August 20th, 2014

Sorry Sam: Dave Cancels Cornwall


134 Comments

  1. 1
    Lord Dickard says:

    So he should, the waster.

  2. 2
    West Country Tory says:

    We didn’t want him down here anyway. Get back to London and do your job you lazy oaf.

  3. 3
    One Pound Fish says:

    FFS

  4. 4
    My vote went to the Tory Party and all it got me was this stupid moniker. says:

    Lucky Cornwall.

  5. 5
    Vince Cable says:

    I can’t recall Parliament.

  6. 6
    Toxic Labour for Parasites, bring back the workhouses. says:

    Nothing will be done about the appalling cruelty in Iraq so what’s the point?

  7. 7

    This will ‘help’ ?

    Vote UKIP :-D

  8. 8
    Nero says:

    Who the fuck still uses a BlackBerry? Other than the mong in the photo.

  9. 9
  10. 10
    C Bass says:

    We’ll miss him, even though he points a lot

  11. 11
    Dhimmi Dave Bumsex says:

    There’s a Halibut up there, that I’m pointing to.

  12. 12
    David Cameron says:

    Indeed. I am thinking of upgrading to the latest Windows phone as I have been told (by Microsoft after a £25m RFI) that the Windows Phone App Store is the biggest there is by a long way.

    Sent by AOL mail

  13. 13
    Rick Stein says:

    Bugger!

  14. 14
    Dhimmi Dave Bumsex says:

    I do hope he is going to go and explain (face to face) to ISIS about the advantages of bumsex. Let’s see how long he lasts.

  15. 15
    Rolf says:

    Not you as well, crikey!

  16. 16
    Rick Stein says:

    At least I can keep the bottle of ‘Gentlemen’s extra special relish’ now, in case another wanker decides to come and eat here and I can’t get it up.

  17. 17
    Everyman says:

    It will be reasonable now to reduce the extremism threat by banning face coverings immediately, if you are serious Dave.

    Always assuming the sand land princes agree of course, unlike they did re the Mus’lim Bro’hood report. Funny that, too extreme for Egyp’t but not the UK.

    I expect your civil disservice couldn’t possibly comment.

  18. 18
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    I would like to thank Mr Al Kaida who prepared that background paper that there was no strategic threat to the UK in The Middle East.

  19. 19
    John Bercow says:

    LOL, he can try. I’ve had his pass revoked.

  20. 20
    Vote Dave? Get stuffed says:

    Never mind, Dave. This time next year you won’t have this problem.

  21. 21
    Fred says:

  22. 22
    House of Ill rëpute says:

  23. 23
    The femine Touch says:

    Has it not occurred to him yet that a parliament full of women is taking the country to the dogs?

  24. 24
    FFS says:

    Talking to yourself again you idiot.

    ‘deleted’

  25. 25
    My vote went to the Tory Party and all it got me was this stupid moniker. says:

    They (followers of the religion of peace & tolerance) have been known to continuously torture people for two years, which is the limit of what the body can endure before it dies. It would be interesting to see if Cameron can go longer.

  26. 26

    The pasty producers were depending upon it!

  27. 27
    nermal says:

    I think that we should follow the lead of Milliband and the labour party when it comes to the problems in Syria and Iraq. Just remind me what have they said.

  28. 28
    SS says:

    And he still says, I will eat Halal food, tosser.

  29. 29
    Jimmy Cricket says:

    And there’s more.

  30. 30
    Anonymous says:

    “Dave Cancels Cornwall”
    Wot! No fracking potential in the place?
    The McCarthy era gave us: Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of the Communist Party?
    While the Cameron era offers: Have you ever sought, or been successful in seeking, to have directions to data removed from Google?
    Standing pre-election orders: Don’t mention not mentioning any mention of the redacted fracking report.

  31. 31
    A "Brtish" MP ? says:

  32. 32
    My vote went to the Tory Party and all it got me was this stupid moniker. says:

    “I will eat Halal food” is a very right-on metropolitan way of saying, “I’m going to have a kebab when the pub shuts.”

  33. 33
    Everyman says:

    What an ignorant offensive moniker.

    Are you a muslum?

