August 14th, 2014

Baker Junks Junkie Junket

Someone at the Home Office must have been having a laugh at Norman Baker’s expense when they organised for him to go to the V-Festival this weekend to “up the profile” of legal highs. Baker today announced that he is lobbying Jeremy Hunt to consider legalising pot for medicinal purposes, but the party-loving LibDem won’t be getting off his face on Benzo Fury or Black Mamba at the taxpayer’s expense somewhere in a field in Chelmsford. Baker tells Guido:

“It was suggested to me by officials that it might send a good message both to festival organisers and those who attend if I could up the profile of these untested highs, which are dangerous for young people. As it happens, I will be in France on holiday with my wife so no, I won’t be attending.”

Guido has every sympathy…


  1. 1
    The two Muppets says:

    Norman Baker Is way over promoted , He has some way out views
    on drugs and aliens . I think maybe just a token Libdem .

  2. 2
    Grape lover says:

    Leave the drugs alone and stick to a decent Bordeaux, or at a push try the Sancerre. Happy, happy holiday

  3. 3
    Sarah Millington says:

    How many tin foil hats has Norman Baker purchased on expenses?

    We need to know.

  4. 4
    the tailor of Wakefield says:

    is that a photo of one of those Japanese dutch wives ?

  5. 5
    Centre Parting says:

    ‘Untested thighs’ – must be a job for Handycock surely?

  6. 6

    So Baker won’t be Baked on his Junked Junkie Junker ?

    Meanwhile, propaganda victory for IS in !ndonesia:

    The chaps caught with the flag were released as holding the symbol itself is not illegal. They have not sworn allegiance to K’hilafah I’slamiah, an IS wing – doing so could prompt forfeiture of their citizenship. They consider the symbols to be one of tauhid [expression of God’s oneness], not of a terrorist organization.

    It is notable that the flags were being transported to / from a prison.

    Vote UKIP :-D

  7. 7
    BBC not reporting this says:

    The type of people that the BBC said didnt attend the pro-pali march .

  8. 8
    the tailor of Wakefield says:

    I hope they don’t put these flags in with the regular wash

  9. 9
    One of a few good men at Westminster. says:

    Norman’s a good bloke. we could do with more like him in politics rather than the pps automatons.

  10. 10
    Uncle Same says:

    The first nutjob to write “shlomo” gets a pint of stella, some pork scratchings and an orange jumpsuit.

  11. 11
    Norman Baker says:

    If they think I am promoting the V Festival they have another thing coming. Have you seen how they eat mice on the series?

  12. 12
    Beat Abdul to it (again) says:

    Hello Shlomo

  13. 13
    T May says:

    Yankee, go home

  14. 14
    Mark Twain says:

    Never pick a fight with politicians who buy tinfoil by the mile.

  15. 15
  16. 16
    Faria Alam says:

    That I’sraeli flag must have been flameproof!

  17. 17
    Ex resident of Gitmo says:

    I did that and it turned my orange jumpsuit a funny green colour.

    How I laughed and laughed on the way to the beheadings.

  18. 18
    A Carrier Pigeon says:

    Eurozone GDP: German economy contracts, and France stagnates.
    Whilst the UK Forges ahead????

    Good for the UK we buy more from Europe than we sell into Europe otherwise George would have another excuse for his failures.

    But wait! What is this News?
    London housing boom shows signs of cooling as sales stumble
    Transactions and inquiries in London fall at fastest rate for years, following efforts to take heat out of the property market

    We can’t even blame this on raising the Bank Rate. Not that raising rates affects the Chinese Cash Buyers invited here on Dave’s Giveaway a Visa offer.
    The £ too is falling steadily. The UK Contrived Boom is starting to unpick. Watch carefully

  19. 19
    David Cameron says:

    We are still searching for those 40,000 Yazidis to repatriate them to the UK…as I write !

  20. 20
    Presidente Hollande says:

    Dave, please send more Money.


