August 18th, 2014

We’re All Gone On A Summer Holiday


  1. 1
    dai yawning says:

    so you have got out of bed today

  2. 2
    Boris Spasticky says:

    Doubtful, he can do this from his faptop.

  3. 3
    Lord Upam says:

    They are in Portugal with Sir Cliff.

  4. 4
    Cpl Hicks says:

    Looking forward to the book review. Wonder what bollox the hypocritical little cnut has come up with this time.

  5. 5
    unbiased says:

    You Fawkers seriously need to brush up on the evils of the Zlonlst scurge.

  6. 6
    Useless fat fuck says:

    This is one of the better stories Guido has broken this year

  7. 7
    Enjoy this summer! says:

    This will be the last summer we are able to enjoy with common sense if Milishit and Harperson and Ballsup wins next year.

    So enjoy it now people. Next year we wont be able to enjoy freedom or relax. I think people should appreciate the safety peace and security the Tories under David Cameron has given us all with thaeir leadership of purpose.

    Next year we’ll be back to credit cards, flat broke and have our freedoms curtailed by Brussels and Harperson. At least David Cameron is a respected world statesman same as Blair and Thatcher and can stand up to the world!

    Milishit could not and cannot do it!

  8. 8
    RomaBert... says:

    It’s a big thumbs up for the IDF from me today :)

  9. 9
    Supermarket stock checking nazi says:

    Today i will be mainly around Aldi

    You will comply

  10. 10
    NO SEATS NIGEL says:

    I’ll be having an early summer holiday next May. Cheers.

  11. 11
    unbiased says:

    Hello, Hasbara Shlomo.

  12. 12
    Joe Public says:

    Vote UKIP and send the Tilbury immigrants home.

    Or vote FibLabCon and get f’ucked over, again.

  13. 13
    Anonymous says:

    Won’t be greatly missed, I suspect.

    Guido’s blog has been in sad decline for more than a year now.

    Usually just visit for the comments/comic section now.

  14. 14
    Ed Milishambles says:

    It’s good to see it’s not just the Labour Party that can fuck up the simplest of things.

  15. 15
    Gordon McBreath says:

    To whoever posted the comment about having a prime time dump..the one that come out like a torpedo and weighed 459g.

    I am still waiting for the photos so I can include it in my next book.


  16. 16
    Baroness Warsi says:


  17. 17
    nell. says:

    Not to worry I’m more likely to travel to the moon for next year’s summer hols than militwit and bullybals are to get elected to no 10 and no11 in 2015

  18. 18
    Tachybaptus says:

    When ‘Cameron’ and ‘respected’ occur in the same sentence, it usually includes ‘not’.

  19. 19
    Moshe says:

    Since we own him now, that’s the intention! Ve must order him to mod out all the criticism of us in de comments though. Oy Vey!

  20. 20
    We're going abroad next May says:

    We are renting a house abroad and leaving this country on 8 May 2015 and cashing in everything we own. If Tories win we will be back the following May. If Liebour win we’ll rent another house in France and sell UK one!

  21. 21
    Tachybaptus says:

    Sadly, even the comments are dominated by one-track maniacs banging on endlessly about their obsessions.

  22. 22
    Julian Ass says:

    I’m sneaking out now. Whilst Guido is away.


  23. 23
    Tachybaptus says:

    In the circumstances, France seems a very poor choice.

  24. 24
    Sayonara Warsi says:

    I resigned just at the point that the leaders ensured a ceasefire.

    What a foolish women I look now.

    Luckily I didn’t resign from the Lords or I’d have no job and no income and no prospects.

  25. 25
    táxpáyér says:

    Camoron gets even more useless. The most pampered group that leeches off the rest is to get even more.

  26. 26
    táxpáyér says: Killing Islamic terrorists so we don’t have to!

  27. 27
    I'll buy your house!!!! says:

    Sell to me. I will give you low price now and when you return under Tories in 2020 your house -which will be my house – will be worth so much more I can then buy your rented house In France and retire!

  28. 28
    Joe Public says:

    A comedian.

  29. 29
    táxpáyér says:

    out of the frying pan, into the core of the sun…

  30. 30
    Hitler had the right idea says:

    everything started to decline when I left
    Now Guido looks like Jo Brand and is assisted by two Tory wannabes in elastic braces and a pensioner who looks like he provides Werthers Mints outside schools

  31. 31
    táxpáyér says:

    Moshy, slowmo, hasbro is 3,2,1…

  32. 32

    Even with that important qualifier those two words should not appear in a sentence unless absolutely unavoidable.

    Dave don’t do respect – he prefers passive aggression.

