August 8th, 2014

Friday Caption Contest (Frog Prince Edition)


135 Comments

  1. 1
    concrete pump says:

    Menage a trois..?

    Like

  2. 2
    Jeffrey Bernard says:

    “Would the princess like a ride on my scooter?”

    Like

  3. 3
    dai saucily says:

    willie: if it flies floats or otherwise f…’s – rent it mate – that’s our family principle

    hollande : d’accord! why didn’t i think of that

    Like

  4. 4
    Fawke Handles says:

    Fuck off froggie.

    Like

  5. 5
    Fawke Handles says:

    Give us a kiss and I’ll turn you into Sarkozy.

    Like

  6. 6
    Ghost of Greg Stone. says:

    Is that a Frog in your throat?

    Like

  7. 7
    Anonymous says:

    I think a wife swap would be good… or would it be a mistress swap?

    Like

  8. 8
    Peter Grimes says:

    Alors, M. Le President, ‘ow do you manage to attract such beautiful princesses?

    Like

  9. 9
    Steve Miliband says:

    But I av a bigue chopper also

    Like

  10. 10
    Very innapropriate says:

    Smell these, your wife definitely wants me!

    Like

  11. 11
    Osama the Nazarene2 says:

    Here in France, I’d keep your head down if you don’t want to loose it.

    Like

  12. 12
    concrete pump says:

    Sexy filling in a slaphead sandwich.

    Like

  13. 13
    Bill Quango MP says:

    Great news!
    Since Russia’s been suspended from the G8 .. you are now the winner of the Miliband prize for “worst performing economy”

    Like

  14. 14
    gary says:

    Who killed my mother?

    Like

  15. 15
    Bill Quango MP says:

    The aide in the tent finally tracks down the source of the garlicky smell.

    Like

  16. 16
    Steve Miliband says:

    Carstairs, Yvette and Rene cast for new series of Allo, Allo

    Like

  17. 18
    SleeplessInKirkcaldy says:

    Paparazzi shots – Kate outside with a right pair on display again

    Like

  18. 19
    Koba says:

    We are looking forward to having Gascony back out of the ruins of France

    Like

  19. 20
    Anonymous says:

    Have you heard the one about the princess who kissed a frog? He stayed a frog!

    Like

  20. 21

    “Nobody likes my dad and he gets by just fine. Stick at it”

    Like

  21. 22
    Owhine Jones says:

    Don’t worry even you’ll look good against Miliband.

    Like

  22. 23
    Maimed Codger says:

    No you can’t have Aquitaine back…

    Like

  23. 25
    Fred says:

    No, she never wears any knickers, but how did you know?

    Like

  24. 26
    concrete pump says:

    Zut alors..!!

    Her knicker drawers.

    Have tricolors.

    Like

  25. 27
    Robbie says:

    Surely you don’t go all in at once?

    Like

  26. 28
    Fred Dibnah says:

    Ayup lad, does she do ‘t shuttle?

    Like

  27. 29
    Caption Comp says:

    President Hollande:
    If you Royals lived in France you would have died by the Guillotine.

    Prince William:
    If you lived in England you would be waiting tables without any hope of a bunk up.

    Like

  28. 30
    Person Non Grata says:

    I’m not just a Prince, I’m also the Managing Director of Kate & Wills LTD.

    MH17. German experts point the finger @ Ukrainian air force jets.

    http://tinyurl.com/mxl2xaj

    Like

    • 92
      SleeplessInKirkcaldy says:

      Your link takes us to the far side. The internet really does let the conspiracy theorists out to play.

      Like

  29. 31
    French naval gazing says:

    William “Tell Katherine how many war ships you are building for Putin?”

    Like

  30. 32
    concrete pump says:

    Entente Cordiale…?

    Umm, thanks, I’ll have a Ribena.

