July 23rd, 2014

Desmond Wields Axe: 200 Out at Express and Star

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Bosses as the Daily Express and Daily Star have this morning sent a letter to employees informing them that 200 jobs are to go, offering redundancies to contracted staff. This means the workforce across both papers will be reduced from 650 to 450. A source in the newsroom tells MediaGuido“How nice of Desmond to use his papers to promote his sh*t Channel 5 programmes, then get rid of the staff who helped him sell it for £450 million.” A union meeting is planned this afternoon at head office…


93 Comments

  1. 1
    Jimmy says:

    Why are you ignoring David Ward’s outrageous tweet in this article?

  2. 2
    concrete pump says:

    Newspapers minus any news.

  3. 3
    Owen Jones says:

    Punch it in right up to the elbow.

  4. 4
    Carney Easing says:

    Can someone please ask Princess Di if we are going to have a heatwave.

  5. 5
    Handy Pandy TonyPandy says:

    Lord Leon my be hot around his collar !

  6. 6
    Sue Denim says:

    It takes 650 people to produce those “newspapers”?

  7. 7
    A person under 35 says:

    What is a newspaper? is it like a tweet?

  8. 8
    Anonymous says:

    Not anymore.

  9. 9
    Bomber Harris says:

    Finally a LibDem who can understand why I wanted to bomb the bollocks out of the Germans.

  10. 10
    Bill Quango MP says:

    So you can be old enough to have sex, but if you photograph yourself nude and send that photo you are breaking the law.

    Even if you send it to yourself. Or your partner, if they are under 18.
    You are breaking the law.

    Over to you Hattie! It was your law.

  11. 11

    This explains why they are chopping up the plane into small pieces, as was done in S’molensk:

    Will slow down the investigation, but shouldn’t fool the investigators. They would be looking out for this in any case.

    Vote UKIP :-D

  12. 12
    Anonymous says:

    Do you all really need to make jokes about people’s jobs? 200 people are set to lose their income and you have to make some political point. The staff aren’t to blame for what top brass want in the paper.

  13. 13
    Caroline "Screaming Banshee" Criado-Perez says:

    Stop oppressing me with your patriarchy and r4pe culture.

    Another story about a white male – surprise surprise. We need a #genderbalancedmedia law and we need it now – who is with me? Caitlin Moran and Hadley Freeman have already joined my campaign – 50% of all stories must be about women and written by women.

  14. 14
    A teacher under 35 says:

    Tories used them to spread fear and propaganda amongst the poor shoeless northerners in the 1980’s.

  15. 15
    Jihad Jenny says:

    The UK was wrong to bomb Nazi Germany and should have had a negotiated settlement with Herr Hitler and his supporters.

    The Soviets, British empire and United States surrounded Nazi Germany and prevented the people there having employment opportunities or medical care or education. Nazi Germany was just a sealed in prison camp where the inmates had no choice but to resort to V1 and V2 rocket attacks that couldn’t begin to threaten the power of the United States 8th airforce or Bomber Command.

    it was a totally disproportionate attack and the subsequent invasion of the German homeland was a war crime

  16. 16
    rick says:

    Don’t try and make sense of anything, today. We live in an alternative universe.

  17. 17
    concrete pump says:

    Sexting and Harriet Harman in the same post.

    Thanks Bill.

  18. 18
    Anonymous says:

    This means that the workforce is still great than the combined combination of the Express & the Star!

  19. 19
    Diana Abbott says:

    If I sent a nude photograph of myself not only would it be against the law but a humanitarian crime.

  20. 20

    Glad to see it ay the REAL Express & Star:

    http://www.expressandstar.com/

  21. 21
    CHRIST ON A BIKE! says:

    I don’t know about adding parts, but you can bet they sure as hell trying to remove missile fragments.

  22. 22
    MSM says:

    Breaking News: Vlad Putin seen rummaging around in MH17 debris. What’s he got to hide ?

