians Celebrities and other people who think they are important and think that everyone hangs on their every word. Come the nerd revoulution they will hang on their every word but that’s for the future.

      Essentially it a community where all the farcical bastards are exposed to the world for everybody to laugh at them and point fingers and shout things in the streets when they go out amongst real people.

      They are allowed to join in the piss taking but only in a post ironic fashion.

      Americans are by definition excluded because they don’t do irony and we’ll ignore the French just out of spite.

      Do not tell Bill gates or The Mossad about this otherwise they will all copy the idea.

      Nerdy Norman CEO Twatter & Farcebook)


  3. 3
    Fabians are Evil says:

    I do not want them to Tweet I want them to work – is that to difficult to understand?


  4. 4
    Tim Farton, President of the Cockroach Party says:

    Wish I could do a real job.


  5. 5
    Jihad, coming to a town near you says:

    Makes a twat.


  6. 7
    Bill Sikes' Dog says:

    Too many Twats = Too many Tweets


  7. 8
    nermal says:

    But Cameron has pointed at more fish than Ed Millimong.


  8. 9
    David Cameron says:

    To many twäts make a government.


  9. 16
    David Cameron Fishmonger to the stars says:

    If little girls are made of sugar and spice, why do their clunges smell of anchovies?


  10. 20
    JustSayNo_toFriendsofIsrael says:

    “…There is now massive unmet humanitarian need in Gaza which can only be met with substantial international assistance.”


    Now, if you were a civilised, caring global citizen, you would contribute to the DEC appeal to aid innocent civilians and children affected by this conflict.

    And it would be really uplifting and encouraging to see ‘Friends of Israel’ get behind this appeal – maybe even start a Twitter campaign ?

    They would get them some positive PR for a change…


    • 30
      Char. E. Tee Chugger says:

      Here is 10p, call someone who cares.


    • 31
      Nero says:

      Fuck them, I’m giving to the Yazidis.

      Global citizen…..hahahaha!

      What a c*nt you are.


    • 46
      Would this be the same DEC says:

      Of which Ian Birrell last year wrote?:

      “This cavalier approach to the facts could be seen on Tuesday when the chief executive of the Disasters Emergency Committee (DEC) — a 14-strong coalition of Britain’s big aid charities — indicated on the Radio 4 Today programme that the disaster could be as bad as the 2004 tsunami, which killed 250,000 people in several countries.

      “After I posed the question of whether the storm really had been that deadly, the DEC accepted that the comparison was misleading and corrected news stories that carried the original figure. That evening, the Philippine authorities put the number of dead at about 2,500. However, nearly 24 hours later, the appeal website was still claiming 10,000 fatalities.


      • 53
        JustSayNo_toFriendsofIsrael says:

        Nice bit of deflection.

        Well done.

        You don’t want to address the original humanitarian point.


        • 60
          It doesnt add up says:

          Take the salaries of all the CEOs that make up DEC and use some of that.


        • 70
          Allah is just pretend says:

          “Now, if you were a civilised, caring global citizen, you would contribute to the DEC appeal to aid innocent civilians and children affected by this conflict.”

          You are quite right.

          However, there aren’t any “innocent civilians and children”, there are just Muslims, and in case you haven’t been paying attention to world affairs recently, everyone on the planet is sick to death of Muslims and we don’t give a shit if Israel’s kicking the shit out of them.

          In fact, we celebrate it. The more dead Muzzies the better.


        • 99
          Would this be the same DEC says:

          “You don’t want to address the original humanitarian point”

          I’m afraid you miss the point.

          The DEC, and certain of its members/affiliates, are not universally admired.

          For any number of reasons.


        • 100
          M­a­­q­b­o­­ul says:

          When Arafat dies he was reckoned to the 4th richest head of state on the planet.

          The present Hamas leadership are doing even better.

