July 30th, 2014

The Worst Political Slogan Ever

Labour’s slogan for the summer really runs off the tongue:

“The Choice – The Labour future / The Tory threat”.

Of its eight words, three of them are “the”. Catchy.

Worse still, the party has now deleted a tweet plugging another new slogan to accompany Ed Balls’s speech on the economy:

“A choice between a Labour plan to make Britain better off and fairer for the future or more of the same from the same old Tories.”

Tough on punctuation, tough on the causes of punctuation. 

Could they have come up with anything clunkier than “make Britain better off and fairer”? It has a grand total of 2 ‘a’s, 3 ‘the’s, 2 ‘same’s, an ‘of’, an ‘off’, a ‘for’, a ‘to’ and a ‘from’. It is supposed to clarify “the choice” between Labour and the Tories, yet you have to read it three times before you can work out where the praise for Labour ends, and the criticism of the Tories begins. Britain can do better than this…


  1. 1
    Gerhard says:

    Ed Balls

  2. 2
    madasafish says:

    It’s the education system to blame..

  3. 3
    Drummond Base says:

    more of the same from the same old Tories

    Recovery, reform and results. Yes, I’ll have more of the same please.

  4. 4
    Anonymous says:

    Labour putting the taint back in Britain

  5. 5
    Ed Miliballs says:

  6. 6
    Rickytshirt says:

    One can’t articulate what hasn’t been conceived.

  7. 7
    Ed 'has no' Balls says:

  8. 8
    Sunny Jim says:

    Education Education Education worked so well, eh? Oh, wait…

  9. 9

    He really Ballsed that one up

  10. 10
    Sunny Jim says:

    Bloody right

  11. 11
    Ed 'has no' Balls says:

  12. 12
    Gary Bloke says:

    You know that things are dire when Guido thinks that your copy is a mess.

  13. 13
  14. 14
    Ed Miliband says:

    A choice between Labour and Ebola
    I appreciate you may need time to decide.

  15. 15
    Ohthisbloodypc says:

    Some have a way with words

    Others… words… have not way

  16. 16
    The Len McCluskey says:

    No you f*ck, it’s me and my comrades, we told ‘em. Oi Fawkes, nothing wrong with “The” …as in

  17. 17
    excon says:

    Total balls

  18. 18
    Ed Ballls says:


  19. 19
    thostids says:

    Is it me, or is the offer “the same” that Labour is offering but from the Tories?
    This could be a winner of the Truest political advert 2014.

  20. 20
    The Apostrophe Police says:

    “another new slogan to accompany Ed Balls’s speech on the economy”

    Oh, tears of joy! It’s taken 10 long f*cking years but you’ve finally got the possessive apostrophe right!

    Rejoice! There is a God!

  21. 21
    The Dear Leader's Labour Parteh says:

    We writes in human.

  22. 22
    The economy says:

    I choose Ebola because there’s a chance I’ll make a full recovery.

  23. 23
    Ellie-Mae (9) says:

    Meanwhile, the Express have a prime candidate for the salad diet, welcome one “Mr Eric Pickle”


  24. 24
    England is becummin a ferd world cess-pit, innit says:

    Breaking news from the Cobra meeting today!!

    ‘In order to counter the threat to public health posed by the ebola virus, all immigration from diseased ridden african shitoles is hereby suspended’

    End of Message

  25. 25
    Dan Hodges says:

    And that shit wasn’t even the full version

  26. 26
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    More Balls from Labour.

  27. 27
    Vote Tory, get unlimited immigration says:

    Results? Ermm…

    Britain’s debt has doubled. AAA credit rating lost. Immigration up to a record 532,000 last year. Universal Credit fiasco. Hospital waiting lists increasing. 2-week wait to see a GP..

  28. 28
    Anonymous says:

    Don’t forget more in work, 5 million more being treated in the NHS.

    How are One Nation, National Socialist Workers (Labour) Party going to do any better ? There slogan should be:

    A choice between a Labour failure to make Britain better off and fairer for the future or more of the same from the same old Tories who succeeded at this.”

  29. 29
    Gurner says:

    Putting Ed Balls on a poster is like Captain Schettino fronting a maritime safety campaign.

