July 17th, 2014

Ruffley Pulls Out of Local Radio Interview

BBC Radio Suffolk have just announced that the under pressure David Ruffley has cancelled a long-standing appointment to be interviewed tomorrow (Friday) due to a “diary clash”. They confirmed half an ago that when contacted earlier in the week the diary clash had not been noticed. Suffolk voters will be disappointed at not being able to hear him explain his police caution. He won’t be able to avoid the media during an election campaign…


  1. 1
  2. 2
    Michael Gove says:


  3. 3
    What it looks like says:

    MP with mental health problems hounded by top political blogger.

  4. 4
    A typical resident of Suffolk says:

    Radio be the work of the Devil himself, so it be. Disembodied voices speaking through walls without no sight of he who’er speaketh it? The work of Satan himself, without a doubt. May the good Lord have mercy on those poor souls who invite the Devil into their homesteads, aye.

  5. 5
    Eric Schön says:

    “MP with mental health problems”

    Is there any other kind?

  6. 6
    Owen says:

    my farts smell of s-e-m-e-n

  7. 7
    or... says:

    MP who is a complete cuunt hounded by political blooger.

  8. 8
    NO SEATS NIGEL says:

    less than 10% in the polls

    shit the bed

  9. 9
    ruffley speaking says:

    gently does it!

  10. 10
    Megawhite says:

    How convenient. Dodging the bullet as long as he can.

  11. 11
    Popeye says:


  12. 12

    Why doesn’t the Hulk wear Lycra? Think of the money he’d save on clothes.

  13. 13
    D.Ruffley says:

    I was in the bar with my old mucker Eric, “Joycey boy” I say “why oh why does Guido note my indiscretions”
    “David” he says “be calm, be tactful, be nice, find guido and chin the f*cker”

  14. 14
    One-term Dave says:

    Newark, 2010:
    1st Conservative, 27,590 votes, 53.9%
    2nd Labour, 11,438 votes, 22.3%
    3rd Liberal Democrat, 10,246 votes, 20.0%
    4th UKIP, 1,954 votes, 3.8 %

    Newark 2014:
    1st Conservative, 17,431 votes, 45.0%
    2nd UKIP, 10,028 votes, 25.9%
    3rd Labour, 6,842 votes, 17.7%
    4th Independent, 1,891 votes, 4.9%

    Yep, UKIP are finished. No threat to us.

    Tra-la la la lalaaaaa!

  15. 15
    Stan Collymore says:

    Biff. Wham. Smack. I’m depressed.

  16. 16
    Bradly Wiggins says:

    An angry bloke wearing Lycra would blend in well with all the other cyclists.

  17. 17
    Dianne Fatbott says:

    And the rest of you smells of me, laughing boy, c’mere one more time.

  18. 18
    Superhero Workwear Inc. says:

    Or a jellabiya, which would be sensible in the hot Californian climate.

    Yes, it might be slightly conspicuous to walk around California in a jellabiya, but then turning green and smashing things is somewhat conspicuous, too, so it evens out.

  19. 19
    Hamas says:

    Six out of every five Palestinians killed in this crisis is a child.

  20. 20
    "help me DWP" from IDS says:

    most people with mental health get commented on. Those who could cause you problems don’t. I, sergeant Smith, when in the army, Donkey Smith at school, IDS (to grandly take after FDR), and of later Duncan Shite, must recognise this affliction. Must get some help from the DWP.

  21. 21
    To be invisible, buy a bicycle. says:

    Excuse me, but not all cyclists are like that. I bought a bicycle last weekend and thus far I am quite laid back about motorists trying to kill me. I take it in my stride. I don’t even mind the fact that pedestrians seem to find me invisible, too; I don’t bat an eyelid when they step out into the road in front of me. Or dog walkers. Or children, running out into my path and..


  22. 22
    Nobody gives a fuck says:

    That’s one way to stop ‘em breeding.

  23. 23
    Frome Neanderthal says:

    We’em got pitchers on walls ‘ere.

  24. 24
    Blowing Willies says:

    Palestine is gonna have a shite football team in a few years time.

  25. 25
    Jimmy Savile Ex BBC says:

    Well I appeared in the media a lot. I even assaulted people on prime-time television and radio with special friend Cyril. Everyone (especially the BBC) knew about it. Yet no-one ever dared accuse us of doing nowt wrong!

  26. 26
    Archbishopric Welby says:

    Verily the Sky Fairy speaketh unto you, my son. Praise be to Alarrh.

  27. 27
    Mental Health man says:

    Look there’s nothing wrong with mental health issues. I’ve suffered for years and am normal as they come. I personally think the only person who seems to be standing up for mental health people or understands us best is Ed Miliband. He has great empathy with our plight!

