Well this is just about the best thing that Comment is Free have ever published. For reasons such as ‘classism, sexism, anti-environmentalism bordering on racism’, kids must be weaned off of the evil that is Thomas the Tank Engine:

“For one, these trains perform tasks dictated by their imperious, little white boss, Sir Topham Hatt (also known as The Fat Controller), whose attire of a top hat, tuxedo and big round belly is just a little too obvious. Basically, he’s the Monopoly dictator of their funky little island.”

“For the record, all the “villains” on Thomas and Friends are the dirty diesel engines. I’d like to think there was a good environmental message in there, but when the good engines pump out white smoke and the bad engines pump out black smoke – and they areall pumping out smoke – it’s not hard to make the leap into the race territory.”

It’s not white smoke you numpty, it’s steam. They are steam engines. Little racist steam engines. Give me strength…