July 23rd, 2014

Former Crosby Deputy Lands SpAd Role

Former lobbyist Chris Wilkins has been hired as Nicky Morgan’s SpAd, after she hid in her office as Gove’s old spinners were booted out. According to Wilkins’ old employers, Populus:

“Chris started life as policy adviser and speech writer at Conservative Central Office for successive Conservative Leaders (2000-05) and other senior Conservatives including David Davis, Andrew Lansley and Theresa May. During the 2005 election campaign he served as Head of Brand and Advertising”

He was also claims – though no one seems to remember him – to have been the Assistant Campaign Director to one Lynton Crosby in the 2005 election. Whatever happened to that guy?


  1. 1
    Hello? says:

    Quiet as the grave in here.


    • 15
      The grave says:

      Cold too.


    • 17
      David Cameron says:

      I’m going to cut off our nose to spite our save face.


    • 20
      One votes UKIP says:

      Tories and Labour are legacy p@edo parties.

      Don’t vote for either.


    • 27
    • 31



      • 49

        Shades of the French in ’82 selling Exocets to the Argies so they could blow us up during the Falklands escapade.

        Mind you are nt the French at it again — refusing to cancel aircraft carriers on order for Russia –or is that us ??


        • 58
          Bill Quango MP says:

          They didn’t sell them though.
          Not for any sense of our well being.

          In the midst of the conflict Peru ordered 8 Exocet missiles. The French believed they were destined for Argentina. British intelligence knew they were to be routed via Libya to Argentina.

          British officials telephoned French officials who shrugged and said there was nothing they could do.

          Prime Minister a Thatcher then telephoned president Mitterand directly and demanded a halt to missile shipments.
          He gave no firm commitment.

          But French security officers briefed their president that if the merchant ship containing the missiles sailed, they expected that the British would sink it before it could arrive, whatever flag it was sailing under.

          On 29 May New York Times reported that the French missile delivery had been delayed due to “technical difficulties.”

          They were never delivered.

          Few doubted, even in 1982, that when Iron Lady said she would sink that ship, she meant it.


    • 48
      Meanwhile as Ed searches America for Obama, Obama is in Britain talking to stools says:


  2. 2
    Gary Bloke says:

    Populus, his former employer, says: “Chris started life as [a] policy adviser and speech writer at Conservative Central Office”. This is very unusual. Most people start life as a baby.


    • 50

      You started life as a baby did you ?

      Most people start life as a courageous lone spermatozoa which has ventured past the cervix and up the ovarian channel .

      Obviously you were part of the cohort which are found fully formed in swaddling clothes and delivered by stork.


  3. 3
    English for Beginners says:

    “According to Wilkins’ old employers”



  4. 4
    The Growler says:

    ““Chris started life as policy adviser and speech writer at Conservative Central Office ………………….as Head of Brand and Advertising”” Yup, that was an extremely successful time for the Torwy Parteh, and then DC took charge.


  5. 5
    Dave Cameron knows how to burn money says:

    Yeah, thanks, Dave. Let your staff hire as many SpAds as they like.

    Seriously. I mean, we’re loaded. No problemo. We’ve got money coming out of our ears, the deficit’s gone and the debt’s way below what it was when you came to power.

    Tell you what, Dave: why not increase foreign aid by 28% in a year, while you’re at it. Throw a couple of extra billion at the EU, too. Splurge away, Dave.


    • 10
      David Cummerbund says:

      We only spent the money for Spads that we saved on pilgrims.
      No extra cost to you, you taxpayer type people.


    • 56

      I wish I was Norwegian .

      They ve got as much oil reserves for seven million idd population as we have fir 70 million idd ( yes we re both idd).

      Plus they ve got a 540 BILLION dollar sovereign wealth fund whise worldwide yearly investment returns pay fir all their generous oensions and cradke to grave welfare .

      Unlike us they ” husbanded ” their oil /gas good fortune and did not bfritter it on futile global conflicts trying to pmay at being a top five world power !!


      • 59

        sorry . post fled before spellcheck …


      • 101
        Arctic Tourist says:

        And they’ve got asylum seekers begging in the snow and immigrants sleeping in cars and washing their clothes in the fjord.


        • 149
          táxpáyér says:

          Well no, actually they’ve got no-go areas for women and a big r4pe problem.

          mo’hamed, mo problem.


      • 117
        Braveheart says:

        tbh c.$80K per head isn’t going to buy you much of a pension. The reason why this is in a sovereign wealth fund and not in private sector corporate reserves is that the Norwegians kept their oil and oil operations all in public hands. We could have done the same in Scotland if we hadn’t let the English come and steal all our oil – but then again $80K isn’t much to get excited about.


      • 176
        Read it and weep says:

        They actually the fund is nearer $900bn mark and population is under 5 mill.


