August 7th, 2014

Are You a FOB or a FOG?

It’s been a bad week if you are a FOG (Friend of George). First Osborne’s big spending speech was obliterated from the news agenda by Warsi, then Sajid Javid’s second attempt disappeared under Boris’ shadow. Harry Mount in this week’s Speccie explains why the FOBs are beating the FOGs:

“Boris is already forming a loose-knit collection of supporters — FOBs, friends of Boris, to engage in mortal combat with the FOGs, friends of George Osborne, should there be a leadership contest. Jesse Norman and Zac Goldsmith are said to be keen FOBs — they have received little preferment under Cameron and bring powerful cadres of MPs in their wake. Alongside them is Nadine Dorries, one of the few Tory MPs to back Boris openly.

Boris’s deputy mayor, Kit Malthouse — who has the safe seat of North-West Hampshire lined up at the election — will be a staunch ally in the next Parliament. Interesting how Boris loyalists slip easily into safe seats while Cameron’s former advisers have to talk their way past grass-roots Tory opposition to coalition policies.

And here’s where the FOBs have the edge over the FOGs. George’s gang are largely in it for themselves. Their loyalty remains tied up with their own ambitions, which Osborne wisely satisfies from time to time. Boris’s gang are in it for the man himself. And the gang is growing every day. There are quite enough MPs — ones Osborne has been indifferent to — who will do anything to stop the Chancellor getting the top job.”

Are a FOB or a FOG? Maybe you are a FOT (Friend of Theresa)? A FOM maybe (Friend of Michael)? Perhaps you are looking ahead and have become a FOS (Friend of Saj)? Guido suspects in time others will decide to become a FOL (Liz, not Liam) or a FOP (Friend of Priti). Or even a bitter FOE (Friend of Esther). One thing is clear, there aren’t many left who give a FOC…


  1. 1
    English lesson for beginners says:

    “Sajid Javid’s second attempt disappeared under Boris’ shadow.”


  2. 2
    Sue Denim says:

    It’s all very well here in the UK where we can appreciate Boris for his Buffoon-ish exterior yet pragmatic-interior, but how will that go down on the world stage? Can you see him having serious discussions with other world leaders? Would they take him seriously?

  3. 3
    concrete pump says:

    Secretly all friends of Dorothy.

  4. 4
    HD2 says:

    If the Conservatives have any sense at all, they’ll choose Hunt as leader, with Gove as CotE-in-waiting.

    But, sine their track record is truly abysmal (Home, Heath, Major, Hague, Howard, Cameron) I think it highly likely they’ll choose another metropolitan, privately-educated Oxbridge PPE/Arts degreed former SPAD.

    And then wonder why they’re regarded as ‘out-of-touch.’

  5. 5
    nell. says:

    comparing those names to the folks on the opposition front bench and who looks as if they have the stronger team?

  6. 6
    Anonymous says:

    They should be ‘in it’ to benefit if the country

  7. 7
    Whiffler says:

    Wot – no FOA (Adam Afriyie) ?

  8. 8
    Long John Silver' s parrot says:

    Silly old me was convinced the next Leader of the Conservative Party was going to be a woman.

  9. 9
    Neville Chamberlain says:

    The next leader will be Muslim, introduce Sharia and bring back hanging for most things.

  10. 10
    Some people think differently says:

    Hunt no chance, he always looks as if, he giving you a parking ticket in a car-park and has forgotten to put his uniform on, I don’t see anybody worth even wondering about in any political party these days, time the hierarchy looked into the stix for people, especially ones that don’t tick boxes and have idea how us trash live.

  11. 11
    Advanced English for Idiots says:


  12. 12
    Jen The Blue says:

    Maybe a Boris led Tory party promising to campaign for us to leave the EU may just tempt me away from UKIP?

  13. 13
    Tom Catesby says:

    I don’t give a FUC!

  14. 14
    Ham Ass says:

    I’m a friend of Sayeeda.