  28. 28
    Ever Hopeful Joe Public says:

    FFS Fatbott. Sit on his face and smother him next time. Wait until the little kweer stops wriggling and turns blue.

  29. 29
    BBC BREAKING NEWS i kid you not says:

    Michael Gove ‘got stuck in Commons toilet’


  30. 30

    But healthy enough to continue with Henry Jackson Soc, represent the people of Bury St Edmonds, treat his staff bad, etc. ?

    Vote UKIP :-D

  31. 31
    Vote UKIP says:

    He’s a fucking tory, of course he’s got mental problems.

  32. 32
    Adam Boulton says:

    That’s piss poor journalism

  33. 33

    Tell their stupid fathers and big brothers to stop firing missiles at Israel then it will no longer happen .

  34. 34
    Michael Gove says:

    Stupidly I went for a dump in one of the toilets which have been specially adapted for Diana Abbott’s arse.

  35. 35
    Roughley says:

    I my wife said that, so I slapped her.

  36. 36
    Norma Stitz says:

    After he hurled himself under the Gatwick Express (and survived by missing the live rail), one of his friends said that he was ‘pleased that David is getting back on the right track.’ Whoops..

  37. 37
    Hague for PM says:

    Hague’s response is classic, and paints the real tragedy of the reshuffle. Hague should have been made Chancellor and then PM just before election. His time should be now!

  38. 38
    Grow up says:

    It’s only taken you 1 week to whine like one of the fuckers.

  39. 39
    Grassed by an Eagle Sis says:

    Oddly enough it was Angela Eagle who came out with the bottom line.

  40. 40
    waddle or is it hoddle says:

    They’d still beat ingerland.

  41. 41
    NO SEATS NIGEL says:

    The commons toilet seat is the closest I will get to one in westminister

  42. 42
    táxpáyér says:

    I find a big dirty footprint on badly driven cars helps with “other road user” awareness.

  43. 43
    Anonymous says:

    Both Hamas and Bibi saying BBC have got it wrong about the ceasefire, as in, first we knew about it.

  44. 44
    Future Browsing says:

    It’s a cultural problem. We would recognise the danger amd keep our children off the streets.
    In the middle east they trust in Allah and send the children out to play while bombs are falling.
    Hamas also has a role, and it wouldn’t be the 1st time someone put civilians in harms way, Gadaffi and Sadam did it too.

  45. 45
    Future Browsing says:

    That’s the commons jacuzzi you twat!

  46. 46
    Curl one down says:

    Mickey Gove is Mr whippy now.

  47. 47
    I.R.A & on the run says:

    Never voting Labour again, they conned us with those letters they did! Tony Blair is a lying c.u.n.t!

  48. 48
    Jethro says:

    ..well, it is turdsday today.

  49. 49
    The two Muppets says:

    A vote for UKIP is a vote for Labour . FACT .

  50. 50
    99 says:

  51. 51
    Facts of Life says:

    Err no.

    A vote for UKIP is a vote for UKIP


  52. 52
    DAVE WAXWORK says:


  53. 53
    Owen Jones says:

    Me Tory, never.

    Up the workers (literally)

  54. 54
    Toxic Labour for Spongers, Scroungers, Parasites, Criminals, Layabouts & other Wasters says:

    Get ready for at least 10 new taxes from Labour.

  55. 55
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    Crikey, that’s astounding news. The first person ever to get locked in a toilet?

  56. 56
    Mullah Light says:

    Or Burka. If it is the goto clothing of Saudia Arablia it must be cool.

  57. 57
    Metro says:

    Yes we always get the big scoops!

  58. 58
    Oliver Letwin says:

    Was he after the Privy Seal?

  59. 59
    The Met Office says:

    The sun is shining, please can everybody go indoors.

  60. 60
    The Indy says:

  61. 61
    The NUT says:

    We always said that Gove was a Flash in the pan.

  62. 62
    Paniagua says:

    Has he got one in on slow bake in that photo as he looks to be struggling a bit?

  63. 63
    Chris Froome says:

    Shut it knobhead.

  64. 64
    ISIUK says:

    Vote ISIUK

  65. 65
    Baggit says:

    Poop scoops?

  66. 66
    Question of our Time says:

    Is Cameron a Labour Quisling ?

  67. 67
    Stan Collymore says:

    Bitches respect you more if you hit them.

    I only use an open hand though, except when I’m dogging.

    Don’t criticise me, I’m partially black. And mental.

  68. 68
    Cyclists should be insured says:

    I find punching twatty cyclists in the face and reversing over their bike teaches them to keep their feet to themselves.

  69. 69
    Mullah Light says:

    Just put this waistcoat on. Yes yes yes I know it smells of marzipan but nothing to worry about.

  70. 70
    RWG says:

    Do that to my car, and get a big dirty bootprint on your smashed in shitty head.