  30. 30
    BBC says:

    This Tory led recovery must not be allowed to continue!

  31. 31
    I hate Yvette Cooper says:

    Another reason not to vote for Ed Balls: His equally smug, arrogant, oblivious b**ch wife, Yvette Cooper.

  32. 32
    England is becummin a ferd world cess-pit, innit says:

    To be fairto the MarxistLabour parteh though, a lot of the vermin wot votes labour have never come across the concept of punctuation have they

    These filth barely know where to put a cross on their sundry benefits claims, when the claim has been read to them.

  33. 33
    Diana Abbott says:

    Wot im be talkin fairer he mean more white or sumting?

  34. 34
    LIE-bour says:

  35. 35
    Labour = Waste says:

    Most of that’s down to Labour’s mess. It was Labour that caused the deficit.

    No amount of stooge posting from leftist Labour loons can hide this.

  36. 36
    Ebola breaks out in Westminster: public expresses delight says:

    I’d go with Ebola. If it kills 90% of its victims and it ravages the UK, Britain could end up with only 6.3 million inhabitants.

    No more traffic jams!

  37. 37
    England is becummin a ferd world cess-pit, innit says:

    Quite right you dirty cu’nt

  38. 38
    Jack the Ripper says:

    Vote Labour for owls.

  39. 39
    Johan MacTerminator says:

    So if Labour don’t win, who’s legs will they break?

  40. 40
    Anonymous says:

    rats or twats

  41. 41
    Ellie-Mae (9) says:

    Yeah Eds got some stiff competition for September……


  42. 42
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    What is the Labour plan Ed, can somebody enlighten me? (obviously not you).

  43. 43
    Lax Mifford says:

    Labour – All ah has willed it!

  44. 44
    Ebola breaks out in Westminster: public expresses delight says:

    Is that strictly true? I thought the knowledge of where to put the cross on their benefit forms was passed down from father to son over many generations. A proud ritual – a rite of passage, if you will – in all good Labour-voting communitehs.

    Some say it could even be programmed into a Labour supporter’s DNA as a form of genetic memory. Let’s face it, judging by the average Labour supporter’s mong-like appearance there’s f*ck-all else programmed into their DNA.

  45. 45
    Tower Hamlets Printing Inc. says:

    But to be absolutely sure, we be getting the ballot papers ready.

  46. 46
    The Hand-wringing wailing Graouniad / Biased Bullshit Corpse says:

    Civilisation as we know it will be destroyed unless we have Goordo back, the Muzzos in control, and Eddy babe as our financial watchdog!!

    WAIL! MOAN! etc.,

    Pass the Bolly darrrhhhlings do !!!!!

  47. 47
    The Ghost Of Tory Defeats Past says:

    Worst ever? You forgot about “Are you thinking what we’re thinking?”

    Surely whoever came up with that heap of shot has never worked again.

  48. 48
    Conny Sewer of these things says:

    Cannot imaging what grilled Coooper might be like – bit bony for me – like a never-ending bucket of chicken wings.

    Does any bit of her taste good?

  49. 49
    Gary Elsby says:

    Really Dave?

    Stoke on Trent has forwarded a HS2 plan that stops at Stoke without churning up green fields and saves the Chancellor £2 Billion in the process.

    A no brainer

    Over to you Dave.

  50. 50
    BBC (Balls Broadcasting Corporation): says:

    Ed Balls’ Voting Record: ‘TheyWorkForYou website’.

    Voted for equal gay rights.

    Voted for allowing marriage between two people of same sex.

    Voted against an investigation into the Iraq war.

    Voted for more EU integration.

    Voted against a referendum on the UK’s membership of the EU.

    Voted against a reduction in spending on welfare benefits.

    Voted against raising the threshold (personal allowance) at which people start to pay income tax

    Voted against higher taxes on plane tickets (to cash in Britons going on holiday).

    Voted for a banker’s bonus tax (so Labour can waste more money on themselves and useless projects).

    Voted against reducing the rate of corporation (for small/medium size businesses).

    Voted against measures to reduce tax avoidance.

    Voted against reforming the NHS so GPs buy services on behalf of their patients.

    Voted against greater autonomy for schools (so schools can stay under complete control by Bureacrats & Trade Unions).

