August 15th, 2014

Friday Caption Contest (Don’t Mention the Wharton Edition)


163 Comments

  1. 1
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    Ready Aim Fire!

    Like

  2. 2
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    I neither smoke or inhale.

    Like

  3. 3
    Owen Jones says:

    I just lurrrrv a man with a hard helmet! And two is even better!

    Like

  4. 4
    Tango with no cash says:

    World on fire, but in the mean time British MPs go on holiday.

    Like

  5. 6

    “Is it supposed to be doing that?”
    “No, just keep smiling, no one will know”

    Like

  6. 7
    Michael Fish says:

    A normal sky in Teeside today…

    Like

  7. 8
    Ghost of Mossad says:

    Remember, Remember the 5th of November.

    Should the scruff be on top of the fire ?

    Like

  8. 9
    Tango with no cash says:

    The guys who just shot down a plane, stop to get a congratulatory picture before they, claim they were elsewhere.

    Like

  9. 10
    ? says:

    Move along nothing to see here

    Like

  10. 11
    World Wide Webb says:

    Have Dave and Boris played that tennis match they pimped themselves out for yet? Their isn’t much they wouldn’t sell is there? The Prime Minister and Mayor of London whored out to anyone who can afford it, they’re an embarrassment

    Like

  11. 12
    Tango with no cash says:

    Fracking goes wrong when the engineers find out they have drilled through the military fuel pipeline.

    Like

  12. 13
    Mrs Merton says:

    Now…what was it Mr Wharton that first attracted you to become a Conservative Friend of I’srael at the age of 26?

    Like

  13. 14
    Fanny Craddock says:

    Yes dear, you can roast your hi-vis jacket potato for an hour before giving it a good stuffing.

    Like

  14. 18
    Baroness Ashton says:

    So when launching the BUK just press the trigger gently.

    Like

  15. 19
    Tango with no cash says:

    Fire on strike yet again, pissing on it hasn’t helped, it started out as a chip pan fire.

    Like

  16. 20
    everard says:

    Slide down my pole and I’ll put any fire out.

    Like

  17. 21
  18. 22
    Bill Quango MP says:

    George Galloway begins book burning of JE WI SH works.

    Like

  19. 23
    Millions of Mr & Mrs Joe Public are all Voting for UKIP says:

    Remember Thursday 7 May 2015 this will be happening

    across the country with funeral pyres for the

    ConsLieLaborLebDims anti-democracy Evil alliance …….

    VOTING for UKIP & it will happen

    Like

  20. 24
    Brian J. says:

    “It was like that when we inherited it from Labour, we swear!”

    Like

  21. 26
    Trinny says:

    This year’s must-have look is “coalition”, Tory blue hard hat with lib dem yellow vest. Smokin’!

    Like

  22. 27
    Tony E says:

    And behind me here we see a demonstration of the economy at the end of a Labour term – it’s now in the second phase : Burn. Crash, as we saw,came slightly earlier.

    Like

  23. 28
    Tango with no cash says:

    Mp to test out new way the public want them to retire after voting them out of office, it seems it’s a cheaper way after all they will receive no pension, but just look at the Viking type funeral they will receive.

    Like

  24. 29
    FBU rep says:

    Putting out fires is only a very small part of the job the men mostly spend their time fucking around playing pranks on each other or are asleep in bed.
    let me show you the fire station or funhouse as we call it.

    Like

  25. 31
    Ooh, i get it says:

    Fire, fire, pants on liar.

    Like

  26. 33
    MKC says:

    “Tory MP ignores Baroness Warsi’s latest, and most probably last, Gaza protest.”

    Like

  27. 34
    Anonymous says:

    It is important to coordinate ones hi-viz so that the fire does not feel isolated on being the only orange entity at the event.

    Like

  28. 35
    Bill Quango MP says:

    He’s a fire starter.
    A twisted fire starter.

    Like

  29. 37

    Not a caption compo entry. Just info

    The Sarajevo moment looks to have arrived. Reds invading Ukraine right now.
    Better ring the church bells and mobilise the reserve.

    Like

    • 69
      If the EU is as cowardly as it is thick we will not have war says:

      If the EU and NATO have any sense they will abandon the Ukrainians to their fate and vow never to poke the Russian bear with a stick ever again.
      You would have thought they would have learned their lesson the first time after leading Georgia up to the alter then doing a runner when the bear turned up.

      Liked by 1 person

    • 72
      V V Putin says:

      This is our last territorial demand in Europe! One people! One Russia! One leader!

