August 15th, 2014

Hollibande Update: 2nd Quarter of Zero Growth in France

“What President Hollande is seeking to do in France and what he is seeking to do in leading the debate in Europe is find that different way forward. We are in agreement in seeking that new way that needs to be found and I think can be found.”

Ed Miliband, 2012.

The graph below shows just how things have gone en France in the two years that followed. Growth has stagnated at zero for a second quarter, Hollande’s government has slashed its growth forecasts, and has admitted it will miss its target for cutting the deficit.

Allister Heath is worth reading in the Telegraph today:

“It is hard to exaggerate the trouble that Francois Hollande, France’s president, now finds himself in. It is not just that his popularity has collapsed and that his misguided stewardship of the French economy has crippled his country, helping to deliver a second consecutive quarter of zero growth.

The real problem is that France is slowly but surely emerging as the eurozone’s weakest link… There was a time when economists thought that Greece, Spain or even Portugal would trigger the real, final eurozone crisis that would threaten the single currency and potentially lead to the unravelling of the entire bloc. Increasingly, it feels as if it will be France that will eventually emerge as the euro’s biggest threat, though of course the whole rotten structure is likely to stumble on for years to come.”

What was that about “the choice“?


  1. 1
    Labour=Waste says:

    Mad Franky Hollande leads the way to ruin, debt and unemployment. What a plonkeur!


    • 24
      Ed Balls says:

      So 0% + 0% = ???

      I wish Gordon was around in times like these.


      • 32
        Gordon McFuckwit Bust says:

        That’s double figures then so a 00% growth


      • 50
        Friend of Mrs Duffy says:

        Gordon Brown has been told his microphone has defaulted to being on and can not be turned off.


      • 114
        Mervyn King says:

        When I was just a wee little clerk at the BoE
        Gordon Brown put me in charge of the economy.
        I pushed one button and then the other and then I twisted its lid.
        And when I put it down again, this is what it did.

        It went Boom when it moved and Phut when it stopped and Whirr when it stood still.
        I never knew just how it worked and I guess I never will.

        It first turned up and then turned down and then rolled under a chair
        And when I looked where it had gone it wasn’t even there.
        I sweated and I panicked and dashed frenziedly about
        And found it in the fishpond just before the press found out

        And it went Boom when it moved and Phut when it stopped and Whirr when it stood still.
        I never knew just how it worked and I guess I never will.

        Of course this toy was really Wow! but I thought it would be Wow!er
        If it had gearing and deregulated power.
        So I hooked it up to HBOS, RBS and Northern Rock
        And it fell to pieces on the floor with a systemic shock.

        And it went Boom when it moved and Phut when it stopped and Whirr when it stood still.
        I never knew just how it worked and I guess I never will.

        So I took it round to my friend Mark and asked him if he knew
        How to mend it with low bank base rates, QE and superglue.
        He fixed it, though the housing market grinds and squeals a bit
        And there’s a dreadful burning smell from the trade deficit.

        And it goes Boom when it moves and Phut when it stops and Whirr when it stands still.
        I never knew just how it worked and I guess I never will.


    • 117
      Becky says:

      Fer f_cks sake, this is all Excel rimming toss! There is no f_cking growth other than the growth of the f_cking brain dead. Why do you have more people in ‘employment’ but earning less? I’ll tell you why, there are more of the f_ckers but they are doing either the same or less work. Productivity is f_cked, the local dole office here is running ‘workshops’ on how to sell knited toys on eBay. So long as they can shuffle you off one f_cking Whitehall spreadsheet onto another they have been ‘productive’!
      As for that total c_ck faced twat Milliband and this f_ck awful c_nt of a Frenchman just another pair of f_cking rim jockies on the make. Send them down here and I’ll f_cking sort the pair out for you!


