August 6th, 2014

Government Spending Spinning Out of Control
DfT Advertising for £184,000-a-Year Comms Director

Are you an expert in “cost effective marketing solutions”? Are you capable of “ensuring effective penetration into target markets”? Would you be able to “develop a social and new media strategy”? Then the Department for Transport might have just the job for you.

DfT are offering a budget-busting £770-a-day to their new Director of Communications, which, if he or she works 240 days a year, puts the successful applicant on £184,800. Making them considerably better paid than the Secretary of State. Talk about jumping on the high-speed gravy train…


  1. 1
    Andy Coolsun says:

    Can you work from ‘home’?

  2. 2
    Public Schoolboy says:

    Well I know terms such as ‘Squaring the cost benefit circle’ and ‘lessons we will learn’. Is there anything else one needs to know for the role?

  3. 3
    Executive Summary says:

    ‘ensuring effective penetration into target markets’

    Must speak Urdu, Arabic, and Romanian.

  4. 4
    Socialism Ate My Future... says:

    So imagine as a white Englishman I had wrote this article;

    Would I be deemed a “racist”?

  5. 5
    Bumservative Partaaay says:

    They. just. cannot. stop. themselves.

    Fucking bastards.

  6. 6
    Diane Abbott says:

    W A C I S T !

  7. 7
    Nazi Homosexualist says:

    Ze public sector’s size and direct costs represents a very serious drag upon ze economic performance of ze economic region known as England

    My solution is to liquidate ze public sector workforce wiz ze flame throwers and ze extensive deployment of Tabun poison gasses.

    Once zis task is complete, prosperity vill flow quickly to ze vorkers who are supporting zis system

    All subhuman parasite exploiting zis system by claiming to be too ill for labours vill also be liquidated wiz ze flamer throwers and ze large scale Tabun gassings

  8. 8
    Brumrail says:

    Heres an artists look at the planned new HS2 terminus in Bham, site of the old curzon street station…. WTF?

  9. 9
    Jasmine Alibi Diarrhea says:

    Dirty racist buffoon

  10. 10
    nell. says:

    well two other little phrases also come in very useful in these sort of roles ‘I hear what you say’ and ‘ it can’t be done’

  11. 11
    The Bottomless public purse says:

    The Tories have taken their eyes off the ball and the civil service or rather New labour version of civil service where everyone gets filthy rich on the public payroll are running riot again and taking the piss.

  12. 12
  13. 13
    concrete pump says:

    If by ‘home’ you mean ‘prison’….then no.

  14. 14
    nell. says:

    And it’s not going to stop at £184k is it? he/she is obviously going to want an extensive staff to support the role in suitable style, plus a fancy headquarters and all the other luxury accoutrements that go with these overpriced government jobs like chauffeur driven jaguar and generous expenses etc. Oh and no doubt they’ll also get a generous relocation allowance to help them move from wherever they’re living into something more plush and upmarket.

  15. 15
    Paniagua says:

    That’s on the ‘nice to have’ not mandatory list.

  16. 16
    Mornington Crescent says:

    Some trendy architect’s crap that has all the characteristics of a greenhouse. And all this so that some sweaty biznizmen can get to Brum 10 minutes quicker.

    It will be cheaper to rebuild fucking Brum 20 miles closer to London.

  17. 17

    Another position for a politico trougher. Makes me sick

  18. 18
    Jasmine Alibi Diarrhea says:

    dirty racist english scum!!!

  19. 19
    Chuka says:

    No spare bedroom tax for me in my luxury villa.


  20. 20
    Mark Oaten says:

    Look like a big silver turd.

  21. 21
    Mark Oaten says:

    Looks like a big silver tūrd.

  22. 22
    Bumservative Partaaay says:

    Looks like a corpse to me.

    Tribute to Sir Jimmy?

  23. 23
    Cynic says:


  24. 24
    Bumservative Partaaay says:

    Standard public sector costing work on around 1.4x salary for the extras, so ~£258k is true cost of this one person. Fucking wet Tories.

  25. 25
    Wake up & vote UKIP says:

    Aaargh! FFS the DfT needs a twatter / bookface expert to help empty the trough.

  26. 26
    Andy Coolsun says:

    Before I answer this, am i on oath?

  27. 27
    Jasper Carrot Cake says:

    …and that’s Solihull.

  28. 28
    Gooey Blob says:

    Better still, rebuild London closer to the rest of the UK…

  29. 29
    Cpl Hicks says:

    This sounds perfect for me. What’s the pension like?

  30. 30
    Mrs Speaker Bercow says:

    I’m a Twatter expert. Where do I apply?

    What I don’t know about Twats isn’t worth knowing.

