August 6th, 2014

BORIS 2015: I Will Stand

At last Boris confirms what we knew all along:

“I haven’t got any seat lined up but I might as well be absolutely clear, in all probability I will try to find somehwere to stand in 2015. It is highly likely that I will be unsuccessful in that venture, you should never underestminate the possibility of these things going badly wrong, but I will try that. One thing is absolutely clear, I will serve out my mandate here in London.”

Happy holidays, Prime Minister…



  1. 1
    concrete pump says:

    Go Bozza…!!!

  2. 2
    Albert's chainsaw sharpeners says:

    Yeh!, go, no idea what he was on about, bus stops for Paris, I really wonder what they put in the London tap water these days via rain or pissing.

  3. 3
    Guy News Room says:

    ‘Shut Your Cakehole!’ Tempers flare between Prime Minister David Cameron and Baroness Warsi at Cabinet meetings.

  4. 4
    Jezza says:

    Looks like meltdown for DC.
    Encircled by Boris, Warsi, Davis and Nigel Farage.
    All because DC has no policies except to do whatever he is told by Brussels, Washington and Tel Aviv.

  5. 5
    WoRaft Chihuahua says:

    How handy that Bury St Edmunds is about to become available.

  6. 6
    Cpl Hicks says:

    At least it gets the Gazza and Arsi stories off the front page for Dave.

  7. 7
    Bender Boy says:

    Johnson to replace Hague in Richmond, North Yorks?

  8. 8
    sussexed says:

    He was asked on his Twitter #AskBoris yesterday if he liked Uxbridge & South Ruislip. He did not reply….

  9. 9
    Anonymous says:

    Same as Blair, who was so far up a presidents ass his nose was brown

  10. 10
    WoRaft Chihuahua says:

    But that’s like that poor bloke whose glider broke up, so he parachuted down but found himself landing in front of a combine harvester.

  11. 11
    Violent Asquith says:

    At last a potential PM with gravitas, dignity and that sober reflection that induces stability among nations.

    He will be sorely missed at Chipperfield’s Circus!

  12. 12
    Anonymous says:

    “I Will Stand”
    Then let us all pray your aims are true. Otherwise the people of Britain, much like the homeless in London, will also know how that mat afore the WC feels.

  13. 13
    Albert's chainsaw sharpeners says:

    If the Conservatives are lucky they could get back in power by 2030, they will certainly lose the North to Liebour and Scotland will go Liebour, ATOS and Camoron is still the hate factor.

  14. 14
    Bloomers in rain-soaked Bongo Bongo Land says:


  15. 15
    Cpl Hicks says:

    Sorry, I should have added that I’m not sure which one is worse for him!

    At least everyone knows that Arsi was batshit useless. I expect the “Boris Question” will be much harder for Dave to spin.

  16. 16
    Albert's chainsaw sharpeners says:

    Vote UKIP.

  17. 17
    Cpl Hicks says:

    Don’t be….errrrr…..daft?

  18. 18
    nell. says:

    Excellent news! And I predict if davidcameron wins the 2015 election he will only stay as pm for about three years and thereafter we shall get either boris or theresamay – both of course beat militwit and his motley crew into the ground.

    Now if only scotland would vote yes to independence so taking all those scottish labour mp’s out of westminster – westminster politics might be looking very good

  19. 19
    Mr. D. Ranged says:


  20. 20
    Boris Army says:

    Stand and deliver!

  21. 21
    Herschel Shmoikel Pinchas Yerucham Krustofsky says:

    There you have it. Boris will never get a proper job.

  22. 22
    Anonymous says:

    Note the tribe of who instigated the investigation…

    BBC conducts secret inquiry into Jeremy Clarkson’s alleged racism

    “The inquiry began in June and was conducted by a senior BBC executive unconnected with Top Gear. Around 30 members of staff and production crew were questioned in confidence and asked if they thought the programme was racist.”

  23. 23
    Press the TV says:

    George Galloway has apparently been refused entry to the USA according to reports.

  24. 24
    Dacre's Wail says:

    Wonderful. A perfect example of a principle free chancer (We must stay in the EU/We should leave the EU!) bigged up by his mates in the national media and whose image is about to collide with reality when he discovers how much the rest of the country doesn’t share the Torygraph’s relentless arselicking of this pantomine clown.

