August 12th, 2014

The Expenses Claims Parliament Doesn’t Want You to See

Flamboyantly-named IPSA chief Marcial Boo is plotting to shroud MPs’ expenses claims in secrecy once again. Boo has told John Bercow that politicians’ claims for small stationery items should be kept hidden from the public because the delicate flowers are facing ridicule in the press. In the interests of openness, accountability and transparency – principles IPSA clearly have no interest in – Guido is publishing some recent claims that they want to keep secret:

  • David Cameron – bulldog clip, 7p
  • Austin Mitchell – pencil sharpener, 2p
  • Cheryl Gillan – calender, 4p
  • Jeremy Hunt – paper clips, 5p
  • Emma Lewell Buck – pencil sharpener, 5p
  • Liz Kendall – pencil sharpener, 7p
  • Harriet Harman – drawing pins, 10p
  • Ken Clarke – ruler, 11p
  • Andrew Mitchell – Tipp-ex, 13p
  • Sarah Teather – staples, 17p
  • Chi Onwurah – mouse mat, 18p
  • Alan Johnson – fold back clips, 34p
  • Vince Cable – scissors, 43p
  • Nadhim Zahawi – hole punch, 53p
  • Alistair Darling – glue stick, 64p
  • Vera Baird – dustpan, 69p
  • Gordon Browncalculator, £1

It goes without saying IPSA should be acting in the interests of the taxpayer and not simply sparing MPs’ blushes, but there is also a wider point here. Jim Devine submitted false invoices for printing costs, an expenses claim he was eventually jailed for. Keeping this seemingly trivial claim secret might have meant he got away with it. That alone shows why every expenses claim, however small, must face the disinfecting glare of sunlight…


186 Comments

  1. 1
    Ghost of Mossad says:

    Crooks.

  2. 2
    Anonymous says:

    I wish I knew where to buy this stuff at those prices. Ah, dont tell me, they’re subsidised by us?

  3. 3
    Itchy Scrote says:

    WTF? Three prices for a pencil sharpener, all of which are less than a tenth the price in the high street.

    Something doesn’t add up (apart from Gordon).

  4. 4

    However, if these were part of a bigger order for office essentials, why are you highlighting individual claims that may be part of a bigger order?

    I think you need to put this into context if you want to make your point valid.

  5. 5
    Pete Fincham says:

    Good you Guido, we should know every item going.

    “Vince Cable – scissors, 43p” is this to make public sector cuts?

  6. 6
    Whippersnapper2 says:

    Who spelled stationery like that YOU or the Daily Fail?
    Go stand in the corner with dunce’s cap.

  7. 7
    Anonymous says:

    Those all seem like pretty reasonable office expenses if I’m honest.

  8. 8
    Concerned of Rossendale says:

    Why is there such a variation in the price of pencil sharpeners?

    We need to be told.

  9. 9
    Cynic says:

    The only use for Tippex these days is to sniff

  10. 10
    Bargain Hunter says:

    Where can you actually buy a bulldog clip for 7p or Tipp-Ex for 13p for that matter? Without more context this is pretty meaningless. If these are separately submitted claims then it is ridiculous but…don’t let the dull truth get in the way of a snout in the trough story!

  11. 11
    EU Stazi says:

    Show the prices in Euro or face prosecution

  12. 12
    lolwut says:

    Who cares if they’re buying staplers? Genuine office expense.

    I’m more concerned by duck houses, house flipping and taxpayer funded holidays

  13. 13
    Anonymous says:

    Most people employed in office jobs don’t pay for their own stationary. This includes civil servants. Can’t see why these claims are so scandalous.

  14. 14
    McShame says:

    I claimed for 880,000 packs of staples at 17p per pack.

  15. 15
    Monatomic says:

    “Karma” will come round and affect their lives………man!!!!!….Mark my words!

  16. 16
    Morgan's Organ says:

    Give credit where its due, Austin Mitchell found a bargain, 2p for a pencil sharpener seems pretty good value to me!

  17. 17
    8 Ace - £1.49 says:

    Agreed, this is pretty tenuous stuff but then it is August

  18. 18
    Wasn’t us mister says:

    Are these taken out of one big order, I would have thought, that the Palace of Westminster would have a maintenance stores and office stores, which did all the supplies for the MPs, if not why are these MPs allowed to run the country, if the MPs are buying stuff separately and putting expenses in then something is totally wrong.

  19. 19
    concrete pump says:

    None of those prices are real unless the HOC stationary cupboard is massively subsidised…..

    Oh hang on….

  20. 20
    Brandon Lewis says:

    Don’t forget my 2p claim for a pencil sharpener.