  31. 31
    UKIP for 2015 says:

    Throwing our money around like confetti already, must be for this horrendous waste of money, HS2?

  32. 32
    Londonistan says:

    WHAT !!!

    Rebuild it in the English fucking channel more like.

  33. 33
    David Davis says:

    Why. did. I. fuck. up. my. leadership. campaign?

    Aaaaaaaaaaaargh! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaarghhhhh! Aaaaaaaargh!

  34. 34
    Cpl Hicks says:

    Sally’s twatter batter.

    I just made myself throw up a little bit.

  35. 35
    Slightly Soiled Scottish Government says:

    Following recent reversal in our strategy, leading Scottish Political Party seeks new raison d’etre once we lose referendum. This will demand fresh leadership and a new team to prise power from the dead political hands of yesterdays men and winnin while hoping the voters dinae notice or care how much we sepnt on this

    Apply to “Scotland Says Feck Off Salmond”, No Independence House, Barnett Formula Way, Glasgae

  36. 36
    Fat Cuntroller says:

    No, they have their own set of parasites:

  37. 37
    The Growler says:

    Come on Fawksey you no that austerity is for the plebeians and riff raff not for government and government lackies

  38. 38
    Dr No says:


  39. 39
    Jasmine Alibi Diarrhea says:

    Dirty racist bufoon!!

  40. 40
    The Growler says:

    There one that uni students used to trot out at interviews, “Do think it would stretch me enough”

  41. 41
    Vlad the Loudhailer says:

    What about “consulting all the stake holders”, even Dracula murderes have rights!

  42. 42
    Drought Order says:

    Blue Sky opportunity

  43. 43
    rick says:

    That’s OK for a start, but what’s the long-term strategy?

  44. 44
    The remains of the Tory party says:

    No, it’s all fine really. We’re all in it together, working for the Common Purpose.

  45. 45
    concrete pump says:

    Sorry, I had a ‘whoosh’ moment.

  46. 46
    Anonymous says:

    Now then, now then.

  47. 47
    Anonymous says:

    Looks like the BBC have money to burn.Are all the payroll BBC presenters on holiday at the same time? #BBCWaste

  48. 48
    The Growler says:

    You wouldn’t even be able to swim in the same pool as them

  49. 49
    duty pedant says:

    For that you might even be deemed a racialist.

  50. 50
    Voodoo Ray says:

    i get paid £500 per day for working in the public sector, might apply for this.

  51. 51
    Cpl Hicks says:

    But you have no idea what I currently do growls.

  52. 52
    Socialism Ate My Future... says:

    I quite like that, has a certain Ali G ring to it “I is a racialist” :)

  53. 53
    non taxable pikey says:

    I’m a Shark in the pool.

    This is a bloody PR job, if the DfT (or any other business for that matter) was doing its job right then it wouldn’t need a PR person. Director of Communications, oh you mean a Bullshitter, step forward Dave’s token Baroness.

  54. 54
    Sherlock Homes Ltd says:


    1. Not currently in Monaco aboard an Oligarchs yacht – Not an MP
    2. Have lots of time to post on here – Public Sector Worker
    3. Appear to not be Left Wing
    4. Still at work/no summer recess – Not a teacher

    You are a GP of course.

    Or a bin man.

  55. 55
    memories of the way we were says:

    Are they looking for something better than Jimmy Sovile saying let the train take the strain?

  56. 56
    memories of the way we were says:


  57. 57
    Cpl Hicks says:

    Ha ha. Very close but….public sector worker and not left wing? How on earth could that be the case?

  58. 58
    The irony says:

    Bloody white men coming into London!

  59. 59
    Save_The_Dave 2015 says:

    Whats the fuss?

  60. 60
    inside out says:

    Does Patton need another job?

  61. 61
    visibly shaken says:

    Anybody who works in “Coms” needs to get a proper job.

    Anybody exec who thinks we need more people in “Coms” is a drag on their organisation.

  62. 62
    The Fat Controller says:

    Go off the lines, get on the gravy train, make your £ before we hit the buffers.

  63. 63
    In black and white says:

    I see no effnicks.
    Are you sure that it’s B’ham?

  64. 64
    O Bese says:

    He sure as hell needs another gastric band.

  65. 65

    This sounds like a job for ………….PATTEN, tailor made for the twat it would be another feather in his cap off magnificent fuck ups , what are they waiting for ?

  66. 66
    J Savile esq. says:

    I love the smell of formaldehyde in the morning.

  67. 67
    Penny Pincher says:

    That’s over 6x £25K Squaddies. Let’s keep things in proportion folks…

  68. 68
    alexsandr says:

    my hairdresser speaks ‘urdu

  69. 69
    alexsandr says:

    they dont need hs2 to waste money. have you looked at the comparative leasing costs of IEP traind (orders for great western and east coast) compared to Pendolinos?