          According to sources in Gaza, Haniyeh’s (Hamas PM) wealth, like others high up in Hamas, came primarily from the flourishing tunnel industry. Senior Hamas figures, Haniyeh included, would levy 20 percent taxation on all of the trade passing through the tunnels.

          Any aid will be spent, as it was before, on constructing the money-spinning tunnels. It is in Hamas’ interests to keep its people in poverty and to be bombed and killed. It keeps the funds flowing into Hamas coffers (and diverted out into Qatar investments). The Palestinian people are being badly used by Hamas.


      • 57
        Dangerous Brian says:

        Never let the truth get in the way of a good money making heart string grabber.

        Just how stupid do they think we are?


        • 101
          M­a­­q­b­o­­ul says:

          The fuel subsidized by the Egyptian government was entering Gaza at a low price, but being sold for eight times that. Those who made the greatest profits from the sale of the fuel were Hamas members, even as Egypt often reported shortages for its own people.

          Hamas, says Professor Ahmed Karima of Al-Azhar University in Egypt, has long become a movement of millionaires.


    • 126
      Cpl Hicks says:

      Justsaynotohavingfriends is obviously a hasbro/moshe/slomo shill. He’s done a great job at getting people to support I’srael with all the shite he’s been spouting.

      Well done friend, our Moss’ad handlers will be pleased!


  11. 33
    Centre Parting says:

    Comment on Jeremy Vine that the Secret Services know all about Jihadi John including what his first pet dog was called.

    I thought the BBC spent millions on courses stopping remarks like that.


  12. 34
    Dangerous Brian says:

    As in showbiz so in politics, it has long been known that the level of c*ntishness which can be applied to any one person is in direct correlation to how often said person tweets.
    If you dont believe me look at Stephen (God of the BBC) and Lady Gaga.


  13. 35
    Centre Parting says:

    I bet he sues them now.


  14. 51

    In the future, everyone will be famous for nine seconds.


    • 58
      Jihad John will make you a star says:

      Call it ten because cutting someone’s head off with a knife takes a little longer


  15. 54
    Anonymous says:



    • 64
      Anonymous says:

      47,000,000 Americans are on food stamps. Obama & co have almost DOUBLED the debt.


    • 69
      It's not the fear of Russians keeps me awake at night says:

      Non muzzbot countries are hard to come by these days least of all one’s who have been fighting the buggers for so long themselves.
      A Northern hemisphere alliance needs to be formed and Russia should be in it.


      • 114
        Watcher says:

        As long as Jizzrael isn’t in it, fine with me.


      • 130
        Mustapha Kuppa says:

        I agree.

        Remember when Hezbollah kidnapped Soviet diplomats in the 80’s, and the Soviets responded by kidnapping several relatives of the Hezbollah capo, castrated one, shot him in the head, sent Hezbollah his disembodied member with the message release our hostages or expect more packages. Hostages were released sharpish.


  16. 59
    Thoroughly Modern Miliband says:

    I know all about tweeters and woofers, oh yes.


  17. 63
    Gee had says:

    The horrifying truth is that there are thousands of potential Jihad Johns and Janes in the UK. Leftoids want you to believe otherwise, and a certain anti-semitic tinfoiler here wants you to believe otherwise, but the fact remains there is a clear and present danger which this government has failed to tackle.

    Muslims cannot be trusted. One of the 7/7 killers was a former primary school teacher. It’s in their r*pe and murder manual called the koran that they’re instructed to deploy taqqiya, the strategy of lying and misinforming the kuffar, i.e. the so-called peace loving muslim is nothing of the sort. They’re not all bombers but you can bet most of the fully support their “brothers” killing, r*ping and maiming “evil decadent sinful westerners.”

    I’d have every last fucking one of them deported. Inshallah and al ham diddle ah.


    • 72
      Eep Yep Blowing Whistles says:



    • 86
      Shut Down Sharia says:

      I agree there is a clear and present danger of some terrori’st outrage being perpetrated, but the MUCH GREATER threat is that to our liberties, through infiltration of Sharia into everyday life.

