August 8th, 2014

Friday Caption Contest (Frog Prince Edition)


  1. 1
    concrete pump says:

    Menage a trois..?

  2. 2
    Jeffrey Bernard says:

    “Would the princess like a ride on my scooter?”

  3. 3
    dai saucily says:

    willie: if it flies floats or otherwise f…’s – rent it mate – that’s our family principle

    hollande : d’accord! why didn’t i think of that

  4. 4
    Fawke Handles says:

    Fuck off froggie.

  5. 5
    Fawke Handles says:

    Give us a kiss and I’ll turn you into Sarkozy.

  6. 6
    Ghost of Greg Stone. says:

    Is that a Frog in your throat?

  7. 7
    Anonymous says:

    I think a wife swap would be good… or would it be a mistress swap?

  8. 8
    Peter Grimes says:

    Alors, M. Le President, ‘ow do you manage to attract such beautiful princesses?

  9. 9
    Steve Miliband says:

    But I av a bigue chopper also

  10. 10
    Very innapropriate says:

    Smell these, your wife definitely wants me!

  11. 11
    Osama the Nazarene2 says:

    Here in France, I’d keep your head down if you don’t want to loose it.

  12. 12
    concrete pump says:

    Sexy filling in a slaphead sandwich.

  13. 13
    Bill Quango MP says:

    Great news!
    Since Russia’s been suspended from the G8 .. you are now the winner of the Miliband prize for “worst performing economy”

  14. 14
    gary says:

    Who killed my mother?

  15. 15
    Bill Quango MP says:

    The aide in the tent finally tracks down the source of the garlicky smell.

  16. 16
    Steve Miliband says:

    Carstairs, Yvette and Rene cast for new series of Allo, Allo

  17. 17
    Andy Burnem says:


  18. 18
    SleeplessInKirkcaldy says:

    Paparazzi shots – Kate outside with a right pair on display again

  19. 19
    Koba says:

    We are looking forward to having Gascony back out of the ruins of France

  20. 20
    Anonymous says:

    Have you heard the one about the princess who kissed a frog? He stayed a frog!

  21. 21

    “Nobody likes my dad and he gets by just fine. Stick at it”

  22. 22
    Owhine Jones says:

    Don’t worry even you’ll look good against Miliband.

  23. 23
    Maimed Codger says:

    No you can’t have Aquitaine back…

  24. 24
    Erkel says:

    with a picture of Maggie replacing the ‘Madonna with the beautiful boobies’!

  25. 25
    Fred says:

    No, she never wears any knickers, but how did you know?

  26. 26
    concrete pump says:

    Zut alors..!!

    Her knicker drawers.

    Have tricolors.

  27. 27
    Robbie says:

    Surely you don’t go all in at once?

  28. 28
    Fred Dibnah says:

    Ayup lad, does she do ‘t shuttle?

  29. 29
    Caption Comp says:

    President Hollande:
    If you Royals lived in France you would have died by the Guillotine.

    Prince William:
    If you lived in England you would be waiting tables without any hope of a bunk up.

  30. 30
    Person Non Grata says:

    I’m not just a Prince, I’m also the Managing Director of Kate & Wills LTD.

    MH17. German experts point the finger @ Ukrainian air force jets.

  31. 31
    French naval gazing says:

    William “Tell Katherine how many war ships you are building for Putin?”

  32. 32
    concrete pump says:

    Entente Cordiale…?

    Umm, thanks, I’ll have a Ribena.

  33. 33
    Dangerous Brian says:

    Hollande; “Is that Pippa one still available, I do like a bit of spare with a nice derriere?”
    William: “Much would depend on your residual wealth and available dowry, by the way, did you know she is a financially independent author of many best selling tomes, so your contribution would need to be significant?”

  34. 34
    Jim Yooendo. says:

    William: No, it’s just here..
    Katherine: Ooo!
    Hollande: Ahh, I always missed the spot…

  35. 35
    Tractor Gent says:

    Guillaume: Julie Gayet – t-elle aller, eh? eh?
    Hollande: Comme un TGV!