    Why is it that now that Penny Morduant woman is fighting the firefighters that I don’t get enough exposure on twitter.

    Uncle Eric, can you help me out on this one, please?

  21. 21
    Cost of living says:

    Where the bloody hell do you buy a calender for 4p or a pencil sharpener for 2p? Do they have their own stationers in the HoC?

  22. 22
    Fiddlers ferry says:

    We use real money in this country, so do one.

  23. 23
    qlangley says:

    So Brown can’t add up and the Mail can’t spell. A “stationary cupboard” is one that doesn’t move. I think they are talking about stationery.

  24. 24

    There should be no problem with disclosing all claims.

    These stationary claims do look a bit odd, but if they were kept hidden all that would happen is real or imagined ‘screwing’ of the system would occur there.

    Look after the pennies, and the pounds look after themselves.

    Vote UKIP :-D

  25. 25

    Looks like they cannot do anything right. If they save money by ordering essential office items cheaply they get criticised for meanness and if they buy something that is overpriced they get accused of toughing.

    I think Guido needs to be even handed here because the golden days of toughing stories seem to be stretching very thin now.

  26. 26
    Bog Paper says:

    Perhaps they “part” allocate the cost depending on the private/public use, so 2p would be about 10% use of a 20p sharpener?

    Thieving torags, why do they need to claim these at all, “normal” people just use them and don’t bother claiming.

  27. 27
    Barry Obongo says:

    I see from my teleprompter (made in Nairobi) that calender is spelled C*A*L*E*N*D*A*R in ebonics, naaaaamsayin’!

  28. 28
    Anonymous says:

    What does it cost to administer these expense claims.

    Claim 2p – admin charge for processing claim > £20

    Crazy . Why not just give them a stationery allowance and have done no claims no hassle.

  29. 29
    Bill Quango MP says:

    I purchased an ipad from a parliamentary colleague for £50

    He said he’d give me a receipt for £300 but unfortunately, before he could. he had to go away for a while, somewhere.

    Shame really. He had a whole garage full of them. Would have made good Xmas presents.

  30. 30
    Yup, spot on says:

    Yup, spot on – all MPs expenses claims should be put online and in full. It is our money so we are entitled to know how much and what it is being spent on.

  31. 31
    Cynical Old Bastard says:

    A judge led inquiry, perhaps?

  32. 32
    Denis McShame says:

    Stationary allowance….yes…. I like the sound of that…no receipts needed, eh?
    Sounds very good indeed.

  33. 33
    its a R.I.P.-off says:

    yah BOO hiss

  34. 34

    The cost paid by the public to account for the bull clip would be higher than its cost!

  35. 35
    Anonymous says:

    Gordon Brown?

    £1 calculator.

    I see.

  36. 36
    Anonymous says:

    In it simply for the money….

  37. 37
    Use a purchasing card says:

    Mmmm, pretty tenuous stuff Guido.

    I agree it should be transparent but no-one in business pays for their own stationary and so why should MP’s be any different. It’s the cost of running their offices, i.e. legit expenses. When we do a stationary order in business, some items might be large and some small; just splitting out the lower cost items seems to be a bit muck raking to be frank.

    I’m sure at Guido Towers the costs of running this website (including pens,paper, printer cartridges etc) are all chargeable?

  38. 38

    Also has been some spin on R’ussian channels that the detail of which Red Cross the R’ussian’s have agreement with is not reported properly. There are attempts to confuse between ‘official’ ICRC and Kiev’s own RC represented by A’lla K’habarova.

    Bit of a bun fight: R’ussia will want maximum confusion in order to justify it just sending in its own ‘aid’. They may well accuse ICRC of obstructing and contributing to the ‘crisis’ when objections are raised.

    3 ICRC representatives were detained recently, apparently under orders of S’trelkov (G’irkin) in DNR.

    h**p://euromaidanpress.com/2014/08/06/terrorists-kidnap-red-cross-representatives/

    NB: ICRC were detained back in May for a few hours in similar fashion:

    h**p://www.france24.com/en/20140510-separatists-detain-red-cross-staff-east-ukraine-spying/

    Vote UKIP :-D

  39. 39
    Anonymous says:

    My God. Public servants paid expenses to run offices spend their expenses on office supplies!! How dare they?

    Let’s be clear what you’ve done here. You’ve gone through bulk claims for office supplies and picked out the items that you think are funniest – pretending that the MPs submitted individual claims for them. It’s pathetic and a little bit insulting to the journalists who uncovered the actual scandals several years ago.

