July 23rd, 2014

Desmond Wields Axe: 200 Out at Express and Star

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Bosses as the Daily Express and Daily Star have this morning sent a letter to employees informing them that 200 jobs are to go, offering redundancies to contracted staff. This means the workforce across both papers will be reduced from 650 to 450. A source in the newsroom tells MediaGuido“How nice of Desmond to use his papers to promote his sh*t Channel 5 programmes, then get rid of the staff who helped him sell it for £450 million.” A union meeting is planned this afternoon at head office…


93 Comments

  1. 1
    Jimmy says:

    Why are you ignoring David Ward’s outrageous tweet in this article?

    Like

    • 9
      Bomber Harris says:

      Finally a LibDem who can understand why I wanted to bomb the bollocks out of the Germans.

      Like

      • 15
        Jihad Jenny says:

        The UK was wrong to bomb Nazi Germany and should have had a negotiated settlement with Herr Hitler and his supporters.

        The Soviets, British empire and United States surrounded Nazi Germany and prevented the people there having employment opportunities or medical care or education. Nazi Germany was just a sealed in prison camp where the inmates had no choice but to resort to V1 and V2 rocket attacks that couldn’t begin to threaten the power of the United States 8th airforce or Bomber Command.

        it was a totally disproportionate attack and the subsequent invasion of the German homeland was a war crime

        Like

    • 67
      Hugh Janus says:

      Because it’s been rocketed to death in the preceding three articles, perhaps…?!

      Like

    • 76
      The Growler says:

      When is Murdoch going to start firing Sun and Times journos and contributors, once one lot starts the others follow, Independent, Guardian, Torygraph, Sexpress group, who next? News Corp, Wail, Mirror group, where will the sword fall next.

      Like

    • 79
      Disinterested Onanist says:

      What about Asian Babes?

      Like

  2. 2
    concrete pump says:

    Newspapers minus any news.

    Like

  3. 3
    Owen Jones says:

    Punch it in right up to the elbow.

    Like

  4. 4
    Carney Easing says:

    Can someone please ask Princess Di if we are going to have a heatwave.

    Like

  5. 6
    Sue Denim says:

    It takes 650 people to produce those “newspapers”?

    Like

    • 8
      Anonymous says:

      Not anymore.

      Like

    • 25

      Could asparagus cure bubonic plague?
      Can England win?
      Is this Maddy?
      Could block paving double the value of YOUR house?

      ….and other Questions To Which The Answer Is Obviously ‘No’.

      Like

      • 34
        Bill Quango MP says:

        I’d give a ‘like’ to that post .

        if i could.

        Like

        • 39
          Vlad the Loudhailer says:

          I don’t understand how this liking works either.

          Like

          • Norma Stitz says:

            Bloody hell. I just clicked on ‘like’ and my cursor froze and the whole screen began flashing. I had to unplug and restart. (Mac, with Firefox) Something badly wrong!

            Like

          • Sue Denim says:

            Same problem with PC and Firefox and AdBlock.

            It used to work once.

            Like

          • Fred the pensioner says:

            Yup I get that too with Firefox browser with Yahoo. Some worms must have crawled in. Plus, Yahoo takes a fucking age to load and also crashed my computer a few times as it tries to load so much shit on the front page all at the same time.

            Like

    • 77
      The Growler says:

      They don’t print them selves, its all sent out to regional printers.

      Like

    • 87
      Express & Star, Wolverhampton, UK says:

      We protest as we are not sacking any employees as your article states and certainly not the figures you mention which is more than we actually employ.
      It could be that your grammar (sic) is as bad a under Mr Blair’s education regime, in which case we will still not forgive you.

      Like

  6. 7
    A person under 35 says:

    What is a newspaper? is it like a tweet?

    Like

    • 14
      A teacher under 35 says:

      Tories used them to spread fear and propaganda amongst the poor shoeless northerners in the 1980’s.

      Like

  7. 10
    Bill Quango MP says:

    So you can be old enough to have sex, but if you photograph yourself nude and send that photo you are breaking the law.

    Even if you send it to yourself. Or your partner, if they are under 18.
    You are breaking the law.

    Over to you Hattie! It was your law.

    Like

    • 16
      rick says:

      Don’t try and make sense of anything, today. We live in an alternative universe.

      Like

    • 17
      concrete pump says:

      Sexting and Harriet Harman in the same post.

      Thanks Bill.

      Like

      • 31
        Bill Quango MP says:

        But now you have put the image of a nude, legs apart, Hattie, reclining in a paddling pool in the garden, selfieing into people’s minds.

        Some may go mad.

        Like

      • 82
        Rupert says:

        I offered Hattie 50 quid to get her tits out for page three, but when the poor cow did they were hanging down to her belly. As for that Yvette sheila, stripped to the waist they were smaller than Tom Daley’s. Thats another 100 quid down the crapper

        Like

        • 88
          Dirty Desmond. says:

          I only offered £25 but did not publish as I respect the intelligence and moral attitude of my customers.

