August 19th, 2014

Farage Cannot Feel the Love Tonight

Elton John has gone and broken Nigel Farage’s heart, pouring cold water on speculation that the singer could come out and support UKIP. Nigel, who has recently confirmed he’s still standing in Thanet South, had made the comments over the weekend:

“Maybe I’ve got a big announcement to make, you never know,” Farage said. “Like a lot of things I get invited to, a lot of private lunches and dinners and I never ever say a word about them. I was invited by Elton John and David Furnish to their house for a dinner which was held six or seven weeks ago. There were 15 or 20 people there. It was a private dinner but, yeah, we talked about politics and current affairs and all of these things and, yes, actually the press reports were right: I got on very well with Elton John indeed.”

The sun hasn’t gone down completely on their relationship though, Elton’s minions confirmed the pair got on very well, but stress, I hope you don’t mind, I hope you don’t mind, but “Elton will not be favouring any party.” And I guess that’s why they call it the blues…


  1. 1
    Bill Quango MP says:

    Do lefties support Hamas because it sounds quite like Hummus ?

  2. 2
    Anon says:


  3. 3
    Nick Clegg says:

    Best eaten with some pity bread.

  4. 4
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    Tumbleweed Connection.

  5. 5
    Anon says:

    Think he meant Orvile?

    Yeh I stole that gag. But still LOL!

  6. 6
    Critical Review says:

    Absolute shite. Much worse than dial M for Murdoch.

  7. 7
    Ah ffs says:

    If Farage needs a bit of Elton John’s love to carry on being leader of UKIP then UKIP would be better off without Farage

  8. 8
  9. 9
    Pookie snackumberger says:

    That’s it, I’m not voting UKIP.

    Vote UKIP

  10. 10
    George Michael says:

    Have you seen my latest release?

  11. 11

    Ferguson analysis that was perhaps missing from the D’uggan case:

    Vote UKIP :-D

  12. 12
    White Dee says:

    Oi loik it here in the Big Bruvver arse.

  13. 13
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    That is one of Russel Brands better jokes. :-)

  14. 14
  15. 15
    Col. Nut says:

    And a rocket salad.

  16. 16
    Nigel Sportsjacket says:

    I’m still standing!

    {Even though i won’t win}

  17. 17
    Bill Quango MP says:

    That old fart lost the plot in about 1976.
    its so long since he’s had the plot he can’t even remember which continent he was on the last time he had it.

  18. 18
    Jack Russell says:


  19. 19
    Fred the pensioner says:

    The one entitled The Yellow Dick Road?

  20. 20
    nell. says:

    russellbrand tells jokes? !!

  21. 21
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    Brand meant that Jones is as shallow as the River Orwell.

  22. 22
    Nigel Fararse says:

    God supports UKip.
    God does not support gay marriage.

  23. 23
    Elton says:

    How do you know?

  24. 24
    Col. Nut says:

    Or was it “Zip up my doodah?”

  25. 25
    Ah ffs says:

    Hadn’t realised Micheal White was back from planet Zog, those light-years certainly went fast.

  26. 26
    Col. Nut says:

    Is Jones as shallow as Russel Brand?

  27. 27
    rubbish magic part 2 says:

    Both are garbage.

  28. 28
    Say it how it is says:

    “Our generation” how young does dirty old man Russell Brand think he is?
    Grow up you silly old c*nt or you’ll end up in jail for fucking a 14 year old

  29. 29
    Anon says:

    What is the David Hasselhoff doing with Orville?

  30. 30
    nell. says:

    I’m sure farage will manage very well without any celebrity endorsements. Leave celebrity endorsements to the labour party.

  31. 31
    Ham + Ass says:

    And al Shebab Kebabs

  32. 32

    A missing piece of the puzzle:

    Vote UKIP :-D

  33. 33
    nell. says:

    I’m sure farage will manage very well without any cele brity en dorse ments. Leave cel ebr ity end ors ements to the labour party.