  25. 25
    A reasonable man says:

    Dave and his Tries condemn Colonel Gaddafi for crimes against humanity, bomb him, overthrow him and see him killed.

    Dave and his Tories say nothing about Gaza, leaving all conscience with a Baroness.

    The Country says 75% Palestine/Gaza
    Dave 25%

    The Tories are fucked.

  26. 26
    Wah wah pedal says:

    We’ve had the ‘vote Tory to get an EU vote’ now we have the ‘vote Tory to get Boris as PM’ – Cameron will resign if he wins the next election and will resign if he doesn’t.
    This is another attempt to dismantle some of the UKIP support.

  27. 27
    Wah wah pedal says:

    Oh do fuck off and give us our license fee back.

  28. 28
    R. Youshore says:

    Perfect logic – NOT !

  29. 29
    Helen says:

    Always look at the timing.
    There are no coincidences in political manoeuvres.
    Yesterday Warsi and Clegg strike against Cameron to get him out of the way in time for next year’s General Election. Then the guys in the suits turn up to tell Dave.
    Who will be in Boris’s cabinet? – Warsi? He is less scared of women than Dave.

  30. 30
  31. 31
    Fishy says:

    Bailed out did he?

  32. 32
    Mavid Diliband says:

    ‘Bye ‘bye dave and the tories.

  33. 33
    BoJo says:

    I will stand for Z’IONISM and deregulation of the City of London!

    Let unfettered capitalism let rip again.

  34. 34
    Fishy says:

    Quite right. UKIP will deliver the Marxist Miliband into No 10 and an irreversible drift to Europe.

  35. 35
    Nick Clegg says:


  36. 36
    Bloomers in rain-soaked Bongo Bongo Land says:

    Don’t be daft

  37. 37

  38. 38
    What floats to the top? says:

    Another Tory stands on principal [sic]

  39. 39
    David Cameron says:

    Boris will continue my incompatible legacy of Islamfication and bumsexery.

  40. 40
    Cameron Dishaa Patron Purpose says:

    Who in their right mind would stand against the mighty Johnson?

  41. 41
    Trust me, there are no rockets near civilian areas says:


  42. 42
    Lord Ashcloud says:

    More like player-manager

  43. 43
    steve says:

    Boris will, of course, stand in a safe seat and is being used as in battles of old to deflect energy from ousting the Tories as he is made out to be a larger than life figure-who, in reality, were it not for his privileged background, would be seen as the buffoon he really is. Labour are not that interested in who leads the Tory party down its path of neolithic extinction. No more ‘reinvents’ the people are not fooled, either by a pro Tory Guido or any of the other pro establishment media. If the people are given the level playing field they are entitled to they will take it for themselves. Or maybe the Elite have plans to turn our guns, ‘Gaza like’ on its own people??

  44. 44
    Mornington Crescent says:

    No. He’s irrelevant outside London.

    Goldscheidt’s nipper – or some other London Tory – will stand aside.

  45. 45

    Constance Briscoe, jailed for 16 months for lying to UK police, dismissed as a judge

  46. 46
    WoRaft Chihuahua says:

    If you meant Cameron, no – he hasn’t realized the wing is off, even though he did not win against McMental and probably won’t win against Miliband.

  47. 47
    R. Youshore says:

    Nurse !! Over here, quickly !

  48. 48
    Lord Wellard of No Apologies says:

    So, Boris for Uxbridge it is then!

  49. 49
    Lord Ashcloud says:

    What are you going on about?

  50. 50
    daveyone1 says:

    Good!Boris should cavort with Farage!

  51. 51
    Cpl Hicks says:

    Cheers Steve. Close the door when you leave.

  52. 52
    Ferry to France May 2015 says:

    For pityysake why can’t the Tory machine get united and organised and get fighting Milishit and his party. I really do not want to leave Britain for 5 years but I won’t live under a communist government!

    David Cameron and co aren’t absolutely perfect but think how you will feel if Miliwanker and Harperson and Ballsup and Cooper are in charge. Oh,.and of course Mr Jack Droney himself!