    • 123
      The Growler says:

      “Growth has stagnated at zero for a second quarter” OK Geedes but where was the UK 2 years ago, good job the UK was not in the Euro, they would really be in the cesspit. What is the betting in Gideon is still the CoE next June they will start cutting good and proper, with words we have discovered a big hole in the economy, France still has quite a large industrial sector with some very big companies eg EDF and subsidiaries, DeFarge and they have controlling interests on large operators in the UK, which could have an effect on the UK.


    • 133

      Hey less of the mad Frankie its copyright


    • 147
      Violent Asquith says:

      Hollande promised to abandon the “unnecessary” austerity measures of his predecessor Nicholas Sarkozy, and solve the economic problems by “growth”. He lied to win the election. If this were possible, Sarkozy would have done it and remained in office.

      Hollande’s popularity in France is very low and rightly. He gives speeches about the glorious socialist future, upon which he is an expert, but he knows nothing about the untamed present. He is a useless little fucker and it is, therefor, no wonder he appeals to Miliband.

      I live in France with the consequences of his anti-business, La-la Land philosophy.


  2. 2
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    Where’s the economic growth in Spain, Italy and Greece?

    UK needs to focus on exporting to emerging markets, or places with some economic growth.


  3. 3
    Bof says:

    The only things growing in France are the deficit and unemployment. 3.4 million French are unemployed.


    • 8
      The entire French economy is a scam to fleece Europe says:

      They always were. Why do you think they only work about 20 hours a week between meals?


  4. 4
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    Miliband and Balls are about as effective as The Indian batsmen in the current Test Match Series.


  5. 5
    P Mandelson says:

    I am intensely relaxed about the French becoming poor


    • 9
      Witty Moniker says:

      Then we and the Germans can buy the place up cheap … settling some old scores, one might say.


      • 43
        Paa Tition says:

        Is Corsica within rocket range of the mainland.


      • 130
        The Growler says:

        Geedes might go back to France for his jollies and buy little gites forming a company to do so, he used to like to go to France for his jollies in the summer, and of course he would let his window licker fans stay at discount, doesn’t that sound good, good food and drinks, Geedes used to like sitting in the garden slurping wine morning till night. And no BBC except world service I bet it sounds bliss to you lot.


    • 153
      Anonymous says:

      Well hello…………….

      I am intenselly relaxed about being Peter Mandelson.

      Peter Mandelson.


  6. 6
    Witty Moniker says:

    How many times … the Euro is a political project, not an economic one. It will continue until the EU collapses, USSR-style, whatever the cost.

    Liked by 1 person

    • 73

      Not so funny but true. Won’t affect me or my pensions


    • 131
      The Growler says:

      The trouble with the Euro every country was left to individually issue Euros and of course some took advantage, the was in effect no central authority which administered the system, like the Fed in the US, accounts do not seem to have been tended, it sure is a mess, they tried to implement the Euro as quick as they could, it is amazing it hasn’t blown up before now, it took the US many years to create the universal US dollar over all of the US states.


  7. 7
    nermal says:

    It has been reported that Milliband has been seen with a strange women on the back of a scooter.


  8. 10

    Essential stats:

    F’rench GDP ? It’s August. They’re off for the month, non ?

    G’erman GDP – now there’s a real laugh !

    Vote UKIP :-D


    • 22
      carlo gambino says:

      Vote UKIP – remember when the drippy-wippy softy-wofty lefty-wefties thought it was a great idea to Vote Nader :D in the US Presidential election and got 8 years of Dubya for their troubles.

      You sound as though you don’t.


    • 74

      That looks like the Casablanca coastline with the High Atlas in the background.

      Is that a mere coincidence?

      Vote UKIP :-D


      • 76

        No coincidence.

        Look back in history, it’s quite clear.

        Vote UKIP :-D


        • 107

          A number of interesting points here.
          * Firstly, how divergent the views are of Pakistan and Bangladesh
          * Second, those very polarised states where there are almost no “don’t knows”: Germany, France, Israel, Lebanon, Jordan, Greece and Egypt.
          * High Greece favourables due to Orthodox religious views, perhaps.