    Voted against academy schools.

    Voted against a transparent Parliament.

    Voted against fewer MPs in the House of Commons.

    Voted against an equal number of electors per parliamentary constituency.

    Voted for introducing ID cards.

    Voted against capping civil service redundancy payments.

    Voted for measures to prevent climate change.

    (1) Ed Balls and Yvette Cooper ‘flipped’ homes three times: MPs’ expenses (The Telegraph, 15 May 2009):

    “Ed Balls and Yvette Cooper, the husband and wife Cabinet ministers, “flipped” the designation of their second home to three different properties within the space of two years”.

    (2) Ed Balls and Yvette Cooper face probe after claiming more than £14,000 travel expenses for their children (Daily Mail, 7 March 2011).

  51. 51
    M'Lud Prezza after a full luncheon in the canteen says:

    There’s me thinking it was wind!

  52. 52
    Huh says:

    perhaps labour are deliberately trying to lose the election ?

  53. 53
    Ed Ballls says:


  54. 54
    Death Tax Labour says:

    Is this why they wish to promote ‘assisted deaths’?
    Cash in early?

  55. 55
    Axelrod says:

    No Miliband originally said it and we had to clean it up. It went like this:

    “Friendth, a,a,a human righth to ,to, ch,ch,chooth bethween a Labour plan not jutht to make Bwitain better off, but betterwer off! Andth, andth fairer too for the future more or leth, andth lethh of the thame fromth the thame oldth Torieth.”

    We think we know what he means….

  56. 56
    Winston says:

    Its all a sham. There are no material differences between LibLabCon. Vote UKIP for an alternative

  57. 57
    Jack Ketch says:

    A small Ebola outbreak in certain London suburbs may radically change attitudes to immigration. Anyone old enough to remember all those inoculation cards we used to have to carry around? They seemed to work.

  58. 58

    Nick Clegg’s response to Israel defending itself from many hundreds of rocket attacks, all directed from Gaza, appears to be deliberately disproportionate.

    Is he not supposed to be part Dutch? Didn’t they lose a life or two in some plane malfunction, recently?

    Vote UKIP :-D

  59. 59
    Nick Clegg says:

    Yes, but an EU sinecure awaits.

  60. 60
    bergen says:

    That strikes me as a slogan devised by a committee.

  61. 61
    Dis Lexic says:

    Sounds fair enough to me.

  62. 62

    Insecure would be better. :-)

    Vote UKIP and remove Clegg’s passport! :-D

  63. 63
    DK says:

    Is that Labour or Ebolabour?

  64. 64
    Fishy says:

    Perhaps a better slogan would be, ‘No going back’ (To Balls, Miliband, Burnham)

    BTW: The BBC seems to be responding to Labour’s slide in the opinion polls by pulling out all of the stops this week. So far set piece (actually puff piece) interviews this week (without opposing contributions) with;

    Cooper (Immigration)
    Balls (Economy)
    Burnham (Health)

  65. 65
    Labour HQ says:

    The copyrighting was funded by the Bankers Bonus Tax.

  66. 66
    Squeaker Bercow says:

    20 percent of Little People have trouble reaching their genitals with their own hands.

  67. 67
    A blind bloke says:

    I would

  68. 68
    non taxable pikey says:

    Regarding the Universal Credit fiasco, there are currently 415,000 foreign nationals in the UK receiving Universal Credit. Fiasco doesn’t even come near.

  69. 69
    Anonymous says:

    It isn’t a choice, voting Labour brought 13 years of mass enrichment which in turn will bring Islam, Ebola and poverty.

  70. 70
    non taxable pikey says:

    Plus Butcher Burnham in charge of the NHS!!!

  71. 71
    Vote Dave? Get stuffed says:

    Labour want an outbreak of Ebola in England if they get elected so more people will pay their death tax.

  72. 72
    Anonymous says:

    Back to the good old days of Brown-Balls -Mandelson-and Wallace came too.

  73. 73
    Gaw D'Elpous says:

    Will someone please translate this from Owlspeak to comprehensible English.
    “The Choice – The Labour future / The Tory threat”.
    Do Labour anticipate they will receive more or less votes from this giberish.