    Vote UKIP :-D

  33. 33
    David Cameron says:

    I am going to defeat ISIS without any ground troops or indeed without any military force. What I intend to do is learn to become a powerful wizard and use my magic to destroy the insurgents. I have summoned Daniel Radcliffe and Ian McKellen to a COBRA meeting this evening where I will ask them to teach me their spells.

  34. 34
    Blowing Balloons says:

    Oi! Watch it, mush!

  35. 35
    Tony Blair says:

    Interesting idea Dave but unnecessary. George Bush and myself have already defeated them and brought peace to the Middle East with the power of Jesus.

  36. 36
    Elsie at the Fox & Werrity says:

    These container people – if they paid someone to come here, does that make them tourists?

  37. 37
    Enjoy this summer! says:

    None of you will be laughing when Milishit is in. None of you. We will all be in prison and Guido will no doubt be shutdown by Harperson’s “balance in the media act”!

  38. 38
    Hitler had the right idea says:

    Olwyn Jones will be holidaying on Mykonos with the following books

    Das Kapital
    Mein camp
    Buggery for boys
    50 shades of brown
    the joy of removing mens kecks

  39. 39
    Dubya says:

    Mission Accomplished

  40. 40
    Ed Moribund says:

    I have already instituted a 15 month freeze on beheading, murder, mass genocide and religious terror.

  41. 41
    Dubya says:


  42. 42
    táxpáyér says:

    Well that justabout wraps it up for solar power.

  43. 43
    Farley the Charley says:

    Cameron looking for his own war before May 2015, you have 640 MPs give them gu ns and let them go to war, leave our military out of it, how many countries does the world have, how about all the getting together in a group let’s call it the United Nations and let them sort it out, you Camoron and the LibLabCons and your Liberal lefties have destroyed this country, we cannot afford to be the country of choice for the trash of the world for immigration and benefits and charity, seeing we the tax payer and all the children into many years into the future will be paying for this because of you and your corrupt mates, May 2015 is not too far away Camoron have you ordered your removal van.

  44. 44
    M103 says:

    It would have been “nice” if CallMe had actually had Parliament back to allow him to start another war.

    Now we know, that, as many of us forecast on here, it’s mission creep. That is, if it was ever intended NOT to creep

  45. 45

    Ben Franklin:

    ‘Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety.’

    But is L’ondon becoming more like the Meanwhile City of Franklyn ?

    Vote UKIP :-D

  46. 46
    Ed Milishambles says:

    Can I come to the COBRA meeting, the Labour Party will supply all the Owls?

  47. 47
    George Osborne's cat says:

    Anyone who doubts that Islamic Fundamentalism is already embedded in our society only needs to walk the streets of London, or should that now be Londonistan.

    I suggest starting at Whitechapel Market. You would be forgiven for thinking you are in Saudi Arabia if you went there and saw all the burka clad girls and the boys in dresses going to and from the madrassas where all manner of rubbish is taught. Last time I was there, I got into a three way conversation with a so-called ‘moderate’ muslim (an oxymoron if ever their was one) and a Jehovah’s Witness who was trying to convert him.

    I cannot repeat what the ‘moderate’ Muslim was saying about the J e w s, but it was roughly similar to what I used to hear when I taught in the Islamic Republic of Westminster.

    IN that borough – where the seat of government lies – in 2007 I was told at a teaching conference that 80% of the children in its secondary schools were children with Muslim parents. Most of the kids I taught went to ‘moderate’ mosques too, again, I cannot repeat what they used to say to me when they found out that I was living in lodgings at the time with a J e w i s h family.

    Parents evenings were fun there. Suppose I had refused to speak to or shake hands with a parent because they were black. How long would my teaching career have lasted? Yet, it was ROUTINE that there were certain parents who would not deal with you or even shake hands with you because you were not Muslim. And the school just accepted it.

    One of the boys I taught brought me in a Muslim parents guide he’d got from his ‘moderate’ mosque. This lovely little tome contained for example, directions to parents to instruct their children against having non-Muslim friends. But, if the inevitable were to happen, those children were to be instructed to ensure they used a lesser greeting to their non-Muslim friends than their Muslim ones.

    The brainwashing that went on with these kids was scandalous. 13 year old boys ought to be interested in girls and football, but not these kids. They didn’t go to Scouts, youth clubs or all the other things 13 year olds do, because as they would tell me time after time, they were only interested in learning more about their religion. And so, night after night, they put on their little dresses and skull caps and trooped down the mosque.

    And because that has been allowed to happen entirely unchallenged – and often wholly supported by THE LEFT of all people – we are now facing the massive threat of Islamist fundamentalism on our own shores.

    Mr Cameron, when are you going to wake up and smell the caliphate?