  21. 21
    P l e b says:

    Our Chancellor had the foresight to go along with the financial genius who invented ‘quantitative easing’ and a very large pot of £375,000,000,000 of invented new cash to oil the wheels of industry, or rather the banks’ balance sheets. So now soaraway Britain is reaping the benefit of ever-increasing mortgage lending on ever increasing property prices, and new car and general consumerist loans. All this is quite amazing, really, as our trade gap grows, our exports stutter, and manufacturing stalls. Added to which our national debt is something like £1,500,000,000,000, and overall personal debt per household averages over £55,000, while individual income falls. The current budget deficit should be now around £65,000,000,000, but, I believe, it’s more like £95,000,000,000. But that magic (if slightly unreal) figure of 3.5 GDP will be hammered home by Dave, George and, of course, Lynton, until next June

  22. 22
    The DT says:

    David Miliband not only lost out in the Labour leadership contest against his brother – he was also second best with his A-level results. The D was in physics, which he later described as “interminably difficult”.

    Ed Miliband got two As and two Bs, while David Cameron achieved 3 As in history, history of art and economics with politics. Boris Johnson was the only one out of the four not to read Philosophy, Politics and Economics (PPE) at Oxford, preferring to study classics.

  23. 23

    Gobble, gobble, gobble, swallow.

  24. 24
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    Someone really hated living in Berkhampsted.

  25. 25
    David Cameron also says:

    My values are J e w i s h values

  26. 26
    Gordon Brown says:

    I saved the world.

  27. 27
  28. 28

    Get them while you can:

    Vote UKIP :-D

  29. 29
    sally bercow says:

    tell me more about this black mamba …

  30. 30
    Tachybaptus says:

    Not at all. The fault lies in those whose dreary one-track minds cause them to see a phallic symbol in just about everything from bananas to Berkhamsted. Some things are long and thin. Get over it.

  31. 31
    A Ship's lawyer says:

    I trust the Police will ensure there are no illegal substances in the fields of Essex this weekend.

  32. 32
    To easy says:

    What a knobhead

  33. 33
    Gay Chap says:

    We know you are sweetie.

  34. 34
    Guy News Room says:

    Heavy shelling is heard in rebel-held Ukrainian city of Donetsk as Owen Jones & Mehdi Hasan approache the Ukrainian border.

  35. 35
    The Local Filth says:


  36. 36
    The Lone Ranger says:

    Isn’t he the guy who wrote an idiotic book on the death of DOCT*R K*LLY, thereby helping B£iar to wash the blood off his hands.

  37. 37
    J Dromey (Mrs) says:

    Yes do

  38. 38
    The Ukrainians are revolting says:

    Meanwhile in Ukraine someone is getting a good kicking near to Donetsk.

    The only thing is we don’t know who.

  39. 39
    M­a­­q­b­o­­ul says:

    You’re full of shit. You have no idea what’s going to happen next to the economy. If you did have such abilities you’d be a billionaire sitting in a yacht in the Bahamas getting your butler to post for you.

    What we are witnessing is the inevitable collapse of the Euro as predicted by Maggie all of those years ago.

  40. 40
    M­a­­q­b­o­­ul says:

    With a ballsack and a urinary tract?

  41. 41
    Ed Milibandwagon says:

    In case you haven’t been following the financial data oil fallen still further, to $103.

    And as gas is pegged to oil if I had been PM and done you all that guaranteed energy price freeze wheeze, fixed at 2014 January prices, you’d all be paying more.

    Vote Labour.

  42. 42
    M­a­­q­b­o­­ul says:

    The Red Cross are shelling the illegal aid convoy.

  43. 43
    sigmund freud says:

    Sometimes even a cigar, is just a cigar.

  44. 44
    Paniagua says:

    That could be David Blanchflower that posted that. Now he does know what he is talking about.


  45. 45
    president Junkers 87 says:

    The UN are dive bombing the Red Cross for shelling the illegal aid convoy.

  46. 46
    Paniagua says:


  47. 47
    The Loonies and Fruitcakes are in charge now says:

    If there is any more of this nonsense then Moscow will be alight tonight.

  48. 48
    George Gallowglass says:

    mine are whatever the dicators pay me to say they are.

    And you’ll never trace those bank accounts..Haha! Because its all done in cash.. hahahah!

  49. 49
    Werrity and Fox Consultants says:

    Have the Red Cross got something to do with the Red Army ?

  50. 50
    Top trolling by the bomb the fuck out of them lobby! says:

  51. 51
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    Anjem Choudary to carry out jihad. Sorry that should read Anjem Choudary is a coward that leads from the rear.