    In the interests of transparency, maybe you would like to tell your readers how many thousands it would cost in staff time to itemise every single paperclip?

  40. 40
    Bob says:

    Good shout Guido.

    These grasping MP’s do need to be hounded mercilessly until they learn.

    And that is why I thoroughly detest Cameron: supposedly worth iro 50 million – but still he managed to claim for wisteria removal from his London house’s chimney on expenses.

    As you do.

    If he displays such poor judgement on household chores, then why the hell would he be any good with national or international politics ?

    He should always have been claiming a big fat zero for expenses: to remove the risk of just such embarrassments – and to show he was not in fact a grasping politician just like the rest of them.

  41. 41
    Dangerous Brian says:

    Oh no we don’t.

  42. 42

    It’s probably part of a larger stationary order and so will have one processing cost.

  43. 43
    AJC says:

    and a few bottles of diluent/

  44. 44
    Dangerous Brian says:

    Not many cupboards move, unless they’re being delivered.

  45. 45
    Claim here, claim here!! says:

    Absolutely not.

    We’d never hear the outcome – it’d have the same timetable as Chilcot et al

  46. 46
    Martin says:

    It’s the thin end of the wedge – boundaries will quickly be pushed – first hide expenditure under £10 – then it will be £100 and then £1000 – and hey presto MPs will be back to the good old days !

  47. 47
    My life is worthe more than 2p a minute. says:

    For fuck’s sake. It is it worth a minute or even 10 seconds of your life to fill out a claim for 2p? Do these c*nts not put a value on their own life and time let alone anybody elses?

  48. 48
  49. 49
    Dave Bulldog Cameron says:

    As soon as I realised my claims for a second home would not stand up to scrutiny I paid back every penny without a moment’s hesitation.

  50. 50
    concrete pump says:

    “Itemise every single paper clip”..?

    Err no.

    Every box of 100 will be fine.

  51. 51
    My life is worth more than 2p a minute. says:

    At that price it will only have eight digits. It’s probably why he couldn’t figure out the consequences of squandering 13 figure amounts.

  52. 52
    Dangerous Brian says:

    Well said.

  53. 53

    Just bought a bottle of whiskey in the Commons shop for 20p. Should I claim for it?

  54. 54
    Anonymous says:

    Poroshenko doesn’t want the civilian aid to get through to where it’s needed.He’s having too much fun murdering them at the moment.

  55. 55
    Rickytshirt says:

    Don’t buy those cheap calculators, Gordon; They’re a false economy.

  56. 56
    My life is worth more than 2p a minute. says:

    ‘Actual journalists’ did no such thing. They had it handed to them on a plate. And even then many newspapers refused to run with the story. ‘Actual journalists’ have been colluding with the cover-up of this and much more for generation. ‘Actual journalists’ are part of the fucking problem and not the solution.

  57. 57

    Most employees wouldn’t dream of claiming for such trivial items. They would set it off against the occasional employer’s stationery item that found its way to their home.

  58. 58
    Owen Jones says:

    Those bulldog clips are painful, but I like it!

  59. 59
    Claim here, claim here!! says:

    Pencil sharpeners – why? Who uses pencils these days?

    But there again it makes for easy erasing of any damning evidence

  60. 60
    anom MP feeling tiny little bit guilty says:

    Pick up paper off floor, 50P a sheet
    Putting waste in bin, in office, £1 a go.
    Waste in bin on Parliament Estate £5 a go

    Answering Phone £2.50 a minute
    Turn off light 50P

    Lock Door free
    Hello and Goodbye free

  61. 61
    Taxpayer says:

    Alternatively they could claim them on their tax return from HMRC like the rest of us?

  62. 62
    A BIT OF COMMON SENSE says:

    Give the guy a break! he does to start somewhere… he’s run out of fingers and he’s got to the end of his toes!

  63. 63
    Jim says:

    There is obvious press misrepresentation here or these prices are subsidized from another budget.

  64. 64
    Anonymous says:

  65. 65
    Mornington Crescent says:

    Hear, hear.

    Written by mongs, for mongs.

    I claim every single penny of legit expenses from my employer. What’s the problem? Why the fuck shouldn’t I be reimbursed?

  66. 66

    That’s outright R’ussian propaganda :-)

    L’avrov outright contradicting B’arroso yesterday similar.

    No one agreed to R’ussian aid going in – only ICRC aid.

    http://www.dw.de/kyiv-puts-brakes-on-russian-aid-convoy/a-17847357?maca=en-rss-en-all-1573-rdf

    Looks also like there may be some attacks from the Western side of U’kraine:

    h**p://en.itar-tass.com/world/744538

    T’ransdniestria is getting ready to repel any attack – which is K’remlin speak for – they are getting ready to invade.