          Unclear whether ‘Palestine ter’ includes Gaza (imagine not.)

          Highest “don’t knows” mostly in places where educational standards are generally poor (except India)

          In short, it does not reflect Russia in a very good light.

          Did Pugh do one for c2000? Would be interesting to see how perceptions have changed.

          Vote UKIP :-D

          Liked by 1 person

        • 108

          A number of interesting points here.
          * Firstly, how divergent the views are of P’akistan and B’angladesh
          * Second, those very p’olarised states where there are almost no “don’t knows”: Germany, France, !srael, L’ebanon, J’ordan, Greece and E’gypt.
          * High G’reece favourables due to O’rthodox r’eligious views, perhaps.

          Unclear whether ‘Pa!estine ter’ includes Gaza (imagine not.)

          Highest “don’t knows” mostly in places where educational standards are generally poor (except !ndia)

          In short, it does not reflect R’ussia in a very good light.

          Did Pugh do one for c2000? Would be interesting to see how perc’eptions have changed.

          Vote UKIP :-D


          • Not sure about 2000. Might be worth looking.

            Those states with lowest ‘don’t knows’ have generally experienced R’ussia directly. They either did or did not enjoy the experience.

            Some have commented on why G’ermany is ahead of the US for example in marking R’ussia as unfavourable. That is accounted for through history.

            Don’t forget that P’akistan saw R’ussia up close during the Soviet A’fghan conflict. They know what they are really about which differs a bit from !ndia and B’angladesh’s experience.

            Vote UKIP :-D


    • 113
      Winston says:

      More to the point how is Russia covered by the media? How does the media influence opinion? The Euro MSM has been intensely attacking Russia, and particularly Putin, for several years now. Who’s funding your frequent blogging and constant, one way attacks on Russia?


      • 121

        The shooting down of MH17 and R’ussia’s attempted manipulation of the media have lost it a lot of credibility.

        Messing around with the aid stuff is not helping either now.

        Presenting mostly R’ussian media here to demonstrate in an unbiased way what is going on over there. Folk will form their own opinions.

        Vote UKIP :-D


        • 126
          Winston says:

          No, Russia’s attempts to spin are ignored and even facts are twisted to paint Russia as evil. Just look at the childish, puerile attacks on Putin. Surely, the way to engage the largest country in the World is to communicate positively. Nobody has attacked Russia and won in modern history.

          You don’t respond to my questions, you have one comment and you are just a paid troll, out to manipulate opinion. in the words of Jay, ” there’s always some c*nt” with an agenda!


          • R’ussia’s attempts to spin have not been ignored.

            R’ussia has kind of lost the plot right now. The path they are following is of their own free choice and they do not need to do so. The door for diplomacy is still open.

            Vote UKIP :-D


    • 135
      Manon_des_Source says:

      What’s with Jordan and the Germans?


  9. 11
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    You can just see Hollibande round the cabinet table in France saying “Comrades we have achieved 0% growth, break out another bottle of victory plonk and an extra ration of chocolate for all workers”


  10. 12
    Garlic Breath says:

    Votez UKIP, get Edouard Millybande


  11. 13

    Meanwhile back in Blighty….

    From the DT

    Top of the world: Britain winning global growth race

    UK GDP grows faster than previously thought in second quarter of the year, outstripping US, Japan and Europe


    • 31
      pull the other one says:

      Won’t last. Homophobic 90 year old cretins who yearn for the good old days will vote ukip next year and let labour in. Balls must be rubbing his hands so hard that smoke is coming off em.


      • 59
        Ma­­qb­oul says:

        Most crass post of the day. Well done, competition is fierce on this ‘ere blog.

        Vote UKIP :)


        • 67
          pull the other one says:

          You’ll all be dead in ten years.
          Get out of the fucking way and let the young right get a hold.


          • Ma­­qb­oul says:

            You seem to be a fortune teller. Let me know who the winner of the 17:25 @ Newmarket will be this afternoon and I might take you seriously.

