August 19th, 2014

Venezuela: Socialist Paradise Update

How is the loony Labour left’s latest favourite socialist paradise Venezuela faring? Not since Gadaffi have we had an oil rich socialist paradise in the making to set an example for us running dogs of capitalist imperialismo. Socialism should surely work when you are floating on billions in oil wealth – just share it out comrades! Venezuela has the world’s largest proven oil reserves at 298 billion barrels – that is more than Saudi Arabia or the UK’s measly 6.9 billion barrels – untold riches. Yet according to Bloomberg data:

  • Oil production has declined by 27.2% over the last decade. Production declining…
  • GDP growth in 2013 was 1.3%. In 2004 it was 18.3%. Growth slowing…
  • The country’s inflation rate in May 2014 (61%) was the highest in the world. Iran was second and Argentina third. Venezuela leads the world in inflation…
  • The bolivar, the national currency, has fallen 88% since 2008. Devaluing…
  • Foreign exchange reserves have fallen by 51% since 2008 to $20 billion. Cash running out…
  • In 2012 it 22% of families lived below the poverty line, last year it was 27%. Poverty is rising…
  • Meat production is down 36% this year. Dieting…
  • In January 2014 there was a 28% shortage of basic goods, compared with 8% in 2005. More people queuing…

Guido has just finished reading the new book from “our generation’s Orwell”, Comrade Owen Jones, in which he advocates sweeping nationalisation with currency and capital controls. Like they have in Venezuela…


  1. 1
    Col. Nut says:

    Useful idiots.

  2. 2
    Paddy Pantsdown says:

    Slight Exaggeration.

  3. 3
    Owen Jones says:

    We also need Zil lanes.

  4. 4
    The BBC are cunts says:

    IT was all Fatcher’s fault !!

  5. 5
    The Voice of Reason says:

    To hell with Venezuela.

    A load of illegal foreign immigrants have been caught in the back of a van in darkest Somerset.

    Just what are the Border Agency up to. This has only been detected by a bit of luck.

    May’s letter of resignation should be in the post.

    If not Cameron should have her out on her arse tonight.

    This is incompetent bungling of the highest order.

  6. 6
    Ken Clarke says:

    Isn’t John Smith dead ?

  7. 7
    Owhine Jones says:

    Owen Jones, proof that whatever crap you write as long as its left wing it will get published.

  8. 8
    Paddy Pantsdown says:

    You, sir/madam/awaiting operation, are a moniker thief !!!

  9. 9
    Owhine Jones says:

    I think taxpayers who commute two hours plus should fund the housing of those who don’t want to move a few miles.

  10. 10
    Tom from Burnham on Sea says:

    Things just seem to be going from bad to worse despite what George Osborne says.

    Nothing like this has been seen around here since a Fucker was shot down during the War.

  11. 11
    Boris Spasticky says:

    Jones should fuck off and live there then.

    And take all his limp, twatty chums with him.

  12. 12
    Sarah Millington says:

    These people are not just misguided & wrong, they wilfully & with full knowledge of the consequences for real families advocate socialism.

  13. 13
    Sandy Jamieson says:

    Give Alex Salmond his way and Scotland’ll be like this in three years

  14. 14
    Paddy Pantsdown says:

    I leased the moniker for that post only (and this one now)

  15. 15
    The British Press are bloody useless says:

    They should all be allowed to stay provided they have no access to State Benefits.

    This complies with their Human Right to raise their own family.

  16. 16
    Lutfur Rahman says:

    Is it Sh’aria in Venezuela?

  17. 17
    Dead Hand Miliband says:

    Fortunately I never actually said we would introduce Venezuelan-style rent controls. That was just another Daily Mail Smear, wasn’t it Harriett?

  18. 18
    HenryV says:

    Our generation’s Orwell? More like our generation’s Hans Christian Anderson; lots of fairy tails aimed at juvenile minds……..

  19. 19
    The BBC says:

    And your point is?

  20. 20
    HenryV says:

    Lots of Iranians in Venezuela.

  21. 21
    Anonymous says:

    Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery.

    Winston Churchill

  22. 22
    Alex Salmond says:

    The Bolivar you say, mmm, very interesting.