    Vote UKIP :-D

  67. 67
    Daxelrod says:

    Oink

  68. 68
    Oh, really? says:

    So the IPSA Chief would not say Boo to a Goose? Idiot.

  69. 69
    Mancman says:

    Doesn’t Parliament have a stationery cupboard?

  70. 70
    Joe Public says:

    Public sponsored letters from Blair, Brown, all surviving members who attended cabinet 2002 to 2003, Miliband, Iain Duncan Smith.

    along the lines of “We fully consent all papers, correspondence, minutes, recording, and anything held or kept about events, inuendo, hearsay, anything, about IRAQ conflict, SHALL be fully made available to Chilcott and co and can be published in the public domain”.

  71. 71
    P l e b says:

    The c-unt claimed DLA ffs.

  72. 72
    Ed Balls says:

    What’s a calculator?

  73. 73
    Marie Antoinette says:

    Don’t they all have i pads ?

  74. 74
    Me says:

    This will be one item on a receipt for stationary, so rather than taking 10 seconds to make a claim what you are actually asking is that they carefully check every receipt in case there is a claimable item that you think is of too low a value in which case they must exclude it. that is ridiculous

    I think Guido is great but this sort of story lets him down it is just like the worst of the newspaper journalists – don’t care about the reality just want a story

  75. 75
    Christina says:

    You should see the claims for sanitory towels.

  76. 76

    This is one way to deal with a child custody dispute:

    Vote UKIP :-D

  77. 77
    P l e b says:

    Labour have had a 4%-5% percentage lead since 2010.

    For every 1%, they get a 10 seat majority.

    Cameron is toast.

    Haha

  78. 78
    the general public says:

    2p for a sharpener, 13p for tippex……..where????

  79. 79
    Plecostomus says:

    We sell billions of dollars of armaments to Saudi Arabia, but they never seem to use them…

  80. 80
    Tory beat George Galloway Glasgow says:

    pencil sharpener seems popular

  81. 81
  82. 82
    Tachybaptus says:

    Good old Boris! Every time he opens his fat gob, the Labour vote increases.

  83. 83

    To your point, KSA have been buying a lot from Ch!na recently also, and don’t seem to use those either.

    Vote UKIP :-D

  84. 84
    Lord Peacey says:

    9p for a bulldog clip.
    And he still couldn’t keep the lady’s mouth shut.

  85. 85
    Lord Peacey says:

    Jesus says: love your enemies
    Israel says: kill your enemies
    Isis says: kill your friends, family and your enemies

  86. 86
    Diana Abbott says:

    His wife should have married a black bloke.
    When you split up with one of them you’re guaranteed to be left with the children.

  87. 87
    Maimed Codger says:

    One has to be extremely worried by some of these claims… 2p for a pencil sharpener…. reasonably where can one find such a thing… I would hope there is a receipt, if not, the claim should not be accepted… as with the rest of us who are registered for VAT.

  88. 88
    Money Go Roun says:

    Cost of items £1.78

    Cost of ticking boxes and stamping expense claims £348,986.65

  89. 89
    M­a­­q­b­o­­ul says:

    You or I wouldn’t bother claiming for such items but clearly they have minions doing this for them. Anyone who’s ever worked in an office knows that the big boss gets his secretary to fill out his expense claims for him.

    So, as the MP is not to be shortchanged 50p or so the taxpayer foots the bill of twenty grand a year ++ to employ for each one of these an office administrator/PA.

  90. 90
    Paniagua says:

    So if they are buying all these stationary items, what the fuck were all the iPads for that were supposed to cut down on physical paper?

  91. 91
    We're all in it together. says:

    Austin got it third hand from Emma Lewell Buck who paid 5p for it from Liz Kendall who bought it for 7p from Lord Mandelbum of Fondleboys who found it in the pocket of a schoolboy who had just come from ‘music’ lessons with the Pendle Choirboys ‘workshop’. A real bargain!

  92. 92
    Vote Tory, get more immigration says:

    Sir John Major: Immigrants are grafters and natural Conservatives

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/conservative/11027798/Sir-John-Major-Immigrants-are-grafters-and-natural-Conservatives.html

  93. 93
    Single white female says:

    Stationary is a legit expense. More concern should be shown about the subsidised bars in Westminster.

    Drunken pigs herded by the Whip system to pass laws affecting England directly are something that should concern us all.

    I recall a recent drunken brawl begun by a certain pissed up Scot and that’s only one event we got to hear about. Shame on the lot of them. Politicians are a disgusting bunch of animals who care only about two things – getting into power and once there, keeping it.