  48. 48
    Agreed, but... says:

    Do not disagree with any of the above sentiments. However, the electorate will vote as they wish, regardless of our warnings to try and stop the rot. What can common sense people do to stop Militant? Can he be stopped? The reality will be a living horror show but what can we do?

  49. 49
    Frank Frontbottom says:

    Any terror attacks by IS supporters in Britain will be directly caused by Cameron’s decision to get involved in this mess.

  50. 50
    Hitler had the right idea says:

    I will now be changing my shopping habits and shall patronise Mohammed Al Sainsburys market stall
    all meat is fly blown
    shoplifters wiil have their hands chopped off
    Alcohol Haaram, same with pork and shellfish
    bin liners with eyeholes as pacamacs for ladies who will be unable to enter the store unaccompanied by a close male rrelative
    just incasr any infidel is driven wild with lust when they look upon our morbidly obese women folk

  51. 51
    Gordon Brown MP says:

    Today I shall be listening to 80’s music and looking at pictures of Ian Botham’s todger. Good bye.

  52. 52
    Anonymous says:

    Send in U.S. B52s to carpet bomb the Islamic State. The more ordinance dumped on them the better. They cannot be reasoned with

  53. 53
    Thompsons says:

    No, but the people who organised the trip really should become members of ABTA.

  54. 54
    táxpáyér says:

    their importation has kept down wages but more importantly kept rents high, and the liblabcon party are there to ensure rent-seeking continues above all else.

  55. 55
    Ed Davey says:

    £30-£40 !! No thanks I’m not wasting that much of the taxpayers hard earned money on such accurate data.

  56. 56
    Kid Jenson says:

    Yep, the terrorists hate Love Shack.

  57. 57
    Not Blowing Whistles says:

    The US and UK military are going into Iraq to help ISIS.

    The purpose of ISIS is to help create a Greater Israel.

    In order to create a Greater Israel the following countries have to be broken up: Iraq, Syria, Lebanon, Jordan, Egypt, Saudi Arabia and Kuwait.

    ISIS began its invasion of Iraq from NATO-member Turkey.

    In order to trick the public in the USA and UK, ISIS has produced photographs of various ‘atrocities’.

    ISIS managed remarkably quickly to control a large part of Iraq.

    Reportedly the ISIS forces have been trained and armed by the USA and its allies.

    Above, we see a U.S. military airstrike on a Humvee near the Mosul Dam.

    The USA and UK may now be pretending to attack ISIS, while actually secretly helping them.

  58. 58
    Paniagua says:

    That’s no way to talk about the landlord.

  59. 59
    Owen Jones says:

    Buy my new book!

    The Establishment: they all call me a wanker and get away with it!

    Buy my old book!

    Chavs: it takes one to know one.

  60. 60
    Russ Conway says:

    Cliffie, Harry, Kitty – whatever. Don’t come back to the UK from the Algarve. Just don’t.

    It’s the 1950’s Vice Squad revisited. You know you will end up in a cell with that awful hairy Australian, giving flute lessons to CAVEMEN. And think how cruel the court cartoonists will be with your turkey neck problem.

    Darling, use your lawyers. Develop a fear of flying, asthma, aphids – whatever. It’s only for a couple of years – you know that Dr Mengele’s needlework is all going to come undone with a ‘pop’ sometime soon.

  61. 61
    David Cameron says:


    Fuck off

  62. 62
    Frank Dobson says:

    I’ll sell you mine if you want.

    Oh wait.

  63. 63
    táxpáyér says:

    and the shock is the authors were/are pro “renewables”.

  64. 64
    Vote Tory vote often! says:

    Vote Tory, join the Tories and fight for them if you really want to stop Ed M.

    Good men are doing nothing!

  65. 65
    Hitler had the right idea says:

    It ill be funny when “tolerant” Olwyn Jones is doing the tyburn jig

  66. 66
    CanalGypsy says:

    Send me a free PDF link

  67. 67
    táxpáyér says:

    What colour is the sky on your planet?

  68. 68
    The public says:

    One paragraph summary please mate.

    No one is going to read all that shite

  69. 69
    Religious zealots says:

    She was raped, asked for an abortion, went on hunger strike, was required to sit in front of a panel of assessors to see if she met the risk if suicide, they waited 13 weeks before that appointment ….and then when the foetus was 26 weeks, she was forced to have a Caesarian section.

    Welcome to modern Republic of Ireland

  70. 70
    Hitler had the right idea says:

    Ill pay good money for those

  71. 71

    That’s not very passive ;-)

    Vote UKIP :-D

  72. 72
    Boris Spasticky says:

    Ooh, assertive at last.