  34. 34
    nell. says:

    I see the mad student modder is back for the summer hols.

  35. 35
    stupid girl says:

    Its all over bar the crying.

  36. 36
    Mad,mozzie Medievalist says:

  37. 37
    ZioPikey says:

    I can still recall the order-order glory days of Mcmental and Mcbride

    this site is shiite now

  38. 38
    Gordon Brown says:

    You want me back in office so you can enjoy those vintage Guido days again?
    Sarah get my clean underpants I’ve got a voter.

  39. 39
    BBC 24hr Rolling Bollocks says:

    I loved Elton’s tribute song when Mother Theresa died.
    ‘Sandals in the bin’

  40. 40
    Dangerous Brian says:

    An endorsment from that modern genius and free thinker Russel Brand?
    Go straight to the remainder bin in The Book Store, do not pass go, do end up in a pile next to that other modern classic “My Booki Wooki”.
    Fu*k off for a reality check the pair of you.

  41. 41
    And weak puns says:

    all together now you Sun workers

    smear, smear, smear, smear, smear, smear, smear, smear, smear,

  42. 42
    Sarah 'Eva' Braun says:

    You have no clean pants.

  43. 43
  44. 44
    Ambassador from Planet Zog says:

    Please don’t trivialise our planetary reality by associating it with that pompous, delusional, old git.

  45. 45
    Boris Spasticky says:

    Yeah, all over the cubicle wall. Dirty bastard.

  46. 46
    Col. Nut says:

    I’m sure that whilst outdoors recently I read something by him on Kindle in the wind.

  47. 47
    Hello Magazine says:

    Free food and lodgings spending all her time drinking chatting and smoking fags.
    How will White Dee adjust to living in the BB House?

  48. 48
    The two Muppets says:

    Russell Brand is full of his own self importance ,and he spouts
    utter crap . He has no consistent views on anything ,He always
    seems to be spaced out . What a role model .

  49. 49
    The two Muppets says:

    I think that you will win ,but you will be the only one .

  50. 50
    Just a bit of fun what what says:

    I’m confused. I thought you righties said only Labour and Lib Dems have nonces. So how could this happen? I think this is clearly a conspiracy against good, decent, hetero family men. Free Napier!!!

    Charles Napier, half-brother of Conservative MP John Whittingdale, charged with sexually abusing 21 boys in the 1960s and 1970s

  51. 51
    Mr Trellis says:

    “Our generation’s Orwell” Russell Brand.

    Wow, he managed to put three words together. Shame he wasn’t on topic.

  52. 52
    Ed Twelvety Balls says:

    Miliband is a complete numpty sometimes.

    Earlier today he asked me the value of PI. Obviously, I replied that I couldn’t provide an answer because Greggs do a good range and he hadn’t specified the type of filling.

  53. 53

    Some in R’ussia have taken lessons from the maximum imbecile, or did they train him ?

    Vote UKIP :-D

  54. 54
    I Roger Boys MP says:

    Dont let your son go down on me

  55. 55
    cured lefty says:

    When are we going to see a dead hamas fighter(terrorist)receiving the mossie version of the victoria cross……
    all we get is images of dead women and children
    The fucking effrontery of sky , bbc reporters constantly flashing the emotional card, again when are these biased bastards going to parade a dead hamas fighter?
    And where is Bowen the king of the pally cocksuckers?

  56. 56
    Ambassador from Planet Zig says:

    Thank goodness for free movement of people, we rejoiced when he left!

  57. 57
    Does the Pope shit in the woods? says:

    So essentially Elton confirms that he is not voting UKIP after – err – never actually saying that he would vote UKIP in the first place.

    In other news, David Bowie isn’t voting UKIP either.

  58. 58
    RomaBert... says:

    Obviously other brands are available and equally scrumptious, I heard Ed likes a good ham and cheese….