  94. 94
    8 Ace - £1.49 says:

    The information should definitely be publicly available, I don’t see an office expensing office items as particularly news-worthy, though.

  95. 95
    M­a­­q­b­o­­ul says:

    But the costs of these items are subject to audit for commercial purposes and for Anti-Bribery and Corruption purposes.

    The scandal in this story is not the pathetic expenses claims made by these millionaires but that they are now seeking to hide them from the very people who pay for them – the taxpayers. Unless these transactions are fully transparent then there if fertile ground for more corruption.

  96. 96
    Vote Tory, get more immigration says:

    Sir John Major: Immigrants are grafters and natural Conservatives

  97. 97
    M­a­­q­b­o­­ul says:

    Suspect they are made by the constituency offices as well. MPs have two offices as well as two homes.

  98. 98
    M­a­­q­b­o­­ul says:

    If it’s not transparent then the system will be abused.

  99. 99
    maxwell murdoch says:

    Where can I buy a pencil sharpener for tuppence ?

  100. 100
    M­a­­q­b­o­­ul says:

    It’s STATIONERY WITH AN E!!!!!!!!!!

    Please spell it correctly as it is dining my fucking HEAD IN.

  101. 101
    M­a­­q­b­o­­ul says:

    Mathematicians with constipation use them.

    They like to work it out with a pencil.

  102. 102

    Proposed ‘HS2′ for !taly (over which G’rillo was jailed earlier this year for protesting) is polarizing !taly left-right:

    Armed resistance to HS2 in the UK to HS2 though… hmm…

    Vote UKIP :-D

  103. 103
    Badly Paid MP says:

    I need that brush and dustbin for my evening job cleaning offices.

  104. 104
    M­a­­q­b­o­­ul says:

    11 times already goddamnit.

  105. 105
    Clownfish says:

    Where do they shop? You can’t buy a bulldog clip or drawing pins for 7p and 10p respectively anywhere I know

  106. 106
    Laurie Penny says:

    Sad news about Fyfe Robertson.

  107. 107
    Mehdi Hasan says:

    Hear ! Hear !

  108. 108

    L!bya has been a bit rocky, but this doesn’t help Dave’s record on Foreign Policy much:

    Vote UKIP :-D

  109. 109
    Kinsey says:

    If you’re going to measure your dick use a fabric tape measure, to take the curve into account.

  110. 110
    Antiques Road Show says:

    A lady from Cheshire brought in a fine old tampon we wonder if any of our viewers can guess from which period it was from…

  111. 111

    Just for the avoidance of any doubt about aid into U’kraine:

    Vote UKIP :-D

  112. 112
    The man on the clapped-out omnibus says:

    Stop the bus, I want to get off! How much can I claim for spending a penny?

  113. 113
    The Growler says:

    Probably from the HoC stationery supplies, judging by those prices very highly subsidised what more do they want 1 bulldog clip 1 paper clip, are our beloved MPs from this planet, get a box of what ever, single paper clip indeed!

  114. 114
    OMG says:

    OMG I loved his bananas..RIP

  115. 115
    Anonymous says:

    There’s something very wrong with you. Looks like you are goung to get the war you,the EU and US crave.

  116. 116
    Fiddlers ferry says:

    Strange one that, Poundland did have calculators for that price, but I presume Brown has a mobile phone/Computer or were that taken off him, they have calculators on them, he saved the world you know, how the hell he did 10 years as Chancellor of the Exchequer and didn’t know how to use a computer or phone calculators, I will never know, maybe that’s why were in the financial mess were in and maybe that’s why he only knew how to throw phones at people, hope he didn’t throw any computers.

  117. 117
    Dougie says:

    You’re right, Me (or should that be I?). Guido is getting over-excited. Either MPs can claim for stationery or they can’t. Since they can, it would be ludicrous to have some arbitrary lower limit on individual items. All those 2p’s add up.

  118. 118
    Badly Paid MP says:

    I need that correcting fluid for making changes on screen for my expenses claim Excel document.

  119. 119
    Fiddlers ferry says:

    Chillax, take a break, some people deliberatly put spelling mistakes in comments, it proves someone, even if it’s just pedants are reading the comments on the blog,

  120. 120
    Badly Paid MP says:

    At least he didn’t claim for stamps.

  121. 121
    Get a move on says:

    Once again, The Mail gets it right!

  122. 122
    Anonymous says:
  123. 123
    Fiddlers ferry says:

    Don’t worry about it, a better bet is to find out how many different militia’s run the country, like army, navy, airforce, ?, ?, ?, USA.