    Like

  31. 33
    Dangerous Brian says:

    Hollande; “Is that Pippa one still available, I do like a bit of spare with a nice derriere?”
    William: “Much would depend on your residual wealth and available dowry, by the way, did you know she is a financially independent author of many best selling tomes, so your contribution would need to be significant?”

    Like

    • 40
      Pippa Middleton says:

      Dowries are usually paid in money. Money is very useful, and can be used for buying things, such as ornaments, carpets and manicures.

      Like

  32. 34
    Jim Yooendo. says:

    William: No, it’s just here..
    Katherine: Ooo!
    Hollande: Ahh, I always missed the spot…

    Like

  33. 35
    Tractor Gent says:

    Guillaume: Julie Gayet – t-elle aller, eh? eh?
    Hollande: Comme un TGV!

    Like

  34. 36
    Bill Quango MP says:

    “erm…let’s see..I’ll have a Stella and a dry white wine for the lady, thank you waiter..”

    Like

  35. 37
    Will says:

    Absolutely Mr President, Cameron is a C*NT

    Like

  36. 38
    sexysocialism says:

    I’d tax that

    Like

  37. 39
    SS says:

    You say she is the real CHOPPER Pilot?

    Like

  38. 41
    Anonymous says:

    Two mongs congratulate the winner of the International Silly Hat contest.

    Like

  39. 42
    Prince William says:

    When you hear the guns Mr president don’t run away it’s only the salute.

    Like

  40. 43
    Cunning Linguist says:

    HRH the Duke of Cambridge: “Haw! ‘Nature’s own dental floss!’ Positively diabolical, old chap! Only thing is– she waxes, Fran old man…”

    Like

  41. 44
    Nasal Ed says:

    The Princess and the Frog, surely

    Like

  42. 45
    EC1 PhD says:

    No Kate, he is not the Dutch president

    Like

  43. 46
    Bad taste Bob says:

    I see you have your mothers eye’s William I’ve got her toes somewhere in a box.

    Like

  44. 47
    EC1 PhD says:

    One doesn’t talk to socialists

    Like

  45. 48
    EC1 PhD says:

    You do that again and I’ll fucking whack you

    Like

  46. 49
    Anonymous says:

    At least I won’t be out of a job in 2017

    Like

  47. 50
    Kate says:

    I kissed my frog & he turned into a toad :(

    Like

  48. 51
    bergen says:

    “Non Monsieur le President, you can forget about l’entente cordialle with the missus”

    Like

  49. 52
    The Scarlet Pimple says:

    Droit du seigneur mate? – piss off

    Like

  50. 53

    My helmet is bigger than yours …..

    Like

  51. 55

    Capable of supporting
    6 million sq ft of warehousing and incorporating a 35 acre Rail Freight Intermodal Terminal.

    Warehouse Doncaster | iPort, Doncaster, UK

    Like

  52. 56
    Paul Bishop says:

    ” And Then I asked Katie if she fancied a crepe”.

    Like

  53. 57
    Norma Stitz says:

    “OK, you’ve seen mine naked, I’ve seen yours naked, so we’re quits.”

    Like

  54. 58
    Angus McCoatup says:

    You wouldn’t touch the sides frog!

    Like

  55. 59
    Manon_des_Source says:

    She is a princess and he is a frog, but even if she kisses him he will remain a frog.

    Like

  56. 60

    “And little George just loves Kermit and Miss Piggy”

    “Tres bien!!! I will Angela that we have a royal fan”

    Like

  57. 61
    Ippikin says:

    Non, Non I assure you. It was your pork that makes me fart, not the Camembert!

    Like

  58. 62
    Matt says:

    “The French must be so pleased they beheaded their royals and got you to look at rather than princesses like Kate…”

    Like

  59. 64
    Amy says:

    Le danger is averted. Closer will no longer be an obstacle to the French tradition of bonking whoever we choose, and le mademoiselles showing off le melons at their leisure

    Like

  60. 65
    Ippikin says:

    I’m really SC’s sock puppet.

    Like

  61. 66
    Ace of Frogs says:

    Anyone for strip poker?