  53. 53
    JH3285934850923 says:

    Oh, FFS. I’ve set of things with more power than that on Nov 5th.

    Quick, bomb me Schlomo.

  54. 54
    BoJo says:

    Oh, and EuroFederalism too of course. No matter how much I pretend to be Eurosceptic.

  55. 55

    It will be interesting to see how Farage reacts to this.

    He has said he will never deal with Dave. But if this does lead to Dave’s replacement that gives him a freer hand.

    Much too early to call, one will have to see what Boris has to do in order to get elected as party leader, taking his re-election to parliament as a given.

    His recent stance on the City of London’s relation with the EU is instructive here.

    Watch this space… but Vote UKIP :-D

  56. 56

    You, sir, have some considerable work to do before you can be elevated to the comparatively dizzy heights of being able to be characterised as ‘daft’.

  57. 57
    BBC Tax Refuser says:

    I noted from my CCTV that one of the BBC/Capita’s part time tax agents had scuttled up to my front door, dropped a leaflet saying he’d called and scuttled off again. Never even rang the door bell…

  58. 58
    Telefunken U47 says:


  59. 59
    Will says:

    Good to see Constance banged up I bet she gets a rough time in holloway. She might find her high attitude does not go down well on the wing. Also her mother might sue her again for lying about her book in her misery memoir.

    Just waiting for the first guardian article blaming men and a male justice system etc.

  60. 60

    Time Warner will be cheaper next time round.

    Vote UKIP :-D

  61. 61
    ned ludd says:

    Enter the clown prince.

  62. 62
    Trust me, there are no rockets near civilian areas says:

    Trouble is, they don’t land; at least not by design.

  63. 63
    guythemac says:

    Is he on the approved candidates list then?

  64. 64
    Man in the street says:

    Time for your medication, Steve.

  65. 65
    Nick Stoast says:

    Cameron’s tweet decodes to: “Oh shit!”

  66. 66

    Things are looking up for Labour.

  67. 67
    Frederick says:

    Yet another clown to fill the circus tent at westminster.

  68. 68

    The bumbling savior of the people

  69. 69
    Long John Silver's parrot says:

    Is Dave enjoying his holidays ?

  70. 70
    Long John Silver's parrot says:

    I dont think so because he is not a woman.

  71. 71
    Esther from Primark says:

    Boris Johnson does not have a problem with women unlike David Cameron.

  72. 72
    Millions of Mr & Mrs Joe Public are all Voting for UKIP says:

    Yes Dave & like you, all of your star players along with

    the riff raff so called opposition are going to get clean

    bowled on Thursday 7 May 2015……….

    No wonder some chap called Nigel is laughing !!!!

  73. 73

    Read his columns from his days as European Correspondent for the Sinday Telegraph. A rampant pro-Europe camp-follower. Any suggestion that he is Euro -sceptic is utter bilge.
    He’s a bright ex-Public School boy who is a good actor and a bit more character than Cameron. He’s still vain and believes his own propaganda. And, even, worse, he wants the job, badly, which will warp his perspective – even more!

  74. 74
    Glyn H says:

    If Cameron wanted the best players on the pitch why have Warsi in the first place, where are Gove and Paterson, where is David Davis and why have we got twats like Ed Davey and Simon Hughes on the payroll?

  75. 75
    Cpl Hicks says:

    I wait with baited breath for Jimmy’s comment. It’s sure to be hilarious and highlight just what a shining wit he is.

  76. 76
    Fred the pensioner says:

    That lefty journalist(?) moron hosting the speech on the Bloomberg tv channel completely missed the entire point of the event. He completely ignored every word Boris had spoken in the speech and all the EU points – pro and con – he tried to make.

    All he could concentrate on was the irrelevant and bad mannered question from another “journalist” in the audience who asked about Boris’s intentions re Parliament, which had nothing whatever to do with the subject of the event. Boris should have just told that second journalist to effoff and mind his own business and insisted that the only questions he would entertain were to be on the subject of his speech.

    But now the cat is out of the bag and all the papers tomorrow will be concentrated on Boris’s possible candidacy somewhere or other, rather than on what he had to say about the EU.