  124. 124
    pigs in space says:

    Here’s the actual calculator he used to prepare his budgets

  125. 125
    Get a move on says:

    Anyone else getting ads for staples?
    Or is this a sponsored page.

  126. 126
    The Growler says:

    When I went to work for my second employer you could either use your fountain pen or use the “mail pen” (to you young whippersnappers a dip in the ink well pen) to post in the ledgers and yes I heard of one office where the office manager insisted on the use of the mail pen, ball pens were not approved for ledgers but you could use them on non recordable jobs but you had to buy your ball point pen later they did supply ball point pens, gee they were leaky, put one in your pocket and they leaked, yuk

  127. 127
    The Growler says:

    Like when they suddenly leave and find all those lovelly jobs promised to them have disappeared

  128. 128

    The EU / US really do not want war – neither does U’kraine.

    The war is currently in transit from Alabino.

    Russia has been wanting this from the start.

    Need to see what they do with the ICRC next.

    Vote UKIP :-D

  129. 129
    The Growler says:

    The penny has dropped has it?

  130. 130
    The two Muppets says:

    What a petty witch hunt . I doubt that most Ministers fill the forms
    in themselves and rely on junior staff ,so this is a non story .
    except for Labour of course and then it must be reported and
    investigated .

  131. 131
    MB. says:

    A lot of fuss over nothing.

    Does Guido claim back the VAT on his staples, pencils etc?

    I suspect that in the past they could claim an approximate figure for things like stationery but all the paranoia on expenses has resulted in every item having to be lifed with receipts.

    We used to have a system at work where stationery was not costed, you just ordered from Stationery Dept and they sent things out with no charge. Then the bean counters got involved and you had to order every item and have a cost code for it. They then contracted out stationery to a service company who were very inefficient. I am sure everything ended up costing far more than originally but the bean counters had cost codes to assign the charges to so they were happy.

    It would be far cheaper to just have a cupboard at Westminster where they could help themselves to pens, pencils, staples but of course the press would moan about that.

  132. 132
    The Growler says:

    “stationary cupboard” I think they were refering to the speed of MPs, now do you understand (except in claiming expenses)

  133. 133
    Get a move on says:

    You need some exercise and fresh air instead of being stationery.

  134. 134
    Old joke says:

    A tramp walks into a bar trying to bum a drink, without success. In desperation he says “How about a wager? That my dick is longer than the pub cat’s tail.” Much laughter, agreed that it would indeed be worth a drink, and tape measure produced. Measurements are taken, the tramp loses by a mile and is told to sling his hook.

    “Just a minute, gentlemen – where did you measure the tail from?” “From its arsehole, of course.” Drawing himself up with his last shreds of dignity, the tramp says; “Maytbe you would kindly extend me the same courtesy.”

  135. 135
    Fiddlers ferry says:

    Don’t they already help themselves, leaving an open cupboard in the House of Corruption will only make it more tempting.

  136. 136

    Chi Onwurah – mouse mat, 18p

    Mouse droppings — no charge

  137. 137
    Dai Bando says:

    Dustpan – 69p. That Vera Baird’s not stupid, she’s even got us funding her day job.

  138. 138
    Anonymous says:

    Someone planning to be Leader of the Labour opposition in 2015.

  139. 139
    Rob says:

    David Cameron – bulldog clip, 7p
    Austin Mitchell – pencil sharpener, 2p
    Cheryl Gillan – calender, 4p
    Jeremy Hunt – paper clips, 5p
    Emma Lewell Buck – pencil sharpener, 5p
    Liz Kendall – pencil sharpener, 7p
    Harriet Harman – drawing pins, 10p
    Ken Clarke – ruler, 11p
    Andrew Mitchell – Tipp-ex, 13p
    Sarah Teather – staples, 17p
    Chi Onwurah – mouse mat, 18p
    Alan Johnson – fold back clips, 34p
    Vince Cable – scissors, 43p
    Nadhim Zahawi – hole punch, 53p
    Alistair Darling – glue stick, 64p
    Vera Baird – dustpan, 69p
    Gordon Brown – calculator, £1

    Embarrassment factor Priceless

  140. 140
    Rob says:

    I think the Treasury used this to work out the National Expenditure during the last Labour Government

  141. 141
    LS says:

    Are they buying in bulk and only claiming back the ones needed for the office?

  142. 142
    Cinna says:

    When the idiots Brown and Dim Prawn brought in IR35, they “gave” legitimate business owners a stonking great £2500 annually to “run” their businesses. All revenue/income was then taxable at the going rates. They expected the owners to fund all office expenses from that “allowance”. I find it strange that MPs cannot be given a similar flat rate allowance. That would save the cost of submitting expenses and processing them as well. It also might teach teach them to be less cavalier with other people’s money.