  71. 71
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    Flushed with success.

  72. 72
    Yeesh, my life says:

    Thats the price for using human shields aint it? A price the hamas leadership are willing and eager for women and children to pay as they hide behind women and children like the cowards they truly are.

    Gangsters and terrorists.

  73. 73
    Nick Clegg says:

    Where the heck is Owen Jones when I need him?

  74. 74
    concrete pump says:


  75. 75
    Pimp D. says:

    Yo, yo, yo don’t be messin’ with my hoe. Her sweet honky white ass is mine to slap all over da flow. Plus, bitch, don’t be callin’ me David no mo’, I be Pimp D, ya dig, and don’t be touchin my fro.


  76. 76
    UN mug says:

    We just found a cache of rockets hidden in one of our UN funded schools.
    Hamas removed them but we are not happy about it, not happy at all!
    We are investigating just how this breach has occurred!

  77. 77

    If any idiot trusts in the intervention of some sky fairy to protect them from missiles this is culling by natural selection.

  78. 78
    Voice of Sanity says:

    If a cyclist can hit your car with his foot, you are too close.

    Would you prefer cyclists to be in a big 4×4 in front of you instead?

  79. 79
    stun() says:

    I know I’m going to regret this, but what’s a ‘fro’? Unless it was just for rhyming purposes…

  80. 80
    No jam, just lard says:

    It’s worse when you get cyclists and horses and cars using the same country lane, the cyclist owns the road and if three or more are together sit inline talking to each other, road manners and road junctions and lights are not for cyclists, the horsey type are too busy on their mobile phones to bother where the nag is taking them which is usually back to the stables, the car gets to wait until the road is wide enough to get past this flotsam and jetsam

  81. 81
    Owen 'Morrissey' Jones says:

    A tough kid who sometimes swallows nails
    Raised on prisoner’s aid
    He killed a policeman when he was thirteen
    And somehow that really impressed me
    But it’s written all over my face

  82. 82
    Pimp D. says:

    My fro be like my do, my afro, you gnome sayin?

  83. 83

    They blend in better with the road surface.

  84. 84
    Teezy wheezy says:

    It is a completely uncontrollable hair style beloved of unintelligible jargon spouting Carib beans.

    Like: Yo bro, get off the po.

  85. 85
    Pimp D. says:

    I use Soul Glo to get control of my fro. All dem high class bitches love it.


  86. 86
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    Was he stuck, or did someone shut him in?

  87. 87
    Tom Catesby . says:

    Is Ed Ballsup doing the counting for Hamas!

  88. 88
    Bully says:


  89. 89

    Really Guido who cares ….

    Is this the degree of fodder we ll be digesting for the next six weeks ?

    And to make matters worse the sprogs are on hols from tomorrow !!!

    Roll on Sept 1st !!

  90. 90

    Well it s

    Oh dear what can the matter be
    Michael Gove got stuck in the lavatory
    They kept him there from Monday through Saturday
    And now his Big Whip s lost its flair

  91. 91

    … or a flush down the pan ?

  92. 92

    I believe it s rapspeak for a person s frontsl genital region .

    ( can be equally applied in both gender contexts )

  93. 93
    Rotherhampoofta says:

    Every little helps.

  94. 94
    Ever Hopeful Joe Public says:

    Who cares. Just get bumsex Dave out.

  95. 95
    Hate the lot of them says:

    Knew the man years ago: forget all this mental issues stuff…he is a little man with a filthy temper who used to shout and yell at everyone when he didn’t get his own way.
    The fact that he’s apparently a hitter doesn’t surprise me in the slightest.

  96. 96
    Anonymous says:

    If a cyclist can hit your car with his foot, the cyclist is too close.

Seen Elsewhere

100 Tories to Rebel on Plain Packs | Telegraph
May 2015 and the Art of Political Betting | MAY2015
Fate of Eurozone Rests in Hands of Videogame Expert | TechnoGuido
UKIP After Farage | Asa Bennett
Eichmann Called on Arabs to Continue War on Jews | Speccie
Mirror Hacking: 50 Legal Action Claims | Press Gazette
Mandy’s £400,000 Tax-Free Loan From Own Company | Guardian
Why We Must Remember the Holocaust | Hugo Rifkind
“Adjustments” Not Cuts | Gary Gibbon
The New Puritans | Alex Wickham
British Minister in Watch Gaffe | Straits Times

Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

George Galloway says of his former Respect candidate the UKIP MEP turned Tory, Amjad Bashir…

“Clearly Bashir does not have any real political principles or commitment, only naked opportunism and self-interest. He represents the revolving door principle in politics. The Tories are welcome to him because he will cause them embarrassment. Fortunately Respect was able to act before he did it to us.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,716 other followers