  73. 73
    Repost says:

    Repost from yesterday….everyone thought it was shit then too.

  74. 74
    Anonymous says:

    Wibble tinfoil hatstand teabag rocket.

  75. 75
    nell. says:

    Well if it should happen we shall stand back and watch with interest. It will, of course be a short term disaster 1000 times worse han gurninggordon’s tenure of no 10. But! it will be the end of labour and at the 2019/2020 election they will be finished, a truly spent and discredited force.

  76. 76
    Ellie-Mae (9) says:

    Which schools? I quite ike Werthers

  77. 77
    nell. says:

    I reckon they may win about 3 seats which will be a good start – but just to get farage into the HoC will be a breath of fresh air

  78. 78
    The public says:

    That is possibly the most twattish thing anyone has ever said on this blog.

    So its quite an achievement

  79. 79
  80. 80
    Mark Carney and his Flying Circus says:

    Everyone is entitled to holidays and expense accounts.

  81. 81
    Boris Spasticky says:

    Second time he’s posted it, it was boring then.

  82. 82
    Ctesibius says:

    I wrote to ‘The Office of Tony Blair’ a while ago to ask how much the great man is paid to be ‘Peace Envoy’ to the Middle East. I received no reply.

    My proposal is that however much it is, we club together and offer him even more to be ‘War Envoy’ to the Middle East. On past form that should bring World Peace in quite a short time.

  83. 83
    Cynic says:

    Couldn’t organise a piss up then>???

  84. 84
    Skolastic says:

    Swallows and

    Appreciating Rimming-se-Korsakov on poppers.

    Eat shit and live.

  85. 85
    nell. says:

    A study of the last 100 years of Middle East History may just give you a more educated and balanced perspective. Other than that there appe a r s to be no hope for you.

  86. 86
    Brummie says:

    Good luck with tht one…
    Take a look around any midlands Sainsbury store, and all you see is burka-covered staff, and Romanians outside the store covering themselves in blankets like a reminder of H-block turdmerchants.

  87. 87
    Rightie Righton says:

    Funny how you righties went all silent on the issue of kiddie fiddling politicians when the attention turned to Tory nonces. The sensible position to take would be to condemn nonces on all sides whatever your politics and to demand all the p*edos, whether Labour, Tory or Lib Dem, are brought to justice. Blair protected his fiddlers with his D notice on Operation Ore, which Cameron’s done fuck all about, but when the reports about Tory fiddlers came out, suddenly it was no longer a matter of justice but “bedwetters and their hysteria”. So when a Labour pervert abuses kids, it’s disgusting, but when a Tory does it, it’s all “hysteria” and the victims were just working class orphans anyway and who gives a fuck about them.

    A p*edophile at the centre of a forthcoming historical abuse inquiry advised the Home Office on changes to the residential child care system. Peter Righton gave “considerable assistance” as an expert in child care to a government report in 1970. He had earlier left a teaching job over complaints of child abuse. He later became a member of a pro-p*edophile campaign group. Righton died in 2007.

    A former care professional familiar with the events said Righton travelled extensively carrying out research work during the period he contributed to the project and had been to children’s homes “all over the country” including Stoke-on-Trent, Wolverhampton, Rochdale and Preston. The former worker said that Righton had claimed that he “took boys out” and had also said he used “sexual” language with them. The source added that the words Righton had exchanged with the boys were “not something that you would have in a healthy conversation with a child”.

    By the mid-1970s, Righton had become a founding member of the P*edophile Information Exchange (PIE) which advocated sexual relationships between adults and children. Righton, who studied classics at Oxford University, was “deeply involved with the cult of the classical world that was very important to… the p*edophile movement”, focusing on stories of “Greek love” between men and young boys. Some of Righton’s interests were reflected in the Home Office advisory report. The section of the report which credited Righton called for residential child care workers to be trained in “the growth of civilisation” and “aesthetic values”.

  88. 88
    táxpáyér says:

    Support God, support Zlonlsm!

  89. 89
    anonymouse says:

    No more working for a week or 2

  90. 90
    Hitler had the right idea says:

    queen of the valleys

  91. 91
    The parliamentary Tory party says:

    We’re all going on a bummer holiday.
    No more breeders for a week or two.
    Fun and laughter on our bummer holiday.
    Just like Eton after lights out. Ooh!

  92. 92
    Cpl Hicks says:

    Any terror attacks by IS supporters in Britain will be directly caused by Tony Blair and New Labour.

    Fixed it for you.

  93. 93
    táxpáyér says:

  94. 94
    non taxable pikey says:

    Next year! It all goes to ratshite in November mate, QMV arrives.