  143. 143
    CHRIST ON A BIKE! says:

    eh? I know MPs are out of touch with normal people but these prices are from 1975 by the look of it. They sure as hell don’t use Staples superstore for their stationery.

  144. 144
    Twatwatch says:

    who the fvck are these people and who cares?

  145. 145
    K Robinson says:

    If an MP is allowed to claim for stationary, which I believe they are, then what is the point of this post? You seem to be implying if an item has a small unit value the cost should come out of their own pocket. Rubbish. Some of your posts seem to be aimed at making MPs look silly. In many aspects they are. But here I think you have crossed a line
    An apology would not be out of order from you.

  146. 146
    hoots mctoots says:

    MPs are not businesses, and IR35 was the biggest crock of shiite since the poll tax.

  147. 147
    ads? says:

    Firefox + Ad-block-plus
    no likey, no see-ey

  148. 148
    Anonymous says:

    How may pencil sharpeners does one MP need?

    And why do multi-millionaires waste their time and our money claiming for it?

    Even I wouldn’t claim for a fucking pencil sharpener.

  149. 149
    Cameron's a tight wad says:

    I may be a multi-zillionaire but I demand the right to take money from you out of taxes to pay for paper clips.

  150. 150
    pedant, petard, hoist says:

    dining?

  151. 151
    Gazza says:

    Shame the Mail can’t even spell stationery correctly.

  152. 152
    Millions of Mr & Mrs Joe Public are all Voting for UKIP says:

    Its hard to understand how every organ of this totally
    corrupt House of Sodom and Gomorrah are all conspiring
    together to ensure a much bigger victory on Thursday 7
    May 2015 for UKIP !!!!

    My personal message to them all is to keep up there
    outstanding contributions they are all making with there
    every action & words that will make this UKIPs resounding
    Victory at the ballot box…….Thanks to them all !!!!

  153. 153
    Jack the Ripper says:

    I thought Clarke already had a ruler. She’s called Merkel.

  154. 154
    Cinna says:

    But the same principal applies. Give ‘em a basic couple of grand and tell ‘em to get on with it. No expense claims allowed.

    We are at one re IR35.

  155. 155
    Cinna says:

    Not unless they’re equipping their kids for school, or perhaps helping the wife’s brother with his office expenses whilst he gets his business up and running, or……..

  156. 156
    RichUpNorth says:

    Ken Clarke, ruler 11p. Is that a six inch or a twelve inch?
    Vince Cable Guy, scissors 43p. Not for cutting his hair obviously.
    Emma Lewell Buck, pencil sharpener 5p and Liz Kendall, pencil sharpener 7p. Couldn’t they have asked Austin Mitchell (pencil sharpener 2p) where he buys his office supplies? This is after all taxpayers money.
    Vera Baird, dustpan 69p. What, no brush? Mucky bitch. I’ll bet she doesn’t clean behind the fridge either. Godfrey Bloom was right!

  157. 157
    CHRIST ON A BIKE! says:

    Funny that the Tories out-polled them in the Euros in England and that they held on to a Northern by-election with a 20 % margin which saw Labour go backwards 5%.
    Stunning results for Labour as they have been in opposition for 4 years!

    But considering that pollsters have had a 50 year history of solid gold reliability……errrr hang-on…..

    Please bet your house on Labour to win next year.

  158. 158
    Anonymous says:

    It would be utterly ludicrous for any office to purchase goods at high street prices.

    The price you pay at somewhere like staples or rymans can easily be marked up 10x from the price they originally shipped them in from china for.

    http://www.aliexpress.com/item/Simple-pencil-sharpener-eyebrow-pencil-gearshaping/1490342664.html

  159. 159
    Anonymous says:

    If I was Gordon Brown – and thank fuck I am not – I would ask for my £1 back for the calculator as it is blindingly obvious it didn’t work. Or perhaps the thick shit didn’t know how to use it.

  160. 160
    Hang the lot of em says:

    Oi….you missed off that other minor entry of cabinet miniter D. Laws….£40,000 for his shagnasty

  161. 161
    Sparafucile says:

    Surely these sundries are tabulated and claimed by office staff, not by the politicians themselves? So is it that big a deal? We all need staplers and paper clips – and my oh my did Gordon need that calculator!

  162. 162
    Anonymous says:

    Is it just me that smells a overwhelming stench from the not ready chilcott reort saga?

