August 1st, 2014

Ed’s Cousin: Miliband Family’s Comedy Genius

Meet Dr Mike Keen, an impressively moustachioed former police surgeon and GP who lives in Watford. He also happens to be the son of Ralph Miliband’s sister Anna, making him Ed Miliband’s cousin.

Here he is in an old family snap with the future Labour leader:

It turns out Mike got all the family’s funny genes. Judging by his Facebook, Ed’s cousin is a bit of a comedy genius with a penchant for un-PC jokes. Guido thinks he deserves a wider audience:

Guess we now know who keeps everyone entertained at family reunions…


  1. 1
    Spartacus says:

    Is this the Caption Competition?


  2. 3
    Django says:

    I wonder if he votes Labour?


  3. 4
    Yew Tree says:

    nonce alert


  4. 5
    Anonymous says:

    He looks like David Axelrod.


  5. 6
    Hadley "Screaming Banshee" Freeman says:

    He is joking about male violence against women. THOUGHT CRIMINAL.

    Trigger warning. Calling Jessica Valenti.

    Privileged white male joking about violence. R4pe cutlure. Patriarchy keeping me down.

    Reported. Expect arrests.



    • 106
      The Growler says:

      If you had been a police surgeon, you would have developed a the bante similar to Mike’s or you would have been driven by mad the nasties you would have seen in your work.


  6. 7
    Ho,ho.ho. says:

    A normal member of the Miliband clan – whatever next?


  7. 8
    5 foot Poll says:

    What the fuck has this got to do with anything?

    Leave the guy alone.

    Liked by 1 person

    • 11
      FrankFisher says:

      No one’s having a pop are they? I like the trainer gag…


    • 13
      concrete pump says:

      It’s called kudos you plum..!


      • 95
        Peter Cook says:

        Agreed – the guy’s a legend. If laughter is the best medicine then give Dr Mike Keen the Nobel Prize!


        • 160
          Anonymous says:

          Here’s one.

          How do you get a man to change a light bulb?

          Answer: You get him to go to the light bulb shop first.

          How do you get a woman to change a light bulb?

          Answer: You get the man to go to the light bulb shop then he gives the
          woman the light bulb to put in …………………..

          Needs some work.

          He’s as funny as a lanced boil.


    • 117
      Winston says:

      Guido’s pathetic attacks on the Miliband, and now his family, are counter productive. We all know he’s getting his instructions from Tory CO, so it just reads as Tory dirty tricks and personal attacks.


      • 127
        EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

        Funny that – i only mentioned Mel Brooks last night and this blog pops up!!!


  8. 9
    Selfinflicted says:

    Comic genius! He’d get my vote


    • 79
      Norm Normal says:

      Why isn’t this guy on TV to replace some of those BBC ‘comedians’ who haven’t made anyone laugh in years.


    • 80
      Anonymous says:

      Just goes to show, real people do real jobs.

      Weirdos like Ed do weird jobs – PR, bloggers, politics


    • 108
      The Growler says:

      It’s a pity the days of the Northern clubs are over, he would be making a fortune.


      • 149
        mandyUNO says:

        Him and Bernard Manning – what a double act for the Northern Clubs – Labour’s Heartlands.


  9. 12
    Incontinental drify says:

    I just wet myself laughing.


  10. 14
    Anonymous says:

    What a non-story.


  11. 15
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    Get him on Question Time (no not Ed, Mike). :-)


  12. 17
    Perse O'Nalley says:

    Heard most of them before. He’s just nicking them.


    • 23
      Vote Tory, get unlimited immigration says:

      The bartender one was quite funny, if predictable.


      • 62
        Mike Handycock, Jimmy Savile, Max Clifford and Stuart Hall says:

        We liked the one about schoolgirl babysitter handcuffed to the bed


  13. 18
    Shooty* says:

    Sounds like a cool guy.

    Sadly, count the seconds to the outrage bus starting up, the deleted posts, the apology for using FB like a normal person and, depending on how Full-On-Leftie Ed is feeling, possibly the full David Kelly treatment…


  14. 19
    green blob says:

    1st of August – the silly season’s started.