      Like

    • 77
      Tango with no cash says:

      Nothing to do with Britain, the EU lit the flames, France and Germany and Poland better do the mobilising.

      Like

      • 86
        Anon says:

        Correct. The Ukraine is not a member of NATO, nor is it a member of the EU. It’s a shithole which Britiain has no vital national interest in. None of our business. Let the Poles and Germans sort it out.

        Like

        • 128
          Tango with no cash says:

          Beside if they need any mobilising from Britain, we have 640 MPs also those lunes in the HOL, the uncivil service, all the EU philes, all the illegal immigrants and the ones trying to get into the UK, all those shemales who want women to have equality, even though women have always ruled the roost and men have always opened doors for the women ,Cameron and his cabinet and all the LibLabCon MEPs, so we can send plenty of cannon fodder, before we send our military, see Camoron you didn’t want an EU referendum, now you have a chance to shine by buggering off and fighting for the EU, training to use g un s will be given as well as a body bag.

          Like

  30. 38
    BBC 24hr rolling bollocks says:

    This is the arrivals area for passengers from west Africa.

    Like

  31. 39

    First the weather, now this: the barbecue wasn’t going well.

    Like

  32. 40
    Anonymous says:

    gay Conservative Friend of Israel in Hamas rocket near miss

    Like

  33. 41
    Joe says:

    There are 10 alleged paedos on that fire. Who needs a trial?

    Like

  34. 42
    Anonymous says:

    Teeside’s claim to own world’s largest Chinese lantern ends in tragedy

    Like

  35. 44
    Tango with no cash says:

    Guys told that insurance won’t pay out as they only had third party/fire and theft.

    Like

  36. 47
    Ed Milibander says:

    Chr*st! that was one fuc*ing hot curry I had last night!

    Like

  37. 48

    Darn it! Just when I’d accidentally deleted every soft copy of my Report!

    Like

  38. 49
    Brian J. says:

    You can collect what’s left of your majority of 332 in just a mo’.

    Like

  39. 50
    White Man says:

    God, this Fracking lark is a pain in the arse!

    Like

  40. 51
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    Like

  41. 52
    Tango with no cash says:

    Using to much fuel on lighting a barbecue doesn’t help when you do it close to a wooden shed.

    Like

  42. 53
    Anonymous says:

    So here we are on the 8th May 2015, the remnants of the labour party election campaign burning brightly in the background

    Like

  43. 56
    Al Zeimer says:

    Hell and Safety Inspectors check that Tony Blair’s very own personal pit of Hades is up to temperature….

    Like

  44. 57
    Cynic says:

    A British summer on Teeside

    Like

  45. 58
    Michael Caine says:

    You were only meant to blow the bloody doors off

    Like

  46. 59
    Anonymous says:

    The man in the yellow hard hat spontaneously combusted at the thought of having to go into coalition again in 2015

    Like

  47. 60
    Munsterbarry says:

    Shock as MP strikes deal with Lucifer!

    Like

  48. 61
    Steve Miliband says:

    Never a good idea to light your farts

    Like

  49. 62
    Anonymous says:

    Photobombing taken too literally

    Like

  50. 63
    Chip O'Larter says:

    The parliamentary Friends of Israel group hold a BBQ in Smith Square

    Like

  51. 64
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    Two morons in hard hats and viz jackets accidentally destroy a parked easyjet plane.

    Like

  52. 65
    Bill Quango MP says:

    The Towering Infernal

    Like

  53. 66
    Cynic says:

    English MP demonstrates the impact of Scottish Barnett Formula on his constituents incomes

    Like

  54. 67
    Bill Quango MP says:

    Latest Home Office suggestion for dealing with Anjem Choudary meets with approval.

    Like

  55. 68
    Poet's day says:

    Teesside signs twinning deal with Gaza…

    Liked by 1 person

  56. 70
    Tango with no cash says:

    English, Chinese chippy owner is a little peeved when he finds he’s cooked the crispy duck at bit too crispy.

    Like

  57. 71
    Labour Friends of Palestine's Official Photographer says:

    BACK A BIT….BACK A BIT…BACK A BIT MORE!

    Like

  58. 74
    Sir Walter Tyrell says:

    So, we can save £30 billion by scrapping Trident and buying some of these cheap Chinese nukes instead.

    Like

  59. 75
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    Residents of Teesside warned to stay indoors and close all windows until toxic cloud dissipates.