  34. 34
    My vote went to the Tory Party and all it got me was this stupid moniker. says:

    Free Palestine? See, they can’t even give it away.

  35. 35
    which one is the labour MP? says:

  36. 36

    Roses are red, violets are blue. I’m a schizophrenic and so am I.

  37. 37
    Justin says:

    Ugh don’t fancy yours much.

  38. 38
    Cornwall Tourist Board says:

    Yes the “Radonscare” worked like a charm.
    Come down to Cornwall everybody, surfs up, PM not coming! Yay!

  39. 39
    Ed Miliband says:

    What is a pub?

  40. 40
    Everyman says:

    No it means,

    ‘Screw you UK’.

  41. 41
    The BBC says:

    If he was standing as a UKIP Parish councillor then we would cover this 24/7

  42. 42
  43. 43
    Everyman says:

    A spell in M and S clothing departments these days is a chance to visit South Asia and hear many languages, none of which are English, admire the sound of Urdu, the garments and colour, apart from the burquas.

  44. 44
  45. 45
  46. 46

    I do not shop there, certainly not.

  47. 47
  48. 48
    Casual Observer II says:

    Cornish fishermen in trouble? Rennard’s fingers still smell fishy.

  49. 49
    Peter Martin says:

    If a PM is going to cancel hols every time a ‘British’ (H/T – BBC) ‘man’ may be involved in something more than dodgy overseas or home, they may as well now write the allowance out the job spec.

    Isn’t there someone Dave or Theresa can ban from coming here to warn about such things lest the locals kick off. Yes again?

    Every little gesture helps.

  50. 50
    Maimed Codger says:

    One would ask… are they revolting, in Cornwall ?

  51. 51

    Usual miserable ugly boat race.

  52. 52
    Maimed Codger says:

    Probably with stolen Lamb…

  53. 53
    Noah the man with the ark says:

    Flood it

  54. 54

    Cats more likely.

  55. 55
    Birmingham City Council Dept. for Education says:

    She should be wearing a burqa, not dressing like a filthy white Western whore.

  56. 56
    Vote Ukip, get a Lab/LibDem coalition, the most pro-EU combo of all says:

    :(

  57. 57

    So Rapboy is back to massage the Cobra ?

    Snake oil a go-go :-)

    Vote UKIP :-D

  58. 58

    …..yet it is not racist for a black comedian to play a film role in whiteface.

  59. 59

    At least chain up Hamjam Chowder.

  60. 60
    SamCam says:

    Thank fuck for that. Got rid of the bumsexing pretend husband for a few days.

    Pass the plonk, let’s celebrate.

  61. 61

    The blackberries are doing well this year. Try them with raspberry ripple ice cream!

  62. 62
    George"Some of my best friends are J*wish" Galloway says:

    Bradford braces for fresh ground invasion of Israelis.

  63. 63
    The religion of peace says:

    Brother Cameron has surrenderd to the Brotherhood, he agreed, they are not a terr01st organisation, Allahhhhhhhh Akkkbaaaaaarrrrr

    https://www.middleeastmonitor.com/news/europe/13554-uk-probe-finds-muslim-brotherhood-not-terrorist

    We laugh at Brother Cameron, we call him a ‘useful Consersavtive kuffar’ who does good work promoting the UK Caliphate.

    Brother Cameron recently launched the first UK sharia compliant bond financing. Again allowing Sharia law to dicate financing of UK government debt.

    The Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne said:

    “Today’s issuance of Britain’s first sovereign Sukuk delivers on the government’s commitment to become the western hub of Islamic finance and is part of our long term economic plan to make Britain the undisputed centre of the global financial system.

    “We have seen very strong demand for the Sukuk, resulting in a price that delivers good value for money for the taxpayer. I hope that the success of this government issuance will encourage further private sector issuances of Sukuk in the UK.”

    https://www.gov.uk/government/news/government-issues-first-islamic-bond

    Shukran brother Cameron

    Vote ISIS
    Vote Often
    Vote Lib Lab Con

    Returning to a UK town near you, very soon.

    Inshallaaaaaaaaaaaaa

  64. 64

    We covered this in last weeks Huntryfile, well the stealing.

    Concerning the perpetrators, well we have no connection with The Police, of course and couldn’t possibly possibly comment, dearest boy. Ciao.