      • 222
        M­a­­q­b­o­­ul says:

        Lived in Norway 5 years. Their health service is a disgrace and you will find many of them travel to UK for serious treatment. Their lefty government protects the producer not the consumer so you have crappy supermarkets with rotten locally produced veg on the shelves. Pubs empty all week as nobody wants to pay six or seven quid for a fizzy ale. Weekends they are heaving with drunks all pissed up on home brewed hooch before they came out. Pensions are generous because everything is so bloody expensive. Dreariest country in Europe. The only good thing about Norway is what God gave it.

        We knew the idle locals as Blue-eyed Arabs.

        British revenue from North sea oil was frittered away on Scargill’s miners. For years we took the oil out of the sea and poured it down the pits.


        • 225
          Fred the pensioner says:

          Very expensive indeed. Even their taxis have credit card readers to enable you to pay the fare home from the supermarket. Still, I like Oslo and its park with all those naughty statues along the road!


          • M­a­­q­b­o­­ul says:

            Their taxis (mainly Mercs) have mortgage brokers sitting in the passenger seat in case you needed to finance the fare. Most exciting thing about Oslo was buying freshly boiled prawns off the fishing boats.


  6. 6
    Calamity Clegg, Chief Cockroach says:

    I’ve got a dozen SpAds I can spare.


  7. 7
    Emily Bennd says:

    I want to go into politics to make the world a better place – especially for myself and my family.


  8. 8
    Tony Smooth says:

    I had a blowie off that Wendi Deng.

    Bill Clinton told me if you don’t penetrate you can’t be indicted for lying when you deny it.

    I asked Hillary if that was true and she just punched me in the nads!

    Lord Prezza will know. I’ll ask him.


  9. 9
    Ockham's Razor says:

    Dear Sir,

    I wish to apply for the post of SpAd and can bring my own cupboard along, if necessary.

    My fees are extremely reasonable, just a retainer of £20k a month plus reasonable expenses and three months holiday per quarter. For this, I may be prepared to work overtime, depending on what she is like.

    I look forward to a long and fruitful relationship and have pleasure in remaining your most humble and obedient servant,

    Ockham’s Razor


    • 14
      Bill Quango MP says:

      Before we can process your application we require the following important information.

      1. For which political party is your mother or father an MP ?
      2. Did you go to Oxford or Cambridge?
      3. Indicate with the help of this map which government offices your uncle/Aunt/Grandfather works in.
      4. This post has quite a low salary. Indicate to the nearest £50,000 the value of your trust fund that will support you until you can be found a safe seat
      5. In the {unlikely} event that you are not a member of a politician’s or prominent union official’s family, how much do your parents donate annually to a political party?

      *please note the quote for Tobys, Tristrams, Tallulahs, Tobins, Timothys and Tabithas is completely full. The entire posh name “T” quota has been used until 2017.


      • 24
        Ockham's Razor says:

        Dear Mr Quango,

        Thank you for your letter of even date.

        1. Whilst neither of my parents were MPs, they did live next door to Lady Nancy Astor at 3 Elliot Terrace, where I was born. She said I would do well.
        2. Yes. Both. On a number of days.
        3. If I told you that, I should have to kill you. (A bit to the right of where your finger is pointing.) *coughs*
        4. Oh dear! Can the government afford this loss?
        5. My parents used to donate an eight figure amount between them (3/4¾d each.)

        Since I have a preference for being undressed for a large amount of the time, I do not mind being called Adam in the slightest. Or even Adam.

        It is with anticipation that I await your further advices.


        Ockham’s Razor

        *masonic flicker of eyebrow*


        • 32
          Bill Quango MP says:

          Thank you for your prompt reply.
          Mr Gove, the chief whip, says he knows of an MP who is in need of a fresh opening.

          Its with the Liberal democrats but that should not be of much concern.
          They have very little to actually do and so spend a large part of each day amongst themselves with the office doors locked.

          Naturally I assume you went to at least a minor public school and are familiar with liberal practices.

          The MP will write to offer you an interview in due course. This particular MP does suggest a dress code of short trousers, but that is not compulsory.

          Hope I was able to be of service.
          Remember me to your father.

          Old Occy ‘Wilkinson’ Razor and I were in the 2nd XI at Stowe together.


          • Ockham's Razor says:

            Thank you so much for dealing with this so effectively.

            Golly! I thought my father had mentioned your name. Do you still live at Quango Piles, or was it Castle Quango? Isn’t English Heritage a wonderful organisation? Smart move of yours, if I may say so. My, that is going back a bit!

            Talking of which, the party is really immaterial now, really, isn’t it? I hope I can slip into the position with ease. I realise that I will have to make my mark and assure you that I shall not let the Old Stoics down. I was actually in Grafton but managed to get into Nugent for a few nights. Bit deep for a Stoic.

            Anthony Quinton, whom I bumped into last week, send you his regards. He suggested I write.

            Once again, I am forever in your debt.