  23. 23

    KSA may feel a little squeeze:

    Vote UKIP :-D

  24. 24
    táxpáyér says:

    Socialism is a synonym for shortage.

  25. 25
    Dianne Fatbot says:


    Oh sorry, force of habit. I meant Hoooomophoooobe

  26. 26
    Pilgrim's Progress says:

    Illegal Immigrant > Migrant > Asylum Seeker > British Passport Holder

  27. 27
    ECHR says:

    How on earth will they feed their pet cats without state handouts?

  28. 28
    Labour says:

    > Labour Voter

  29. 29
    táxpáyér says:

    Maybe they could take the “social”* housing of those unemployed?

    *Why does “social housing” seem reserved for the anti-social?

  30. 30
    Be Real says:

    oh do fvck off! The border control agency cannot check every fvcking lorry that enters the country. If you want these people not to try to come here, you need to stop giving them freebies when they arrive and crack down on companies using illegal Labour.

  31. 31
    Tony Blair says:

    Look you cannot make omelettes without killing millions.

  32. 32

    To be fair to Owen, state control of production and finance led to impressive results in 1930s Germany.

  33. 33
    Border Farce says:

    Replace that first every with any and you are correct.

  34. 34
    Paddy Pantsdown says:

    Then credit my account immediately !

  35. 35
    Little Old Lady from Tooting Bec says:

    I cannot express how much I fucking loathe these leftty cockroaches. They really are fucking insane because they will never ever get the message despite how many they put in poverty or how many they kill. Socialism never works, never has AND NEVER FUCKING WILL !!!

    Besides which they still owe me my free owl.

  36. 36
    Socialism, from the Latin word for 'retard' says:

    .. of brain cells.

  37. 37
    Work sets you free says:

    Work sets you free…

  38. 38
    Fidel Castro says:

    These are statistics that would make any socialist proud.

  39. 39
    Owen "Brownshirt" Jones says:

    1930’s Germany. What a time, what a place!

    Death to Israel. Today, the Juze. Tomorrow, the kweers.

    Heil Hitler.

  40. 40
    Vote Ukip, get a Lab/LibDem coalition, the most pro-EU combo of all says:


  41. 41
    allah baddie, islamic pyjama party says:

    Paul Lambert (second from the left) better be looking for some new players.

    And I mean better than million dollar Joe Cole.

  42. 42
    Mia Owww says:

    I hear in Manchester they cut the cats heads off so they don’t have to feed them

  43. 43
    Paddy Pantsdown 419'er says:

    OK kind esteemed gentlemen, please be sending me your banking account number and sorting code together with your date of birth, star sign, and internet passwords and I will proceed with the aforementioned transfer.

    God Speed

    Emmanuel Tafawa Balewa

  44. 44
    Owen Jokes says:

    They were socialists too. National Socialists.

  45. 45
    Curry Mile, Manchester says:

    Well we actually did feed them. To the Kuffr

  46. 46
    Ed Miliband says:

    That was Socialism as it was tried in the past.

    I, however, will make it work.

    I can do that, because I’m uniquely very very clever. On a scale of 1 to 10, my IQ comes in at 11.

  47. 47
    David Axlegrease says:

    At least you’ll have your own free owl to comfort you when all the lights go out.

  48. 48
    CHRIST ON A BIKE! says:

    just a plaguarist really, re-hashing the same old whory, disproven and discredited pillars of socialist claptrap.

    I mean really, twatting on about nationalisation and capital controls!!! How very 1920’s of him.

  49. 49
    A Labour Party spokesmong says:

    It’s entirely different, actually.

    National Socialists hated J3ews and wanted to control every aspect of everyone’s lives, whereas contemporary socialists hate J3ws and want to control every aspect of everyone’s lives.

    So it’s entirely different.

  50. 50
    Voice of common sense says:

    Ok lets just say for a brief nano second here that Owen Jones has one or two brain cells to be able to write a book. Yet having seen (and having been there also known) these statistics he still advocates the same approach? This is where this little naive leftie runt of the socialist litter should be challenged ……then hung.