  163. 163
    Turn a Tina says:

    George Bush City Garp limits?

  164. 164
    Turn a Tina says:

    To take the curve into a what?

  165. 165
    MB. says:

    The point is that the administrative costs of accounting for the cost of each item of stationery far exceed the value of those items even if you allow for a bit of pilfering.

  166. 166
    Savile Row Tailor-How Do You Dress Sir? says:

    I put on my Underpants first, then my Socks, Trousers, Shirt, Tie, then lastly my Jacket..

  167. 167
    the tailor of Wakefield says:

    look after the pennies and the pounds take care of themselves

  168. 168
    Newstatesman says:

    Calendar 4p? Bargain!

  169. 169
    Anonymous says:

    David Cameron has a pencil sharpener. And a very nice chap he is.

  170. 170
    Just Saying says:

    You should be concerned that Gordon Brown, the Chancellor of the Exchequer, buy a calculator for ONE POUND.

  171. 171
    The Bottle Fed Triplet says:

    It’s “stationery”. Were you state educated?

  172. 172
    Anonymous says:

    Me too

  173. 173
    Anonymous says:

    “The Expenses Claims Parliament Doesn’t Want You to See”
    We used to send all our ne’re-do-wells to a land down-under, in the hope that they would change their ways. Now a court in Australia has allegedly issued an injunction, to stop anyone finding out about the shenanigans of those in high office. Might the common folk over there soon revolt, and forcibly transport their elite criminals back here as a punishment for us?

  174. 174
    Nigel's Father says:

    David Cameron – bulldog clip, 7p For holding the Tories together
    Austin Mitchell – pencil sharpener, 2p For easier writing of Pfizer tweets
    Cheryl Gillan – calendar, 4p Memorise when she was kicked out of Cabinet
    Jeremy Hunt – paper clips, 5p Separating claims for abusive language
    Emma Lewell Buck – pencil sharpener, 5p Helping represent her constituents
    Liz Kendall – pencil sharpener, 7p Forsharper comments on fridge thief
    Harriet Harman – drawing pins, 10p Storing Ian Dunn’s photo portfolio
    Ken Clarke – ruler, 11p Drawing a map of Westminster exits
    Andrew Mitchell – Tipp-ex, 13p For erasing hasty replies to police
    Sarah Teather – staples, 17p Sarah who?
    Chi Onwurah – mouse mat, 18p Ease of access for Hamas victory slogans.
    Alan Johnson – fold back clips, 34p Keeping his wife and bodyguard apart
    Vince Cable – scissors, 43p For all those ‘cuts’
    Nadhim Zahawi – hole punch, 53p To aid ventilation at his stables
    Alistair Darling – glue stick, 64p Keeping UK together
    Vera Baird – dustpan, 69p Sweeping all the police rubbish under carpet
    Gordon Brown – calculator, £1 No comment!

  175. 175
    Julia Sizergh says:

    When did the former Prime Mentalist finally get round to buying a calculator? Too late evidently.

  176. 176
    RWG says:

    StationEry, you c­u­nt .

  177. 177
    my financial affairs are like my sexual daliances.. none of your business says:

    It’s where CamEUron attached the clips we should be more concerned about.

  178. 178
    scrat says:

    Really meant grifters and con artists.

  179. 179
    Tom Catesby says:

    Emma Buck should have gone to the same shop as Austin Mitchell, she’d have saved the country a whole 3p.

  180. 180
    Tom Catesby says:

    Before I retired, I worked for a very large organisation in a building with at least as many people as at the palace of Westminster. We had a stationary department where we obtained our office or departmental requirements and office budgets (audited carefully) for such things. I suggest Parliament does this.

  181. 181
    Tom Catesby says:

    Is it true that the mother of one of the TV group, ‘the Monkees’, invented tippex?

  182. 182
    Tom Catesby says:

    P.S. I was told she got the idea from nail varnish.

  183. 183
    Tom Catesby says:

    How is it that several years ago and for a long time the Euro was worth about 63p to the £. These days, despite the ‘crisis’ in the Euro zone and ‘recession’, the Euro manages to maintain a level around 80p?

  184. 184
    Tom Catesby says:

    ‘Stationers’ became such when developing technology made it easier and more convenient for papermakers and sellers to stay in one place and not travel around selling sheets of paper, hence, ‘Stationers’.

  185. 185
    Tom Catesby says:

    ‘Stationery’–‘Still’.
    ‘Stationary’– the stuff sold at the place.

  186. 186

    WAS CAMORONS BULLDOG CLIP PURCHASED FROM

    ” DRUMMOND S”

    Stationers ??


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