    Fucking media stirring the shit as usual.

  77. 77
    Riesler says:

    There’s an image to chill the blood.

  78. 78
    Doomed! says:

    One has to wonder what on earth Dave boy is playing at. He doesn’t seem to be interested in the idea of staying in Number 10 after May next year. Am not certain why, as he is a pretty shit hot PM in my view, and were he to see off Milidick he would be likely to be rewarded well by the right and achieve 10 years in Downing Street. He would then be a Blair and a Thatcher not a Major!

  79. 79
    Anonymous says:

    Continue your meme, no-one’s listening

  80. 80
    Vectensian says:

    Perhaps he could stand on the Isle of Wight in place of the useless twerp called Carole Dennett (sorry Andrew Turner) we have at the moment.

  81. 81
    Norma Stitz says:

    I’m still very, very upset that poor Denis McSwine only got turkey and sausage at Xmas, and missed out on the half chicken. Poor fellow.

  82. 82

    Fred – why did you fuck up so much at RBS? And then have the nerve to come on this anti-banker site?

  83. 83

    Don’t fucking vote for them, then!
    Vote UKIP. It is very, very simple.
    Don’t vote for somebody and you don’t get them.

  84. 84
    Weybridgeman says:

    Finally! Thank God….and now for something completely different….Dead Ed freakign out!

  85. 85
    Baroness Warsi (Lords Trough) says:

    Another wanker lining himself up for the trough that is Westminster, or perhaps a way of getting dave out of his “cast iron” pledge to hold a referendum on the e.u.If boris is leader by 2017 all daves cast irons are gone, all wankers together.

  86. 86
    Baroness Warsi (Lords Trough) says:

    FFS are you for real, Westminster is a cesspit, getting rid of a few troughers from over the border wont change a thing.

  87. 87

    But he has to engineer a bye-Election well before the General Election to actually get into the House and replace Campitup so as to make a working arrangement, if any were possible, with Farage.
    We know someone will sell their safe seat for Ermine so as to provide Boris with the requisite degree of safety, but would Campitup stand down early? Bumsex Dave will certainly go into English History for all the worst reasons for him. A political abdication is not going to happen. And a political under-the-table deal isn’t going to happen either.

  88. 88
    Fred the pensioner says:

    Cato, Not me guv! I was far too poor at maths to be a banker.

  89. 89

    That’s not what his wife said!

  90. 90
    Baroness Warsi (Lords Trough) says:

    Its hurts when they stand on their principles. I should know.

  91. 91

    Yep. The photos show him picking his place on the slab with all the other dead fish.

  92. 92
    Anonymous says:

    Is there a vacancy at Bertram Mills Central?

  93. 93 says:

    Don’t be like that, Black Jack is our friend, he was always generous with PIE.

  94. 94
    cured lefty says:

    You mean witless shite!

  95. 95
    Fishcake says:

    Vote Salmon.

  96. 96
    Tel E Caster says:

    If only.

  97. 97
    Tel E Caster says:

    If you say so.

  98. 98
    Mycroft says:

    Great news that Boris plans to stand at next year’s general election – I’ve always said I want my star players on the pitch.—
    David Cameron (@David_Cameron)

    Yes! We all know how ‘useful’ Rooney has been in the past.


  99. 99
    Mycroft says:

    Don’t be daft.

  100. 100
    Mycroft says:

    Outside of London he’s a joke, but he’ll do well, because the mask he wears is a good one and very tight-fitting.

    Un-masking him is possible and I think we at UKIP won’t bother, he’s a grenade in the shed and that will only do good for UKIP overall.

    Divide and rule is the name of the game as far as Borgia Boris is concerned, he’ll trip, we’ll kick him when he’s down.

    L8erz Borgia-boy.

  101. 101
    Taxfodder says:

    You could not make it up…..

    In the blue corner Bonking Boris the establishment great white Tory hope….another day another media fall guy, send in the clowns set them up Joe…..every time a winner!

    Dave Cameron the lightweight over levered amateur soon to be seen throwing in the towel, rescued by a nice little UK pension a few lucrative directorships, and a short lived round of “how I done it” guest talks.