  51. 51
    Ed Miliband says:

    I will pledge to freeze socialism when I am elected Mr Leader in 2015.

  52. 52
    Rob Roy says:

    The English are now saying they think that if we vote yes for independence then sterling will plummet .

    Who is getting desperate as voting day approaches I ask myself.

  53. 53
    CHRIST ON A BIKE! says:

    The Left run out of ideas 70 years ago. They just re-package the same old shit. When the hell do they have anything new to say?

  54. 54
    Anonymous says:

    Germany’s financial recovery was considered an economic miracle by many Western leaders at the time. Some thought this threat to the international banking system was the rout cause of WW2.

  55. 55
    I like to frack says:

    There is no such thing as a free owl or a free lunch.

  56. 56
    Abdel from Tooting says:

    I can assure you ,Madam ,there are absolutely no cockroaches in my shop .

  57. 57
    Phantomsby says:

    And their flag was…yup, Deepest Red (mostly).

  58. 58
    Steve from Cupertino says:

    With the fucking fancy money they take off you in taxes, heat detection systems ,computer systems and men in flat caps and boots on the ground this type of thing should simply not be happening.

    Human bodies are easy for heat seeking detection systems to trace and that is why what has happened is gross negligence especially with what happened last weekend.

    Tolerate this level of performance at your peril.

  59. 59

    Owen Jones is an idiot. He should move to Venezuela if its so great

  60. 60
    Norm Normal says:

    >relatives arrive >12 children >exponential labour supporter growth

  61. 61
    inside out says:

    Win or lose the referendum Salmond has plans to be implemented in 2015, to break up large estates,remove the riparian salmon rights on rivers,so all Scotlands assets are more inclusive to all Scots.In other words nationalise everything he can,presumable as there is no money,without compensation.

  62. 62
    Calamity Clegg, Chief Cockroach says:

    Can I have your 35 Postal Votes at the next election ?

  63. 63
    denis Healey says:

    We tried them into well into the 1970s.
    Complete disaster. Bankrupted the nation. Twice.

    luckily Thatcher came along and got us off the hook. Allowed us to pretend we had the right ideas.

  64. 64
    táxpáyér says:

    Is some now a synonym for idiots.

  65. 65
    The Diary of Owen Jones aged 13¾ says:

    I write my own statistics to prove my theories.
    When you challenge one of my out of context, inflated or simply made up lies its called spotting an “Owen Goal”

  66. 66
    Dwayne Adeboglu says:

    If it’s so good why don’t they move there?

  67. 67
    Hamish says:

    Evidently not. He is the one in the middle, isn’t he.

  68. 68
    Norm Normal says:

    The subject of Orwell’s work is a warning against socialist revolution.

    The Big Brother society in 1984 is a socialist totalitarian state brought about by post war socialist revolution.

    Just the sort of thing Brand and Jones promote.

  69. 69
    Hitler says:

    Heil myself!

  70. 70
    rubbish magic part 2 says:

    Owen Jones isa socialist arsewipe.

  71. 71
    Owen Jones supports terrosists, forced marriages, human trafficking, Corrupt Unions, Sharia Law says:

    I hope Owen Jones gets mugged, beaten, and robbed by a bunch of homophobic Islamic thugs or by a gang from the New Black Panther Party.

  72. 72
    RIP pre-1997 UK (F*ck you Labour) says:

    The should also apply to bellend pricks like Medhi Hasan, James O’Brien, Trevor Phillips, Christine Blower, Steve Coogan, everyone on BBC, Channel 4, and on Good Morning Britain.

  73. 73
    Jim says:

    Everyone is aware of the approaching disaster. We are just not allowed to speak of it because Alex Salmond says it is scare stories from the English (Westminster). We just have to pray the Scots will figure it out for themselves.

  74. 74
    Abul Krim says:

    and, not even mentioned on the BBC 6 o’clock News

  75. 75
    Vlad the Loudhailer says:

    But did Hitler gas faggots?

  76. 76
    Cpl Hicks says:

    I bet you never show your face on here again after the chcikenshite jocks vote no.

    As an Englishman I hope they vote yes but all that skirt wearing seems to have shrunk their balls.