  23. 23
    what a gay dave says:

    Has anyone noticed that the front page of the express always seems to be a health story or about the weather

  24. 24
    Lieborg cum dump Luciana Berger says:

    You would make a dog puke.

  25. 25

    Could asparagus cure bubonic plague?
    Can England win?
    Is this Maddy?
    Could block paving double the value of YOUR house?

    ….and other Questions To Which The Answer Is Obviously ‘No’.

  26. 26
    Bill Quango MP says:

    I wonder why they even tried this. They will never be able to disguise the explosive used, the impact point. The pieces of warhead and missile casing. Even the paint.

    The bodies may well contain fragments of missile. or if not, certainly fragments from the explosion that will have blown into them, indicating an external explosion.

    Swapping a wheel over or a radar screen won’t do much. Except confirm the attempts to cover up the tragedy.

    And the cover up will be an admission of guilt.

    very dumb to have even attempted it.

  27. 27

    This is our final territorial demand in Europe!!

  28. 28
    CHRIST ON A BIKE! says:

    So they now employ as many people as they have readers then.

  29. 29

    No – that is impractical.

    They are trying to still make case about air-air bringing the plane down. The damage on the target plane has a different pattern.

    By adding parts they are hoping to confuse the investigators and shift their judgement (which will be based on a probability / opinion) towards air-air rather than SAM.

    They may hopefully screw up and add parts which have non-Boeing serial numbers – that would get noticed. If they are smart then they will not do that so only metallurgical analysis would determine what is what. That would slow the investigation somewhat, delaying it’s outcome.

    Nasty business, but this is the nature of the game now.

    Vote UKIP :-D

  30. 30
    CHRIST ON A BIKE! says:

    They know their readership. I.E Oldies who mostly winge about their ills and sicks and the weather.

  31. 31
    Bill Quango MP says:

    But now you have put the image of a nude, legs apart, Hattie, reclining in a paddling pool in the garden, selfieing into people’s minds.

    Some may go mad.

  32. 32
    concrete pump says:

    Might not be an impact point, not for the warhead anyway.

    Could have detonated within close proximity.

    Which could fuck things up a bit.

  33. 33
    Polly Toynbee says:

    I know silly isn’t it.
    Have you seen our latest front page?
    A polar bear balancing on an ice cube outside a blown up house in Gaza.
    Now that’s quality journalism.

  34. 34
    Bill Quango MP says:

    I’d give a ‘like’ to that post .

    if i could.

  35. 35

    They may underestimate the advances in forensics which have been made here.

    Looking at the S’molensk crash demonstrates where their mindset is in dealing with air accident investigations.

    This also distracts attention away from R’ussia back to the ‘Separatists’ as being bad guys.

    That will work for R’ussia – kindasorta – until maybe the SBU release intercepts of the orders from S’trelkov etc. telling the guys that M’oscow wants them to do this.

    It’s not dumb as such – it is being done for a calculated propaganda reason and to deny a safe investigation.

    If the fragments of Russian buck are extracted from bodies for example, who’s to say the Separatists did not put those there when there is apparent evidence of an air-air strike ?

    Decomposition of the bodies will create acids that may help conceal some of this, just FYI.

    Vote UKIP :-D

  36. 36

    I have made a really nice loom band bracelet today. I am feeling a bit lonely though. I want to be a well-paid, jet-setting pundit like Tony.

  37. 37
    Engineer says:

    And in the not-too-distant future, minus paper as well.

  38. 38
    Jimmy says:

    Wow. I thought even in rightie circles that argument was no longer fashionable.

  39. 39
    Vlad the Loudhailer says:

    I don’t understand how this liking works either.

  40. 40
    Ed Milibellend PM says:

    You’ll have plenty of time for that next year.

  41. 41
    Fishy says:

    It probably did.

    Here are photos from a respected Dutch photographer. Shrapnel impact can clearly be see on parts of the fuselage.

    https://secure.flickr.com/photos/jeroenakkermans/

  42. 42
    Vlad the Loudhailer says:

    Its done for me, I’ve just fallen out of bed!