          • Your latex wear is laid out on the bed, sir. May I recommend the ‘Bad Boy’ talc to assist? If you would be so kind as to indicate your drug of choice for tonight I will have it ready in your dressing room.

            Will noon be early enough for your breakfast, sir?


          • Adam Smythers says:

            Oooh! That rimshot really hurt. Was a member of the Corkscrew Society too.

            Maybe I got the wrong end of the stick?

            More powder please Batman!


  10. 12
    Jimmy says:

    Obviously his vast experience of education will be invaluable.


    • 25

      Shouldn’t you be spelling that: edukayshun ?

      Vote UKIP :-D


      • 30
        Ockham's Razor says:

        No. Jimmy has found himself in the wrong party. Why do you think he keeps coming back here?

        Vote UKIP and God Save The Queen :-D


        • 35
          M­a­­q­bo­­ul says:

          I think he comes back here on an ego trip as he certainly isn’t he to convert with subtle persuasion.


        • 211
          Jimmy says:

          Morbid curiosity.

          Incidentally this is an interesting story of a sneaky and corrupt attempt by the government to put a party election campaigner on the public payroll. Do you know of any blogs that would be interested in a story like that?


  11. 15
    Ockham's Razor says:

    The black box is now in the UK.

    No! I am not talking about the Member for Hackney North and Stoke Newington.


    • 22

      That is likely to become an minor detail within the next 72 hours or so after the pro-R’ussian separatists are wiped out and a peace-keeping force is established under the R’ussian flag in Eastern U’kraine with a mission to fight terrorism in the country and protect R’ussian security and U’kraine’s.

      There has been a big mobilization of forces on the R’ussian side of the border towards the border.

      The armour may start rolling within the next 12 hours.

      Vote UKIP :-D


      • 29
        Ockham's Razor says:

        It is difficult to imagine how this could have worked out differently, especially after UA gave RF all its nukes.

        There is a lesson here about the value of having a realistic deterrent. We could easily be just another domino of the future, in our semi-defenceless state.


        • 46

          Historically, Donetsk has always been part of Russia!

          One people, one Russia, one Putin!


          • Old Yorkshire game. “Put ‘n take”. Vlad obviously learnt it from’t masters’ o’t game. Tha puts someat in, throws t’dice and then tha takes what tha can before t’other buggers twig tha’s lied. Of course, it helps if tha’s got thy hand on’t gas tap and a boot o’ert thy opponent’s throat.
            I bet e’s right good at “Risk” too.


          • Taffy Thompson says:


            Donetsk is part of Wales!


        • 62

          U’kraine giving up nukes was the right thing. Reducing the total warhead count in the world is important policy. R’ussia are reversing that at present.

          If U’kraine had nukes it would make current situation worst. R’ussia would just stage a nuclear terrorist incident, maybe in K’iev, with U’kraine’s own weapons, and guess what happens next ?

          Same as what is happening now with conventional forces and an active measures campaign.

          Vote UKIP :-D


          • Ockham's Razor says:

            Not so sure that these choices divide that easily into good thing/bad thing.

            The issue I was really pointing at was our deterrent capability. OK we have subs. It ups the anti a bit. But, in this game of stark national interest, we have to be prepared to use it, otherwise we might as well save the money.

            My money is on expanding our capability as the world has lurched towards the more dangerous state in which we now find ourselves. Providing we can inflict some serious damage, we have a better chance of not being walked upon.

            As with anything, there are no guarantees…

            Vote UKIP :-D


          • Check back the history of how the disarmament was agreed – history surronding B’udapest Memo – it will become clear.

            U’kraine are no angels, but in hindsight R’ussia’s position at the time just a little to contrite.

            Vote UKIP :-)


          • Ockham's Razor says:

            Sorry to drone on but repeat: my point was related to the UK and its capacity. Apologies if I did not make that clear enough.

            I favour rearmament for the UK, given that UA is effectively up the creek without a paddle.

            Since we were never part of the Budapest Memorandum, I was seeking your view on whether any capability on our part is worth the candle. An expensive candle it is too. But better value than what we pay the EU.


          • Oh – UK cannot give up nukes – foolish if it did.

            That is the only thing keeping F’rance out, and a balance of nuke power in Europe.

            Vote UKIP :-D


          • Ockham's Razor says:


            You agree with me then, it appears.

            Vote UKIP and God Save The Queen :-D


          • R’ussia has been a quasi-theocratic State since P’utin came to power and brought O’rthodox Church into the political fold.

            It’s quite obvious.

            Militant h’omosexual movements are part of the active measures deployed against the UK in order to subvert and damage society.

            The UK gov playing along with that has been foolish – should have shut it down ages ago and just done the equality thing without allowing the issue to become politicized.

            Too late now.

            Vote UKIP :-D


          • EU at it's best spouting rubbish says:

            The real damage to this country has been the EU and idiots like you, who help it along, maybe you will get a shock when UKIP do end up with a British MP, 2015 it won’t happen but 2020 it will.


