July 15th, 2014

The New Cabinet in Full

The Cabinet

David Cameron – Prime Minister

Nick Clegg – Deputy Prime Minister

William Hague – First Secretary of State, Leader of the House of Commons

George Osborne – Chancellor of the Exchequer

Danny Alexander – Chief Secretary to the Treasury

Theresa May – Secretary of State for the Home Department

Michael Fallon – Secretary of State for Defence

Vince Cable – Secretary of State for Business, Innovation and Skills

Iain Duncan Smith – Secretary of State for Work and Pensions

Chris Grayling – Lord Chancellor and Secretary of State for Justice

Nicky Morgan – Secretary of State for Education, Women & Equalities Min.

Eric Pickles – Secretary of State for Communities and Local Government

Jeremy Hunt – Secretary of State for Health

Elizabeth Truss – Secretary of State for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs

Justine Greening – Secretary of State for International Development

Alistair Carmichael – Secretary of State for Scotland

Edward Davey – Secretary of State for Energy and Climate Change

Patrick McLoughlin – Secretary of State for Transport

Sajid Javid – Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport

Theresa Villiers – Secretary of State for Northern Ireland

Stephen Crabb – Secretary of State for Wales

Philip Hammond – Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs

Also attending Cabinet

Michael Gove – Chief Whip and Parliamentary Secretary to the Treasury

Francis Maude – Minister for the Cabinet Office and Paymaster General

Matt Hancock – Minister of State for BIS, DECC and Portsmouth

Esther McVey - Minister of State for Employment

Oliver Letwin – Minister for Government Policy, Lord Privy Seal

David Laws – Minister of State for Cabinet Office, Schools

Grant Shapps - Minister Without Portfolio

Baroness Warsi – Senior Minister of State, Faith and Communities

Greg Clark – Minister of State for Universities and Science

Jeremy Wright – Attorney General

Baroness Stowell - Leader of the House of Lords


  1. 1
    Tony Blair says:

    Today, I got my party back.

    Liked by 1 person

    • 8
      DtP says:

      Yes, I believe you did. If this was Crosby’s broadside for the election then, well, good luck with it.


    • 45
      táxpáyér says:

      Lord Hill – who are you? My reaction to the news that Lord Hill has been nominated to be the UK’s next European Commissioner by the Prime Minister.

      There is nothing in Mr Hill’s career path that would suggest that he is the one to renegotiate radical reform. I am surprised that David Cameron, at this juncture, would nominate someone who was special advisor to the Europhile Kenneth Clarke.

      Nigel Farage MEP


    • 57
      ancientpopeye says:

      No Liberals kicked out of the cabinet?


      • 61
        still walking into darkness says:

        Not a single member of the Cabinet is in the same class as Nigel Farage, the Prime Minister of the people


        • 96
          Anonymous says:

          I can no longer think of a reason to vote Tory. My one hope was that Mr.Gove would continue as Education Secretary so that working class kids could be given a chance in life by a good education. Mr.Cameron has given way to the left wing nutters that lead the teaching unions. Now we have to submit to a dumbing down of education, teachers unable to be sacked for imcompetence, strikes when the teachers dislike a policy which interferes with their easy hours and obscene lengthy holidays etc. What a fool you are, Mr Cameron, to sacrifice a magnificent secretary of state in order gain a few votes from teachers pleased they are getting their own way. Shame on you.


          • thick as a stump says:

            The Teachers still won’t vote conservative. Can’t get pensions bigger than a wage packet out of them.


          • Carlo Gambino says:

            Except the teechurs won’t vote for him.

            Only in Cam the Sham’s pea-brain is there huge softy-wofty, libby-wibby, drippy-left bloc there ready to vote Tory and sweep him back into power.

            The Libbies poll 6%, UKIP can be north of 30% – I know which bloc I’d be pitching at.

            Still fair play to The Sham for doing a fantastic job of building up a political party. Shame it wasn’t his own.


      • 131
        Tacitus says:

        Vince Cable is one of the most incapable people in the cabinet and should have lost his job. Political expediency and sensitivity obviously overrules capability.


    • 59
      Bunny says:




    • 66
      Mycroft says:

      …in a fire sale.