  15. 20
    Slow News Day says:

    AKA Scraping the barrel


  16. 21
    Health & Safety says:

    What kind of dolt puts ornaments on their staircase?


  17. 26

    Quite funny.

    Haven’t seen the bar joke in a while. G’old.

    Vote UKIP :-D


  18. 30
    Skippy says:

    Finger on my trainer… Coffee everywhere!


  19. 40
    Mycroft says:

    So spaccer-ed and Bobby Ball are related!?!?!


  20. 44
    Frank says:

    A they are funny
    B don’t judge others by their skin colour or their relatives.


  21. 46
    Holly says:

    Comedy genius.


  22. 47
    Fred says:

    A normal Miliband. Ed must be infuriated.


  23. 48
    Edinburgh Fringe says:

    Eds up here till sept 18th,Mike


  24. 50
    Pastimes says:

    1st of August. Happy “Yorkshire Day” to all in the Broad Acres (excluding Saviletown and Heaton/Manningham, obviously, where Ed is celebrated, unlike Donny where Eid prevails)


  25. 55
    The Establishment Rules OK says:

    Here’s some Ed jokes for Dr. Mike:

    . Ed’s parents didn’t like him as a child. His bath toy was a toaster.

    . I’m not saying Ed is ugly, but when he was born the doctor slapped his mother.

    .When Ed’s father wanted sex, his mother would show him a picture of Ed.

    . When Ed played in the sandbox the cat kept covering him up.

    . Ed’s wife only has sex with him for a purpose. Last night she used him to time an egg.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. 56
    Jeremy Hardy says:

    He’s about a million times funnier than me!


  27. 59
    Snake Oil Dave & Barry O'Bummer says:

    Another ceasefire anyone?


  28. 60

    Andy Slaughter MP isn’t exactly living on the ‘bread line':


  29. 61
    Localtard says:

    So Ed *does* share some human genes, after all!


  30. 63
    VoteEdGetBalls says:

    Wow, this chap is brilliant. Where to begin?

    The video he posted on vaginal knitting (28 July) is quite a good place…


  31. 64
    David Cameron says:

    My values are J e w i s h values


    • 84
      Norm Normal says:

      Well you wouldn’t find me voting for or shaking hands with anyone who has I s l a m i c J i h a d values, you never know when they are going to spontaneously explode, kidnap someone or hijack your flight.


  32. 65
    British Labour Broadcasting Corporation Employee says:

    If a Tory Or Ukipper posted like that on their pratbook/twatter accounts there would be such a massive storm of outrage that we’d be able to run anti-rightwing headlines for a week.


  33. 67
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    Political Protests in Bristol.
    P is for Pal est ine.
    R is for Residents Parking.


  34. 68
    Dr Gordon Brown MP says:

    Where can I get some strobe lights ?

    Matron !


  35. 69
    It's The Way I Tell 'Em! says:

    So the liquor salesman, first day on his route, goes into “Mickey Monaghan’s Pub,” where he sees an Orthodox Joo cleaning up the place, getting it ready to open up. He asks to see Monaghan, the landlord.
    “Speaking,” says the Joo.
    “You must not have heard me correctly– I was asking for the landlord, Monaghan…”
    “SCHMENDRIK! I told you, I’M Monaghan!”
    They conduct their business, and as he’s leaving, the salesman says, “Not being a Nosy Parker here, but– how does a bloke like you come to have a name like ‘Mickey Monaghan’?”
    “Nu? Would YOU dr!nk at a boozer named ‘Moshe Mandelbaum’s’?”


  36. 71
    Crap actor talks crap says:

    It’s a wingnut loon!


    • 73
      Crap actor talks crap says:

      The crowd applaud Cameron too.


    • 139

      “Lock” of years since Midnight Cowboy Jon .

      The only film I ever paid to see TWICE.
      Still the years have treated you kindly .
      You still look the part and you are the proud father of at least one gorgeous and successful daughter –Mrs Brad Pitt !

      How s your old mucker Dustin ( Ratzo Rizzo) Hoffman making out ?