  95. 95
    Norm Normal says:

    I read it yesterday too. Enjoyed it both times. Tallies with the stories of victims of white flight. I have heard several since the late 80s about non-muslims being forced out of schools in certain areas.

  96. 96
    Neil Down says:

    If you think anyone right wing still defends the Tory party, you need to re-educate yourself.

  97. 97
    Dr Specialist says:

    A classic case students..quite common, but still changeling..The patient searches the internet until they find someone who has a similar philosophy. Usually Nazi or religious .. Anyone who “disagrees” is “part of the conspiracy”

    Nurse- 25mg of bonkerzaprime and 5mg of loonyomellow.
    twice a day.
    If delusions persist put his genitals in a cuff.

    next patient..”ahh, Mr Brown, how are we today? Still saving the world..good..good..”.

  98. 98
    Cpl Hicks says:

    You are a fuckwit and I claim my £5

  99. 99
    Neil Down says:

    Also, aren’t you describing the exact same behaviour of Tom Watson and all the Labour p*edo hunters? Where is their enthusiasm for taking down the notorious nonce ring in the Yorkshire Labour Party and the suspected one in Blair’s cabinet?

  100. 100
    Britain will soon be an Islamic State if we don't get rid of the LibLabCon says:

    And when they’ve finished bombing Birmingham, the Americans can bomb Bradford and London, too.

  101. 101
    EC1 PhD says:

    Anyone who worries about what Owen Jones thinks about their holiday reading, definitely needs a holiday.

  102. 102
    Britain will soon be an Islamic State if we don't get rid of the LibLabCon says:


  103. 103
    Boris Spasticky says:

    A peedo is a peedo.

    Something you’re not telling us?

    Ask your hero Hattie.

  104. 104
    M­a­­q­b­o­­ul says:

    Like all kids they’ll react against their parents. Once they discover the delights of ale and loose English women with big bums, they’ll integrate all right.

  105. 105
    Cpl Hicks says:

    Mr Fuckwit carefully ignored the D Notices served after Dun’blane.

    He’s obviously another sad twat lefty more concerned about political point scoring than the actual crimes.

  106. 106
    M­a­­q­b­o­­ul says:

    No reason not to get involved. They won’t go away if you stick your head in the sand.

  107. 107
    Britain will soon be an Islamic State if we don't get rid of the LibLabCon says:

    A splendid effort. Another couple of verses and that’s next year’s Eurovision in the bag. :-)

  108. 108
    táxpáyér says:

    with the support of trolling sock puppets lol.

    Obviously scared of people being able to see your views.

    I know mumsies not there any more but you have to learn to be a bit tougher.

  109. 109
    táxpáyérsteinowitz says:

    Hello Shlomo!

  110. 110
    táxpáyérsteinowitz says:

    Yes, fry their babies!
    You really turn me on!

  111. 111
    Jimmy says:

    Holiday from what exactly?

  112. 112
    Owen "Brownshirt" Jones says:

    I usually take colouring books on my holidays, but very often the crayons melt in the sun.

    This year, though, I will be taking Mein Kampf.

    He was right, you know.

  113. 113
    unbiased says:


  114. 114
    RomaBert... says:

    Security provided by the IDF :)

  115. 115
    Banned says:

    When you say Islamic State, are you referring to Birmingham, Bradford or London?

  116. 116
    táxpáyérsteinowitz says:

    Shlomos are ze master race!

  117. 117
    RomaBert... says:

    True, still worth another visit :)

  118. 118
    táxpáyér says:


  119. 119
    Hitler had the right idea says:

    ban all containers that can float. pump all uk bound containers foll of co2
    drive lorries axel deep in bleach at ports of entry

  120. 120
    Tinfoil Hat Maker says:

    Tinfoil hat (single layer) £1
    Tinfoil hat (double layer) £2

    Premium Range (4 layers with added Faraday Cage for peace of mind) £25

    Order now while stocks last !

    p+p £1.50

  121. 121
    WoRaft Chihuahua says:

    Is it possible that burqhas are a cause of obesity as they tend to promote depression, isolation, sedentary semi-imprisonment, and hence comfort-eating?

    If so, maybe there are health grounds for banning them.

  122. 122
    vatizgoingon says:

    You reckon the Fawkers are in Tel Aviv for “training” courtesy of the Iz/american taxpayer?

  123. 123
    A Groomer says:

    Don’t you mean ’13 boys ought to be interested in girls’ ?

  124. 124
    RomaBert... says:

    No bias here……..

  125. 125
    Dangerous Brian says:

    We’re going where the bottom clenches tightly
    We’re going where the girls are few
    We’ve bu mmed them in our home towns
    So lets b um them somewhere new

  126. 126
    WoRaft Chihuahua says:

    Or Luton.