  15. 15
    B!lly B0wden is the greatest Ump!re Ever says:

    Most things? Will bumsex still be allowed?

  16. 16
    Psychotic, champagne socialist, pedophile, necrophiliac, violent, BBC light entertainment star/DJ says:

    Surely the question is who will best oppose the Marxist J’oo PM, Milliband?

    Osborne, who has economic credibility with the few thinking members of the electorate, or populist Boris.

    The PMship of Milliband will be all about tractor statisitcs, plough metrics, and balls about why massively rising debt is desirable in order that public sector malingerers can ave a nice pension,,,so it has to be George,,,,dunnit?

  17. 17
    Mornington Crescent says:

    Ugandan discussions, yes.

  18. 18

    FOE: Friend of Ed.

    Vote UKIP :-D

  19. 19

    Trade Wars for dummies…

    Vote UKIP :-D

  20. 20
  21. 21
    Baroness Warsi says:

    First time in nearly a fortnight that I’ve had to wear a suit & tie :-( Don’t like it much in this heat

  22. 22
    Cpl Hicks says:

    EYBW is a FONC

    Fiend of no c’unt…except maybe the shareholders of Bacofoil.

  23. 23
    Winston says:

    The Media reckon he will be a shoe-in at the “safe Tory seat of Uxbridge”. That’s because the commentariat have never ventured to the unfashionable suburbs, like Uxbridge. Though, the constituency contains some decent areas, people there can see how mass immigration has destroyed neighbouring districts, such as Hayes and Northolt. John Randall is a local man, who’s family have run a local shop for generations. This constituency will be a marginal, with a strong UKIP presence. Boris will struggle to win it. People are bored with his act, these days.

  24. 24
    nell. says:

    No disrespect to sajidjavid but his speech was of far less importance to the credibility of the tory party and its future . Boris’s announcement that he’s going to look for a constituency to stand for in 2015 is the best news the tories have had in years. And I for one look forward to the time when Boris is leader and hopefully pm and we can all stop whingeing about how the tory party has lost its values and gone left.

  25. 25
    ex Tory Voter says:


  26. 26
    Cpl Hicks says:

    Only on a Thursday night.

  27. 27
    That resignation went down well then. says:

  28. 28
    haddock says:

    Boris wants Turkey in the EU, 80million more potential muslim immigrants ? can’t see that dragging many UKIP voters to his cause.

  29. 29
    Winston says:

    Yes, because Americans need more food, don’t they?

  30. 30
    White Flight Van Man says:

    My other van is a comma

  31. 31
    nell. says:

    I do not believe there will be any militwit pmship

  32. 32
    Paniagua says:

    Obama will accidentally call him Forest.

  33. 33
    bergen says:

    I would like to agree with you but I’m afraid that I can’t.

  34. 34
    Diane Abbott says:

    Dey all morbidly obese, innit.

  35. 35
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    What happens to Salmond and Sturgeon if the vote is NO? Have this Krankies look a like pair got something devious planned?

  36. 36
    EeeYepBlowing Bubbles (Jacksons Monkey) says:

    He is still in bed from last nights wankothon which ended early as he ran out of crackers.

  37. 37
    Thought of the day says:

    I hope the CIA take you away to be tortured.

  38. 38
    Bulls**t Baffles Brains says:

    Some Tories seem to think so, or they wouldn’t already be positioning themselves for a post 2015 leadership contest.

  39. 39
  40. 40
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    I do not care who leads the Conservatives just as long as Labour do not get elected in 2015. An empty packet of cornflakes leading the Conservatives would be better than Labour under Ed Miliband.

  41. 41
    We're only making plans for Nigel says:

    Those dogs have had there day

  42. 42
    Cpl Hicks says:

    An empty packet of cornflakes would probably be an improvement.

  43. 43
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    Choudary leading from the rear again. How brave he must seem to his fellow Muslims. Can jihad really be carried out from a bedroom in Ilford.