            IF Labour get in, and that’s a biggie, then that will be entirely down to Cameron not the millions of UKIP voters, young and old.


      • 116
        The Establishment is infested with Nonces says:

        choosing between tory or labour is like choosing between liver cancer and lung cancer.

        I think I would rather vote for a cure, thanks.

        I am voting UKIP, because that is the only way I can register a vote FOR the things I want implementing.

        I am not going to vote for a continuation of the utter abject and corrupt failure of labour or tory.


    • 52
      China says:

      …erm hmm!


      Selective reporting of the facts.


  12. 14
    Mr Galloway,Guest Moderator says:

    Sorry to anyone trying to call us at the moment – our phones are down. We’re fixing it and should be back up soon! Please bear with us..


  13. 15
    Anonymous says:



  14. 16

    Milliband is horrid and unvotable – hopefully they keep him as leader for a long time!


    • 26
      carlo gambino says:

      Sadly if you’re on the dole, an immigrant, or want your public sector teat to continue providing milk til you die, then you don’t consider REd as unvotable.


  15. 17
    Gordon Brune says:

    0% growth, reminds me of a Gordon Brown triumph


    • 54
      Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

      The names Brown, Gordon Brown double 00%, licence to wreck economies.

      den de de de den den…


  16. 18
    Keitho says:

    Socialist economics never, ever, work.


  17. 20
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    The BRICS leaders should be in talks with Erdogan of Turkey with a view to allowing Turkey to join the BRICS trade/financial and military pact.

    The same goes for Iran and the Commonwealth countries.

    Eventually the whole world should get together and isolate the most dangerous, warmongering rogue state on the planet, The USA.

    After one months grace, to allow all yanks abroad to get their affairs sorted and decide whether to return home or apply for asylum, all trade and travel between the US and the rest of the world should be ended.

    Mexico and Canada should close their borders with the US.

    Send the US to economic Coventry :-)


  18. 21
    ex Tory Voter says:

    And this graph is in confusing 3D because?!?!?


    • 35
      The Space Time Continuum Warp Drive Posse says:

      Guido can’t afford 4D yet


      • 56
        He's like a child says:

        The graph reminds me of anyone who has ever created their first video using Adobe Premier and used every fucking transition available in their work of art.

        Less is more. Well so say Labour anyway.


    • 139
      One, 2, miss a few, 99, 100! says:

      I have to laugh. The fact that they’ve coloured blue 0%, when in actuality zero is nothing, is :)


  19. 23
    David Cameron says:

    I really hate Britain.

    oh shit I didn’t mean to post that.


  20. 25

    IS cadre building is proceeding well…

    Vote UKIP :-D


  21. 30
    Mai No says:

    Again France is the problem. I don’t suppose there is any appetite now though to send a British Expeditionary Force to help the cheese eating surrender monkeys.


  22. 36
    A reasonable man says:

    Britain on course to overtake France and then Germany to be the biggest economy in Europe by 2030.

    Conservatives shut care homes, libraries, swimming pools, day centres and just about anything else.

    Double (lying but predictable) standards?


    • 71
      Ma­­qb­oul says:

      Labour councils are shutting these in order to protect the well paid jobs of middle and upper managers, conveniently blaming the Tories. Standard operating procedure.


  23. 38
    Gordon McFuckwit Bust says:

    Will Balls be doing his flatlining gesture to the French Socialist President …Qui?


  24. 41
    A man on the Rue Du Cirque says:

    It is not only that he is economically incompetent.

    Border controls are a complete and utter shambles and not just at Calais but in Italy.

    The Interior Ministry is in complete crisis with over 50 KGs of cocaine just having gone missing from a supposedly secure police station.

    The trial has not started yet about that Canadian tourist who was invited back to the inside of a Parisian Police Station to see the decor. The only real issue appears to be whether the sexual act which took place within the station was consensual or not.

    And whilst all this is going on Jerome Cahuzac (and his wife) remain at liberty.