    Like

  60. 76
    Bill Quango MP says:

    Transcript from the Brown bunker – April 2010

    Great Helmsman Gordon:

    “Burn it. Burn it all!
    these pepper socialists have failed me! this country is not worthy to be led by me!

    Burn it .burn the country down.. let the Tories inherit only ashes.”

    Like

  61. 78
    Gok Wan says:

    Hi-viz jackets don’t go with suits

    Like

  62. 81
    Micheal Brown, Ferguson, Missouri says:

    Get dowwwwwn murrrfurrr!

    Like

  63. 82
    BP says:

    I see that the test frack has worked out as well as we’d hoped.

    Like

  64. 83
    geordieboy says:

    The fire was lit to burn Ed’s policies then they discovered that he didn’t have any.

    Like

  65. 84
    Anonymous says:

    Strict observance of both hard hat and Hi-Viz regulations ensured nothing could go wrong.

    Like

  66. 85
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    http://rt.com/news/180512-ukrainian-mp-firewood-coal/

    Looks like there will be a lot of fires in Ukraine this winter.

    Rapid deforestation in progress :-)

    Like

  67. 87
    Braveheart says:

    James Wharton poses in front of his new Jag in Middlesbrough.

    Like

  68. 92
    PaulJB says:

    Global warming, blow it out my arse.

    Like

  69. 93

    Left unattended, John Prescott would burn for over three weeks.

    Probably.

    Like

    • 102
      Al Gore says:

      But the carbon release would never be allowed– “Warmageddon” really WOULD take place, no joking this time!

      Like

  70. 94
    Satan says:

    Next!

    Like

  71. 95
    witreport says:

    “So, with just a friend, some gelignite and a washing up bottle, you too can make a suicide bomber – that’s all from Blue Peter this week. Goodbye.”

    Like

  72. 97
    Normal Guy says:

    I have no idea who this person is. Is he famous?

    Like

  73. 99
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    First test run of using copies of the EU’s directives to solve Britain’s energy problems goes well.

    Like

  74. 100
    Maimed Codger says:

    Who said E-Cigarettes aren’t dangerous ??

    Like

  75. 101
    nigel idol says:

    WELL THATS THE MANIFESTO SORTED !

    Like

  76. 103

    Caroline Lucas self-immolates.

    Like

  77. 104
    nigels idol says:

    I told you not to have that curry last night !

    Like

  78. 105
    The Bottom of the Barrel says:

    When the barrel is empty, stop scraping.

    Like

  79. 107
    A Twat says:

    Vote for me.

    Like

  80. 108
    James Wharton MP says:

    “Yes, I know, this DOES look like a shot from a cheesy action flick just before the credits roll, doesn’t it?”

    Like

  81. 109
    Anonymous says:

    YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE my PMB was on fire

    Like

  82. 111
    Cliff says:

    Is it me, or is it hot in here?

    Like

  83. 112
    Brother York says:

    James Wharton he’s an MP with altitude and someone who likes to make friends in high places.

    Like

  84. 113

    Shit. That was one fucking cross Buddhist Monk.

    Like

  85. 114
    Cliff Young One says:

    Where there’s smoke there’s fire.

    Like

  86. 117
    Weybridgeman says:

    Hey Ed, this is my life sized re-enactment of your election chances!

    Like

  87. 118
    JR says:

    Fire training centres have been hit hardest by this coalition government.

    Like

  88. 119
    A nonny mous says:

    Red sky at night… Teessides alight !

    Like

  89. 120
    Oh, really? says:

    “Don’t you think we should have let the two Eds out before we set fire to the shed?”

    Like

  90. 121
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    Hamas rocket lands safely at Teesside airport.

    Like

  91. 122
    TV Official (Name Withheld to Spare Embarrassment) says:

    “We officially announce today that we are presenting a new domestic UK version of MythBusters, and like all local versions of US shows, we will strive mightily to achieve the pinnacle of adequacy in comparison to the original!”

    Like

  92. 123
    Chaz says:

    James giggled while (the Treaty of) Rome burned…

    Like

  93. 124
    Thats the lesst of your problems says:

    Welcome to Teeside
    Vote IsIs

    Like

  94. 125
    M says:

    You’re only supposed to blow the bloody doors off

    Like

  95. 126
    God says:

    Shit, I missed.

    Like

  96. 127
    SocialDemocrat says:

    Just tossing all my pro-EU paraphernalia on the fire-Dave has changed his mind again and says we have to be anti-EU now!