  44. 44
    Hme Rule for England says:

    Quite funny, despite both the Telegraph and the Spectator throwing their all behind Boris, the vast majority of comments below the articles have shown hostility to Boris (and that is mainly from tory voters/commentators).

    One should keep in mind that the media will have a field day if and when Boris returns to the political front stage, just think of all those kiss and tell stories (from Brussels on) to publish. It is remarkable that a certain senior pol has managed to keep the lid on his extra activities in Brussels, but then Boris has probably been more liberal with his favours!

    Staggering that some of the possible candidates for high office from the tory party should include people like Boris, Liam Fox, or Hunt (I won’t bother listing the labour dross).

  45. 45
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    Predictable Hicks, so predictable.

  46. 46
    Jimmy says:

    They’d be better off with Jedward

  47. 47

    What about Anjem Choudary as PM? Will Alex Salmond convert so the Caliphate can begin?

  48. 48

    It is good to see Boris returning.

    Vote UKIP for a classical ending! :-D

  49. 49
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    Uxbridge is close to Heathrow, which Boris would prefer to close.

    Friends of Dave trying to make mischief, claiming that Uxbridge is a suitable seat for Boris.

  50. 50
    Jimmy says:

    Keep voting UKIP then,

  51. 51
    nell. says:

    salmon(d) and sturgeon – that sounds like a great fish dish.

  52. 52
    lolathebeautiful says:

    Jeez. Don’t tell me that we have another useless Chancellor also after the ‘top job’, which he will be equally as useless at as the previous clown who tried it.

  53. 53
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    I’m not in bed I’m out selling Big Issues.

  54. 54
    Forrest Gump says:

    Obama is a laid back lazy useless has been and that is all I have to say about that.

  55. 55
    Anonymous says:

    “Are You a FOB or a FOG? ”
    So much for the long-term planning abilities and foresight of Boris. Closing fire stations in advance of reneged-on assurances not to stand, promote the risk of someone’s shorts spontaneously combusting. Although spookily, and possibly somewhat prophetically. Written in reverse order, the second and fourth capitals of his name may predict the real number of the beast he’s actually after.
    The French are going the wrong way (just like they drive), in respect to solving their foreign itinerant’s Calais encampment problem. They just need to remind Dave and George, that an election is imminent. Then point out that flooding Britain with immigrants, would allow the Conservatives to correctly claim a massive reduction in National Debt amount owed per capita.

  56. 56
    Cpl Hicks says:

    Boom boom…I’m here all week!

  57. 57
    PIG IN A TRILBY says:

    Why is Bonking stepping down as mayor ?
    is he taking over from dippy Dave the one term disaster ?

  58. 58
    Harry Mount says:

    To the tune of ‘MY OLD MANS A DUSTMAN’ All together now, and please stay in tune……….

  59. 59
    Socialism is theft says:

    Vote Etonian, get Miliband.

  60. 60
    Would you Adam & Eve It? says:

    Baroness Warsi drops big hint that she’s running for London Mayor.

  61. 61
    Chuka Umunna says:


  62. 62
    Friends Of Israel says:

    Boris is a friend of ours!

    FOI aka Z’ioloons

  63. 63
    David Cameron says:

    Not much of a holiday so far,and to top it all i forgot to pack my bumsex stick.

  64. 64
    Anonymous says:

    Hunt has as much chance as John Major did :-)

    Although it would be be nice to have a Joke of a PM that one can laugh about instead of cringing with embarrassment Blair & Brown where bad enough but if Miliband where to get in Scottish Independents suddenly looks like a good idea.

  65. 65
    Alf Garnett says:

    Bloody c00ns now they’re saying they’re too many white hipsters in town, you just couldn’t make this shit up. The bloody cheek of it!