  70. 70
    Odds favour ? says:

    He doesn’t report upwards.

    He seeks quango-type slots, preferably part-time work paid full-time, in which other people report to him, and they do all the work.

    It’s tempting at times to think about how often PC sidelines merit and distorts the work-place these days, as I often do. But think of him, and it’s easier to understand..

  71. 71

    No I cannot do any of those things but I can rustle up a mean Cottage Pie and my freshly washed vegetables ensure nationwide acclaim .

    So for that amount if money I hereby put my hat in the ring to be the new ” commis chef”.

  72. 72
    Bob the broadcaster says:

    If the woman had a clue….

    If her black pals aspire to be as wealthy as the “hipsters” she complains about, they just need to get off their scrounging, thieving arses and get jobs rather than try to sponge a living off those of us who do work.

    The next whine will be that there aren’t any jobs…. There are, but they all assume that the applicants can read, write and speak English. The Hackney blacks can’t achieve any of these three basic skills. That’s partly because they assumed that the world would give them a living and they didn’t want to bother at school, and partly because they insist on speaking a bizarre pseudo-West-Indian patois – when none of them has been west of Hounslow, much less to the Caribbean!

  73. 73
    Miranda says:

    It isn’t THEIR money – why should they care?

  74. 74
    RupertMurmur says:

    They’ll never pay off the National Debt at this rate.

  75. 75
    Whooshalala says:

    They could offer the job to old Cathy Ashtray, the Brussels Bombshell, she’s due home shortly.

  76. 76
    Bawda Gard. says:

    And prepared to learn the other 24 languages, and agree to learn Turkish ‘cos we expect a lotta them to be arriving soon.

  77. 77
    Fred the pensioner says:

    Why not try offering the job at say 50k? There will doubtless piles of applicants, many/most of whom will do a competent job (at whatever the advertising jargon/US business-school-speak meant).

  78. 78
    Fred the pensioner says:

    PS: Surely Ozzie and the Treasury have something to say about this level of excess troughing? Cut their budget by 500k and see how they ‘re-arrange’ matters.

  79. 79
    Yup, spot on says:

    Yup, spot on – makes me sick too. Where do these kvnts get these numbers from? Why did they choose 184,000 rather than 185,000? Who authorised/approved this disgusting level of remuneration for mainly sitting behind a desk day dreaming all day?

  80. 80
    Yup, spot on says:

    Yup, spot on – but go back over the events. You were probably stabbed in the back by your less worthy colleagues. Who allowed Cameroon to speak at that meeting? Why do you think Blair declined to participate in public debates on the telly? Look what happened to Smoked Salmon – threw his aces away talking Scotttybabble.

  81. 81
    Fred the pensioner says:

    Do BBC employees have to pay the telly tax – or that a freeby perk in their contracts?

  82. 82
    Fred the pensioner says:

    The comms bods are there to take the flak when the CEO and his mates fuck up. Still not worth nearly 200k to take a bit of shouting at one and lying through their teeth the next.

  83. 83
    Minaretter says:

    That’s the Mosq*e.

  84. 84
    Ivor the Engine says:

    Must be from Australia.

  85. 85
    DAI SLAVING says:

    indeed ne can

    but then one is in trade/industry

  86. 86
    Paul Nutall of the Ukips says:

    HS2 should be a purely northern development aimed at bringing together Northern Towns and cities.

  87. 87
    Man from the Ministry says:

    Got to pay the money to attract the, ‘best people’ old boy. After all, we’re all in it together.

  88. 88
    Anonymous says:

    “Are you an expert in “cost effective marketing solutions”?”
    No? Then how about a mastery of legerdemain, in terms of creative accounting? No again? So…How familiar are you with the techniques of mass hypnosis?

  89. 89
    Trainspotter says:

    That’s a Deutsche Bahn ICE train if anyone is interested.

Seen Elsewhere

Users of Gay Hook-Up App Grindr Infected | TechnoGuido
ISIS Raising Funds Online Using Bitcoin | TechnoGuido
UKIP’s Youth Challenge | BBC
ISIS Operative: This Is How We Send Jihadis To Europe | BuzzFeed
Shapps Defends Bashir Defection | Seb Payne
Tory Leadership Contenders Jostle Over Europe | Alex Wickham
Cutting Taxes is Good For You | Art Laffer
Suspects Will Now Have to Prove Innocence | Laura Perrins
Labour Cllr: Cops Shouldn’t Stop Petrol Thieves | HandF Forum
Creeping Cultural Acceptance of Anti-Semitism | Eric Pickles
Time For Greece to Leave Eurozone | Allister Heath

Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,717 other followers