          • Ashcroft research is placing at least two in 2015.

            Likely will end up with more. Dave’s R’uss!an blood money could prove more sticky than even he realizes ;-)

            Vote UKIP :-D


  12. 18

    S’erbia making a thing about it’s apparent ‘ultimatum’ received today from the EU / West:


    Some describe as: Impose sanctions or else.

    In reality, S’erbia is very reasonably being given until 1st September to decide where it stands on being in the EU or out. If they choose out the implications for R’epublica Srpska could be interesting as BiH will stay in.

    R’ussia’s ultimatum to U’kraine over D’onblass is expected later tonight.

    It is reported that R’ussia will attempt to define ‘terrorism’ as a political entity and insist on its own ground forces entering Eastern U’kraine as ‘Peacekeepers’.

    Vote UKIP :-D


    • 146
      táxpáyér says:

      Yes, people in the UK who watch AlJaBeebya have been duped into believing that the only democracy in the middle east is the aggressor.


      • 236
        ZZZ says:

        The stolen land isn’t a “democracy” it’s a theocracy, Shlomo.
        The people you drove into refugee camps and whose lands you are occupying don’t have a say at all, you lying slimebag.


  13. 19
    Vlad the Invader says:

    Hey !
    Westerner people!

    Stop picking on Russia or I shall order the spamming of your inboxes and the sending of porn featuring you and an ugly MP, like Prescott or Abbott, to all your contacts.

    Don’t make me do it!
    You know I will.

    And fuck over your spam filters and block BBC iplayer and add several items you don’t want to each of your Sainsbury’s home delivery orders. Shit items too. Like white shoe polish and those crappy discount bin bags and a copy of The Daily Express.

    You have been warned.


  14. 21
    Anonymous says:

    So just another bland policy adviser and speech writer.

    Isn’t it time a “Special Advisor” was something a bit special?


  15. 26
    Another Engineer says:


    I see that Ms Shoesmith, of Haringey / Baby P fame has been awarded a mere £680k for being sacked.

    A big well done to Ed Balls.

    They should both be taken out and etc etc etc


    • 34
      Gordon McBreath says:

      £680k for presiding over a total fuck up of social services? Its a disgrace.

      I fucked up an entire nation and I only got £120k a year.


    • 71
      John Bellingham says:

      How much will Mr Balls-Up be contributing from his personal funds?


  16. 28
    Cool Crosbie with a Hu Wan Tu Guru. says:

    So they are all geared up for the election. May may the best person win. Me! Lol.


  17. 36
    Diane Abbott says:

    I always call a spad a spad.


  18. 37
    M­a­­q­bo­­ul says:

    Dave has stamped his foot well and truly down. He has banned Russia from partaking in the Commonwealth Games in Glasgow.



    • 39
      Tories will win the 2015 election, so fuck off says:

      Quite right too. Well done Dave.


      • 72
        I guess gay marriage interested him more than running the country says:

        Labour currently set for a 32-seat majority. UKIP support increasing. Labour 5 points ahead – Dimmy Dave needs to be 5 points ahead of Labour.

        Squeaky bum time for Dimmy Dave and his coterie of faux-Tory clowns!!


        • 103
          Dave the Tank Engine says:

          Next stop Brussels. Chuf chuf. Come on Cleggy get some steam up.


        • 105
          CHRIST ON A BIKE! says:

          No evidence of that in the local/euro and Newark elections. Labour will be in Michael Foot numbers. Going backwards 5% in Northern by-election whilst Labour are in opposition, is catastrophically bad. Not to mention the Conservatives out polling Labour in Euros in England.

          But if you want to believe National Pollsters given their 50 year history of being complete bollocks, then go ahead and bet your house on it.


          • The Voice of Reason says:

            You’re in for a big surprise down in London where loads of non-UK citizens will be voting in the UK general election.

            Despite the fact that Miliband is probably the worst ever Labour would-be PM since Michael Foot, I think they are a shoo-in to win. But it will be relatively close – and about 30 seats sounds right to me.

            You seem to be forgetting that the vast majority of families have not seen a real increase in their annual income since 2004. Ten years – and no prospect of an increase in the years ahead.


        • 144
          táxpáyér says:

          How many Scotch MPs are there?


  19. 38
    The UK Media dumbed down fucking twats says:

    Israel is bad but terrorist Hamas is good.


  20. 40
    An awkward bastard says:

    So our David is now reviewing all of our overseas arms deals.

    Why is this necessary I ask myself.

    Surely such things would have been dealt with before contracts were approved signed and implemented.


    • 66
      I guess gay marriage interested him more than running the country says:

      DELETE * FROM tblArmsDeal WHERE CustomerCountry = “RUSSIA”;


    • 107
      Arms Dealer says:

      The Russkis have given away so many AKs and shit that they need a top up.