  74. 74
    TJ says:

    Labour: Tough on jobs, tough on the causes of jobs.

  75. 75
    John Prescott says:

    “Vote for Better Vision in Britain: a choice between a Primark Distribution or Tory Spec Savers”

  76. 76
    Anonymous says:
  77. 77

    Putin has fucked up big time.

    But he can’t afford to admit it.

  78. 78
    Ah! confused says:

    Agree with Ed balls? Retweet>

    Err why the lower case b for Balls?

  79. 79
    small minds also think alike says:

    And the connection is ?

  80. 80
    Anonymous says:


  81. 81

    …in plain sight.

    Vote UKIP :-D

  82. 82
    Holly says:

    The moron missed out the bit about ‘more of the same’, from ‘the same old Tories’, who have to clean up, the ‘stinking pile of fudge’, Labour always leave when the public boot them out of office.

  83. 83
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    A car crash personified.

  84. 84

    Can you imagine him in charge of a BUK SA11 rocket launcher?

    Vote UKIP and DUCK :-D

  85. 85

    Were you alleging a spin component on the last page? :-)

    Vote UKIP :-D

  86. 86
    anon says:


  87. 87
    Camel says:

    They made a better job of me.

  88. 88

    The clue is in that little linky-link where it says fucked up.

    What’s the weather like in Moscow today?


    Vote UKIP :-D

  89. 89
    Anonymous says:

    He’s due in court next Tuesday.

  90. 90
    Eye watcher says:

    The ‘eye’ certainly has it on this thread.

  91. 91
    anon says:

    Hot! Spacibo!

  92. 92
    Denise Pennis says:

    Fairer and better? My hairy Balls. The party is full of weirdos and thickos. Fact!

    The One Dumb Nation Labour Party does not have One bright idea between them. It is all State Intervention paid for by increasing taxes.

    Fuck off and do one Labour Scum!

  93. 93
    Happy Families says:

    Victoria Atkins wins Louth and Horncastle, Lincolnshire selection for Cons ppc . She isn’t a local, but is the daughter of a former MP and MEP, Sir Robert Atkins.

  94. 94
    Spotta says:

    The choice is only between a Labour “plan” and the bumsex Tories.

    They are not even promising that they will actual *do* something, just that they have a “plan”.

  95. 95
    Wun Hung Lo says:

    5 million more IMMIGRANTS being treated in the NHS

  96. 96
    The Bottle Fed Triplet says:

    Ed Balls got a going over from John Humphrys this morning on the Today programme and Balls came across as a bloke avoiding the question. He would not give a straight answer. Who would trust him apart from a completely indoctrinated Labour supporter?

  97. 97
    Bodacious says:

    Dude, like what hasn’t been?

  98. 98
    Dangerous Brian says:

    Please dont forget, they also both claimed the full £400 per month food allowance for a considerable period of time, no wonder the useless sh*thouse is such a fat tw*t.

  99. 99
    Balls Ed says:


  100. 100
    Fishy says:

    She’s an excellent choice. A VERY bright lady.

    It’s Labour that select wimmin for wimmin’s sake. Just look at the losers on their front bench.

  101. 101
    fhip says:

    Spot on.
    How the former chancellor’s chief adviser, who very nearly destroyed this country, has the fxxking cheek to even use the “make Britain fairer” slogan after the total shite pile he and Labour were instrumental in leaving our economy in takes my breath away. I can only believe that he thinks that we are so bloody thick that we have forgotten in a few short years just how badly Labour let the country down and how long it will take to pay off Labour’s bills. We are talking decades and that cnut and his ilk carry on like nothing happened.

  102. 102
    Just Asking says:

    Plans of mice and men come to mind.
    When it comes to action it is difficult to thing of anything effective Balls and Miliband did during their 13 years in power.
    As for the same and same old, I think the Shadow front bench far better fits this bill than the Conservatives do.
    Obviously English and coming up with a gripping catchphrase are not Ed Ballsup’s strengths, but this simply begs the question what on earth is?

  103. 103
    New Balls Please says:

    Balls Up last time, A Bigger Balls Up Next Time, Vote Balls Up for the same old Balls.

  104. 104
    The British Liebore Party. says:

    Hypocrisy is what we do best.
    Feathering our own nest comes a close second.
    Telling people what to do while we do the opposite is about third.