    Meanwhile Millipeed on course to wipe the floor clean next GE, nothing to stop him he must be loving it…..CCHQ still in a blue funk living in their fantasy world of blue…

    Popcorn on order….

  102. 102
    Mycroft says:

    That means you’re perfect for the role of Chancellor in Doris Johnsons new Cabinet.

  103. 103
    stushie says:

    Well, he is a lethal weapon .He slaughtered the Senate Committee when they were stupid enough to take him on.

  104. 104
    stushie says:

    The prat is beholden to to his hidden constituency Who would’ve thunk it?

  105. 105
    Long John Silver' s parrot says:

    Well that is as clear as mud.

  106. 106


    I vw always saud I want my star players on the pitch —- especually as we haven t won anything since 1992 !!!

  107. 107

    That s coz George now works for RUSSIA TODAY on a programme called “Sputnik” and is probably in orbit as we speak.

  108. 108

    Not the cast ” Iron Hoofs ” though — they ll still be around in numbers.

  109. 109


    Yo Camomile … you still asleep ?

  110. 110

    He could manage Henley on Thames . Convenient for Cotswold weekends .
    And he knows the “manor”

  111. 111


    ” I will STAND ! ”

    instead of hanging by my crotch from a parachute cable entangled in a tree like a used chocolate fireguard.

  112. 112

    Well would you ??!!

    Uxbridge ? Is nt that the very noisy place in N W London near that dreadful Chiswick Flyover ?

    Not Boris’s glass of Black Velvet at all….

    ( moddy –Black Velvet is the designated official name for Guiness and Champagne before you ask !!)

  113. 113

    I thought he was Turkish not Italian (?)

  114. 114
    Anonymous says:

    But this is the celeb status politics today.
    Look at the comments over Milliband and what he looks like. Not what he says but people comment on how he looks like Wallace and grommet. Brain dead rules ok.
    Farage is seen as man of the people. but he too has never done a days work in his life and comes out of the financial sector.
    Barmy Boris is just what the Tories need. Another anti Europe numpty. Quick quote man with little substance.
    This is politics for the lazy.

  115. 115
    FPTP 'Local' MP says:

    So will Boris stand where he’s from? Or will he exhibit the worst of the FPTP ‘Local MP’ system and be parachuted into a lame dick Conservative barracks that cannot even grow their own shit? The mind ponders…

  116. 116
    Conservative Member says:

    Was that back in the heady-day’s when I won a bottle of Scotch in the raffle?

  117. 117
    Keep your southern shite where it belongs-darn South says:

    Err, I think my fellow brethren can grow their own state-funded ‘independent’ farmers and such like. If they’ve not got a wind farm on their land, they’ve certainly got some state funding behind their money. Fkin’ tramps in Land Rovers.

  118. 118
    English Nationalist As Well As A Replican says:

    I’m here to shit all over all your Holiday’s. You’ve ignored us, you left us bereft by Westminster spending…Guess what? You fk’in traitor, I’ve not forgotten what you’ve done. Now go and run away to your precious Queen. Worth £200million+, yet it warrants your pity. You Fk’in fool.

  119. 119
    Pro Lee Tariat says:

    Yes please Boris. Never mind all the nings on here.

  120. 120
    Anonymous says:

    Pass the sickbag Alice.

    What would the Boys from Auchtermuchty make of this?

    Cameron tanked again.

    Three strikes and your out?

    This is at least the fourth crushing defeat.

    Frankie Boyle describes Boris as a ” Bouncy Castle with Altzheimers ”

    Couldn’t have put it better myself.

Seen Elsewhere

“Adjustments” Not Cuts | Gary Gibbon
British Minister in Watch Gaffe | Straits Times
New Tory, New Danger | Laura Perrins
UKIP Could Work With Dave If Price is Right | Douglas Carswell
Cops Catch Crims With B.O. Test | Techno Guido
Bashir’s “False Account” to His Own Lawyers | Times
Injustice of Tax Avoidance Hysteria | City AM
The New Puritans | Alex Wickham
UKIP on 23% With Survation | Mirror
UKIP Could Deal With Dave | Douglas Carswell
Tories Would Lower Benefit Cap | Telegraph

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