  21. 41
    Thank you, Ed Balls says:

    The former head of Haringey children’s services Sharon Shoesmith has been awarded almost £680,000 for her unfair dismissal claim.


  22. 42
    Thank you, Ed Balls says:

    The former head of Haringey children’s services Sharon Shoesmith has been awarded almost £680,000 for her unfair dismissal claim.


    • 55
      Anonymous says:

      So that’s another 680k that Ed Balls has cost the Country. We just cann’t afford this man.


      • 69
        The 4th Reich says:

        He’s keeping his Nazi Uniform in storage until the National Socialists turn out all the lights in Europe again.


  23. 44

    He looks more like a SpUd to me.


  24. 45
    cured lefty says:


    i invite any of our EU loving friends to explain how the benefits system works in romania (and i’ll wait for the tedious usual shite but millions of brits are in eu ..they sure as fuck are never handed such a generous benny package….but we are a rich country we are blah blah fucking left wing blahh bilge blah blah ad infinitum

    come on jimmy rise to the bait get out of that one


  25. 67
    David Ward,Hamas Spokesman says:

    From his mansion in Qatar he’ll fight until the last Gazan MT Mashal: Palestinian people stronger than Israeli army http://bit.ly/UohtDE


  26. 75
    Och I the noo ya ken says:

    Well tonight Scotland hosts all those Commonwealth countries the broke free from hanging on to the English coattails and became countries in their own right, I wonder if over the next number of days the Commonwealth Games are on will the freedom and go it alone idea rub off onto the Scots and Scotland the brave, will stay Scotland the brave by voting YES in September or will it become Scotland the scaredies and will keep hanging onto the English coattails and just become an a part of another country called North of England.


    • 83
      JC Juncker says:

      England will be the western atlantic parish council and you Scottish peoples can form the Atlantic Golf Committee


      • 122
        Angela Merkel says:

        YES. Tell the British what to do. And carry on fucking me, you nasty little Luxemburger.


    • 86
      the Black Pudding says:

      apparently Scots had an important role in the administration of the Empire.


    • 104
      Great(full) Scot says:

      What have the English ever done for us? Paid for the commwealth games.


  27. 76
    Mr Galloway says:

    Lt. Paz Elyahu, 22, Staff Sgt. Li Mat, 19 & Staff Sgt. Shahar Dauber, 20, were killed today on the battlefield. May their memory be blessed.


    • 238
      ZZZ says:

      How many children did they kill with their IDF chums? Must be around 150 by now. That’s up from the usual 1 dead kid every three days for the last 9 years.


  28. 82
    Oooo look over there ,no not this way says:

    Listened to radio 4 as I went down to the shops and as usual the BBC commentors were hissing about Camoron and Russia and the money and arms and how Camoron hasn’t stopped all the arms contracts, the delight when they had some smarmy Frenchy going on about these Russian arms contracts but he didn’t mention the two ships the French were flogging Russia, on the same thought, why has Germany and France not shouted at Russia or done anything to annoy them and left it all to our piece of crap who will rather us lose business and see Germany and France get it after the dust settles, Camoron on strings to be manipulated like the giant Grandma in Liverpool.


  29. 84
    alexrod says:

    Hey, Lynton, know what? Life is like a sleigh ride. Unless you’re out in front, you’re always looking up someone else’s asshole. And judging from your poll figures, you got a pretty good view of mine. *FARTS* How you like ‘em shitty apples?


  30. 87
    London Luton Airport says:

    Why are only Gatwick and Heathrow being considered for further runways? We are a London(-ish) airport too. We bring in many thousands of new migrants every day who contribute to this country by keeping police and DWP staff in jobs. We also run many flights to Iraq and Syria carrying young men from Luton who want to, er, help out in those areas. Not to mention young kuffir prostitutes going to Magaluf who should rightly be stoned to death under the Caliphate, or at least groomed and gang banged at Uncle Ali’s taxi firm. We are very over burdened with all these flights so go on, give us an extra runway. Insh’Allah.


  31. 88
    Anonymous says:

    Another ed balls fuckup

    Former head of social services at Baby P council Sharon Shoemith wins £679,000 pay-out for unfair dismissal
    She was sacked from £133k job after an investigation into the toddler’s death
    17-month-old died in 2007, despite 60 visits from health and social workers
    Now the extent of her compensation has been revealed in council accounts

    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2703153/Former-head-social-services-Baby-P-council-Sharon-Shoemith-wins-679-000-pay-unfair-dismissal.html#ixzz38JuApDkE
    Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook


    • 91
      Ed Balls says:

      To be fair, I sort of assumed that if an employee’s incompetence had actually led to a baby’s death, sacking them would not be hugely difficult. Obviously I failed to take into account all the stupid employment laws my party had passed to kiss the EU and the unions’ arses.


    • 94
      Casual Observer says:

      What is the point of all the fucking useless social workers sucking up taxpayers money? Sharon Shoesmith is a prime example of the parasites.