  59. 59
    I Roger Boys MP says:

    Breaking news!
    And another waggon load of human dross is found at a service station in Ilminster Somerset
    No doubt Dave will also let this fucking lot stay aswel

  60. 60
    Hattie says:

    It was the value of PIE, which is very high if we don’t continue to supress it and smear the Daily Mail

  61. 61
    RomaBert... says:

    Jones and Brand, a couple of tossers who do NOT appeal to the yoof!

  62. 62
    Vote Ukip, get a Lab/LibDem coalition, the most pro-EU combo of all says:


  63. 63
    It's not about religion really or marriage for that matter says:

    Rather than start our own church we thought we would impose ourselves on someone else’s.
    Carefully choosing a church that is soft enough in the head to put up with our shit and avoiding those one’s whose followers would chop our heads off.

  64. 64
    RomaBert... says:

    A big thumbs up today for the IDF :)

  65. 65
    I Roger Boys MP says:

    “I got on very well with Elton John indeed.”

    Did he promise to pop one in your box ?

  66. 66
  67. 67
    Left winger swinger says:

    A half brother.Not even a full brother of a tory MP.
    Close but no bum cigar

  68. 68
    táxpáyér says:

    BBC Headline
    “Isreal hits Gaza”. Typical Lefty scum.

  69. 69
    táxpáyér says:

    Paniagua has got it right, He’s “our” generations Orville.

  70. 70
    Norm Normal says:

    What makes me laugh about Brand and his obsession with Orwell is that Brand either hasn’t read it or didn’t understand it.

    In 1984 Britain is in the grip of extreme socialism brought about by socialist revolution.

    Orwell’s work warns against precisely the things that Russell Brand and Owen Jones promote.

    Can’t tell if they are thick or ignorant but please guys don’t sully the work of Orwell with your socialist rantings when it’s obvious he would have disagreed with you.

  71. 71
    Norm Normal says:

    Some professor bedwetter on BBC news 24 just condemned violence and the shooting in Missouri as disproportionate.

    Yes it looks like ‘disproportionate’ is the leftard word of the summer 2014.

    So lefties don’t forget, if anyone asks you anything say ‘disproportionate’ and feel smugly superior, even though you can’t rationalise the debate, think of an alternative answer or understand the subject.

  72. 72
    A Certain Former Lib Dem MP says:

    Don’t judge him too harshly; it isn’t easy trying to crap through a glory hole.

  73. 73
    Dangerous Brian says:


  74. 74
    Say it how it is says:

    A country can manage fine without black people but it can’t manage without a police force.
    Time the black community accepted that.

  75. 75
    Dangerous Brian says:

    What about the poor guy on the other side?
    Thats not easy either.

  76. 76

    Understandable – shouldnt mix with politics

  77. 77

    It’s like wind in the candle. innit??

  78. 78
    Cynic says:

    I thought Elton came out years ago

  79. 79
    The only Country in Europe not to have its own paliament is England says:

    He said Orwelian you twat

  80. 80
    General Pinochet says:

    Oh come on…….’does the Pope ship in the woods’…………of course Elton is going to vote UKIP! He just can’t……….come out!

    Back in Chile, in the good old days, we prided ourselves in democratic elections………we’d hold the free and fair elections………..we just didn’t bother counting any votes!

  81. 81
    General Pinochet says:

    Taxpayer……..back in Chile, we prided ourselves in not discriminating against Jewish people, or any other faiths or political creeds. We treated them all the same…………like shit!

    Hasta la Victoria siempre………UKIP! Viva el Presidente Farage!

  82. 82
    táxpáyér says:

    Rioting when a policeman stop a robber from doing anymore robbing looks disproportionate.

  83. 83
    AdeusBarroso says:

    Nah! It just has to be bacon for our Ed!

  84. 84
    Yawn says:

    Fuck off with your endless shitstirring, ZioNAZI.

  85. 85
    Hugh Jorgan says:

    Hamas? Wot, you Mean West ‘Am?

