July 21st, 2014

Starmer to Miliband: I Like You, Just As You Are
Former CPS Boss Favourite for Holborn Safe Seat

The former CPS Director of Public Prosecutions Keir Starmer – said to be the inspiration for Bridget Jones’ lover Mark Darcy – has been glued to Miliband’s side of late. Not only is he undertaking a  legal review for the party for free, he was on the leader’s table at Labour’s recent gala fundraiser. He’s been a loyal voice on the airwaves for a few months now.

As revealed in yesterday’s Sun on Sunday, Keir is the front runner for a very safe London seat. Tomorrow, veteran Labour MP Frank Dobson will officially announce he is standing down and Starmer is Labour insiders’ favourite to be the next MP for Holborn – home to lawyers and the High Courts. It seems Starmer’s brown nosing could be about to pay off.

“Wait a minute… nice boys don’t kiss ass like that.”

“Oh, yes, they f**king do…”


  1. 1
    Col. Nut says:



    • 2
      And he will take his chosen place in Westminster and he will achieve Lord Starmer says:

      Some say Mark Darcy, others say Marked Arsey.


      • 26
        Toby Belching-Felcher says:

        That c unt Starmer is so far up his own arse his glans is tickling his tonsils.


    • 7
      UKIP says:

      Not round these ways it isn’t you snail eating apologist.


    • 10
      Witty Monker says:

      So a senior ‘impartial’ public figure during the Labour years was actually a closet Labour man?



      • 18
        Jimmy says:

        Anyone worthwhile with a serious interest in public service will inevitably be a Labour supporter.


        • 27
          E L Whisty (Head Groundsman) says:

          An interesting opinion. I was employed in the public sector for many years and started out as an idealistic youngster who eventually realised that Labour was run by an elitist bunch of middle and upper class hypocrites. I strongly believe in the need for effective and compassionate public services and welfare provision. I also believe that most Labour politicians are self obsessed, dishonest, ambitious shysters who care almost entirely about themselves.

          So, in terms of your argument, you would have to conclude that I am not worthwhile.

          Which would make you a twerp.


          • Toby Belching-Felcher says:

            “I strongly believe in the need for effective and compassionate public services and welfare provision. ”

            Eh? WTF are you doing on this website then?

            Go fuck off to http://www.wetdripbleedingheartcissy.com


          • Dangerous Brian says:

            Our lovely Jimmy, a twerp, heaven forfend.


          • táxpáyér says:

            You can be “compassionate” with your own money, it’s called charity.

            Government failure reward systems makes more problem feckless people, and is funded by fining workers with the side effect of causing unemployment.


        • 29
          Wikipedia says:

          Thanks, we have been looking for an example of the ‘opposite of a tautology’.

          The words Labour and worthwhile demonstrate contradiction perfectly.

          We shall ask Chukka to update the Wiki.


        • 63
          St Martins Home For The Criminally Insane says:

          Oh good! I was wondering where you’d got to! Come on now, don’t make me call the orderly’s again…


        • 64
          Dorkass says:

          Anyone worthwhile with a serious interest in public toilets will inevitably be a Labour supporter.


        • 69
          Vlad the Loudhailer says:

          Yes Jimmy but they need to able to count, do simple mathematics and be capable of telling the truth, all of which are beyond socialists.


        • 76


          Don’t go changing, to try and please me
          You never let me down before
          Don’t imagine you’re too familiar
          And I don’t see you anymore
          I would not leave you in times of trouble
          We never could have come this far
          I took the good times, I’ll take the bad times
          I’ll take you just the way you are


      • 70
        Socialism = Starvation says:

        What’s closet about him and Labour? His first name was ‘Keir’ after Keir Hardie, what sort of parents give their child a politician’s first name? He never distanced himself from his pedigree, my chum.


        • 71
          Jethro says:

          72 Call me slow-witted [we do, we do!] but I’d always jus’ thought it was like ‘Kyle’ – a sort of non-name that rootless, oofy parents give their even-more arriviste children: never thought he was ‘hiding in sight’, ‘though it explains many of the perverse decisions of the CPS: ‘he might be guilty as hell, but we’ll let him off, so that he will vote for us, his children will vote for us…’ [Remember, but for Labour and Gordon Brown,pbuh, we would have remained forever ground down into the middle-classes by those terribly middle-class TORIES!…]


        • 77

          Should have fedhim WINALOT as a boy …


    • 12
      Ghost of Lady Thatcher says:

      So let’s see the NHS, the legal profession, the teaching “profession”, the police are all in the hands of Marxist Pilgrims and Labour Luvvies?

      Only one in five white Britons votes Labour but the polls predict a Labour landslide?

      Will hte last person leaving the country please turn out the lights


  2. 3

    It is not what you know, its who you arse kiss!