      Nosey neighbours and grandparents are far more effective and free — plus proper deterrent sentences served in real prisons.


      • 97

        If she arranged sixty visits and the social workers didn’t notice anything wrong, it was probably the staff’s fault rather than hers.

        What happened to the doctor who failed to notice the child’s broken back?


  32. 89
    'Jonah' Broon says:

    All the best to the Scottish lads and lassies competing in Glasgow!


  33. 90
    Anonymous says:

    Former head of social services at Baby Pee council Sharom Shoe ith wins £679,000 pay-out for unfair dismissal
    She was sacked from £133k job after an investigation into the toddler’s death
    17-month-old died in 2007, despite 60 visits from health and social workers
    Now the extent of her compensation has been revealed in council accounts

    | DailyMail


  34. 96

    I’m here at Celtic Park to watch some Scots in the grip of a wild spending spree.

    Liked by 1 person

  35. 98

    Pass the rent boy to the left


  36. 100
    Oooo look over there ,no not this way says:

    Never watched the Olympics as it was all the left wing sh1te at the opening and closing, now the Commonwealth games is really Britain’s country cousins games, you have to watch as your cousins in Oz, NZ or Canada or all the other little islands will quiz you and, piss you off and make you stand up and pay for all the booze, b,stards.


  37. 112

    This confirms the earlier C’orriere interview:

    Vote UKIP :-D


  38. 116
    Anonymous says:

    Scotland’s Commonwealth Games opening ceremony – what can you say…..


    • 120
      Scotland the embarrasing says:

      Nothing much except change channel and watch the Crossrail project, embarrassment all around, even Manchester couldn’t get near with their moggy car dance.


  39. 118

    I’m going to cut off our nose to spite our save face. If she arranged sixty visits and the social workers didn’t notice anything wrong, it was probably the staff’s fault rather than hers.


  40. 119

    What happened to the doctor who failed to notice the child’s broken back?


  41. 123
    The worst ever says:

    Stop it Scotland, please, cut it short now, it’s appalling….Jesus, please…


  42. 125
  43. 126
    Messrs Galloway & Ward says:

    How much foreign aid went to building elaborate concrete terror tunnels while Gazans pled poverty?Millions and millions


    • 131
      Pork Staynes says:

      How many Tivali meat-free sausages do you need to sell to build-up a war machine the size of Isreal’s?


      • 136
        I go off on a bender says:

        A googol-plex, plus or minus a few? I like mine on the side with creamy scrambled-eggs on thinly sliced smoked salmon on toast.


      • 138
        brown-dog says:



      • 142
        táxpáyér says:

        Well you need an economy based on capitalism, so naturally as Isreal are the only capitalists in the entire region (mainly because arabs are too stupid and too corrupt to manage capitalism) the 6 million IsRealis can defend themselves well against the 1.2 billion hopeless ayrabs.


      • 148
        Bob says:

        Comment of the Day, but I would say that, wouldn’t I? Go on, Steve:- put it up there tomorrow. I’ve been coming here long enough, you tight git.
        Is “Pork” off the menu now?


      • 221
        non taxable pikey says:

        Israel, of course it is.


  44. 127
    Ex-scot says:

    Opening Ceremony in Glasgow is so hip, trendy ,edgy and rubbish!


    • 134
      Scotland the embarrasing says:

      Embarrassment all around, I had realised Scotland had been so badly damaged by 1997-2010 reign of terror and 5 years of SNP, it’s got some weirdo’s ruining the the start of the games, I hope Brown is nowhere to be seen.


  45. 128
    Pork Staynes says:

    Too clever, by half. Shouldn’t we be dumbing down a little to capture more of the market?


  46. 129
    The worst ever says:

    Are all Scottish women overweight?


  47. 130
    Anonymous says:

    So, he’s another one with a wide experience of business and other aspects of real life -m NOT!


  48. 140
    Just asking..... says:

    Can anyone here see their GP out of office hours?


  49. 155
    A flower that blooms tra la la says:

    All those countries at the Commonwealth games and all that potential business and all the politicians want to do is lick ar5e with a collection of countries with initials called the EU that hates Britannia’s guts, why?, oh why?, oh why?.


  50. 161
    Bravebelly says:

    Any odds yet on how many athletes will go AWOL and get to stay?


  51. 162

    R’ussia Doubling-Down:

    Vote UKIP :-D


  52. 163

    Dave and his mates are really is being outed as the kind of folk who prefer their money dipped in blood:

    Worst than Bla!r. Utter scum.

    Vote UKIP :-D


  53. 166

    Gonna take P’utins ball away now:

    Bad Badger.

    Vote UKIP :-D


  54. 167
    Drains on society says:

    Anyone over 20 stone should be exterminated without further adoo.



    • 171
      skype says:

      You must be nudging 280 pounds, dear.