  36. 36
    Bill Quango MP says:

    “erm…let’s see..I’ll have a Stella and a dry white wine for the lady, thank you waiter..”

  37. 37
    Will says:

    Absolutely Mr President, Cameron is a C*NT

  38. 38
    sexysocialism says:

    I’d tax that

  39. 39
    SS says:

    You say she is the real CHOPPER Pilot?

  40. 40
    Pippa Middleton says:

    Dowries are usually paid in money. Money is very useful, and can be used for buying things, such as ornaments, carpets and manicures.

  41. 41
    Anonymous says:

    Two mongs congratulate the winner of the International Silly Hat contest.

  42. 42
    Prince William says:

    When you hear the guns Mr president don’t run away it’s only the salute.

  43. 43
    Cunning Linguist says:

    HRH the Duke of Cambridge: “Haw! ‘Nature’s own dental floss!’ Positively diabolical, old chap! Only thing is– she waxes, Fran old man…”

  44. 44
    Nasal Ed says:

    The Princess and the Frog, surely

  45. 45
    EC1 PhD says:

    No Kate, he is not the Dutch president

  46. 46
    Bad taste Bob says:

    I see you have your mothers eye’s William I’ve got her toes somewhere in a box.

  47. 47
    EC1 PhD says:

    One doesn’t talk to socialists

  48. 48
    EC1 PhD says:

    You do that again and I’ll fucking whack you

  49. 49
    Anonymous says:

    At least I won’t be out of a job in 2017

  50. 50
    Kate says:

    I kissed my frog & he turned into a toad :(

  51. 51
    bergen says:

    “Non Monsieur le President, you can forget about l’entente cordialle with the missus”

  52. 52
    The Scarlet Pimple says:

    Droit du seigneur mate? – piss off

  53. 53

    My helmet is bigger than yours …..

  54. 54
    Le Nudge, Nudge...ze Wink Wink says:

    Oooh la la….mon dieu….c’est moi, le President de la Republique….Francois Hollandaise…..ze leetle saucy one!

  55. 55

    Capable of supporting
    6 million sq ft of warehousing and incorporating a 35 acre Rail Freight Intermodal Terminal.

    Warehouse Doncaster | iPort, Doncaster, UK

  56. 56
    Paul Bishop says:

    ” And Then I asked Katie if she fancied a crepe”.

  57. 57
    Norma Stitz says:

    “OK, you’ve seen mine naked, I’ve seen yours naked, so we’re quits.”

  58. 58
    Angus McCoatup says:

    You wouldn’t touch the sides frog!

  59. 59
    Manon_des_Source says:

    She is a princess and he is a frog, but even if she kisses him he will remain a frog.

  60. 60

    “And little George just loves Kermit and Miss Piggy”

    “Tres bien!!! I will Angela that we have a royal fan”

  61. 61
    Ippikin says:

    Non, Non I assure you. It was your pork that makes me fart, not the Camembert!

  62. 62
    Matt says:

    “The French must be so pleased they beheaded their royals and got you to look at rather than princesses like Kate…”

  63. 63
    Ippikin says:

    Then Helga has to be Joanna Lumley.

  64. 64
    Amy says:

    Le danger is averted. Closer will no longer be an obstacle to the French tradition of bonking whoever we choose, and le mademoiselles showing off le melons at their leisure

  65. 65
    Ippikin says:

    I’m really SC’s sock puppet.

  66. 66
    Ace of Frogs says:

    Anyone for strip poker?

  67. 67
    i says:

    I ‘ave to tell you, M. Salmond’s plan B is a currency exchange with France using the French Franc.

  68. 68
    Socialism is theft says:

    Ask her if she will kiss my helmet.

  69. 69
    Ippikin says:

    Zoot alors, I am so sorry. I ‘ave just realised the lovely lady is not Princess Diana.

  70. 70
    Mr Biscuits says:

    Aww is your only fwiend Ed Miwwiband….