  37. 72

    The quality of propaganda is being strained…

    What credible news source would use ‘Sheeple’ ? Really…

    Vote UKIP :-D

    Liked by 1 person

  38. 74
    DK says:

    When are the BBC going to interview Hamas instead of some z list tory about IDF? FFS!!


  39. 85
    Dee says:

    So he was a police surgeon? As a woman, those attitudes are of no surprise. Nothing has changed much since his day, either.


  40. 93
    Eadon says:

    Labour should hire this guy as Leader, those are laugh-out funny jokes!


  41. 94
    Dr Mike Keen says:

    Thanks, Eadon, I have absolutely no political aspirations, I leave that to my cousins!


  42. 96
    Dr Mike Keen says:

    Only the biting sarcasm and irony is mine….all else is nicked.
    To whom it may concern……i was actually a very sensitive Police Surgeon especially when it came to interacting with, and the obtaining of forensic samples from raped women and men… don’t make assumptions based on a quirky sense of humour and a total lack of knowledge about the being behind
    that sense of humour. Black humour is one way of surviving huge emotional trauma which I and my Police colleagues endured on a repetitive basis without recourse to counselling to offload the nightmarish scenarios we faced…..just sayin………so don’t judge a book by its cover….also nicked but appropriate!

    Liked by 1 person

    • 104
      Jesus says:

      Don’t worry, the only assumption being made is that you’re a top bloke who actually contributes a great deal to society.

      We also like the moustache.

      Liked by 1 person

      • 121

        The moustache IS mine…..are there any pogonophobics out there as well….God forbid you should be ochlophobic as wel!!


        • 155
          A doctor writes says:

          Hats off to you, if it really is you!

          And I agree that off colour humour is a very useful defence me hanism in many professions. It doesn’t always travel well outside though!


    • 114
      Eadon says:

      It’s really sad day when we blokes feel compelled to justify cracking an off-colour joke or two. If you crack a joke, never apologise. If the kill-joys can’t deal with it, that’s their problem! The greatest source of misery is are not jokes, but the cold hand of political correctness. If one cannot laugh, then what’s the point?


    • 118
      'Dr' Mike Handcock says:

      Dear Dr Mike Keen,
      I am very misunderstood, too.


    • 122
      widescreen2010 says:

      If that really is you – well done, sir!
      Even PCs are too PC these days…


  43. 101
    The Sun Still Shines says:



  44. 112
    The Ghost of Bernard Manning says:

    He’s nicked my entire repertoire ;-)


  45. 116
    Postal Votes are Labour Loo Paper says:

    The guy is a gem. Make him leader of liebor instead of the twat they have now.


  46. 119
    Dr Mike Keen says:

    As for the stairs…..they are not mine, the owls are not mine, the house is not mine….the family is mine! Would it really matter if they were, would it change your inaccurate assumptions about me…..your problem…owls….not mine you poor ochlophobic……maybe you’d like to talk about this irrational fear??


  47. 125
    Cristina Elisabet Fernández de Kirchner says:

    laugh … I nearly repaid all the outstanding bonds owed by Argentina


  48. 130
    Charlie says:

    Why are members of the Labour Party complaining about Ed as their leader. I am going to have to put with him for the rest of my life!


  49. 131
    Free the rolf one says:

    Actually there was some really good shit in that lot. May use it myself when I back on the stage.


  50. 137
    Baracco Barner says:

    Odd! The Miliband gene produces electable leaders and the Labour Party chooses the unelectable one.


  51. 142
    Escaped city boy says:

    I remember Mike from med school – good am-dram actor and top bloke.
    None of us is responsible for their in-laws so give him a break!
    (Good jokes by the way, Mike – thank you)


  52. 143
    Phucumall says:

    Can I book this guy for my Mums 95th birthday party


  53. 145

    Looks like he would not vote for his cousin


  54. 153
    Kim Novak says:

    Sorry Dr Keen, but they’ve all got whiskers on, though your banned for llife from the gym joke is merely an up-date of the ‘I’ve been banned from Tescos for life’ gag, about the guy who’s advised by his doctor to spice up his sex life by shagging his wife wherever the mood takes him.


    • 154
      Dr Mike Keen says:

      I’ve already ‘fessed up that they were all nicked….so don’t waste your time, already!


  55. 158

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