  77. 77
    spanows says:

    Shakira’s nearby

  78. 78
    Stu says:

    Owen Jones.

    He doesn’t shit out of his arse in case one of his little friends wants to put his cock up it.

    Instead the shit comes out of his mouth and pours into the garbage he writes.

    Another totally useless champagne socialist oxygen thief and there are plenty of them.

  79. 79
    RomaBert... says:

    Socialism………. an orgasm for the rich lefties… :)

  80. 80
    Necrophiliac Dating Agency-Just Where Do They Dig These People Up From? says:

    No-one ever ‘doppelganger’s’ me! :(

    PS. Aren’t the Venezuelan government guilty of excessive force and murder due to their crackdown on protesters? (or has the MSM forgotten about that because was more than 2 weeks ago?).

  81. 81

    Who s the young, wimpy looking piece of scrawn next to the BBBW??

    Doesn t look as though he s got enough lead in his pencil to go one round with her let alone the whole night .

    She will quite literally eat him for breakfast .

  82. 82
    I own a Cat says:

    I’m being 112.4% British as I’ve existed here illegally for 4 years. I would have kids, but all the fat women are taken.

  83. 83
    I'm a 'World Citizen', because that justifies my wanton Cultural Genocide says:

    Do they, or have they ever, owned a Cat? That’s against their Human Rights to deport them if they have.

  84. 84
    English Nationalist-I'm bad, but Plaid and the SNP aren't says:

    You already know what I’m going to say. I’ll be cordial today….

  85. 85
    Oi vey, my life says:

    You see? Even with the mythical money tree of oil, even with its vast mind boggling wealth at its disposal true fundamentalist socialism is a failure.

    And still believers think that it will work given enough money, there is not enough enough wealth in the Galaxy to make true socialism work.

    Of course we see the comrades siphoning off most of the wealth for themselves, their clients and hangers on get their share but the lions share of the ‘peoples’ wealth is being diverted to tax havens from which the peoples kommissars can live like princes.

  86. 86
    Ed Balls-Banging Into Stationary Cars Because I'm Pissed says:

    I’m cleaver too! My IQ is the √fuck all! That’s what we want our Debt to be, so I’m the obvious choice!

  87. 87
    Venezuela Medial Corps says:

    Don’t suffer from hay fever! Only the rich can afford toilet paper!

  88. 88
    HenryV says:

    Is there a differenced between National Socialists and nationalised socialist?

  89. 89
    HenryV says:

    Yes he should go. Just turn up at Simón Bolívar International Airport and demand a house, benefits, and free stuff…….

    Even better take a shipping container for the full immigrant experience.

  90. 90
    boredhousehusband says:

    Guido forgot the Tax on Breathing they recently brought in…

  91. 91
    Wicked Pedia says:

    “he describes himself as a “fourth generation socialist”; his grandfather was involved with the Communist Party and his parents met as members of the Trotskyist Militant tendency”. Just how much does little Owen earn? 6 figures? Bloody hypocritical champagne socialists. I can bet you he ‘minimizes’ his tax by some method or other. Nice to extoll the virtues of the State on the one hand, yet run from paying your dues on the other. BTW Owen, I’m a 6th Generation Squaddie, try giving your life to the state and not just your haughty ideas. Fucking moron.

  92. 92

    The official housing policy for “social housing” appears to be based upon tribalism. Somalis here, Martians over there, anti-social bastards everywhere. It makes all sorts of things harder, eg mounting revenge attacks on other tribes, as the term “self-policing” really just means providing your own defence force; or easier, like keeping the buggers in. Ring Roads are a very good defence line when everything’s gone tits up and the natives are revolting. And if you can station your Territorial Reserves and Armouries outside the defence line, well you know….they are cheaper than Regulars and they provide their own living accommodation and they’re available to send overseas to supplement depleted Regular Units and they’re here.

  93. 93
    I say I say I say says:

    Second from left = Frankie Boyle

  94. 94
    Fairy's Tales says:

    Nowt wrong with Hans. I read them to my kid.

    The Emperor’s New Clothes told more political truth than any of Owen’s tales which are neither use nor ornament.