  71. 71
  72. 72
    Fred the pensioner says:

    W to K: Does this bloke know any words in English?

  73. 73
    Gary Bloke says:

    “And would you like a side salad to share with your lovely wife, monsieur?”

  74. 74
    Weybridgeman says:

    Zut alors! She looks like she ‘as, how you say, A Penis?…..No Monsieur Hollande the dick around here is tu!

  75. 75
    Cinna says:

    Non! But if you have a bike you can give me a ride on your crossbar,

  76. 76
    Bill Windsor says:

    No look, let’s try again, say after me “Cheese-eating-surrender-monkeys”

  77. 77
    The British media are cunts says:

    She’ll get her tits out for a fiver.

  78. 78
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    M. Le President, you’re a tripod.

  79. 79
    Onion Jonny says:

    It’s a galette with a frou-frou; she wore it for a bet.

  80. 80
    Mad Frankie says:

    Marriage pour tous sauf pour moi.

  81. 81
    The Establishment Rules OK says:

    All three:

    “God, that Guido has some humourless and creepy readers. I understand most of them work in Westminster.”

  82. 82
    Le Sauce Hollandeaise says:

    My love making, it is like the French resistance a bit of a myth at first, very slowly building, building, building then bursting forth in a great crescendo!

  83. 83
    Ippikin says:

    Allo allo, I am M Leclerc in disguise.

  84. 84
    Cynic says:

    Prince “Mais Non! Boris n’a souhaité la moitié des bâtards à Londres”

  85. 85
    Ippikin says:

    Of course.

  86. 86
    Ippikin says:

    No, not ME, the Frenchie in the pic.

  87. 87
    Cynic says:

    “Is she a goer …..?”

  88. 88
    The Great British Public says:

    Hollande didn’t think much of Wills Frank Spencer impression..

  89. 89
    A nonny mous says:

    Wills – her sisters got a great arse as well !

  90. 90
    Dorkass says:

    Wills: François la sens-tu qui se glisse dans ton cul, la Quenelle?

  91. 91
    Single Acts of Tyranny says:

    Kate feels right at home next to two small, feeble jugs.

  92. 92
    SleeplessInKirkcaldy says:

    Your link takes us to the far side. The internet really does let the conspiracy theorists out to play.

  93. 93
    The only Country in Europe not to have a Parliament is England says:

    So your Grandmother was not elected, your Father does not wish to be elected and you don’t expect to be elected, next thing you will say is your son won’t be elected, and you call it the mother of all democracy’s, the Majority of the People you represent don’t even have their own Parliament and your from German Scottish stock. I see why we have Bastille day

  94. 94
    bogtrott says:

    a prince amongst thieves is what she’s thinking

  95. 95
    Barry says:

    Don’t look round, but I’ve asked our Special Branch man behind the curtain to frog march that annoying little French chappie out of sight.

  96. 96
    Brother York says:

    HRH: Could you tell me Monsieur le Président how many French soldiers does it take to defend Paris?

    François Hollande: I am sorry your Highness but no one knows… it’s never been tried.

  97. 97
    Lord Wellard of No Apologies says:

    Aw haw, he haw, he haw, I see she ‘as ze little titties covered au jour d’hui, why ‘as she bothered? I still ‘av ma Royal Doulton Pair of Small Commemorative Jugs to celebrate your last visit to la belle France, aw haw, he haw, he haw!

  98. 98
    Jimmy says:

    So I said to your mother, if you ever need a place to crash…

  99. 99
    Cynic says:

    “I fart in your general direction ……………”

  100. 100
    Cynic says:

    “Is there a route away from here that doesn’t insolvent a tunnel on the Perifique?

  101. 101
    Cynic says:

    “If your lovely wife gets lonely while you are way flying your little helicopter I should be delighted to show her around Paris ………..

  102. 102
    Cynic says:

    “When we went to Eurodisney with George it was shocking.