  66. 66
    The Growler says:

    A lot of Cons are wondering, especially if they are in maginal highly swingable seats, are weighing up, who in the challenger line up has ruffled electors feathers the least and the one who is most likely to become leader of the Cons and who might appreciate their support, all this talk of “friends” is rubbish in politics as they would willingly scratch each others eyes out to advance up the greasy pole (it might prove entertaining for on lookers to put some extra slippery grease on the political pole). Anyway Dave hasn’t even talked about resigning, so far he is regarded as the most voter friendly the Cons have got, in spite of the popularity of Teflon coated Boris in the London area, he might even be able to unseat Diane Abbot, outside the London area he is not so popular. Dave has to get a grip, the wonnerbees are feeling restless.

  67. 67
    Wall it off says:

    London to soon become part of the caliphate.

  68. 68
    Pal Ntall of the Ukips says:

    What of the Conservative friends of Nigel?

  69. 69
    Dick Whittington's cat says:

    Do you think she is a Friend of Israel?

  70. 70
    The British media are cunts says:

    Any Tory that thinks they can win next year is seriously deluded. You haven’t got a chance.

  71. 71
    M­a­­q­b­o­­ul says:


  72. 72
    The Growler says:

    Boris has played the role of court jester (often they were brighter than the king) whether he is still viewed as a sort of court jester in international terms I do not know

  73. 73

    More food available to the US / EU would mean more available for export – price can be reduced also.

    This also does US a favour as bad harvests in the US past few years means there is a shortage of sorts there. So to your point: Yes.

    Vote UKIP :-D

  74. 74
    concrete pump says:

    Don’t forget to top up your dongle.

  75. 75
    Dick Whittington's cat says:


  76. 76
    M­a­­q­b­o­­ul says:

    They don’t vote for him nor do they suffer the consequences of any decisions he makes as would the UK electorate so who gives a fuck what they think.

  77. 77
    The Growler says:

    A Hunt as PM, now I’ve heard everything

  78. 78

    They are all a bunch of slimy FOCers

  79. 79
    Neville Chamberlain says:

    I forgot to add to Anjem Choudperson the fact the Royal Family will be replaced by Lutfur Rahman.

  80. 80
    M­a­­q­b­o­­ul says:


  81. 81
    Mine d'Boggles says:

    Would it be wrong to suggest that an intelligent carefully-coiffured buffoon from the right school is likely to become a rich source for blackmailers and a wrong choice for the UK?

  82. 82

    Remarkable Al Jaz programme yesterday extolling the virtues of GB as a muss country of acceptance, welcomes to all, come friends and breed. Fucking unbelievable.

    In other news, there are Parisian aparthotels where injured muss illegals are rehabilitated prior to being sent to England!

  83. 83

    Chilcot Enquiry “would survive asteroid impact” say researchers.

  84. 84
    M­a­­q­b­o­­ul says:

    And brush you teeth with cadmium.

  85. 85
    Anonymous says:

    Any pol has to be FOI or be destroyed.

  86. 86
    M­a­­q­b­o­­ul says:

    Most people in Uxbridge would happily see Heathrow closed.

  87. 87
    The Growler says:

    Teddy like Dave has got to put his stamp on his party, and lead otherwise he will be knocked off his pedestal he has to show who is the leader, like her or loath her that is what Maggie did, if the party members are indifferent to him, he as well as Dave will be out

  88. 88
    M­a­­q­b­o­­ul says:

    So Terror = Muslims ?

    That’s kinda let the cat out of the bag. The brothers will not be pleased.

  89. 89

    Boris is the champion of the City. Here endeth the lesson. Money rules, OK.

    Next hot potato please.

  90. 90

    Torquay United?

  91. 91

    Shoo-in. Nothing to do with footwear, more to do with sheep.

  92. 92
    The Establishment is infested with Nonces says:

    Reminds me of a lot of bald men fighting over a comb. Which one of them wants to be leader of the opposition fighting an election to implement more EU and more immigration from 2020. “I can implement the EU agenda better than you can. Nya Nya!!!”


    It matters not when the EU Commission makes most of our laws. And NO Cameron is NOT going to ever lead us, or allow us, to leave the EU. Nor will he achieve any significant reform, because he does not really want to.