  43. 43
    the Black Death says:

    earlier they said uk intelligence has evidence that rebels might have thought about scattering other plane parts

  44. 44
    Gordon Brown says:

    I eat poo!

  45. 45
    Yam Yam says:

    Arr, yowm roite ower kid. I woz a bit wurrid for a minit.

  46. 46
    HowMuch? says:

    A source in the newsroom tells MediaGuido:
    “How nice of Desmond to use his papers to promote his sh*t Channel 5 programmes, then get rid of the staff who helped him sell it for £450 million.”

    ‘A source’ – was that Rupert, [or one of his minions more likely], who told you to write that Guido ?

    And as you appear to support an anonymous personal slight on a ‘grasping’ media baron…your resignation from The Sun is expected forthwith…

  47. 47
    LOL says:

    Where’s the anti P@lest!ne angle in this post?

  48. 48
    Wtf is going on says:

    Not a single mention of bumsex today.

  49. 49
    Satire is dead says:

    Jimmy, Jimmy Jimmy. Look for an analogy in there.

  50. 50

    It would be expected as part of the cover up and a delaying tactic.

    They have shot down a lot of planes recently with non-buk systems so should have plenty of parts. May have taken a while to get those gathered and transported to the area, hence some of the delays with getting the bodies out.

    Vote UKIP :-D

  51. 51
    Bi Curious George says:

    You know when you have a turd blocking the bog and you have to smash it up using a brush?
    Is that what bumsex is like?

  52. 52
  53. 53
    David Cameron says:

    Fap fap fap

  54. 54
    Oooo look over there ,no not this way says:

    Probably the 200 on their bikes will get replaced by Polish or Lithuanian’s, staff, much cheaper than ethnics and politer too, it’s happening around the North West so why not elsewhere, may be cheaper for a while but if people have no money especially after 2015 when Liebour get back in, the businesses will be like the sailing boats gone forever, only to be replaced by replica Viking boats with diesel engines and rowing oars.

  55. 55
    the Black Death says:

    why would it be expected ? air-air missile parts would make sense.
    I don’t believe anything since the dodgy dossier.
    I ask myself ” Who has the most to gain from this”.

  56. 56
    Norma Stitz says:

    Bloody hell. I just clicked on ‘like’ and my cursor froze and the whole screen began flashing. I had to unplug and restart. (Mac, with Firefox) Something badly wrong!

  57. 57

    R’ussia mainly benefits because it provides pretext to escalate their activities in U’kraine.

    They do appear to be doubling down now.

    Certainly does not benefit anyone else – including the Useful Idiots who shot the plane down.

    Vote UKIP :-D

  58. 58
    Anonymous says:

    With the kind of computer analysis available now ( cf CERN ) it will be done when enough data points are complete. Getting the data will take the time.

  59. 59
    Tim Yeo-Yo says:

    At least that should get rid of this blogs ginger step kid, Jimmy, for a while.

    That picture will be firmly locked in his wank bank along with Tony B’lair. He’ll be trapping away furiously (is there any other way for lefties?) all afternoon.

  60. 60
    Tim Yeo-Yo says:

    Are they actually that thick that they think investigators would fall for that?

    I thought most of these separatists were drunk half of the time. Clearly they’re actually off their tits 99% of the time.

  61. 61
    Tim Yeo-Yo says:

    Do these separatist fukwits not realise it’s 2014 and not 1964?

  62. 62
    Bill Quango MP says:

    Thanks for that link, Thousands of photos on there already. I have no real idea what the marks mean. Other than the wing hole ones are punched from outside in, like a bullet hole in metal.
    I suspect the investigators will have hundreds of similar components telling them similar stories.

    Cover up will surely fail. And the idea of an air-to-air ? Whose air?
    It’s farcical.

  63. 63
    The Black Fingernail says:

    One would hope that the journo’s who have been largely silent on mass immigration and the impact upon the people would indeed lose their jobs to ‘hard-working’ eastern European’s … like everyone else. Next up … politicians.