    As soon as the fireworks went off our French police protection team surrendered to Minnie Mouse

  103. 103
    Cynic says:

    …forgive me Madame but ‘ave you got a sister?

  104. 104
    Gaye Mann (Mrs) says:

    And she refuses, ‘ow you say, le doggy style? Sacré bleu!

  105. 105
    Ghastly Frog says:

    Yes, of course I have bashed one out over your wife’s nudie pics.

  106. 106
    on parle Franglais says:

    Frenchy: Vat eez it zat she ‘az on ‘er ‘ead?

    English gentleman: Fucked if I know, mate.

  107. 107
    Wills says:

    I’m not calling her stupid, but I just said “Oui! Oui!” and then next minute I was drenched in a golden shower!

  108. 108

    Prince: A hundred Euros? What’s that in pounds.
    Wife: Cheeky.

  109. 109

    …and if M. Le Frog makes one move towards the Duchess’s knee, grab ‘is collar and pull hard.

  110. 110
    Tractor Gent says:

    Catherine: pouvons-nous lui emprunter pour un ménage?

  111. 111

    Hollande: It s only round the corner from this Elysee Palacce . If you like we can pop round in my Lambretta. . Third door Third Floor .

    As your eengleeesh ‘andycock would say ” Please give me just one chance … …..MY princess!”

  112. 112
    Pepe le President says:

    Permit me to introduce myself, I am your new lover..

  113. 113
    The wizz says:


  114. 114
    gildedtumbril says:

    Are you the one whose father was a bodyguard? Or the one who is alleged to be Charlie’s?

  115. 115
    Zoot Alors Delors says:

    “Ah fand Ah score better wiz ze French tarts when Ah av the little herpes.”

  116. 116
    nigel idol says:

    thank god that sarkozy has gone , I can bring the wife out now !

  117. 117
    Fruitcake, swivel eyed loon, closet racist, crackpot, crank and gadfly says:

    ‘She doesn’t do cheese eating surrender monkeys Francois’.

  118. 118

    Yep. It’s called “The Stupid Prince”. He stayed a frog all his life.

  119. 119
    Cromwells Ghost says:

    Calais, could your Helicopter ferry all those refugees to England cheeper

  120. 120
    0/10 says:

    “…so, did you take the helmet off first?”

  121. 121
    kate's suitors says:

    “Don’t we need one more for a Mexican barbecue?”
    “Silvio’s on his way.”

  122. 122
    Msr says:

    “Once Silvio arrives, we can get this Mexican barbecue started.”

  123. 123
    Violent Asquith says:

    Telling him he’s the spit of George Clooney, Wills, you wicked bugger!

  124. 124
    Hume Anna Tee says:

    Mais non, ze bogie is still zere, Monsieur le Prince.

  125. 125

    Monsieur le Président, You keep to your frog’s legs, I prefer eating these.

  126. 126
    hctroubador says:

    “A then I smack de ass like this…. “

  127. 127
    Jabba Le Chat says:

  128. 128
    Merv the perv says:

    She’s a bit of a domme, but I quite enjoy being queened.

  129. 129
    Anonymous says:

    “Friday Caption Contest (Frog Prince Edition)”
    One asks, old man. Might there be any truth at all, in the myth that French kissing can magically turn someone out of office?

  130. 130
    The Bottle Fed Triplet says:

    Oi ! Jabba, ‘Oo you callin’ a peasant?

  131. 131
    Chris says:

    Anything funny above yet? I can’t stand the thought of going through the unfunny, the creepy and the unfunnily creepy stuff again to find out.

  132. 132
    Throg says:


  133. 133
    Rene says:

    Frog: Allo…. allo
    Wills: Pssst… you know where the painting is of the Madonna with the large boobies?

  134. 134
    geordieboy says:

    When is a Frog not a Frog ? When it is a Toad.

  135. 135
    Bojolais says:

    Prince: “Any flying jobs going, Monsieur le President?”
    President: “Bien sur, I keep my escape plane permanently fuelled.”

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