    This is why I am a FOF. Friend of Farage.

  93. 93

    Nigel, your time has come. Your country needs new focus.

    Boris and Nigel…….the Dream Team.

    End of.

  94. 94
    The Growler says:

    They are there to benefit themselves, never mind what they should be doing, very few MPs come out as paupers (excepting those that have been found guilty of fiddling and only a few have faced that or now in stir)

  95. 95
    cured lefty says:

    If Salmond wins he is committed to sucking immigrants in by the boat load , planeload ,trainload.
    then he’ll whore scotland to the eu just like that great irish success .the irish are really getting tax hammered to pay it all back!

  96. 96

    Have a wash, you greasy spotty muzz.

  97. 97
  98. 98
    The Growler says:

    Wot, no FOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  99. 99
    Really advanced English says:

    Either Boris’ or Boris’s is correct when written.
    Boris’s is preferred vocally, though you would not know how it is spelled.

  100. 100

    Thank you, “friend”. We will remember your word association.For a solicitor your language is extremely loose. Your terror programmes seem very successful, on your own people. Still, keeps your rabbit breeding levels down a bit.

  101. 101
    Cpl Hicks says:

    I’ll vote Ukip if there’s a “happy ending” involved.

    Much more fun than a free owl.

  102. 102
    FOO Fighta says:

    Down with Friends of Osborne.

  103. 103
    Norm Normal says:

    So the speaker is FOS?

    Happy coincidence that also means Full Of Sh1t!

  104. 104
    One votes UKIP, don't you know says:

    None of them are friends, they are all FOEs.

    (Friends of EU).

  105. 105
    The Establishment is infested with Nonces says:

    David Davis is probably the only tory I have any time for. Working class kid, Military background, Experience of real life before politics, resigned over labour’s abuse of civil liberties, principled, genuinely Eurosceptic and would invoke Article 50 of Lisbon. Tolerant of multiculturalism, but not to the self damaging extent of pandering to every PC whim, recognises the real threat from the Islamic demographic time bomb…

  106. 106
    Post Al Vota says:

    Rat Furman

  107. 107
    The Growler says:

    Boris has not totally given up on the EU, if EU acceded to certain points (These include reclaiming environmental, social and home affairs powers, scrapping the common agricultural policy and ridding the EU of its commitment to ever-closer union. Guardian, he is quite willing to stay in the EU, and he could say as well getting proper accounts recorded often bought up by Geedes in the past prior to 2008 non balanced books and no accounts submitted, I would back him on that.

  108. 108
    Anonymous says:

    The majority will be friends of FONOTA.

  109. 109
    Stewart Lee's Private Education gone socialist says:

    What of them?

  110. 110
    The Growler says:

    Sorry 8illy they will be given the Bobbit treatment!

  111. 111
    Boundaries, dear boy, boundaries says:

    The Tories don’t have a chance of winning, they are just too dim to realise it.

  112. 112
    3rd world europe says:

    They should spend more time culling the kidnappers, and I do mean “kid”.

  113. 113
    tin-pot tartan tyrant says:

    They’ll thcweam and thcweam until they’re thick.
    (cue jokes about being dim).

  114. 114
    Anonymous says:

    When it happens it will read like a divorce case Bullingdon v Bullingdon with Bullingdon being cited. Character witnesses will of course be called on both sides.

  115. 115
    Cursty Squawk says:

    So it’s Warsi and the BBC against the world.

  116. 116
    Call me Dave says:

    Friends of Dickhead?

  117. 117
    It's the difference says:

    Between shit and shyte.

  118. 118
    Piss-poor Comedian says:

    Look’s like it’s FOC off!

  119. 119
    bennys rool ok says:

    It not munny it corld bennys

    nuthin rong with bennys!

  120. 120
    SmellingTheCoffee says:

    80% of MPs are FOI (Friends of Israel) club members, so they’ll start wars and support those war criminals whichever gang of scum wins.