    Like

  62. 67
    i says:

    I ‘ave to tell you, M. Salmond’s plan B is a currency exchange with France using the French Franc.

    Like

  63. 68
    Socialism is theft says:

    Ask her if she will kiss my helmet.

    Like

  64. 69
    Ippikin says:

    Zoot alors, I am so sorry. I ‘ave just realised the lovely lady is not Princess Diana.

    Like

  65. 70
    Mr Biscuits says:

    Aww is your only fwiend Ed Miwwiband….

    Like

  66. 71
  67. 72
    Fred the pensioner says:

    W to K: Does this bloke know any words in English?

    Like

  68. 73
    Gary Bloke says:

    “And would you like a side salad to share with your lovely wife, monsieur?”

    Like

  69. 74
    Weybridgeman says:

    Zut alors! She looks like she ‘as, how you say, A Penis?…..No Monsieur Hollande the dick around here is tu!

    Like

  70. 76
    Bill Windsor says:

    No look, let’s try again, say after me “Cheese-eating-surrender-monkeys”

    Like

  71. 77
    The British media are cunts says:

    She’ll get her tits out for a fiver.

    Like

  72. 78
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    M. Le President, you’re a tripod.

    Like

  73. 79
    Onion Jonny says:

    It’s a galette with a frou-frou; she wore it for a bet.

    Like

  74. 80
    Mad Frankie says:

    Marriage pour tous sauf pour moi.

    Like

  75. 81
    The Establishment Rules OK says:

    All three:

    “God, that Guido has some humourless and creepy readers. I understand most of them work in Westminster.”

    Like

  76. 82
    Le Sauce Hollandeaise says:

    My love making, it is like the French resistance a bit of a myth at first, very slowly building, building, building then bursting forth in a great crescendo!

    Like

  77. 84
    Cynic says:

    Prince “Mais Non! Boris n’a souhaité la moitié des bâtards à Londres”

    Like

  78. 87
    Cynic says:

    “Is she a goer …..?”

    Like

  79. 88
    The Great British Public says:

    Hollande didn’t think much of Wills Frank Spencer impression..

    Like

  80. 89
    A nonny mous says:

    Wills – her sisters got a great arse as well !

    Like

  81. 93
    The only Country in Europe not to have a Parliament is England says:

    So your Grandmother was not elected, your Father does not wish to be elected and you don’t expect to be elected, next thing you will say is your son won’t be elected, and you call it the mother of all democracy’s, the Majority of the People you represent don’t even have their own Parliament and your from German Scottish stock. I see why we have Bastille day

    Like

  82. 94
    bogtrott says:

    a prince amongst thieves is what she’s thinking

    Like

  83. 95
    Barry says:

    Don’t look round, but I’ve asked our Special Branch man behind the curtain to frog march that annoying little French chappie out of sight.

    Like

  84. 96
    Brother York says:

    HRH: Could you tell me Monsieur le Président how many French soldiers does it take to defend Paris?

    François Hollande: I am sorry your Highness but no one knows… it’s never been tried.

    Like

  85. 98
    Jimmy says:

    So I said to your mother, if you ever need a place to crash…

    Like

  86. 99
    Cynic says:

    “I fart in your general direction ……………”

    Like

  87. 100
    Cynic says:

    “Is there a route away from here that doesn’t insolvent a tunnel on the Perifique?

    Like

  88. 101
    Cynic says:

    “If your lovely wife gets lonely while you are way flying your little helicopter I should be delighted to show her around Paris ………..

    Like

  89. 102
    Cynic says:

    “When we went to Eurodisney with George it was shocking.

    As soon as the fireworks went off our French police protection team surrendered to Minnie Mouse

    Like

  90. 103
    Cynic says:

    …forgive me Madame but ‘ave you got a sister?

    Like

  91. 104
    Gaye Mann (Mrs) says:

    And she refuses, ‘ow you say, le doggy style? Sacré bleu!