  95. 95
    Fairy's Tales says:

    Also Orwell was scathing of the champaigne socialists of his day

  96. 96
    Whitney Houston says:

    Next flight to Phoenix, I’m outta here.

  97. 97
    M­a­­q­b­o­­ul says:

    Scotland take note.

  98. 98
    M­a­­q­b­o­­ul says:

    I think they are actually deluded. The excuse is always “but real socialism has never been tried”. Our socialism will be the real thing. It will be a “fairer” society in which we will take money off those that work hard and give it to those that can’t be arsed. And if they object we will beat the shit out of them or shoot them against the wall. That’s fair.

    As a creed it totally ignores human nature. Man’s greed should be harnessed not suppressed.

  99. 99
    M­a­­q­b­o­­ul says:

    Yes, fascism is socialism without the bread queues.

  100. 100
    M­a­­q­b­o­­ul says:

    You get millions writing crappy books and now you make Guido’s Comment of the Day. Bollocks.

  101. 101
    Hacked off X-pat says:

    Since when did having access to state benefits have anything to do with anything when it comes to equalisaton of income through taxation? (except what we have is more like giving £10.00 to charity when only £1.00 ends up where the gift is intended- and the rest is spent on ‘admin’).

    The latest is – retirees living abroad are going to be deprived of their personal £10k tax allowance, and will be forced to pay tax on all their ‘massive’ state pension of what £6k pa?, reducing it by 20% and thereby forcing pensioners back to the UK in desperation- probably leaving their ‘unsaleable – recession hit -homes’ behind them.

    Those in charge of the math, seem to have forgotton that those millions of pensioners are not net contributors but will be service receivers of a grande order – when it comes to claiming for a home in the UK they can no longer afford to buy, tax credits, help with fuel bills and NHS services well into old age.
    Apart from causing mayhem – with such an immoral stance – (pensioners being forced to pay tax to support a country they no long live in, or benefit from any services, and doing it to over 65’s who’ll find it impossible to find local employment to to up- unemployment in Europe even is as high as it ever was).

    If you have any ideas of planning for retirement – well good luck with that.
    It might help savers to know the govt won’t be trying to claim their hard earned cash as a bail out like Argentina, Poland and elsewhere where they’ve already claimed social security funds. Why bother saving at all?

  102. 102
    Anonymous says:

    “Socialist Paradise Update”
    Corrupt crony capitalism 0. Needs of the people 1.
    Real Democracy to meet Faux Democracy in the finals.

  103. 103
    Dangerous Brian says:

    Animal Farm really rips the p*ss out of the Jones & Brand school of socialism.
    These c*nts have probably never read Orwell, or if they have have simply chosen to misinterpret it.
    Typical socialist one track minded hypocrites.
    Why don’t they all f*ck off and live in Venezuela if it’s such a paradise?

  104. 104
    Socialist Realism says:

    It is not that Socialism has failed, it just hasn’t succeeded yet.

  105. 105
    Sandalista says:

    I am glad you cleared that up.

  106. 106
    Sandalista says:

    (Actually it is not my shop)

  107. 107
    Sandalista says:

    At least there is a fair chance there will be no fifth generation.

  108. 108
    Anonymous says:

    I’ve just saw that the Maduro regime has now instituted fingerprinting to discourage bulk buying in Venezuelan supermarkets during this shortage period.

  109. 109
    Mike Hunt says:

    Which is why they are brought here in the first place.

  110. 110

    Well, what we do with socialists, when we can at last get them all, is send them to somewhere where there’s nothing of what they say they don’t approve of, and don’t want hard-working-children-and-families to have.

    The Rotherham Council scumbags and Police (from there I guess too) who will join the other fc*k3r$ will find nobody to arrest for paedophilic rape that interferes with the promotion of vibrant multiculti-diversity.

    The South Sandwich Islands (the small southerly bare ones, very windy and cold and dry all the time, and there’s no cover at all) is a good start.

    Alternatively, we could do an oil-gas-deal with shootinputin187, in which we agree to buy a load of fuels for a long time, and then we will be allowed to “let them ashore” on Novaya-Zemlya.

    On either place, they will be able to enjoy the lack of capitalist irritants, and also each other.

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