  65. 65
    Curious Clegg says:

    Can you tell me Rennard — I’ve always wondered — do the muzzie women wear knickers under their burqas?

  66. 66
    Maltese Junket King says:

    Has Farage cancelled his holiday or is he still on some Maltese junket?

  67. 67

    You can see twenty-first century people among twentieth-century clothes!

  68. 68
    (Ras)Putin says:

    There’s no need to visit Russia. We will visit you.

    One people! One Russia! One Leader!

  69. 69
    Anonymous says:

  70. 70
    Lard Rennard says:

    Hi ladies! I’m back!

  71. 71
  72. 72
    This is what Rolf Harris's cellmate said to him says:

  73. 73
    Nigel Farage says:

    I’m not as think as you pished I am.

  74. 74
  75. 75
    chop suey says:

    I wonder if “the beheader” is a relative?

  76. 76

    I got off her around 3am.

    Knack erred, look at these eye bags.

  77. 77
    Nero says:

    Black people cannot be racist.

    It’s true.

    Jo Brand says so.

  78. 78
    Prime Minister David Cameron says:

    The urgent priority must be an immediate end to the renewed outbreak of bumsex”

  79. 79
    cheche says:

    The British Media doesnt know what to do about this murder in Iraq. Its evident to everyone except them whats going on in this country.

  80. 80
    Frank Carson says:

    My mate Jim told me he recently made a new friend. He says his new pal is a freethinking Muslim who loves everyone regardless of religion, wishes peace for all the peoples of the world, hates violence of any kind, believes women are equal to men and opposes female genital mutilation and child marriage.

    Poor Jim. He’s never outgrown having imaginary friends.

  81. 81

    Vote UKIP :-D

  82. 82
    Iain Duncan Smith says:

    We have a very impressive arms industry in the UK and now we’re leading the world in the exporting of jihadists.

    Just rejoice at that news.

  83. 83
    Jamicians happily living in Bristol says:

    We want nothing to do with Somalis. Keep them off our streets, out of our pubs, away from our women. We will never sell our hash to them.

    A Good Somalis is one who stays in Somalia.

  84. 84
    Banned says:

    Isn’t it odd that no “community representative” of the UK Muslim population has put himself in front of a TV camera to say how sorry he is for the death of an innocent journalist – and that not all UK Muslims are like this etc.. Their silence is almost tacit approval of the barbaric killings.

  85. 85
    P l e b says:

    Another holiday? He’s only just come back from Portugal.

    Idle bastard.

  86. 86
    David Cameron says:

    What are his views on anal sex between consenting males?

    I do have a vacancy in need of a box ticking exercise.

  87. 87
    Jack Russell says:

    :)

  88. 88
    The religion of peace says:

    Brother Cameron has surrenderd to the Brotherhood, he agreed, they are not a terr01st organisation, Allahhhhhhhh Akkkbaaaaaarrrrr

    https://www.middleeastmonitor.com/news/europe/13554-uk-probe-finds-muslim-brotherhood-not-terrorist

    We laugh at Brother Cameron, we call him a ‘useful Consersavtive kuffar’ who does good work promoting the UK Caliphate.

    Shukran brother Cameron

    Vote ISIS
    Vote Often
    Vote Lib Lab Con

    Returning to a UK town near you, very soon.

    Inshallaaaaaaaaaaaaa

  89. 89
    JJ says:

    BBC reporting on the James Wright Foley beheading yet?

  90. 90
    cheche says:

    Some one must recognise that voice

  91. 91
    Idle bastard says:

    Do you mind!

  92. 92
    The religion of peace says:

    Brother Cameron, our ‘useful Consersavtive kuffar’ has done some more very good work promoting the UK Caliphate.

    He has recently launched the first UK sharia compliant bond financing which had £2.3bn of demand.

    Again allowing Sharia law to dicate financing of UK government debt.

    The Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne said:

    “Today’s issuance of Britain’s first sovereign Sukuk delivers on the government’s commitment to become the western hub of Islamic finance and is part of our long term economic plan to make Britain the undisputed centre of the global financial system.