      The spaz-cam seems to have an endless supply of ‘stupid’ for sale at the moment.

      The man in congenitally hopeless and in reality powerless, he was handed his ahse in Europe’s Bedlam and in an effort to appear to be in ‘Command’ he instigates a flick the bean re-shuffle.

      The aura of failure dogs his steps… people generally loathe him here in the Shires, outside his circle he’s screwed.

      We (UKIP) have taken a goodly part of their troops on the ground and they are now working for us.

      By disregarding the natural Tory and being seen by many as a ‘Gay campaigner’ he’s done more damage than he realises.

      As a UKIP activist I think he is the best thing to happen to our party.

      His comeuppance is on the horizon and is rushing his way at a shattering rate.

      Happy days.


    • 70
      The Vampire says:



      • 93
        Cinna says:

        It’s all gone (.)(.) up.


      • 94
        Mycroft says:

        Don’t worry about menorrheic synchronicity making the place ‘insane’ for a few days week, worry about ‘roid rage as the HRT prescriptions synchronise…



        • 109
          Cinna says:

          The p*llock said on TV that it’s a team that represents “modern Britain”. F*ck that. We need the best team for the job, not a team with the acceptable number of gays, women, lesbians, muslims, etc.

          FFS Dave, grow a set!


          • Mr Quelch says:

            Exactly : any Prime Minister worthy of the name should appoint a ministerial team which has the ability to do their jobs for the benefit of the whole country. We (the people) give our consent (by voting) to politicians to run our country on our behalf. All this shuffling around of faces , regardless of their abilities (or lack thereof) , is just political jiggerypokery to trawl in a few more votes. I don’t care if a Cabinet Minister is male, female, not sure, black , blue or puce – as long as they are up to the mark in working for us. Nothing else matters. This is just Sixth Form Debating Society wa&k.


          • stushie says:

            The Wimmin’s Collective will still not vote for the prat. The ‘Schemy’ breeders certainly won’t….Their votes will magic into Labour ones via Postal Voting coordinated by their councillors. Is no one guarding this back door?


      • 122

        Do you mean there WILL be blood …blud??


    • 74
      Mark Textor says:

      But has Digger Lynton done enough to scandalproof the Cabinet?

      You can only delay enquiries so long and, “We will stop the boats, stop the big new taxes, end the waste, and pay back the debt”, only works for so long as people are stupid. Digger may not have sealed all the holes


    • 99
      Anonymous says:

      There will be blood (usualy once a month)


    • 115
      Anonymous says:

      Today, we bring on all the substitutes- so they can say they got a game. And a resettlement allowance when they are obliterated in 9 months time. Great stuff, trebles all round. Our expense, of course!


    • 120

      Sorry — we have a Minister for PORTSMOUTH now !!!

      And js this the same matthew Han(dy )cock we all know and love from that neck of the woods ?

      He attends Cabinet !!!

      If true you could nt make it up …..


    • 129
      Tossers R Us says:

      Its amazing, wankers always cluster together in the same places, no change in Westminster then.


  2. 2
    Ghost of Leon says:

    Crooks !


  3. 3
    Well I Never says:

    Surprised to see cameron is still in the Cabinet.


  4. 4
    Willy Hague says:

    Cheerio……off for a jolly next year with a high paid job with the UN ;)


  5. 5
    Plus says:

    Loads of associated bag carriers / SPADs / Groupies


  6. 6
    David Cameron says:

    Tally Ho !


  7. 9
    Executive Summary says:

    Vote UKIP


  8. 10
    DtP says:

    Why don’t you promote Hattie then sweetie or her husband?


  9. 11
    Mother Nature says:

    They should drop “minister for climate change”. Like King Canute could not stop the tide the minister can not stop the climate from changing.

    They will be having ministers for sunsets and sunrises next.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. 13
    White Dee says:

    No chance of number 10 getting hit with the bedroom tax


    • 86
      Renter IDS says:

      Retrospective legislation targeting IDS, as he rents, could make the odious chap cough up having been forced to take his own medicine.


  11. 16
    Steve Miliband says:

    Too many Lib Dems


  12. 17
    May Day says:

    That’s why the best home secretary ever, and widely regarded as so even by Her Majesty’s opposition is a right wing female.