    • 177
      Jimmy 5-bellies says:

      In the NE we used to have heavy industry/very physical jobs. We burnt off the calories int he normal course of work. Now we have very sedantry jobs…hence many of us are now fat.


  55. 169
    The foreign view says:

    One of my foreign guests (English speaking) told me that he had been listening to the pro Russian, anti Government, British news and wanted to know where this was broadcast from and how it was funded.

    It transpires that he was listening to the BBC News at 5 pm and was incredulous that the British public are forced to fund these sneering, pro communist/Labour apparatchiks on pain of imprisonment.

    You are paying for a group who hate your country was his next comment.


    • 179
      Matthew Amawillywally says:

      What fucks me off about BBC 24 Rolling News Channel more than anything is the countdown sequence showing cripples pretending to be on the case, me with my finger in ear trying to dislodge wax, some strumpet wiggling hips whilst pretending to poke her iPad, some foreigner playing with a satellite dish (like thats’ going to work), Huey Morgan walking towards camera as if he is not just a bum-on-seat journo who got above his station in life, some indecipherable bird with a skid lid on who kind of ducks as if there’s incoming while they shot it on the BBC parking lot, various free-loaders at sporting events that finished several yeras ago …..

      … I could go on but you get the gist, yeah?


      • 182
        Kate Burley says:

        Yes. Annoying, isn’t it? That bitch journalist shedding crocodile tears onto the steaming cadaver of the foreign nobody at T minus 15 seconds has me reaching for the adverts on Channel 82.


      • 183
        The Voice of Reason says:

        Quite amusing in its way.

        Is that the sequence where they all look like they are practising pathetic karate chops with their hands?

        Who do you think has the most annoying hand movements on BBC TV news?


        • 189
          Kate Amawillywally says:

          Quite amusing in its way? You, who profess to hate the BBC, don’t find anything in the filler sequence vomit-inducing?
          The most annoying hand movements on BBC TV news belong to Jimmy Savile but he may well be fiddling with Satan’s dangly bits, right now.


          • Not In My Mane says:

            I’ve never professed to hate the BBC ever. I rather like it. Just think it needs a bit of judicious reform.

            As for the hand movements, it’s a close call but I go with Fiona Bruce for basic disengagement between hand movement and meaning.

            Mishal Khan at least looks like she’s interested in the Good Housekeeping magazine she’s got hidden on the desktop.


      • 190

        Can’t watch it.

        Vote UKIP :-D


    • 187
      Foreigners know their communism says:

      Oleg Gordievsky : “Just listen with attention to the ideological nuances on Radio 4, BBC television, and the BBC World Service, and you will realise that communism is not a dying creed.”


      • 206
        Tachybaptus says:

        It’s not dying, it’s dead, a fossilised zombie echo in the minds of ageing idiots. If you want dates, it died as a belief in 1956 after than Hungarian uprising, and as a force in 1962 after the Cuban missile crisis. The Vietnam insurgency was more about a successful expansion of the Chinese empire than communism.


  56. 173
    A deaf person says:

    Rod Stewart’s sounding good


    • 185
      Scortish Nort Brettish says:

      I think Rod Stewart is a fantastic representative for Scottish parsimony and general unpleasantness.


      • 191
        A High Number says:

        I remember Rodney from The Railway Hotel, Harrow circa ’64. He was an annoying little shit then and I don’t suppose time has improved matters.


    • 186
      Anonymous says:



  57. 180
    Politicised shite says:

    Oh fuck me, Connolly raving shite about Mandela.

    These games are going down the shitter before they start.


    • 197
      The Grim Reaper says:

      Connolly, he’s dead, just like Che Guevara, get over it. By the way, the only 95 you will see is on a bus.


  58. 184
    Oooo look over there ,no not this way says:

    Well I think I would rather buy my cousins a pint than have to listen to their laughs and pisstake on the opening ceremony of the Commonwealth games, I really think Scots will be lucky to find the polling stations in September to vote YES or NO, I hope the athletes enjoy themselves and really get over Scotland’s idea of an opening ceremony.


  59. 188
    Grim says:

    The party goes on at Celtic Park, claims. Hazel Rantzen…

    Really, that’s a party?
    Fucking woeful.
    Been to better wakes.


  60. 192
    Reg Dwight says:

    Does Jeremy Vinyl really hang out in Pinner? Fuck me. I’m going to keep my eyes peeled on my way to Sainsbury’s.


  61. 198
    Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:



  62. 203
    Not In My Mane says:

    What’s the difference between a spaz and a spad?

    One has difficulty co-ordinating their movements with their speech.

    And one has difficulty co-ordinating their Speeches with their Movements.


  63. 205

    I bet he went Down Under !


  64. 208
    King Alex says:

    What was the best? The booing of the Queen and Duke of Ed, the pleading for money, the black guys in kilts, the man with the song from out of the charts (out of the charts for 35 years) or the bloke from California praising the guy from South Africa?