          Like

    • 19
      Diana Abbott says:

      If I sent a nude photograph of myself not only would it be against the law but a humanitarian crime.

      Like

    • 73
      inside out says:

      If you are under 18yrs sending a topless picture is illegal,but you can buy the Sun,and see page 3 at any age.The world has gone mad

      Like

  8. 11

    This explains why they are chopping up the plane into small pieces, as was done in S’molensk:

    Will slow down the investigation, but shouldn’t fool the investigators. They would be looking out for this in any case.

    Vote UKIP :-D

    Like

    • 21
      CHRIST ON A BIKE! says:

      I don’t know about adding parts, but you can bet they sure as hell trying to remove missile fragments.

      Like

      • 29

        No – that is impractical.

        They are trying to still make case about air-air bringing the plane down. The damage on the target plane has a different pattern.

        By adding parts they are hoping to confuse the investigators and shift their judgement (which will be based on a probability / opinion) towards air-air rather than SAM.

        They may hopefully screw up and add parts which have non-Boeing serial numbers – that would get noticed. If they are smart then they will not do that so only metallurgical analysis would determine what is what. That would slow the investigation somewhat, delaying it’s outcome.

        Nasty business, but this is the nature of the game now.

        Vote UKIP :-D

        Like

        • 60
          Tim Yeo-Yo says:

          Are they actually that thick that they think investigators would fall for that?

          I thought most of these separatists were drunk half of the time. Clearly they’re actually off their tits 99% of the time.

          Like

      • 69
        Hugh Janus says:

        They can collect all the fragments they like. Plugging all the shrapnel holes in the aircraft’s skin will be a bit more of a challenge!

        Like

    • 22
      MSM says:

      Breaking News: Vlad Putin seen rummaging around in MH17 debris. What’s he got to hide ?

      Like

    • 26
      Bill Quango MP says:

      I wonder why they even tried this. They will never be able to disguise the explosive used, the impact point. The pieces of warhead and missile casing. Even the paint.

      The bodies may well contain fragments of missile. or if not, certainly fragments from the explosion that will have blown into them, indicating an external explosion.

      Swapping a wheel over or a radar screen won’t do much. Except confirm the attempts to cover up the tragedy.

      And the cover up will be an admission of guilt.

      very dumb to have even attempted it.

      Like

      • 32
        concrete pump says:

        Might not be an impact point, not for the warhead anyway.

        Could have detonated within close proximity.

        Which could fuck things up a bit.

        Like

        • 41
          Fishy says:

          It probably did.

          Here are photos from a respected Dutch photographer. Shrapnel impact can clearly be see on parts of the fuselage.

          https://secure.flickr.com/photos/jeroenakkermans/

          Like

          • Bill Quango MP says:

            Thanks for that link, Thousands of photos on there already. I have no real idea what the marks mean. Other than the wing hole ones are punched from outside in, like a bullet hole in metal.
            I suspect the investigators will have hundreds of similar components telling them similar stories.

            Cover up will surely fail. And the idea of an air-to-air ? Whose air?
            It’s farcical.

            Like

        • 58
          Anonymous says:

          With the kind of computer analysis available now ( cf CERN ) it will be done when enough data points are complete. Getting the data will take the time.

          Like

          • Vlad the Impaler Putin. says:

            It will take time and hopefully the world will have other things to think about like winter gas and oil.
            If not I am sure I can instigate a serious international situation for the west to move onto.

            Like

      • 35

        They may underestimate the advances in forensics which have been made here.

        Looking at the S’molensk crash demonstrates where their mindset is in dealing with air accident investigations.

        This also distracts attention away from R’ussia back to the ‘Separatists’ as being bad guys.

        That will work for R’ussia – kindasorta – until maybe the SBU release intercepts of the orders from S’trelkov etc. telling the guys that M’oscow wants them to do this.

        It’s not dumb as such – it is being done for a calculated propaganda reason and to deny a safe investigation.

        If the fragments of Russian buck are extracted from bodies for example, who’s to say the Separatists did not put those there when there is apparent evidence of an air-air strike ?

        Decomposition of the bodies will create acids that may help conceal some of this, just FYI.

        Vote UKIP :-D

        Like

    • 43
      the Black Death says:

      earlier they said uk intelligence has evidence that rebels might have thought about scattering other plane parts

      Like

      • 50

        It would be expected as part of the cover up and a delaying tactic.

        They have shot down a lot of planes recently with non-buk systems so should have plenty of parts. May have taken a while to get those gathered and transported to the area, hence some of the delays with getting the bodies out.

        Vote UKIP :-D

        Like

        • 55
          the Black Death says:

          why would it be expected ? air-air missile parts would make sense.
          I don’t believe anything since the dodgy dossier.
          I ask myself ” Who has the most to gain from this”.