  13. 19
    Well I Never says:

    OK – there’s some more totty in the Cabinet – but aren’t transvestites still under represented ?


  14. 21
    Brian J. says:

    The Tories love women but don’t really know what to do with them. And you can take that any way you want.


  15. 23
    Grant Shapps says:

    I almost caught someone screwing my missus last night, but he dived out the window as I burst into the bedroom. After slapping my wife around a bit, I chased after him.

    “He went that way,” said my mate Dave, pointing to next door’s garden.

    “Cheers, mate,” I replied, scaling the fence. “And get some fucking clothes on, you’ll catch your death.”


  16. 26
    The Spice Monopoly says:

    Warsi is hanging on by her fingertips.


  17. 28
    Damian McShite says:



  18. 30
    Chris Bryant says:

    I shall be uploading a picture of my underpants in celebration of this re-shuffle


  19. 31
    Chris Bryant's gaping anUS says:

    Watch for the result from Havant in the GE

    Dave Willets achieved miracles keeping that constituency blue.

    Given the truly vast numbers of feckless scrounging fucks there, it is a political miracle he held on there each time.
    It has a small middle class area, the rest is all council estates.

    Now it will go Red,,,a great pity

    I met Willets once in Havant, when he came to a high tech business I was working at. a very impressive politician, but i imagine working for that cretin Cable has put him off politics


    • 39
      A Few good men says:

      Willets is a good bloke.


      • 67
        gildedtumbril says:

        I call him witless.


      • 71
        Chris Bryant's gaping anUS says:

        Agree 100%
        But far too idealogically motivated for the heir to blair, big dave cam

        I guarantee you though that will be a gain for the Marxist rat next May

        Big Dave is fucking me off more and more im afraid, but i cant bring meself to betray the true tories and vote for the UKIP frauds


        • 88
          Mycroft says:

          How ‘useless’ does he have to display before you realise he is a charlatan?

          Short of walking around the HoC with his pants on his head and two pencils stuck up his nose he’s done enough?

          Loyalty is a fine attribute, but loyalty to the point of despising your own position is a too far.

          Stop giving your vote to a party that will constantly just take you for granted and join us in UKIP where your vote will count toward a return to something you will no longer feel ashamed of being part of.


  20. 33
    Gordon Brown says:

    Whats been happening?


  21. 35
    William Hague says:

    But I promised Angelina a seat in the cabinet.


  22. 36
    Larry the Cat says:


  23. 38
    My thoughts exactly says:


    • 58
      Morbidly Obese says:



    • 69
      Owen's Remedial English teacher says:

      Illerate loose-thinking clod.

      Game, set and match for them to succeed or fail?

      Game, set and nearly match? Game and set mean you are at least a whole set away from match. Do you mean “nearly game, set and match”?


    • 134
      Just Saying says:

      “nearly” yet again reveals Twatson’s lack of understanding of the real power game


  24. 44
    Anonymous says:

    Why do the BBC keep showing the German football team’s victory parade in Berlin?


  25. 45
    A J3w comments on the Christian church says:


    • 78
      Frederick says:

      How come Jesus did not have any women apostles ?


    • 92
      non believer says:

      as a non believe in the new testment commenting on those who do is not exactly polite.


    • 95
      Dangerous Brian says:

      Great news indeed, we defenitely need more lezzas and gay chaps in positions of influence in our great inclusive all encompassing democracy.


      • 106

        Great news for femi nazis everywhere you can now officiate every time a load of superstitious old fools get together for their medieval mumbo jumbo sessions
        HALLELUJAH !!!!!!
        Strange how women reach prominence in an organisation only after it becomes totally irrelevant to 99% of the population.
        Rational people would not give a stuff if they ‘enthroned’ the inhabitants of ofLondon Zoo monkey house.


    • 108
      Ed Millibrain says:

      I’m an atheist, actually, apart from when I’m in Israyel


    • 126
      Jack Ketch says:

      WTF has the politics of the Anglican Communion to do with an atheistic follower of Baal?