  127. 127
    The two Muppets says:

    Any terror attacks by IS supporters in Britain will be directly caused
    by Miliband and Labour who backed Assad and Putin a while back
    when they voted down a motion to threaten Assad if he did not stop
    bombing and murdering his own people . IS only came about because
    of the indecision of the West at that time .

  128. 128
    As much use as Chocolate teapots says:

  129. 129
    RomaBert... says:

    Hattie loved the pies and speedos, cannot understand why she changed her mind.

  130. 130
    Paniagua says:

    You, for a start.

  131. 131
    Dangerous Brian says:

    Everybody loves a b ummers holiday
    Bumming b*ys of every hue
    F*lching and r*mming on our b ummers holiday
    To make their dreams come true
    For a b oy or two,

  132. 132
    Internet looney says:

    Can I pay with bitcoin? If I use a credit card the CIA funded Mossad-Mi5 will get me.

  133. 133
    Meanwhile .............. says:

  134. 134
    The British media are cunts says:

    Are you bonkers? Plenty on here have had a go at the pervs and nonces in all parties, including the Tory scum.

  135. 135
    Tinfoil Hat Maker says:


    Order anything from our extensive range and get a free rectractable conspiracy antenna included absolutely free .

  136. 136
    Sainsburys says:

    Free yellow stars with all kosher food.

  137. 137
    Stop Sharia In Its Tracks says:

    Yep, sadly our political elite – both right and left actually – refuse to addess these truths. Not even UKIP dares address them.

    We need to move legally against Sharia law, unsupervised Sharia education, polygamy, cousin marriage, female apartheid, and linguistic separatism.

  138. 138
    Wake up & vote UKIP says:

    Oh shit, does that mean mumsnet just became self aware….

  139. 139
    Judge Jeffreys says says:

    LOL, they are moving to France to escape la merde hitting le fan! Priceless. What twats.

  140. 140
    Cpl Hicks says:

    She would have just been stoned to death in the Middle East.

  141. 141
    Ed Moribund says:

    Hello? Birdworld? Look…i made certain can you please let me have 42million owls ?

  142. 142

    Talkin’ ’bout
    Hey now
    Hey now
    ISIS ISIS an nay
    Jockomo feena ah na nay
    Jockomo feena nay

  143. 143
  144. 144
    A laundry basket says:

    Chukky: Isn’t this how the mozzies pray? Have I got it right?

    Plus, anyone know what that string hanging down the front of that bloke’s trousers is for?

  145. 145
    Conservative Ass-rooter says:

    “the policy is likely to be popular amongst conservative grassroots”

    Yeah. Trad Tories are bound to like the government telling them how to bring up their kids.

  146. 146
    Julian Ass says:

    I have been in a room, never going outside, for over two years now. My skin is whiter than a marshmallow. I have been staring at the internet for so long my eyes have squinted up like one of those cave dwelling slugs. My brain hurts from all the weird web sites I have read.

    But I can take it no more.I’m sick…and getting sicker…so I’m leaving the embassy and will surely be carried off by the authorities.

    So you won’t be reading my Blowing Whistle posts any longer.

  147. 147
    Cpl Hicks says:

    Nice one jimmy….fuckwittery doesn’t take a holiday when you’re concerned.

    Just remind us the name of that hugely popular and successful politics blog site you run again?

  148. 148
    Owen Jones's mum says:

    Why is Mr Forks so obsessed with my little Owen?

    He’s only a silly little boy, and Gheedough should find some friends his own age to play with.

  149. 149
    Yup, spot on says:

    Yup, spot on good lady. Every muzzy female rapidly puts on weight the moment she turns 20. Just walk down any muzzy infested High Street for proof. Same all over the muzzy world not just in Britain. Look at Indonesia, Malaysia, Brunei etc – fatty puddings galore all wearing outsize robes to hide their morbid obesity which they will never shed. Their husbands will not let them sit on their laps for fear of damaging themselves!

  150. 150
    Anonymous says:

    Clearly, being unable to see anything wrong with killing school children, the IDF lovers are forever going on about their heroes. Really sad.

  151. 151
    Tinfoil Hat Maker says:

    Not to mention their beards and taches . More billowing than their menfolk

  152. 152
    Li Shangyin says:

    Controls on autopilot now they are.

  153. 153
    Col. Nut says:

    The Islamic Stench was noted as a feature of the Taliban in Afghanistan where residents of Kabul spoke of the smell of their urine and faeces when they arrived in the city. And there was the Nigerian Islamist whose underpants bomb failed to ignite properly on the plane as he hadn’t changed them for a week.