    Like

  92. 105
    Ghastly Frog says:

    Yes, of course I have bashed one out over your wife’s nudie pics.

    Like

  93. 106
    on parle Franglais says:

    Frenchy: Vat eez it zat she ‘az on ‘er ‘ead?

    English gentleman: Fucked if I know, mate.

    Like

  94. 107
    Wills says:

    I’m not calling her stupid, but I just said “Oui! Oui!” and then next minute I was drenched in a golden shower!

    Like

  95. 108

    Prince: A hundred Euros? What’s that in pounds.
    Wife: Cheeky.

    Like

  96. 109

    …and if M. Le Frog makes one move towards the Duchess’s knee, grab ‘is collar and pull hard.

    Like

  97. 112
    Pepe le President says:

    Permit me to introduce myself, I am your new lover..

    Like

  98. 114
    gildedtumbril says:

    Are you the one whose father was a bodyguard? Or the one who is alleged to be Charlie’s?

    Like

  99. 115
    Zoot Alors Delors says:

    “Ah fand Ah score better wiz ze French tarts when Ah av the little herpes.”

    Like

  100. 116
    nigel idol says:

    thank god that sarkozy has gone , I can bring the wife out now !

    Like

  101. 117
    Fruitcake, swivel eyed loon, closet racist, crackpot, crank and gadfly says:

    ‘She doesn’t do cheese eating surrender monkeys Francois’.

    Like

  102. 119
    Cromwells Ghost says:

    Calais, could your Helicopter ferry all those refugees to England cheeper
    Monsieur

    Like

  103. 120
    0/10 says:

    “…so, did you take the helmet off first?”

    Like

  104. 121
    kate's suitors says:

    “Don’t we need one more for a Mexican barbecue?”
    “Silvio’s on his way.”

    Like

  105. 122
    Msr says:

    “Once Silvio arrives, we can get this Mexican barbecue started.”

    Like

  106. 123
    Violent Asquith says:

    Telling him he’s the spit of George Clooney, Wills, you wicked bugger!

    Like

  107. 125

    Monsieur le Président, You keep to your frog’s legs, I prefer eating these.

    Like

  108. 126
    hctroubador says:

    “A then I smack de ass like this…. “

    Like

  109. 128
    Merv the perv says:

    She’s a bit of a domme, but I quite enjoy being queened.

    Like

  110. 129
    Anonymous says:

    “Friday Caption Contest (Frog Prince Edition)”
    One asks, old man. Might there be any truth at all, in the myth that French kissing can magically turn someone out of office?

    Like

  111. 131
    Chris says:

    Anything funny above yet? I can’t stand the thought of going through the unfunny, the creepy and the unfunnily creepy stuff again to find out.

    Like

  112. 132
    Throg says:

    Spit-rosbifs?

    Like

  113. 133
    Rene says:

    Frog: Allo…. allo
    Wills: Pssst…..do you know where the painting is of the Madonna with the large boobies?

    Like

  114. 134
    geordieboy says:

    When is a Frog not a Frog ? When it is a Toad.

    Like

  115. 135
    Bojolais says:

    Prince: “Any flying jobs going, Monsieur le President?”
    President: “Bien sur, I keep my escape plane permanently fuelled.”

    Like


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Austrian Chancellor Werner Faymann on Cameron’s refusal to pay the £1.7 billion EU bill by December 1st:

“Well, then he’s gonna pay on December 2nd”



Mycroft says:

Have you read the last bit of Animal Farm?

You know where the animals are looking through the Farmhouse window?

My TV screen was that window at lunch-time today.

Be careful, the sudden self-congratulatory tone, the slightly pudgy outline of indulgence and you become exactly what you should despise.

The jolly face of the Quisling Cameron poses for your camera has mesmerised and deceived you, you who were once not so deceived.

You were no firebrand, you were a damp squib in my opinion, sorry.

You need a damned good kick up the ahse!


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