      We have already seen in some parts of the country special patrols by followers of this religion. In the East End of London gays and street drinkers have been attacked, or ordered off the streets.

      We have also seen the growing corruption in local government and school administration.

      More importantly the religion itself cannot be discussed in any detail on mainstream media (BBC, commercial TV or any important newspaper) e.g. it is impermissible to describe what Mo did even though the descriptions come from the Ko’ran and the Had’ith themselves. In fact it is illegal to in any way discriminate between a follower of this cult and any other ideology.

      This is attack on free speech is quite unprecedented. In the 20th century people could openly describe the actinos and beliefs of the founders of other totalitarian ideologies, but we are not allowed to do so in any meaningful sense.

      Meanwhile there is, incredibly, a parallel legal and education system involving millions being run in areas controlled by the Sharia followers with no intervention by central government.


      • 110
        boredhousehusband says:

        I often wonder when we the English will do what we’re good at – forming a reasoned opinion by good debate – to finally expose the failings within the current PC way of thinking regarding this religion.

        We did it back in the 1960’s, when attitudes were changing about everything, including religion. It worked so well that today as many churches are closing as pubs…

        But, then again, back in the 60’s, not only was TV a ‘new’ innovation adopted by the masses – but the quality of the debaters was far higher.

        Who has the courage to begin a ‘proper’ English debate, other than Farage?
        In our 2014, the debate would anyway likely be hosted by a BBC blonde thicko female with little understanding of anything outside of ‘pop culture’…

        BUT – I do think it is up to us, the English, to begin the debate – and in our usual way, influence the thinking of the rest of the world and in that way bring about the solution we all so desperately need.

        We really are the finest nation on earth, a benefactor to many, and it’s time we began to remember that and use our inherited skillset effectively


    • 87
      It's not the fear of Russians keeps me awake at night says:

      The last foe we fought who used suicide tactics were the Japanese.
      It took two nuclear bombs to stop them buggers and they weren’t even fighting for a religious ideaology.
      No we are just going to have to hope the majority of Muslims in Britain behave and keep tonging their arse to keep them sweet.
      Maybe chuck them a few of our under age girls to abuse so as to keep them distracted.


  18. 67
    Anonymous says:


    • 78
      M­a­­q­b­o­­ul says:

      Those sacks of Russian rocksalt will come as a welcome relief to the Ukrainians who can trade them for their grain and fruit, which in turn will be most welcome back in Moscow to beat the effects of the sanctions.


  19. 74

    Vote UKIP :-D


    • 82
      Reuters says:

      What the fucks this. Mussie business news?

      Did they do a share swap or did one reverse into the other in a MBI.


      • 90
        P l e b says:

        The Daily Star. Just like the Sun.


      • 97

        If you look at the maps of territory IS control in Lebanon, recall ‘ISIL’ you will understand:

        a) Why I posted that.
        b) Why it is important.

        Note also that F’rance is getting much more aggressive towards it’s Muzzie population now.

        Should use investigated instead of ‘probed’ but this news is spreading fast across the ME right now:

        Vote UKIP :-D


  20. 76
    Anonymous says:

    Kiev Porky 卐 still shelling civilians.


  21. 79
    P l e b says:

    Cameron was a twat long before Twitter came along.


  22. 80
    Vincent Kabal says:

    Why is it all tories look like spoon faced mongs?


  23. 84
    idon'tneednodoctor says:

    It’s just as much the problem of all muslims in the uk to sort out their jihadists. So get it sorted!!


  24. 88
    Mr Biscuits says:

    The Labour (Chimps Tea) Party tweet stupid partly policital soundbytes every hour… Most of them are Miliband’s latest slogan


  25. 89
    P l e b says:

    Support Assad one day, support his enemies the next. Now back to support Assad. How long before these idiots support his enemies again? This is insanity.

    Morons are in power everywhere!!!