  154. 154
    No 145 says:

    PS: But just wait to see what comes out by the truckload the moment the Yanks get me. You ain’t seen nuffink yet people!

  155. 155
    Anonymous says:

    Did not Hitler have the hard-right idea? For the SS, while murdering scum, were very smart. And he did get the trains to run on time.

  156. 156
    Lucan says:

    Could we not send our MPs on a trip to recreate the Charge of the Light Brigade ?
    A similar outcome would benefit the UK enormously.

  157. 157
    Norwegian Blue says:

    Owen Jones thinks ? Who knew ?

  158. 158
    Anonymous says:

    Another achievement. That is the most twattish thing anyone has said on this blog. Well, for an hour or two at least.

  159. 159
    allah baddie, islamic pyjama party says:


  160. 160
    I am Israeli says:

    God promised me your house. Give it to me now or I shoot you.

  161. 161
    Israeli says:

    God gave us the right to kill school children because ve are ze chosen ones.
    The IDF are God’s angels incarnate and you G o y are just here to serve us.
    Our chief Rabbi Ovadia Yosef even said so.
    Now go and have another war with Muslims for us, donkeyschmuck.

  162. 162
    ZlOLoon says:

    Good post, Hasbara komrade!
    Wind up those schmuck Goy against the Mozzies enemies and then we can ca$h in on selling them arm$ when they kill each other! Bwahahahahaha!

    Not had a good “terrorist attack” recently though, must do something about that, Oy Vey!

  163. 163
    Anonymous says:

    Give the CIA has a history of backing terror groups, is it not possible that the USA is putting on show of bombing ISIS in Iraq (for the folks back home) – while continuing to fund and train all kinds of murdering gangs in Syria?

  164. 164
    Anonyrnous says:

    Any terror attacks by IS supporters in Britain will be directly caused by Tony Blair and New Labour.

    …or by Zioloons stirring shit.

  165. 165
    Anonymous says:

    Or bombed with the most modern US missiles?

  166. 166
    Sainsburys says:

    What do you think of our new advertising campaign?

  167. 167
    Grenville Smith-Jones from Somerset honest says:

    Oy Vey! All this Hasb comradeship here reminds my of my days in the IDF gutshooting Pals. Did we laugh!

  168. 168
    Rentokil says:

    Another infestation of Hasbara Cockroaches going on here.

  169. 169
    ... says:

    Indeed… Start here!

  170. 170
    ... says:

    The US fund all sorts of murdering slime quite openly. The iDF for a start.

  171. 171

    was that realy meant to read “working” or was it a typo ?

  172. 172


    Who gave the Sprogs clout ? Who? Who?

  173. 173

    Woz ‘ee up there for some “charley” down Camden Lock Market?

  174. 174

    I think he may have just had surgery and it s the streamlined version of the traditional colostomy bag ….

  175. 175

    …… saves changing daily but it s a killer for laundry bills.

  176. 176

    Do you think Harperson will be Minister of Food and rename it The Pie Exchange?

  177. 177

    you rich show off bastards !

  178. 178

    We can do nothing individually if the collective riotous crowd is allowed to have its head and vote with its genitalia.

    Except possibly extend a warm embrace to
    the incoming …………… Armageddon.

  179. 179


    Ve haff veys of making you stack shelves and accept zero hours contracts…………Schweinhund !!

  180. 180
    RichUpNorth says:

    Chukka Umma : “… and like, they were this big. Beauties they were. Not like her over there with the fried eggs.”

  181. 181

    MAGNIFICENT , if only they had not been stabbed in the back when they took on the communists .

  182. 182

    There s always Toynbee Hall Sayeeda now that John Profumo has long vacated that post .

    Does nt pay much if at all — but hell will it give you a warm glow of satisfaction —- of having helped the poor and downtridden, who as
    I m sure you know are always with us … ….

  183. 183

    I did not realise Team Guido worked out if the Ecuadorian Embassy Jules.
    Did they forget to lock you in prior to getting on their charabanc to Southend with a crate if pale ale in the back seat ?

  184. 184

    …… you forgot the Baden-Powell classic ;

    “Scouting for Boys”

  185. 185

    “…. into the valley of death rode the ……640″

  186. 186

    ….. you fotgot FGM

  187. 187
  188. 188
    Anonymous says:

    Here’s the bad news.

    If the Scottish go for broke the North and Wales will go for it eventually and numpties like you will have to buy in The South.

    It’s a bit like Kiev needs Donbass and the East of Ukraine otherwise all you will have is a capital city with no Capital. Capital is gained from exploiting labour not clipping share coupons.