    Like

  97. 130
    Humpy Apple says:

    Quiet satisfaction as Rome burns.

    Like

  98. 131
    Tango with no cash says:

    Good job you didn’t add that bit of baking powder.

    Like

  99. 132
    Tango with no cash says:

    I told you to fire him, not set him on fire.

    Like

  100. 133
    Just waiting for a mate says:

    Tory MP (Friend of Osborne) burns Boris effigy alongside downmarket Frankie Boyle lookalike.

    Like

  101. 136
  102. 137
    Bag-carrier says:

    “Dear incoming Labour MP, I’m afraid to tell you there’s no constituency left.”

    Like

  103. 138
    HD says:

    Tory party looks on as Labour launch new economic plan

    Like

  104. 139
    I Roger Boys MP says:

    Date line May 2015

    And in the background can be seen Dippy Daves election victory campaign

    Like

  105. 140
    expat says:

    You’re never alone with a Strand.

    Like

  106. 141
    Cynic says:

    Fire Service show off facilities once opened by Gordon Brown

    Like

  107. 142
    Anonymous says:

    “Are you sure the lads will be coming back?”

    Like

  108. 143
    James "I'm a Eurosceptic" Wharton says:

    I’m posing in front of my Stockton South re-election prospects.

    Like

  109. 144
    Two bit right wing blog fan says:

    Warsi fire?

    Like

  110. 145
    Ah, those cast-iron pledges! says:

    Wharton: “Bloody hell. I’m only a proby.

    “Yet I had to show Cameron in parliament how to actually do something about the EU, rather than pretend. And now I have to remind him about that promise on quangos.”

    Like

  111. 146
    Owhine Jones says:

    ‘What do you mean Harriet Harman is rising?’

    Like

  112. 147
    Cliff Richard says:

    There’s no smoke without fire

    Like

  113. 148
    Pans Peep Hole says:

    We’re rebranding fracking as a portal to hell
    .

    Like

  114. 149
    David says:

    European bombshell!

    Like

  115. 150
    Jimmy says:

    Nasty Party finds safe storage area for members’ pants.

    Like

  116. 152

    MP finds perfect excuse for losing all his expenses records.

    Like

  117. 153
    Mercian says:

    I thought you said it was ok to throw my fag-end over there.

    Like

  118. 156
    Another coalition promise met says:

    James Wharton with a large crowd of onlookers at The Bonfire of the Quangos.

    Like

  119. 157
    Tweet Junkie says:

    ‘Doing my bit to improve the environment in Teesside’ JW

    Like

  120. 158
    Conservative Election Publicity Department says:

    James Wharton poses with his agent on the main runway at Teesside Airport after completing a sponsored litter pick for charity.

    Like

  121. 159
    Anonymous says:

    “Friday Caption Contest (Don’t Mention the Wharton Edition)”
    The deal with Bernie, for F1 flameproof underpants, was the real winner.

    Like

  122. 160
    RWG says:

    “So, that’s a scale model of the Ukraine, then?”

    Like

  123. 161
    Anonymous says:

    Remember children – if ISIS ever invade the UK this could be what happens to your local Petrol Station.
    l

    D. Cameron.

    Like

  124. 162
    Anonymous says:

    If you vote for UKIP chip pan fires will increase.

    Think fire. Think chips. Think UKIP!

    Aimed at the Northern voters obviously.

    Like

  125. 163
    BlahBlahBlah says:

    No no no… I said get ‘WATER’

    Like


Seen Elsewhere

UKIP Mosque Confusion | The Week
Let’s Ban the Word Internet | Padraig Reidy
Are the Broadcasters Ready For the Election? | Specccie
Moral Bankruptcy of the BBC | David Keighley
UKIP’s ‘Starsky and Hutch’ | Total Politics
Innocent Sun Journo Just Doing Her Job | Sun
Boris Sent Up North | Times
The Only Way to Mend the EU | Leo McKinstry
Northern Labour Tearing Party Apart | David Aaronovitch
Osborne is Son of Brown | Peter Oborne
Uber Needs to Mind Its Manners | CapX


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Tony Blair threatens Ed:

“If you had a strong political lead that was combining the politics of aspiration with the politics of compassion, I still think that’s where you could get a substantial majority…  If I ever do an interview on [the state of the Labour Party], it will have to be at length…”



Left on Left says:

The lefties are attacking because the panellist is a millionaire and lives in a London home worth upwards of two million. Someone had best tell them he’s called Ed Miliband.


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