    • 135
      Cor Blimey. says:

      Since when did Red Ed get religion?
      Oh I forgot it is simply another bandwagon for him to climb on.
      What is his view on ending life? Thought not, as his union masters have not told him yet.


  26. 47
    shitbag says:

    Gaby Hinsliff @gabyhinsliff · 2h
    Good day for those well-known women Jeremy Wright, Michael Fallon, Stephen Crabb, Matt Hancock, Lord Hill and Nick Boles #reshuffle


    Liked by 1 person

  27. 50
    táxpáyér says:

    Lefties We love tokenism! So many tokens! Get them all! We love diversity but hate any one who disagrees with us.


  28. 53
    Shooty* says:

    Perfect opportunity to get rid of Warsi, and he bottles it. FFS.


  29. 55
    The Sun Still Shines says:

    Time to kick some Balls in the Shabby Shadow cabinet.


  30. 64
    Jimmy says:

    I think this exciting new line up deserves a chance to get its own endorsement from the electorate as soon as possible.


  31. 68
    gildedtumbril says:

    Just another string of worthless trollops.


  32. 72
    Can you tell what it is yet? says:

    Lord Hill: Never been elected, never done a proper job, never run a government department, former Ken Clarke Spad and worked for Bell Pottinger of Wikipedia fame.

    We live in the age of simulacra.


    • 116
      Lord Tristram Hunt says:

      And what exactly is wrong with never having a proper my little man?


    • 136
      Lard Presclot. says:

      I had a real job. I was a waiter on a liner.
      Never worked since and still on the public teat.


  33. 73
    Crime Watch says:

    Remember… dont have nightmares…


  34. 75
    Anonymous says:

    When the chips are down, tory toffs don`t really care about state education. If Cameron genuinely cared, he would have left Gove where he was. He isn`t and didn`t. Cameron is just a flim flam merchant like Tony Blair.


  35. 76
    Reshuffle latest says:

    Apparently only one new minister with a beard – I thought the Conservatives were full of them…


  36. 77
    Cynic says:

    So thats 16 old grey men and 5 women…. transformational!!!


  37. 85
    Desmond says:

    Just like sewage the scum always seem to rise to the top.

    (and eventually break up and drop to the bottom again).


  38. 87
    Kulak murdered by Marxist filth. says:

    Dave Laws. Why is this thieving shyster still in Government ?

    (Was ‘ He ‘ ever in care ?)


  39. 89
    Kulak murdered by Marxist filth. says:

    BTW ,,,,, How many were in Churchill’s wartime Cabinet ??


  40. 97
    All MP's are scum says:

    Dear Mr Cameron.

    I’ve got a f@nny. Can I have a job please ?


  41. 98
    Jim says:

    Does anybody give a shit about the parliament of paedophiles?


  42. 103
    Joe Publik says:

    Three words come to mind:



  43. 104
    Taxfodder says:

    The Tory Reshuffle….an utter utter box of establishment junk!

    If this is the best god help you in 2015

    Dave give it up, do yourself a favor mate you ain’t it!


  44. 105
    how very odd says:

    ‘Matt Hancock – Minister of State for BIS, DECC and Portsmouth’


  45. 111
    Professor Green says:

    Did Paterson’s removal have something to do with the fact that the grid has not collapsed in Germany as a result of its green energy programme and that in fact the green energy programme has gone from strength to strength, while Germany’s economy has continued to do superlatively well?

    And also that the Tories have been losing the green vote as well.


    • 137
      Herman the German says:

      Green Energy Programme? We are using more coal than 30 years ago.
      How can you be so wrong? Oh, I now understand, you are a British Professor.


  46. 114
    Warsi Watch (Someone's Got to Do It) says:

    Is Baroness Warsi working? She seems to have done nothing for the last three months.

    Does anyone know why we haven’t heard from her ? (not that I’m complaining of course).


  47. 117
    thick as a stump says:

    Where’d the conservative party go.


  48. 128
  49. 130
    Anonymous says:

    “The New Cabinet in Full”
    No mention of any reserves then. So what happens, if some Inquiry excreta happens to impact that impending impeller?


  50. 139
    Cumbrian says:

    Where is the Rory ‘The Tory’ Stewart ?


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