    Oh and just to kick the boot into Sarko they are now investigating alleged electoral fraud committed in 2007; if true he should never have been standing for election in 2012.


  25. 45
    Baroness Warsi says:

    I celebrate his bravery and heroic act of Lt Goldin. Hamas terrorist beasts must be completely wiped out of the face of the earth.


  26. 51
    Anonymous says:

    And it’s going to get worse in France – it might be pretty and have nice food and wine, but it’s a terrible place to do business, the young and ambitious are increasingly leaving for the UK, Switzerland and elsewhere.


    • 60
      Patriot says:

      The great thing about the decline of France is that it won’t effect the UK hardly at all. They haven’t any bought British goods on any scale for half a century or more.


    • 149
      Violent Asquith says:

      Yes, London is now the sixth largest French city with its own representative in the French assembly. You are right, the enterprising young have voted with their feet.
      Segolene Royal, Hollande’s cast off, refuses to acknowledge it. “Our young people are wonderful!’, is her La-La response. The tax regime in France, even for one-man businesses, means that they cannot afford to employ youth and have to pay 30 000 € tax up front at the beginning of each year before earning anything. This I know from French here in France, the excuse being that it prevents tax evasion. All idiot Hollande has done to restore prosperity is to increase tax -the socialist remedy.


  27. 57

    Methinks that Chilcot and Jack Straw in particular are feeling a noose tightening.

    Was not D’avid M’iliband also involved with some of the rendition stuff ?

    Vote UKIP :-D


    • 62
      Baroness Scotland says:

      Don’t ask me


      • 68
        Diago Garcia says:

        Jack and David are no longer UK domiciled. They both have a PO address here.


        • 75
          The Indian Ocean Water Board says:

          We do hope they won’t find our high security aquatic nature reserve too wet for them if ever they turn up to read their mail.


        • 90
          Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

          Apparently Hollywood (ISIS branch) are bringing out a film remake “Bring Me The Head of Diago Garcia” :-)


    • 65
      Ma­­qb­oul says:

      What will the ECHR do if Poland refuses?

      Invade Poland?


      • 70

        Punitive fines etc.

        The funny thing is that the ECHR rulings which are specific to member states are soon to be brought over to the ECJ and hence onto the statute books of all member states.

        Now that one member State has been found culpable, the implications for the UK – which acted as a transit point at the least – are quite interesting.

        R’omania may be the next to have a similar finding made against it.

        Vote UKIP :-D


    • 111
      Marek says:

      Dlaczego nie można po prostu umieścić ją tam, gdzie słońce nie świeci!


  28. 66

    Pliz,I am doing mon best to vreck ze EU and pring everyzink in zee beeg sheet. Mon ami Ed wiz zee eyes vill elp feenish off zee UK.

    Pres. Ollande


  29. 77
    Anonymous says:


  30. 79
    Squeaker Bercow says:

    Got myself a crying walking sleeping talking living doll…


  31. 82

    In the interests of balance:

    G’reece ???

    Vote UKIP :-D


  32. 85
    Dangerous Brian says:

    Well done Mr Milliband, 100% so far, never knowingly on the right side of any debate.


    • 99
      Blue Peter Goldfish says:

      Thought the music hall/variety act tradition had died out but still got comedians Miliband & Balls “the cheeky chappies”.


  33. 87
    Le Plonquer says:


  34. 91
    Maimed Codger says:

    Hollibandit strikes again… Communism and fails once more


    • 94
      Cocky Dave says:

      Don’t forget I’ve doubled the U.K. National Debt in just one Parliament. I’m a complete failure also.


  35. 92

    Tosser Dave has missed his Deficit targets as well.

    His 2010 Manifesto promised to eliminate the bulk of the Deficit by 2015.

    The 2014 Year to date Deficit is HIGHER than it was in 2013.



    • 118
      Vlad the Loudhailer says:

      I take it your an innumerate socialist?