    “We have seen very strong demand for the Sukuk, resulting in a price that delivers good value for money for the taxpayer. I hope that the success of this government issuance will encourage further private sector issuances of Sukuk in the UK.”

    https://www.gov.uk/government/news/government-issues-first-islamic-bond

    Shukran brother Cameron

    Vote ISIS
    Vote Often
    Vote Lib Lab Con

    Returning to a UK town near you, very soon.

    Inshallaaaaaaaaaaaaa

  93. 93

    Banks have been specifically excluded from sanctions of course and existing obligations are not affected. Very hostile words from Russia’s Fin Min:

    Vote UKIP :-D

  94. 94
    Top of the market (it's all down hill from here) says:

    Front running…

    Exports up in the worst recovery ever, good news all round!

  95. 95
    the league against cruel sports says:

    This years Birdfair was a huge success with over 22,000 people flocking to the event. Our CEO Joe Duckworth hosted a talk with our VP Bill Oddie to discuss the massacre of migratory birds in Malta and how those in attendance could play a part in our campaign.

    Quack! Quack!

  96. 96
    dog pissing on lampost says:

    and not a moment too soon

  97. 97
    JJ says:

    Oh right, so people who trap their partners in a cycle of emotional or psychological cruelty and abuse would be prosecuted and jailed under tough new laws proposed by ministers.

    That’s women fucked then!

  98. 98
    e&0e says:

    dog misses a ‘p’

  99. 99
    Anjem Chowdery says:

    Allahhhhh Akkkbaaaarrrrr

  100. 100
    F##k the LibLabCon says:

    Only just, 20 seconds quoting a government minister and that’s it.

  101. 101
    honky says:

    its lucky michael jackson wasn’t black

  102. 102
    dr natural says:

    one solution might be to put up a large reward to identify the evil fucker and then kill everybody he has ever known.

  103. 103
    Von Cameroon says:

    I am now heading on a bearing ENE to return to my desk and lead the Country in a manner befitting my postion.

    BTW: BBM keeps messaging ~ Wheres Clegg?

  104. 104
    geordieboy says:

    Is it really worth the hundreds of thousands of pounds it will cost to recall parliament?

  105. 105
    ShedMan says:

    He cant remember yesterday either

  106. 106
    Limpdems says:

    In fact he never really went away!

  107. 107
    Smile biatch says:

    That’s no zit, that’s an unfortunate face.

  108. 108
    Duke Nukem says:

    Someone somewhere knows the identity of that pig talking in the video. Will the peace loving community of British muslims come forward with his name?

  109. 109
    inside out says:

    Just wait,when they have identified this murderer they find out,he is on Job Seekers Allowance,has wife and 3 kids all on benefits and his absent abroad is classed as holiday.He comes from Peckham or Luton,you know its true.Can’t wait for politicians answers.

  110. 110
  111. 111
    Davy Wulllllllliummmmmms says:

    Ting Tong was a character from the BBC programme Little Britain.

    It’s ok when the BBC do it, you see.

    https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=little+britain+ting+tong

    Janice Atkinson’s only mistake was to apologise.

  112. 112
    Everyman says:

    Pussyfooting with Muslims for fifty years has lead us to the role of executioner in Iraq.

    How totally damning of the Establishment.

    BBC has just run an Isis recruitment video which inter alia requires face coverings.

    So ….step one…..Ban All Face Covering…….NOW.

    See, it’s easy.

    Power reduced immediately.

    Yes Hammond it is a war so start defending us.

  113. 113
    Anonymous says:

    I bet you use the latest BigCorp inc. iGay device

  114. 114
    Koba says:

    Cameron doing nothing could be the best thing he ever did!

  115. 115
    Hiram J Cheeseburger III says:

    Frankly Camoron does his best work when doing nothing at all. It’s when he actually does or says anything that he Fracks up.

    Ban the Berkhampstead. Vote Ukip.

  116. 116
    Lord Burn'em of Stafford says:

    So he should cancel. …it’s not as though GF has a holiday. ..or Neo…nor the apprentices…all at the same time.

  117. 117
    David Cameron says:

    As part of my initiative to help hard working families and leader of the High Tax Party I will be raising your taxes. Toodlepip…

  118. 118
    The BBC says:

    Sounds great!

