July 14th, 2014

And the Lord Spake Unto MPs…

And Lo!  All the MPs saw the thunderings, and the lightnings, and the noise of the trumpet, and the mountain spinning, and they trembled with fear. They stayed at a distance and said unto Lord Bew, chairman of the Committee on Standards in Public Life, “Speak thou with us and we will hear. But do not let Guido speak with us, lest we die.” And Lord Bew said unto the MPs, “Do not be afeared, for these are the rules of public life.”

The path of the righteous MP is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of greed. Blessed is he, who in the name of integrity and public service, shepherds his constituents through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother’s keeper and the finder of abused children. But for them that would stray, Guido will strike down the crosshairs upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger and smite down those that would attempt to poison and destroy the honest man. And you will know my name is Guido when I lay my terrible vengeance upon thee…


  1. 1
    Andrew Efiong says:

    Line up the crosshairs.

    Take them down in public.

    Then scalp em’ Guido!

  2. 2
    EC1 PhD says:

    You’re getting a fucking God complex – stop it

  3. 3
    Unlucky Alf says:

    Thank God, God doesn’t work for Murdoch.

  4. 4
    Anonymous says:

  5. 5
    Itchy Scrote says:

    You’ll get a lightning bolt where the sun doesn’t shine if you try that.

  6. 6
    Samuel L Jackson says:

    Who is this cracker?

  7. 7
    Samuel L Jackson`s beret says:

    Plagiarist motherfucker.

  8. 8

    We do the Lord’s work.

  9. 9
    Rupert Murdoch says:

    I wouldn’t hire the idle fucker. My lot don’t get Sundays off.

  10. 10
    Anonymous says:

  11. 11

    More messenger, like Moses, but neither Messiah or God. All is good.

    One should not forget the masses of gentiles who semi-indelibly brand the sinners ‘mong’ and worst: As is thought and here so be written.

    Difficult to ignore when the Guido-Gram hits most of the departments around knocking off time.

    In any case, Aktion-T4 assisted suicide free vote is the State getting a God complex: More worrying after the marriage fiasco.

    Vote UKIP :-D

  12. 12
    When are you casting this scene then Geedes says:

  13. 13
    Lloyd Blankfein - Golden Sacks says:

    Hey, that’s my line!

  14. 14
    Paddy says:

    I bet you say that to all the boys

  15. 15
    Gawd Help Us says:

    Careful now Tony Blair started doing religion.

  16. 16
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    There’s only 1 commandment for politicians:

    Thou shalt not get caught.

    Here endeth today’s lesson :-)

  17. 17
    It's not true says:

    Oh dear, what a pity, never mind.

  18. 18
    Tony Blair, Millionaire says:

    Of course, none of the Ten Commandments apply to me

  19. 19
    Vote Dave? Get stuffed says:


  20. 20
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    Who’s holding the auto-cue saying “Cry Now” :-)

  21. 21
    The other blues brother says:

    And he is the same size as Jake

  22. 22
    HuffPo says:

  23. 23
    A choir of MPs says:

    But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven

  24. 24
    Jeremy says:

    Eeeny, meeeny, miny, mo…did I here the N word there?

  25. 25
    Buy this new Toyota for only 50 shekels down says:

    And get three thousand free bullets

  26. 26
    Paniagua V5.1 says:

    Neo Guido is currently refusing to put the gimp mask on as it will spoil his mullet.

  27. 27
    Neil Down says:

    Says you. I say it’s Argentinian kids watching the World Cup in the garage.

  28. 28
    A Minister (dead?) says:

    Have them washed and brought to my chambers.

  29. 29
    Old Salvo says:

    You can take the boy out of St Joseph’s…

  30. 30
    A Typical Voter says:

    What !! We are giving these idle fuckers more stuff. Is that 7 each FFS.

    How much is that costing?

  31. 31
    Moses says:

    8 – Do not covet thy neighbours child.

  32. 32
    Surrey Shiresman says:

    What about that sometimes drunk and violent Scottish Labour MP (Eric Royce?)

    He could go nicely next to “Compassion” or “Respect”.

  33. 33
    WTF! says:

  34. 34
    Lizzie says:

    If MPs have to be taught basic ethics and morals one wonders what has gone so badly wrong inside the legacy parties that they are selecting as candidates people who lack such fundamental qualifications?

  35. 35
    what's the betting? says:

    Did Hasan question Clarke about his time as Home Secretary when
    he freed over 1,000 foreign prisoners- some of whom had committed
    sex offences against children?

  36. 36
    great questions of our time says:

    Why are so many useless weirdos,crooks
    and pervs attracted to politics?

  37. 37
    Wendi says:

    Love your neighbour.
    Well well well.

    With our Toni it only takes a few moments for an association to become truth.

  38. 38
    Ex Bootnev says:

    The terrorist group HAMAS created the situation in Gaza, they also have the solution to it, which is simple enough… Cease firing rockets into Israel! Problem solved in an instant.

    ‘Oh, so HAMAS won’t end their constant rocket attacks?’ Well Israel should now batter HAMAS into the ground, as well as those who offer their support to terrorists and terrorism, blow them all back to the medeaval times from where their book of hypocrisy comes from.

    Yours Aye. A Friend Of Israel.

  39. 39
    C*NT says:

    The one they all seem to have a handle on is “Vanity”

  40. 40
    Anonymous says:

    Where’s “Though shalt not bugger little boys”?

    This story is surely a piss-take given the revelations about a HoC p*edophile ring?

    They really do believe we are all stupid.

  41. 41
    Vicky says:

    Funny that Huhne’s at the top! He’s broken the fucking lot!!!

  42. 42
    A Guardian reader says:

    But Hamas like have to fire rockets at Israel because it’s like Ramadan or something. The Israelis should be like more culturally sensitive and like embrace diversity.