  105. 105
    The British Liebore Party. says:

    Tip of the iceberg.

  106. 106
    Happy Families says:

    The post is not a sexist comment, but alludes to the two facts that Westminster continues to appeal to descendants and relatives of previous occupants and whether or not they have any connection with an area they seek to, or do, represent.

  107. 107
    Anonymous says:

    Yep , Putin has fuck up , now every Tom dick & nutjob is gonna look for commercial airliner flight paths around the world to shoot at , including Russian .

  108. 108
    Anonymous says:

    Tough on education, touch on the causes of education

  109. 109
    The Grim Reaper says:

    Many thanks.

  110. 110
    The Brain Drain says:

    I have a brilliant idea. We will get Alec Salmond to formulate the Labour Party Policy for the next election, and in return the Labour Party under Ed Balls will formulate Alec and Nicola’s comprehensive policies for an independent Scotland.
    A perfect lose-lose situation.

  111. 111
    JohnM says:

    No, it’s Edbalslabour. Symptoms;- Leaves a nasty taste in the mouth.

  112. 112
    Just Saying. says:

    Don’t forget Sbrenica

  113. 113
    Ed Balls Up says:

    I like it. It may need a little tweaking

  114. 114
    Big Momma says:

    Situation normal then.

  115. 115
    The Last Quango in Paris says:

    why don’t they call him the shadow chancellor? are they terrified we’ll link him to the economy?

  116. 116
    Kerry - Obama's Senior Bag Carrier says:

    Don’t worry I am on the case.
    After screwing up the Egyptian peace initiative by talking to Turkey and Libya and offering a totally dismissed “peace offer. (New Israeli record of 14 negatives out of 14), I am under orders to offer Putin a rescue plan.
    Our US foreign policy is working well in destabilizing the world.

  117. 117
    Man on a corner. says:

    He relied on the old canard “in hindsight we should have been tougher on the banks”
    At least Humphrys laughed at his weak answers, which he has been loath to do in the past.

  118. 118
    Stu says:

    He does a great line in screwing the economy.

  119. 119
    Fishy says:

    Irrespective of who her father is, she is still an excellent choice. A very forensic mind.

  120. 120
    Fishy says:

    Same old Labour, same old Balls

  121. 121
    RWG says:

    New evidence suggest MH was brought down by 2 Ukraine fighters.

    Funny how 2 Ukraine fighters got offed not long after….

  122. 122
    Sir Barrington Minge says:

    Should that not read” EBallsa”?

  123. 123
    Anonymous says:

    He could have at least have combed his hair for his photo.

  124. 124

    Reblogged this on wheelsofpoliticalsteel and commented:
    I do believe that this slogan shows that after 13 years of Labour’s famous “Education, education, education” scheme, that it did actually fail in spectacular fashion. All of those unpaid interns (aged about 21) hoping to get their CV’s bolstered ready to become SPAD’s, are most likely to have come up with this unpunctuated slogan, have little if any, idea about the use of punctuation.

  125. 125
    Just checking says:

    You do mean while he’s out of the UK, don’t you ?

  126. 126
    Ed Balls says:

    I like having a go on the dodgems – so what ?

  127. 127
    Shirley Williams says:

    Labour definitely need a more appropriate slogan – how about “Dumbification, dumbification, dumbification” ?

  128. 128
    Ed Balls does nothing but complain and this interview FLATLINES his credibility says:

  129. 129
    Ed Balls does nothing but complain and this interview FLATLINES his credibility says:

  130. 130
    Ed Balls has no credibility says:

    Sorry wrong Youtube clip (above), here’s the real clip below:

  131. 131
    koba says:

    How can balls claim that Britain would be better off with them when they have bankrupted the country 3 times, increased taxes and ruined private pensions. Labour should be banned from holding office, full stop.

  132. 132
    Badvok says:

    It’s funny (actually probably not) but when I’ve passed through Hong Kong and Kuala Lumpa airports (KL many times), and there has been a reported outbreak of aviain flu or somesuch, they point thermometers at you, if you have a temperature, you don’t pass. What I’ve heard all day is that we couldn’t possibly take temperatures here in the UK, it would take too long. Quite rightly the Chinese, and Malaysians couldn’t give a toss about accusations of racism. This is why we have TB once again, with a lot more to come. This country is well and truly sunk. Run while you can.