    • 20
      Mycroft says:

      Could this be the same person of that name that when in high office refused to act on numerous reports about a certain Mr. J.Savile of Yorkshire regarding some ‘impossible to believe’ accusations about him being nearer to Satan than Saintly…

      Who then had the audacity to make headlines saying ‘failure to report child abuse’ should be prosecuted.

      So this over-weening f’ckwit on the one hand does sweet FA when he had the power to and then says those that don’t (and presumably didn’t… ie himself) should be prosecuted.

      So we first discover the man’s a c’nt, a useless c’nt, worse than that he’s duplicitous c’nt and now we find he’s a left-leaning, elitist, useless and duplicitous c’nt.

      Britian’s Got Talent.

      Liked by 2 people

      • 33
        Get thee behind me Santa says:

        Andrew ‘tetchy’ Marr’s interview / paper review with him a few weeks ago was, guess what….shite. He should have pulled the smarmy little shit’s kecks down on national TV and given him a thrashing.



      • 45
        Dangerous Brian says:

        Another Labour luvvie in thrall to the Beeb, its “stars” and all the horrible c*nts that run it.


        • 51
          Mycroft says:

          They’re not called ‘stars’ now… they’re called ‘talent’.

          Oh really?

          So in the modern idiom Mr J Savile of Yorkshire was ‘talent’ was he?

          As was presumably Mr R Harris of Oz was equally such a thing.


  3. 4
    Court of Public Opinion says:



  4. 5

    Not dark enough *innocent face*


  5. 6
    Mr Woy says:

    Some serious bum licking going on here. Safe seat followed by failure followed by a gong… all for sucking some arse.


  6. 9
    Ian Katz says:

    Our left wing putsch is complete:

    “Evan Davis to take over from Paxman as Newsnight anchor”


    We are now well placed to control the attitudes of those who think they are bright but really are stupid enough to believe that the BBC is unbiased.
    And timed well for the election too.


    • 13
      Cinna says:

      Newsnight anchor, eh? He can add that to all the other bits of metal he carries around on his body then.


    • 16
      The BBC are cunts says:

      Why bother to watch that load of crap now, anyway ?


      • 44
        Bill Quango MP says:

        Its a funny thing, but I used to watch Newsnight. At least once or twice a week.
        But a few years back it had become such a pointless program I just stopped.

        And so did most people I know. Those that used to watch a bit of Newsnight before bed, just did something else instead.

        Now no one I know watches it.


    • 38
      Owen Triumph Sodomite Jones says:

      Ooooooh…..can’t wait to get in his green room!


  7. 19
    Fishy says:

    So, Starmer de-cloaks and emerges as fully fledged Socialist.

    Could this be the answer to puzzling rule that when a Guardian journo hacks a phone, it is in the public interest…but when a journo works for the sworn enemy, the evil Murdoch, they go down?


  8. 21
    Ha*vey Pro*tor says:

    Spank me!


  9. 22
    Legal Advice, Legal Analysis, Legal Commentary says:

    What have the Labour Party, through Watson been very involved with. Nonce hunting. Watsons commentary, is not about evidence, allegations or here is a victim wheres the justice. Its about a lack of investigations in the past.

    Is Keir Starmer supreme wizard of the Nonce Investigators?


  10. 24
    Dangerous Brian says:

    At least Mr Starmer is actually a member of the normal working classes who has made his way up the greasy pole by dint of his hard work, honesty, fair mindedness and integrity and not just another lefty placeman.


  11. 25
    Ballymoney Boy says:

    He is Sir Keir nowadays, Guido.


    • 37
      Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:

      Sir Starmer ?? I’ve got a s-s-s-s-stammer as well.


    • 42
      A bit of a mouthful says:

      SirKeir Cock Ed?


    • 49
      táxpáyér says:

      Sir Keir Starmer
      tried to be a charmer
      He failed tout de suite
      so he got a safe seat.


    • 65
      English Republican says:

      Bend over and I’ll show you what I think of your ‘Lords and Ladies’ pal. Honestly, I’m sure certain people like you actually like being ‘subjects’ and not citizens. Pathetic, subservient urchin.


  12. 28
    Ed Baconbutty says:

    Which former leader of the Labour Party?


  13. 31
    Of the same mould, or just mouldy? says:

    Is it me or does the picture show the man to have the same mad-eyed narcissic stare of one Tony Blair?


  14. 35
  15. 40
    Bill Quango MP says:

    Is he a good choice to be a responsible person in public office?

    Well on the one hand, he decided Newspaper seller Ian Tomlison didn’t deserve an inquest after the plod smacked him one, and he later collapsed and died.

    Then he insisted the bloke who tweeted he was fed up with airports and would blow them up SHOULD be prosecuted, despite the obvious lack of any serious intent to commit any type of terrorism act at all.

    But on the other Stammer was the man who said Vikki P and Chris Huhne SHOULD stand trial for generally being lying toerags.