    If you thing the big boys in The City of London will help you out with low interest rates think again. 6 percent minimum next year for the borrowers.

    p.s. I live in France and they are copying the UK with higher taxes on ordinary people and cutting back on the Welfare State.

    You have obviously never met a Socialist because Hollande says he is but he isn’t.

    The next Labour Government will have to carry out 60% of the planned austerity in the next 5 years.

    Expect riots.

    Have a nice life and keep any eye on your savings and bank account.

    p.s Ask yourself thisquestion: Do you actually ‘own ‘ anything or are you a borrower. If you are a borrower put your tinhat on now.

  189. 189
    Anonymous says:

    Here’s the bad news.

    If the Scottish go for broke the North and Wales will go for it eventually and numpties like you will have to buy in The South.

    It’s a bit like Kiev needs Donbass and the East of Ukraine otherwise all you will have is a capital city with no Capital. Capital is gained from exploiting labour not clipping share coupons.

    If you thing the big boys in The City of London will help you out with low interest rates think again. 6 percent minimum next year for the borrowers.

    p.s. I live in France and they are copying the UK with higher taxes on ordinary people and cutting back on the Welfare State.

    You have obviously never met a Socialist because Hollande says he is but he isn’t.

    The next Labour Government will have to carry out 60% of the planned austerity in the next 5 years.

    Expect riots.

    Have a nice life and keep any eye on your savings and bank account.

    p.s Ask yourself thisquestion: Do you actually ‘own ‘ anything or are you a borrower. If you are a borrower put your tinhat on now.

  190. 190
    Anonymous says:

    Whole heartedly agree.

    One cannot walk down a London street these days and find a fellow in a bowler hat.

    I blame that Powell fella for importing the proletariat by ship.

    If only we could have forced the lazy white people in those days to pick up the baton and clean our hospitals and conduct our buses and so on.

    Of course that was our Bolshy workers wherein which they had their pick of employment and had us bourgois over a barrel.

    Now the boot’s on the other foot send Johnny Foreigner back to whence he came and have at the underclass do the jobs for half the price and be done with it.

    American foreign policy has ensured that myself and my good lady wife ( Deidre ) can go on three holidays a year to overseas shores un molested and unhindered.

    Except for Ukraine ,Iraq ,Afghanistan, Syria, Israel, Iran, Venuzuela and most of Africa and possibly Scotland as well as avoiding terrorist hotspots.

    All in all the good old Yanks have done a good job of winning over hearts and minds.

    Good on ‘em.

    p..s Deidre and I are planning on a little ski-ing holiday in Switzerland. Let’s hope the Romanche separatists don’t have a go at the ski lifts? otherwise we’re beggared. The old pins are not as good as they once were.

  191. 191
    SherryBlue says:

    Will Lady Hodge get her old job back, as Minister for Children? She deserves it. Or does she? Will Ballsie really have the sauce to be Chancellor again. Who will be PM? Not Miliwank?

    My husband and I are on tour – see us at the Shepherds Bush Empire.
    £20k a ticket.

  192. 192
    SherryBlue says:

    “I will not bomb anywhere, tonight. Tomorrow? Who knows. WE have to keep those Turks (is that right?) in order. I’m looking after our hard-working families and the million anti-social families as well. You can see I’ve got my work cut-out. How long now? Only 9 months – really?
    I’d better get over to the Job Centre”. (“Hello Bankers”!)

  193. 193
    Camerooney says:

    Lynton told me I was doing very well. He’s an immigrant you know.
    We need more houses, gotta put these people somewhere, they’re NOT staying in my house. Rebecca might object.

  194. 194
    ChopperHarris says:

    Don’t forget Leicester and Tower Hamlets.

  195. 195
    Diggergrave says:

    I’ve just seen a couple of those ISIS ‘blokes in McSainsburys. Might have been two of their wimmin tho’ Long dresses and slits for their eyes in the tea towel.

  196. 196
    Eliza says:

    Holidays, someone have it everyday. Eliza

Seen Elsewhere

Users of Gay Hook-Up App Grindr Infected | TechnoGuido
ISIS Raising Funds Online Using Bitcoin | TechnoGuido
UKIP’s Youth Challenge | BBC
ISIS Operative: This Is How We Send Jihadis To Europe | BuzzFeed
Shapps Defends Bashir Defection | Seb Payne
Tory Leadership Contenders Jostle Over Europe | Alex Wickham
Cutting Taxes is Good For You | Art Laffer
Suspects Will Now Have to Prove Innocence | Laura Perrins
Labour Cllr: Cops Shouldn’t Stop Petrol Thieves | HandF Forum
Creeping Cultural Acceptance of Anti-Semitism | Eric Pickles
Time For Greece to Leave Eurozone | Allister Heath

Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,716 other followers