  52. 52

    Reuters: Red Cross states shelling of illegal aid convoy will continue until such time as sticking plasters and bottles of TCP are back on the table

  53. 53
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    Not a single picture of a dead Hamas fighter. Now that is strange.

  54. 54
    Rolf Harris says:

    2 little boys…………….. Just beat the shit out of me.

  55. 55

    They’re not red but believe me they’re cross

  56. 56

    If this is accurate:

    The ‘babies’ in question are artillery, not tanks, btw.

    Vote UKIP :-D

  57. 57
    Finbarr Saunders says:

    Must be plenty of dog walkers in Herts, or people taking a cruise.

  58. 58
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    Ed Miliband is full of gas. Notice how he has never told us the price we should be paying for domestic gas and electricity. Any fool can say what Miliband says, and he regularly does.

  59. 59

    Can you see the real me, Doctor? DOCTOR?!

  60. 60
    Lost in the Daily Telegraph says:

    Have you heard the A Level results this year are not so good.

  61. 61
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    Hamas tunnels found near Donetsk.

  62. 62
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    You must be the Dim Ball Wizard.

  63. 63

    Won’t someone think of the children???

  64. 64

    The speech today so far…

    P’utin also reaffirmed that he wishes ‘Peaceful F’oreign P’olicy’

    P’utin also stated:

    “No annexation of the Cr!mea was not. Yeah, we used its armed forces, but in order to hold a referendum”

    An earlier speaker (Zhirinovsky) did state that R’ussia needed a new Minister for Propaganda among other things…

    Vote UKIP :-D

  65. 65
    Long John Silver' s parrot says:

    This sounds like a job for John Simpson .

  66. 66
    Anonymous says:

    here is a big fucking clue for you ministry of defence cnuts…

    don’t put implants in people without their consent


    make sure the signal coming to and from said implant is encrypted

    oh and

    don’t try to enforce the notion via the medium of audio harassment interfacing with said implant of your views and wishes as it winds the implantee up and merely strengthens their resolve to fuck you over

    obviously your field operatives are too pussy to tell you this or they have been telling you this but you are too fucking stupid to realize you have completely and utterly fucked up and that no amount of trying to blame the implantee is going to work because the implant was put in them without their consent or indeed knowledge.

    do you stupid fucking cnuts get that yet? or do i have to put my name and address and the name of that old landlord of mine on the internet?

    fuck you scum for eternity. eye curse you for three generations.

  67. 67
    Rolf says:

    I found a tunnel in Donestsk.
    Unfortunately it was Janine Donetsk, a 13-year-old from Wurrawong Springs, New South Wales

  68. 68
    Cpl David Cameroon (5th Armchair Division) says:

    You are Jason Bourne and I claim some benefits.

  69. 69
    David Cameroon Pointer of dead fish says:

    Shit! where did I leave em this time?

  70. 70
    Normal Person says:

    Can we have that again in English, please?

  71. 71
    Who put in Putin? says:

    I’ve always wondered what they talk about in their cups. :)

  72. 72
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    Eye cursed with three films.

  73. 73
    David Cameron says:

    Great news. Our forces are back in Iraq.

  74. 74
    Jason Bourne says:

    do you know who I am ?

  75. 75

    For some perspective.

    1 Ruble ~= $0.028

    20 Trillion Rubles ~= $555 Billion

    Vote UKIP :-D

  76. 76
    Happy Days says:

    Police reinforcements are to be sent to Calais after 16 people were injured in a pitched battle between Eritrean and Sudanese migrants seeking to reach the UK.

  77. 77
    Do tell, Dave. says:

    Because Islam is a religion of peace and tolerance?

  78. 78
    Anonymous says:
  79. 79
    Ah! wonder says:

    Where do you get white sheets and red paint from on top of a barren mountain?

  80. 80
    Anonymous says:


  81. 81
    Adolf Putin says:

    They’re used to fire.. uhmm.. medical supplies.. to needy Russian-speaking minorirty who are oppressed by Western devils.

    Not weaponry.

    And MH17 was shot down by flying saucers and anyway everyone on board had been dead for many weeks beforehand. It all American plot.

  82. 82
    Remanded in custardy says:

    fat boy bullingdon is just so f#cking desperate to get into some gun-play, it’s almost laughable. crosby has pointed out to the useless, idle shitsack that it’s his only chance of saving his worthless, toff hide come the next election, and he’s going to deploy each and every one of his 3rd rate PR skills to make it happen

  83. 83
    Ah! says:

    nearly as many monikers as you have

  84. 84
    Spieberg ruins every film he directs says:

    Private Ryan?