    So…hard to call real…


    • 53
      With all due respect, BQ MP says:

      Hard to call? He thinks Labour are good. After they’d fucked up this country and quite a few others, he thinks Labour are good.

      FFS. “Is he a good choice to be a responsible person in public office?”

      Errr.. NO!


  16. 43
    Anonymous says:


  17. 46
    Calamity Clegg, Chief Cockroach says:

    Viperous Vince Cable has allegedly blocked the sale of the Students Loan book, struck down the privatisation of the Land Registry and carped about Tory plans to improve trade union strike laws.

    Why doesn’t the ancient fossil just fuck right off ?


  18. 47
    Brian J. says:

    Ashcroft’s latest poll is out: Lab 35 (-1), Con 27 (-5), UKIP 17 (+3), Green 7 (+1), LibDem 7 (nc).

    Now that was a well-executed reshuffle, Dave!


  19. 50
    Cam = dead meat says:

    Call the men in grey suits….call the men in grey suits…call the men in grey suits…etc


  20. 54
    Ukraine and Gaza Statement says:

    Anybody watching the above? Hilarious lefty clowns who appear to be acting as spokespersons for Hamas.

    Hattie filling in was hopeless but did plug Ed’s US visit.

    Seems to be cross party agreement of a carpeting for Moscow but no clue as to how to do it as France, Germany and Italy aren’t interested.


    • 57
      One-term Dave says:

      I’m going to bally well show those Ruskies what for, what what!

      I’ve jolly well printed a picture of our new aircraft carrier, and a picture of the carrier I scrapped, and stuck them together as a montage so it looks like we’ve got two aircraft carriers, and then I’ve drawn some aeroplanes on them to show what they’d look like if they had planes, and I’ve added some photos of all the troops I’ve sacked and tanks I’ve had scrapped and I’m going to send that montage to that chappie in Moscow. By jove, that’ll scare the nasty little blighter, what what?

      You’re all safe with me! Now, time to shovel £billions of foreign aid in the direction of some 3rd-world dictator who hates our guts.

      Tally ho!


      • 60
        Gordon McBreath says:

        I ordered an aircraft carrier.
        Only I waited until the Tories would have to pay for it.

        That’s why its 20 years too late.



  21. 56
    Roma Bert. says:

    Ed Militit, does he have a more famous brother called David? :)


    • 79
      Musco Vite says:

      He does indeed. He was the one the Russian Foreign Minister told to get lost and fuck off back home a few years ago.


  22. 62
    Monkey Boy says:

    And i thought it was going to be Herr Doktor Commander jamshed Ali baba Dizaei. The right man for Ali Baba land


  23. 67
    One, 2, miss a few, 99, 100! says:

    Another Oxbridge buffoon. Great, put him next to the other useless pile of self-serving PPE trash. As far as Labour are concerned, this is what ‘Representing the People’ is all about. They’ll ram ‘multiculturalism’ and Race down our throats, but when it comes to actually representing ‘Little White Man’ they cannot even do that correctly. Any bets this guy is also a millionaire who’s donated substantial amounts of money to the Labour Party? Buying Peerages have moved from the ‘Lords’ to the House now. It’s so patently obvious, it’s actually above contempt. Fk ‘em all.


    • 82
      English Heretic says:

      Oxbridge but not PPE if WiKi is right:

      Starmer was the second of four children. He was named after former Labour Party leader and socialist Keir Hardie.[3] He was educated at Reigate Grammar School. He gained a 1st class degree of Bachelor of Laws from the University of Leeds in 1985 and as a member of St Edmund Hall, Oxford, a degree of Bachelor of Civil Law from the University of Oxford in 1986.

      These public sector Labour types are just entitled to rule over us eh? The new aristocracy, same as the old one….


  24. 68
    Labour voting thicko says:

    I’d vote for him. wotshisname?


    • 72

      70 You vote for him – you know it’s right! Don’t want to vote for one of those k*w*e*rs from Oxford or Cambridge (Cambridge – you know, where all those right-wing spies came from: and as for Oxford!). No, dear, you vote for wotshisname: he’s not one of those ‘see-how-the-wind-blows’ men: he’s a man of principle. He’s the one to look after people like us, people with first Degrees from Leeds, and further Degrees from Oxford (Yes, Oxford: you know, where they refused Maggie an Honorary Degree). He’s ever so clever, you know: not just a Barrister, but a Q. C…
      Yes, dear, ‘Queen’s Counsel’, I know. But he’s ever so republican really, and at heart – allows his Driver (I nearly said ‘Chauffeur!’) – to call him ‘Keir’, you know.
      … …. …..


    • 75

      Idiots like you would vote for a monkey in a red rosette.


  25. 73
    Where's my fucking owl says:

    Yon Starmer has a lean and hungry look.


  26. 81
    Anonymous says:

    “is he undertaking a legal review for the party for free”
    Then what happens? If he finds them guilty, of abandoning the ideology that spawned them?


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