  119. 119
    Anonymous says:

    Cameron really is a spoonfaced dickhead.

  120. 120
    Corry O'Lanus says:

    Mmmmm don’t you just love the smell of ‘faux-leadership’ in the morning??!!

  121. 121
    Kulak murdered by Marxist filth. says:

    Lovely Dewish Couple.

  122. 122
    Dr Death says:

    All she needs is a real man…I thinks shes quite fit am I mental…

  123. 123

    And he’s getting that veiny, blotchy cheeks that Heath had made all his own. Obviously, CMD has leased it from Heath’s Estate. Can a medical person say whether this is “Gentleman-farmer braves the winds of winter to walk to his local o’ert t’ hill” type of skin condition or is it evidence of dissolute behaviour and a rampant form of circulatory disease accompanying something really, really fatal – quickly.

  124. 124

    DAVE SAYS

    DC: I m always an arn s length away from my Blackberry so no problem wherever I am in the Universe — I can always tune in to a Cobra videoconference in Downing Street or with Barack in Washington — even from Mars.

    Aide: Perhaos PM it may be imprudent to publicise that you still have a Bkackberry . It s yesterday s technology the company is near bankrupt and it has no facility for video conferencing . Try a Samsung .

    DC: Sorry , Samsung ?— is that a new type of sushi ?

  125. 125

    Does Dave s pose above possibly conjure up an albeit fleeting resemblance to New Romantics Icon and general ladies dreamboat Bryan Ferry in his Roxy Music heyday as the ultimate thinking and non -thinking woman s idea of her personal Paradise Night?

    Er …. NO!!

  126. 126

    POLPERRO PILLOW POSTURING:

    Morning –5 a.m.

    Sam C:You awake yet darling .

    DC: Why what s hapoened ?

    SC: Just seen this on You Tube . l

    DC:What?

    SC ;too gruesome darling , can t explain . Best to see for yourself. .

    DC : Good God ! The raghead s got a British accent , Obama will roast me for this !

    SC : What shall we do ?

    DC: Don t know about you . I m heading back to The Smoke NOW. Those maniacs will probably come after me when they repatriate ! I don t want to rely on this yokel security down here — get myself hunkered in Downing Street . Use Churchill s old Cabinet cellars if I have to . Call a few Of the chaps down from Hereford for company . I didn t get where I am today without an unfailing sense of self preservation……. and tell
    George he s running the country till further notice.

  127. 127

    Salaam Aleichum . Hamm didli haa.

    ( if I ve spelt any of that wrongly could you tell me please
    Sayeeda ? Thanks )

  128. 128

    Did we all know that under British legislation the act of pointing one s finger can be construed as assault leading to criminal arrest ?

    But not the act of riding bycycles on the pavement apparently — eh Lord Mayor !!

  129. 129

    THE REAL CITIZENRY TEST FIR ALL PEACELOVING UK MUSLIMS :

    In a cricket match between England and an IS Caliphate Select XI would your loyalties lie with Mr Baghdadi …. or Monty Panesar ??

  130. 130

    OFF SUBJECT BUT …

    Most expensive property in the world.

    Monaco penthouse : Euro 300 million .

    ( presumably hot and hot running women as standard)

    Hyde Park Gate — eat their dust !!

  131. 131

    Ye e e e e s .

    Interesting , but somewhat repetitive .

    ( which is probably what ruderolf thinks of it so far )

  132. 132

    …. and if yes are the maltese still cross?

    ( well it IS getting late !)

  133. 133

    SERIOUS QUESTION

    At Airport Security :

    — are Muslim ladies waved through if wearing jewellery and religious artefacts
    ( on the basis requesting their removal would be a slight to their faith and social comportment ) resulting in the machine always beeping ?

    — Ditto for burquas/full hijabs etc ? If so how do Passport Control check visual /gender features.?

    — are Muslim ladies put under any pressure whatsoever to remove belts with buckles and/or shoes on the grounds it would affect their perceived religious /social sense of decency?

    –are muslim gentlemen also allowed these privileges on identical or similar grounds ?

    — In the case of a gentleman wearing a full hijab — how would Security be satisfied that she was really a he — or vice versa ??

  134. 134
    Hugh Mann says:

    He’s called David Cameron.


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