          Like

          • R’ussia mainly benefits because it provides pretext to escalate their activities in U’kraine.

            They do appear to be doubling down now.

            Certainly does not benefit anyone else – including the Useful Idiots who shot the plane down.

            Vote UKIP :-D

            Like

          • Tim Yeo-Yo says:

            Do these separatist fukwits not realise it’s 2014 and not 1964?

            Like

          • the Black Death says:

            how can it possibly provide a pretext to increase activity in Ukraine ?

            Like

  9. 12
    Anonymous says:

    Do you all really need to make jokes about people’s jobs? 200 people are set to lose their income and you have to make some political point. The staff aren’t to blame for what top brass want in the paper.

    Like

    • 54
      Oooo look over there ,no not this way says:

      Probably the 200 on their bikes will get replaced by Polish or Lithuanian’s, staff, much cheaper than ethnics and politer too, it’s happening around the North West so why not elsewhere, may be cheaper for a while but if people have no money especially after 2015 when Liebour get back in, the businesses will be like the sailing boats gone forever, only to be replaced by replica Viking boats with diesel engines and rowing oars.

      Like

      • 63
        The Black Fingernail says:

        One would hope that the journo’s who have been largely silent on mass immigration and the impact upon the people would indeed lose their jobs to ‘hard-working’ eastern European’s … like everyone else. Next up … politicians.

        Like

  10. 13
    Caroline "Screaming Banshee" Criado-Perez says:

    Stop oppressing me with your patriarchy and r4pe culture.

    Another story about a white male – surprise surprise. We need a #genderbalancedmedia law and we need it now – who is with me? Caitlin Moran and Hadley Freeman have already joined my campaign – 50% of all stories must be about women and written by women.

    Like

    • 91
      BBC - Labour Says, Labour Says. says:

      Don’t worry Caroline we will always support you as a major part of our agenda.

      Like

  11. 18
    Anonymous says:

    This means that the workforce is still great than the combined combination of the Express & the Star!

    Like

  12. 20

    Glad to see it ay the REAL Express & Star:

    http://www.expressandstar.com/

    Like

  13. 23
    what a gay dave says:

    Has anyone noticed that the front page of the express always seems to be a health story or about the weather

    Like

    • 30
      CHRIST ON A BIKE! says:

      They know their readership. I.E Oldies who mostly winge about their ills and sicks and the weather.

      Like

    • 33
      Polly Toynbee says:

      I know silly isn’t it.
      Have you seen our latest front page?
      A polar bear balancing on an ice cube outside a blown up house in Gaza.
      Now that’s quality journalism.

      Like

    • 81
      Winston Smith says:

      The average age of the Express reader is 83 so the weather, health and the latest siting of Lady Di are very important.

      Like

  14. 28
    CHRIST ON A BIKE! says:

    So they now employ as many people as they have readers then.

    Like

  15. 36

    I have made a really nice loom band bracelet today. I am feeling a bit lonely though. I want to be a well-paid, jet-setting pundit like Tony.

    Like

  16. 46
    HowMuch? says:

    A source in the newsroom tells MediaGuido:
    “How nice of Desmond to use his papers to promote his sh*t Channel 5 programmes, then get rid of the staff who helped him sell it for £450 million.”

    ‘A source’ – was that Rupert, [or one of his minions more likely], who told you to write that Guido ?

    And as you appear to support an anonymous personal slight on a ‘grasping’ media baron…your resignation from The Sun is expected forthwith…

    Like

  17. 48
    Wtf is going on says:

    Not a single mention of bumsex today.

    Like

  18. 71

    The axe is being swung, out with the old and in with the new

    Like

  19. 74
    Oh, really? says:

    Oh, not the Express and Star? But the Daily Express and Daily Star? The people of Upper Gornal will sleep soundly, now.

    Like

  20. 80
    Robbie says:

    I’m sure the staff will enjoy being redeployed to TV X if the above is anthing to go by :-/

    Like


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Rob Colvile reviews Russell Brand’s new book:

“Oddly, the person I feel sorriest for isn’t Brand himself – although he certainly comes across as a rather pitiable figure, projecting his own brokenness on to the world around him – but Johann Hari. Drummed out of Fleet Street for plagiarism, the former Independent columnist has washed up as “my mate Johann, who’s been doing research for this book”. For a genuinely talented polemicist, it would have been a humbling experience to have to treat this sub-undergraduate dross as the scintillating wisdom of a philosopher-king.”



Mycroft says:

Have you read the last bit of Animal Farm?

You know where the animals are looking through the Farmhouse window?

My TV screen was that window at lunch-time today.

Be careful, the sudden self-congratulatory tone, the slightly pudgy outline of indulgence and you become exactly what you should despise.

The jolly face of the Quisling Cameron poses for your camera has mesmerised and deceived you, you who were once not so deceived.

You were no firebrand, you were a damp squib in my opinion, sorry.

You need a damned good kick up the ahse!


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