      • 137

        These are correct facts Vlad. By the way, it’s unfortunate that you are semi-literate. Try you’re, not your, you stupid ConLibLab sympathiser.


  36. 95
    Millibrain says:

    If granddad had gone just that bit further and gone to France instead of Belgium I would be in ‘Socialist Heaven’.


  37. 96

    Should see some similar patterns begin to emerge across the Eurozone:

    But this is deflationary.

    Vote UKIP :-D


  38. 97
    Anonymous says:

    Dave offfers £ 1 BILLION to Poroshenko the Kiev butcher.


  39. 98
    Owen Jones Restauranteur says:

    Comrades, here is the sample menu.

    The Owen Jones Cafe

    Saddleback sausages and mustard mayonnaise, smoked pollack rarebit, caramelised onion & blue cheese on toast

    Fresh brown crab with winter leaves, fresh baked breads and garlic mayo
    Five-root and bacon soup with cheddar and parsley

    The main event
    Wood-roasted porchetta style pork belly with garlic, rosemary and seasonal vegetables

    Apple-on-the-bottom crème brulee with lemon shortbread

    Coffee & petits

    Please join me and bring loads of money and numerous bottles of Bollinger champagne to quaff. x


  40. 101
    Ziggy says:

    This outcome was inevitable because the majority of politicians are unfit for purpose and would be unable to hold down a position in the real world of work. They are too self and party obsessed to implement the measures needed to effectively manage a dead cat let alone the finances of countries and the EU. When it comes to doing the right thing Homer Simpson tends to exhibit better judgement than the majority of our underperforming “leaders”.


  41. 109
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    Looks like there will be a lot of fires in Ukraine this winter.

    Rapid deforestation in progress :-)


  42. 122
    Flamby says:

    “I will sweat ze aristos; je les fera baiser mon cul – mais, apres toi Ed!”


  43. 124
    Morte cui says:
  44. 132

    What is it with these socialist mongs ,time and again the whole thing is shown up for what it is, yet they still cling to the same old discredited garbage, using the the same old phrases, the same old job titles , chairman of this that and the other ,still call themselves marxists , moaists ,trotskyists ,the same addiction to tax, compulsion , and control , it’s as if the USSR never existed , as if there was never any socialist poverty ,misery or brutal genocide in places like Cambodia, China,and around the world , it is a mental illness one of the symptoms being collective amnesia .


  45. 138
    One, 2, miss a few, 99, 100! says:

    Zero Growth? Isn’t that like saying “I’ve got a flaccid erection”?


  46. 140
    Anonymous says:

    It’s this kind of my manhood is bigger than your manhood that is everything that is wrong with economic analysis. Economic activity is not economic good. Short term spurt is not long term benefit.


  47. 141
    Anonymous says:

    “Hollibande Update: 2nd Quarter of Zero Growth in France”
    But can we really believe the words of any statesperson, about anything?
    For example: the Australian PM Tony Abbot thinks Scottish separatists are “not the friends of justice”. Maybe they should have an injunction issued against them, as per Australians, to prevent such free thinking? Sounds like some hilarious quip of a “see-you Jimmy” standard, more usually associated with Russ.


  48. 142

    You know it is difficult time for France.
    Everything is not simple, any changement population will strike.

    I am French and live in China, and what I know is it is really the contrary here, it is moving, people getting richer and more and more happy.


  49. 143
    Maxist Political economics always fails under UK's Labour Party & US Democrats says:


  50. 150
    Mark Wouters. says:

    Sovietsalami63 Here,
    Having had my benefits stopped yet again (every 6-7 months without fail) I Have no food and have not eate since last Friday evening ,im Left in Debt without a penny ,the Police and dwp seem intent on forcing me to do what they want ,ie their agenda ,which I WILL NOT DO,as theyre all corrupt ,the Police ,Local government ,nhs and the courts and all other government agencies it looks like ill just have to refuse to contract with them all.


  51. 151
    Mr brasso says:

    It’s HOLLIPEDE you fools!!


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