  85. 85
    My values are their values says:

  86. 86
    Pretty good English, too. says:


  87. 87


    Gallery is well worth looking through.

    Not sure the kid with the MANPAD would be able to handle the recoil. Chap pointing the automatic weapon at fellow attendee’s is definitely not cool.

    UK is not present at this event.

    Vote UKIP :-D

  88. 88
    Mabel Thorpe says:

    Amazon drones?

  89. 89
    Anonymous says:

    #Meanwhile #WarCrimes

    Kiev still shelling and murdering civilians.

  90. 90
    Ed Milibandwagon says:

    The cost of {xxxxx} crisis is out of control.
    Vote labour

  91. 91
    Do tell, Dave. says:

    This is why I won’t be voting Conservative again.

  92. 92
    the tailor of Wakefield says:

    get your tits out for Putin

  93. 93
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    Another Trojan Horse (cunning).

  94. 94
    #Meanwhile #Morewarcrimes says:

    Anyone in Russia been arrested for killing 298 people on MH17 yet?

  95. 95
    Sir Cliff Richard says:

    Hey kids…would you like to come for a ride on my……..magic holiday bus ?

  96. 96
    Harris Saville says:

    Nightmare on Elm (House) St.

    Tin Foil Hat Wearers head to Wm Hill to cash in bets.

  97. 97
    Pope Francis says:

    “I wish to see North and South Korea united in a common aim of peace and understanding”.

    Kim Jong Loon: “I want to see every Mother-fucker western Country wasted in a nuclear holocaust. Eat this Mother fuckers!”

  98. 98
    the tailor of Wakefield says:

    I absolutely agree, I wanted to make Jaws and I would have done it from the viewpoint of the fish.

  99. 99

    Police search Berkshire property belonging to Sir Cliff Richard in relation to alleged historical sex offence.

  100. 100
    M­a­­q­b­o­­ul says:

    If someone is shelling little pussy cats it can only be the beastly Israelis.

  101. 101
  102. 102
    Is it me? says:

    Pair if right tits ! And left ones too!

  103. 103
    yeah right says:

    IBTimes: Major news organisations including the BBC, the New York Times and al-Jazeera have admitted that the statistics used to portray the number of deaths in Gaza during the ongoing conflict may not be accurate.

    “The Times analysis, looking at 1,431 names, show that the population most likely to be militants, men aged 20-29, is also the most overrepresented in the death toll.”
    “when militants are brought to hospitals, they are brought in civilian clothing, obscuring terrorist affiliations.”

    Statistics proves there wasn’t indiscriminate fire.

  104. 104
    the tailor of Wakefield says:

    emotionally disturbed child throws missiles out of pram

  105. 105
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    “We want more Muslim soldiers”, err, no Dave (Doh!).

  106. 106
    Err??? says:

    fake daily mail site – don’t click

  107. 107
    Anonymous says:

    Gone quiet about that hasn’t it? If there was proof it would be shown worldwide, unless that proof was um,you know,akward.

  108. 108
    Ah! well says:

    He’s that old, it’s probable that he fiddled with Bruce when he was a child.

  109. 109
    Lucian and Clement say says:

    Nothing weird about the Freud clan.

  110. 110
    M­a­­q­b­o­­ul says:

    You mean the results should be posted on Twitter, you mug?

  111. 111
    The Sun says:


  112. 112
    Anonymous says:

    It’s taking a long time.You are not curious why? More fool you.

  113. 113
    bigmax says:

    If you know how a man can bleed to death without any blood being at the scene, if the body wasn’t moved after death, please can you tell me here?

  114. 114
    The Growler says:

    “Guido has every sympathy…” I thought you would Fawkesy, marevlous what you can get on private medicine eh?

  115. 115
    The Growler says:

    Oooo, they look more like a more colourful version of Fawkes and Co

  116. 116
    Jim says:

    Lazy gits couldn’t even be bothered to remove the spare tyre before the respray.
    Bad job, bet they didn’t even rub it down first.

  117. 117
    Turn a Tina says:

    “…if I could up the profile of these untested highs, which are dangerous for young people.” if they are untested, how does he know they are dangerous?

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