  86. 86
    Ben Dover says:

    A little ham + lots of fist

  87. 87
    Yawn says:

    Fuck of Moshe, you shitsirring, hatemongering ZioLoon..

  88. 88
    Aaron says:

    Aid War Crimes! Aid Israel!

  89. 89

    Oh do fuck off Bill we ve done that subject . This is a NEW blog . Change the stylus if not the record …. please !!

  90. 90
    RomaBert... says:

    I assume you have a limited education :) should read ‘off’ not ‘of’ :) Actually the rest of it is sh*t also, ahhhhh bless ‘im :)

  91. 91

    …. but never bacon … it s too streaky in the mouth and …..
    ” slopes” off in all directions.

  92. 92

    …. but Sean Connery may well be voting for Independence if he can remember where Scotland us ….

  93. 93

    “Our generation s Orwell” ( Russell Brand !!)

    What ? –still living in 1984 when he was possibly only a twinkle in
    mummy s eye ?

    …. or just possibly ..”communing ” with the piggies down on Animal Farm ?

    …. but in all probability Down and Out in London and Paris …..

  94. 94

    So sad So sad .
    It s a sad sad situation .
    And it s gettin’ more and more absurd .
    So sad — why don’t we talk it over
    Because it seems to me
    That Sorry seems to be the hardest word .

  95. 95
    Cpl Hicks says:

    Why do you keep going on about Moshe? What has a character from Super Mario Cart got to do with the suicide bummers from ha’mas?

    You complete and utter fukwit!

  96. 96
    Cpl Hicks says:

    How about you fuck off? If you don’t like the comments fuck off. You’re doing fcuk all to change anyone’s opinion on here you total and utter fcuking retard.

  97. 97
    Observer says:

    Not what he said. They just confirmed they do not publicly support any political party. A refreshing change from all the Lefty Luvvies who publicly and perpetually wear their ignorant credentials on their sleeves.

  98. 98
    Pedantry is Us says:


  99. 99

    That settles it, if that little fat puff isn’t going to vote UKIP, then neither am I .

  100. 100
    Jessy Jacksons mob says:

    Calling a convicted violent Robber a violent robber is character assassination.

  101. 101
    A Nation of idiots says:

    The only thing that Brand promotes is himself and his bank balance. Only an absolute fucking idiot thinks otherwise.

  102. 102
    CesspoolSid says:

    DF said to Elton “U KIP – I’m going out, or was that coming out?

  103. 103
    Barracco Barner says:

    Who the fuck would WANT the ghastly old poof on their side anyway?

  104. 104
    Barracco Barner says:

    In other words” “Why won’t Whitey let us do whatever we fucking well want, bro?”

  105. 105
    Barracco Barner says:

    Brand and Jones: Knob-ends R Us!

  106. 106
    Barracco Barner says:

    Fuck off yourself, J’ew-hater!

  107. 107
    Anonymous says:

    “Farage Cannot Feel the Love Tonight”
    Don’t those things usually have a numbered control knob, incorporated into the handle? Or maybe it’s impossible to concentrate on the task in hand, because potential supporters keep asking difficult questions about the nature of UKIP ideology.

  108. 108
    Mine d'Boggles says:

    Pinner County has a lot to answer for.

Seen Elsewhere

Users of Gay Hook-Up App Grindr Infected | TechnoGuido
ISIS Raising Funds Online Using Bitcoin | TechnoGuido
UKIP’s Youth Challenge | BBC
ISIS Operative: This Is How We Send Jihadis To Europe | BuzzFeed
Shapps Defends Bashir Defection | Seb Payne
Tory Leadership Contenders Jostle Over Europe | Alex Wickham
Cutting Taxes is Good For You | Art Laffer
Suspects Will Now Have to Prove Innocence | Laura Perrins
Labour Cllr: Cops Shouldn’t Stop Petrol Thieves | HandF Forum
Creeping Cultural Acceptance of Anti-Semitism | Eric Pickles
Time For Greece to Leave Eurozone | Allister Heath

Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,716 other followers