  43. 43
    Sloshed Butler says:

    That photo of me two posts ago has me looking like a dead-ringer for Jimmy Savile.
    Are we by any chance related?

  44. 44
    Anonymous says:

    No, it’s actually “The J*wish Voice for Peace”.

    Look at the slightly obscured logo at the bottom of the tweet.

  45. 45
    Father O'Flaherty says:

    Jaysus, Mary and Joseph, there’s no “Thou shalt not bugger little boys”, in there, is there bejaysus???????

  46. 46
    Anonymous says:

    But it’s the “J*wish Voice for Peace” tweeting this.

  47. 47
    och merde says:

    ….& if that doth not put the shit up thee the threat of the Atttorney’s Genitals certainly will

  48. 48
    Fairness and balance says:

  49. 49
    Meanwhile says:

    Your “Government” dear.

    Suggest you set up an enquiry. You’ve only had 60 years to get it right.

    PS: Were you happy that your lot won the cup yesterday?

  50. 50
    Meanwhile says:

    Because they are totally unemployable elsewhere.

  51. 51
    To hell with the LibLabCon - they're traitors, every one says:

    Politics is the perfect cover for their nefarious activities. The rot set in long ago.

  52. 52
    Guido is a God says:


  53. 53
    Amen says:

    Blessed are the cobblers as they get to boot these greedy MPs up the @rse.

  54. 54
    Handycock says:

    Bit unfair to use my picture Guido. I’m an ill man and more to the point a free one. See you in the
    Autumn as it’s time for my long summer break..

  55. 55
    The prophet Albert, peace be upon him says:


  56. 56
    Never Drive With the Safety Off says:

    You be carefuly Tony all those men with guns around you. they can just go off like this!

  57. 57
    IDS (Israeli Death Squad) says:

    …but only the ones you are allowed to take down, Guidough. All the others must be left alone or you’ll lose….everything?

  58. 58
    Butty Schloss says:

    I’m free

  59. 59
    bubble says:

    “Why are so many useless weirdos,crooks
    and pervs attracted to politics?”

    Is it that or is it for every ten people that step forward the worst one – or at least the most easily blackmailable – is selected because they will be the easiest to control?

  60. 60
  61. 61

    They are all cheats and troughers. Good on you Guido!

  62. 62
    A Droyd says:

    You are taking yourself too seriously. Get a life.

  63. 63
    Anon says:

    M E M R I T V . org

  64. 64

    Commandments are like pie-crusts made to be broken!

  65. 65
    Anonymous says:

    Nor do they apply to Israel firsters and their acolytes.

  66. 66
    Handycock (Teen Fondler) MP says:

    Now Dame Butler-Sloss has quite rightly stepped down, the Government has a real dilemma in who to appoint as the Chair of the investigation in to child abuse by many members of the Houses of Commons and Lords, and elsewhere in the Establishment, that has been covered up for decades. The answer is obvious (if the money is right), it should be me. Obviously I am no longer a member of the Establishment, which has let me down badly by allowing Princess and her lawyer to bring me down. Let’s face it, I know every pervert in both houses past and present and as I have always said ‘if I go down I will take you all down with me.’ I am now ready to do my duty and bring the lot of them down. Boaz.

  67. 67
    Anonymous says:

    No, the Z ioLoons created the situation in Gaza by driving millions of Palestinians there and into refugee camps at gunpoint and stealing their land while whining “victim”.

  68. 68
    Grand Master, Grand Lodge, Great Queen Street says:

    Great idea Handy and you can appoint lots of Brothers on to the investigation committee to cover up for us all. A brilliant idea. Boaz.

  69. 69
    I've Invented An App That Can Read People's Minds says:

    I’ve changed my mind. I’m going to invest in Loo Roll instead of Prisons (as ‘certain’ members of the Establishment are going to need a hell off a lot of it soon enough!) Ahhh, I can already hear the scraping of metal cups down prison bars, welcoming the speado’s as they take that long walk to home….

  70. 70
    Let's see how long this post stay's up says:

    I cannot recollect my stupidity, and I have no recollection of my stupidity. I can recollect how I managed to perverse the course of the Australian Election and that FOX isn’t a shoveler of HS News. (Can I go now before I pee myself, I’m old..?)

  71. 71
    gildedtumbril says:

    Eeny meeny miny mo catch a Nigerian by the toe,
    If he says asylum let him go.

  72. 72
    Geo-Political Mumbo-Jumboist, Talking Mumbo-Jumbo says:

    Strip-out Defence Spending and Oil, and you’ll see your true enemy. But hey, Saudi Arabia is a ‘Nice Country’ innit.

  73. 73
    Tom Baker says:

    I sense a blogger ascending up his own arse

  74. 74
    Daniella from Romania says:

    I hope this committee is going to investigate what you were doing with us children in orphanages in Romania Handy.

  75. 75
    Jacobite half-seas over the water says:

    Allow Guido to complete bit by bit the work that his namesake began so many years ago.

  76. 76
    They Won't Change says:

    Got it in one! This “Lord Bew” and his anonymous committee for “Standards in Public Life” is there for snowing the public and as an excuse for paying some MPs more money for doing FA. But at least he has a sense of humour and Parliamentarians know he is only joking.

  77. 77
    A Historian, says:

    The Aye-rabs have a point – they were turfed off their land to make way for settlers of European origin.

  78. 78
    Anonymous says:

    “And the Lord Spake Unto MPs…”
    And said: My name is Party Leader!

  79. 79
    A Historian says:

    The Saudis are not nice people, neither are they, or have they ever been, our friends.

  80. 80
    Confused.Dot.Com says:

    Are we allowed to say “NIGERian” these days or should it be “BLACKerian”?

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