  64. 64
    Tim Yeo-Yo says:

    frapping not trapping!

  65. 65
    The two Muppets says:

    What has happened to this blog ?

  66. 66
    Sue Denim says:

    Same problem with PC and Firefox and AdBlock.

    It used to work once.

  67. 67
    Hugh Janus says:

    Because it’s been rocketed to death in the preceding three articles, perhaps…?!

  68. 68
    concrete pump says:

    Fapping.

  69. 69
    Hugh Janus says:

    They can collect all the fragments they like. Plugging all the shrapnel holes in the aircraft’s skin will be a bit more of a challenge!

  70. 70
    the Black Death says:

    how can it possibly provide a pretext to increase activity in Ukraine ?

  71. 71

    The axe is being swung, out with the old and in with the new

  72. 72
    Tim Yeo-Yo says:

    Correct. Spoil chiclet doesn’t like the damn word!

  73. 73
    inside out says:

    If you are under 18yrs sending a topless picture is illegal,but you can buy the Sun,and see page 3 at any age.The world has gone mad

  74. 74
    Oh, really? says:

    Oh, not the Express and Star? But the Daily Express and Daily Star? The people of Upper Gornal will sleep soundly, now.

  75. 75
    Fred the pensioner says:

    Yup I get that too with Firefox browser with Yahoo. Some worms must have crawled in. Plus, Yahoo takes a fucking age to load and also crashed my computer a few times as it tries to load so much shit on the front page all at the same time.

  76. 76
    The Growler says:

    When is Murdoch going to start firing Sun and Times journos and contributors, once one lot starts the others follow, Independent, Guardian, Torygraph, Sexpress group, who next? News Corp, Wail, Mirror group, where will the sword fall next.

  77. 77
    The Growler says:

    They don’t print them selves, its all sent out to regional printers.

  78. 78
    Lieutenant Colonel Bill Kilgore says:

    Charlie don’t surf
    Jimmy don’t do satire

  79. 79
    Disinterested Onanist says:

    What about Asian Babes?

  80. 80
    Robbie says:

    I’m sure the staff will enjoy being redeployed to TV X if the above is anthing to go by :-/

  81. 81
    Winston Smith says:

    The average age of the Express reader is 83 so the weather, health and the latest siting of Lady Di are very important.

  82. 82
    Rupert says:

    I offered Hattie 50 quid to get her tits out for page three, but when the poor cow did they were hanging down to her belly. As for that Yvette sheila, stripped to the waist they were smaller than Tom Daley’s. Thats another 100 quid down the crapper

  83. 83
    Rupert says:

    That’s Rachel Reeves taking it like a man sport

  84. 84
    Barracco Barner says:

    So good they named him twice!

  85. 85
    Barracco Barner says:

    Er, that’s “ehr kid”, not “ower kid”, in’t it?

  86. 86
    Barracco Barner says:

    Mindbleach! NOW!!

  87. 87
    Express & Star, Wolverhampton, UK says:

    We protest as we are not sacking any employees as your article states and certainly not the figures you mention which is more than we actually employ.
    It could be that your grammar (sic) is as bad a under Mr Blair’s education regime, in which case we will still not forgive you.

  88. 88
    Dirty Desmond. says:

    I only offered £25 but did not publish as I respect the intelligence and moral attitude of my customers.

  89. 89
    Fido and the Mutt Brigade says:

    That is an insult to all dogs.

  90. 90
    Vlad the Impaler Putin. says:

    It will take time and hopefully the world will have other things to think about like winter gas and oil.
    If not I am sure I can instigate a serious international situation for the west to move onto.

  91. 91
    BBC - Labour Says, Labour Says. says:

    Don’t worry Caroline we will always support you as a major part of our agenda.

  92. 92
    World Opinion says:

    We know as the stench is all around the world.
    Only the UN (Useless Nincompoops) would employ such a cretin.

  93. 93
    Lower Gornal says:

    We are more influential than them.


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