  133. 133
    The Critic says:

    Labour will give us the financial and political equivalent of Ebola. Like the virus, there is no cure and the effects are terminal.

    Balls is just one more microbe.

  134. 134
    A labour voter says:

    whoever wrote that slogan needs to be beaten with a GCSE english revision book.

  135. 135
    Ed Balls says:

    Ed Balls

  136. 136
    Anonymous says:

    “The Worst Political Slogan Ever”
    Was it Barack’s banned election blinder, unwittingly drawing unwanted attention to the American empire’s increasingly precipitous financial decline: You Know It Makes Cents.
    How about the potential political winner: You already have too much republic in place of democracy. Only Tories want to give you more of that.

  137. 137
    Bob cuntface Crow{Malaga} says:

    I have,weather is great ,bins emptied every day,can smoke in bars and get to look at fit Spanish tarts all day on the beach.

  138. 138

    Reblogged this on Benedict Pringle and commented:
    Guido has caught the Labour Party communicating using the most cringe-worthy political clichés and vacuous rhetoric. Guido’s analysis of Labour’s recent copy-writing is very amusing indeed.

  139. 139
    I'm actually ejaculating as you read this message says:

    Vote Labour? Get Fucked!

  140. 140
    I'm actually ejaculating as you read this message says:


  141. 141
    Labour Mong says:


  142. 142
    Labour Mong says:

    We support this policy to save our core vote

  143. 143
    Anonymous says:

    Just a few slogans if I may:

    UKIP: Forward to a better past.

    Pre-loved Labour : I’m Ed, Trust me – because my party doesn’t

    Conservatives: Some of my best friends are gay – but virulently anti Euorpean

    Lib Dems – SOMEONE HELP US !!!

    Scot Nats ( if they are still around?) My other sporran is a Mcferrari.

    I hope all parties take thesE slogans on board.

    Sacci and Sugari (PR)

  144. 144
    Anonymous says:


    Like you I think Cuba’s great these days since Raul took over.

    Car boot sales on this Saturday. havan Car park.

    Unless your just living in Benidorm?

  145. 145
    Anonymous says:

    Like the big ignorant racist tha you and many on here are I’m glad your not my doctor.

    The Ebola virus is spread through intimate contact with another human being.

    You’ve no chance of that happening to you. So don’t worry.

    Then again there might be some Peruvians who blame you and Europeans for wiping out their ancient culture?

    Or perhaps the Africans might blame you for not having the money for a Health Service.

    Come to think of it that’s our fate if we carry on blaming the wrong people.

    Enjoy your austerity.

  146. 146
    Anonymous says:


    And 5.1 million more immigrants working in the NHS.


  147. 147
    Anonymous says:

    Well. As lady I like a man who can make me think about issues policies and the future implementation of such.

    But because we ladies have the right to change our minds – the Lady’s perogative – I did once fall in love with John Prescott the man. Once he opened his mouth at a Labour conference in the Blair years and started
    speaking drivel ” The Gavurmunt ” etc etc then I fell out of love with him.

    Next I aimed my ardour at Big Beast Gordon with his brooding Scottish looks and his Scottish non uniform teeth. Yet again sad to say when he became Prime Minister the teeth had changed and he looked totally different with his rictus grin and well groomed appearance. Also as everybody says on here he was solely reponsible for the whole world falling into a deep depression as well as my own great depression.

    Least said – soonest mended though and I am now firmly in the ladies camp of the caring nurturing female. Ed ( gorgeous Ed – Milliband not Balls)
    has taken my heart like a mother who has discovered that her son has to sit at the front of the class near the teacher to avoid the school bullies.

    He’s vulnerable and needs my attention and guidance ( particularly when holding up a copy of the Sun without due care and attention ) during the up coming election campaign.

    I hope he wins as this may boost his confidence levels no end. Especially when that Toff Tory fat face Cameron refuses to answer his questions.

    Sorry to be a name caller but that’s what mothering love is all about.

    Wanda Inghands ( Slough)

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