  121. 121
    SmellingTheCoffee says:

    Even further down with Friends of Israel.

  122. 122
    SmellingTheCoffee says:

    LOL, Funny thing is that most people don’t know WTF Sharia law is. Some of it is quite good and they advocate a lot of it themselves!

  123. 123
    SmellingTheCoffee says:

    I am sure you do, Shlomo.

  124. 124
    Shmuel says:

    You must be the Hasbara day shift. They pay us more for working nights, Oy Vey!

  125. 125
    Smelling the coffee says:

    Most are actually FoIs (Friends of Israel), which makes them traitors.

  126. 126
    Yup, spot on says:

    Yup, spot on – If Boris wants Turkey in the EU, that is just fine – so long as we are well out of it all first

  127. 127
    Glyn H says:

    Well said Sir! And if Boris wants to enhance his credibility there is no way he should have that ludicrous bint Dories anywhere near his camp!

  128. 128
    Gary Bloke says:

    Right. An ‘s’ is needed after the possessive apostrophe.

  129. 129
    Fred the pensioner says:

    Do they still come with a plastic submarine?

  130. 130
    Fred the pensioner says:

    He is not stepping down as Mayor until his present contract/mandate expires (some time after the next GE).

  131. 131
    Fred the pensioner says:

    The London Mare? How appropriate!

  132. 132
    Jimmy says:

    Put me down as FO the lot of them

  133. 133
    Not In My Name says:

    Osborne is an ambitious lightweight with very limited public appeal and most of the FOG’s are indeed careerist no hopes suffering from pilot fish syndrome.

    Boris is, well, Boris and a real heavyweight despite the cultivated air of indifferent buffoonery which the broad public (apart from Labour types and FOG’s of course) understand is an artifice and appreciate.

    At least Cameron now has in inside the tent pissing out. Some of that flows into the FOG tent of course. Oh dear how sad never mind.

  134. 134
    Cpl Hicks says:

    Shouldn’t you be cleaning up the mess left by Aled Jones?

  135. 135
    The way it is says:

    “…a real heavyweight…” Boris Johnson is cynical self-serving opportunist.

    People never ever learn.
    Johnson is the real ‘Heir to Blair’, ie: will ruthlessly enforce his own agenda. F@ck democracy, f@ck aacountability.

    Owen Paterson is the REAL heavyweight, but we don’t someone who’s dedicated & competent.

    Let’s back Boris for PM. Yeah!!! Politics really has become showbusiness

  136. 136
    Eileen Critchley says:

    The next Labour leader will want George, then Boris.

    What he or she absolutely would not want is a grammar school type from a modest background who has the balls to tackle the big smelly issues of our time.

  137. 137
    We're only making plans for Nigel says:

    That’s just it, it does not belong to them.

  138. 138
    Not In My Name says:

    I agree. Patterson must have been doing something right to get death threats from the Green nutters having called them out.

    But sadly he has a fairly low public profile and Boris does not. That,in the facile world of politics, nowdays determines if you are a player or not.

    Personal agenda? Oh course. But the alternative?

  139. 139
    Anonymous says:

    Both are correct –schweinhund!!

  140. 140
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    No, a free Parker pen just for inquiring.

  141. 141
    Anonymous says:

    Iz or Moz, they’re all the same

  142. 142
    visibly shaken says:

    Russia is a net exporter of grains.

    This is a token.

  143. 143
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    Result! – you Cpl Hicks, Maqboul and CP – just can’t stop yourselves with your inane comments and references to i – displaying your collective obsession. You are the late night / early morning deluded old boy brigade – with little if any real ‘content’ to your comments which reflects your saddo blinkered lives.

  144. 144
    Geoffrey Brooking says:

    What about FOD’s (Friends of Dave) :-)

  145. 145
    Rupert says:

    I don’t care who leads your Conservative and Labour party, just as long as she has got big tits

  146. 146
    Nemesis says:

    It’s all so silly and childish.

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Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

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