  26. 102
    JustSayNo_toFriendsofIsrael says:

    Well interestingly, no.

    The Gaza conflict has seen an outpouring of concern in the UK – and globally – for the Palestinians.

    And yet, this is in a climate in the UK where yes, the majority is getting increasingly fed up with the Islam’sation of the country.

    That is curious is it not ?

    I think this is simply a reflection that the UK population is getting fed up with Israel’s bullying tactics – and indiscriminate killing of innocent civilians and children.

    The bombing of the children playing on the Gazan beach will forever be a stain on Israel’s reputation.

    And today, Edinburgh council announced it will also be flying the Palestinian flag.

    Friends of Israel are only friends with those who blindly follow a terrorist state.


    • 105
      the Truth.. says:

      A few thousand nut jobs who dont have to work parade around the UK supporting the flavour of the month cause ie gaza…whilst millions of others think why the fuck cant they stop lobbing rockets…outpouring of concern are you fucking mental… The good people of the UK are fed up with mental muslims, we dont want them and never will now FUCK OFF..


      • 120
        Not Duped says:

        Actually, we brits are more fed up with the endless conniving and hatemongering of the ZioNAZIs who are guilty of engineering these situations in the first place.
        Lessonnumber 1 :
        ZioLoons want Westerners and Muslims to hate each other. Never forget that.


    • 108
      Used to be a mohammedan says:

      Civilians are not being indiscriminately killed in Gaza.The figures for civilian deaths given by the Hamas stooges in Gaza are hiding the true number of militants killed, as happened in previous wars with Israel.

      And most of those civilian that have been killed died because the terrorists are operating from civilian areas.


  27. 106
    Anonymous says:


  28. 107
    John says:

    It’s not funny. My taxes are paying for these wankers to be wasting thier time doing this shit


  29. 115
    Anonymous says:


  30. 121
    Anonymous says:

    Unelected fascist Catherine Ashton is at again.


  31. 125
  32. 133
    ICT says:

    Inverness Caledonian Thistle are better than all of you.


  33. 138
    bogtrott says:

    dont forget too many tweets make a twat


  34. 139
    DAVE EAT'N HEAD says:

    Fucking sad bastards ! i have never sent one ,never will dont know how , and dont want to know
    I dont facebook , twitter twatter selfie , text , skipe or any other utterly moronic sads bastard activity you can mention


    While you lot have your face buried in your phones , the fucking muslims are taking over the world


  35. 140
    regular twatter says:

    This is like 4-5 an hour every office hour of the year. (and that’s being more than generous on the amount they ‘work’).
    What is wrong with these people ?!


  36. 141
    Anonymous says:

    “Too Many Tweets”
    may spoil distraction?
    Someone, oft-times lauded by the establishment should it suit them, once said: Jaw, jaw, jaw, is better than war, war, war. But the Conservative Caliphate, dare not risk replacing the tactic of hectoring with the strategy of questioning. Since their ideological construct is just as rationally compromised, and hence as easy to debunk, as Sadam’s.
    Intervention interview: My name has been redacted, and I’m in denial.


  37. 142
    proscribe Islam says:

    718,431 tweets ? what is that in watts ? the output of one windmill, 100 windmills, ?


Seen Elsewhere

May SpAd Removed From Candidates List | ConHome
Clodagh’s Law | Press Gazette
Whitehall Bosses Ban Christmas | Sun
Meanwhile, in Russia… | Media Guido
Christmas TV Tips | Laura Perrins
Labour Marginal Fright | Lord Ashcroft
Osborne’ Real Deficit Reduction Record | ConHome
Blameronism | Peter Oborne
Everyone Can Lose | Staggers
Splintering of the Left | Tim Montgomerie
Fallon’s Lawyer Loathing | Quentin Letts

Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Labour insiders turn on Ed over Powell’s latest gaffe:

“When is he going to stop promoting useless people? He was warned about her.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,641 other followers