  65. 209
    JustSayNo_toFriendsofIsrael says:

    Professor Stephen Walt, Harvard Professor of International Affairs

    In answer to Guido’s hysterical chasing of that MP who dared to ‘offend’ the Israel lobby with a couple of tweets…

    Just came across this chap – a current Harvard Professor who gives a balanced and compelling perspective on why the Israel lobby is bad for the USA, bad for Israel and bad for Palestine.
    And by default, why the lobby is/will be bad for the UK.

    If you were too worried about criticising Israel for fear of being branded anti-semitic, [like we had been scared to call out uncontrolled immigration in the UK for fear of being branded racist], then check out the link below.

    Professor Walt also has speeches on Youtube, [search out moveoveraipac].
    Not a nutter, but a sensible, brave academic, whose research will resonate with the average person on the street who has probably been too wary about voicing their legitimate concerns about supporting Israel.



    • 212
      Not In My Man says:

      You’re entitled to your opinion. What you’re not entitled to do is do violence to the facts and suggest that Hamas is anything other than a Jihadist genocidal movement. And so in asking Israel to seek peace with them, you are asking Israel to submit to a Jihadist genocidal movement.

      Just be honest…please. Because after they have exterminated Israel they will come gunning for us.


      • 214
        JustSayNo_toFriendsofIsrael says:

        OK don’t bother reading the linked HuffPost article – but this latest Gaza attack is losing massive support/sympathy for Israel…and nobody – especially in the UK – likes a bully.

        And I just watched the virtually unreported sniper shooting 3 times and killing an unarmed, civilian teenager [?] in Gaza.
        Shocking, yet only the Daily Mail seemed to mention it…?
        Such powerful images should have been reported across the whole MSM.
        But they were not.
        Didn’t even register in the US.

        At least the airline boycott should bring the trouble to an abrupt stop.


        • 216
          FO to secret antisem-ites says:

          Where did I say people in the UK like a bully?

          People in the UK specifically don’t like a bully.

          That was why the UK government almost got them into a pro-ISIS war in Syria against the bully Assad. But fortunately, as a people, we showed more sense than our stupid government.

          What do you mean the “unreported” sniper attack? I’ve seen that loads including on UK terrestial TV. I have to say, given the number of PLO/Hamas (documented) fakes in the past we’d want to check that out – but yes – war is horrific. Anything else you’d like to tell us?


          • Yawn says:

            Quit pretending to be a “semite”, Shlomo. You are almost certainly convert squatter stock from Kazakhstan and have no link to the Israelites whatsoever.


        • 229
          non taxable pikey says:

          Seems the airline “boycott” has come to an abrupt stop.


    • 242
      Yawn says:

      Congratulations on waking up. Here is an introduction to the z ion ist psyche:



  66. 210
    Tachybaptus says:

    Coming home late tonight, I found this circular from my local council. Probably other British voters have got or will get such a letter. It seems that by being on the electoral register, I am also by default on a thing called the ‘open register’, and if I don’t take action this exposes me to all kinds of commercial intrusions on my privacy. Naturally I went online immediately to stop it. But why should I have to? Am I just being pompous (quite likely), or is this a new and disgusting misuse of the democratic process, or what’s left of it?


    Your vote matters. The way you register to vote is changing.

    Dear xxxx
    The way you register to vote is changing. I’m writing to let you know that you have been automatically re-registered under the new system.
    You don’t need to do anything else, but if you have any queries about your registration you can contact us using the details above. You won’t need to register again unless your entitlement to be registered changes. You should let us know if you change your name or if you move house.
    Your details are on the open register. To be removed from the open register please contact us using the details at the top of this letter. Please see below for more information about what this means.
    There are two registers. Why?
    Using information received from the public, registration officers keep two registers — the electoral register and the open register (also known as the edited register).

    The electoral register
    The electoral register lists the names and addresses of everyone who is registered to vote in public elections. The register is used for electoral purposes, such as making sure only eligible people can vote. It is also used for other limited purposes specified in law, such as detecting crime (e.g. fraud), calling people for jury service and checking credit applications.

    The open register
    The open register is an extract of the electoral register, but is not used for elections. It can be bought by any person, company or organisation. For example, it is used by businesses and charities to confirm name and address details. Your name and address will be included in the open register unless you ask for them to be removed. Removing your details from the open register does not affect your right to vote.
    You can find more information about both registers and how they may be used at http://www.gov.uk/yourvotematters .
    (etc., etc.)


  67. 220

    people in the UK like a bully? OMG


  68. 227
  69. 230
    Lard Everard - Giant Cockroach says:



  70. 241
    Anonymous says:

    “Head of Brand and Advertising”
    Some say that, the truth will set you free. Is that why no political (spin doctor) speechwriter ever puts this simple message at the top of their employer’s crib sheet? Maybe instead, they might manage to sneak in another accurate observation from one of our kind: Oh what a tangled web we weave…


  71. 243
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    testing times – indeed.


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