July 11th, 2014

Friday Caption Contest (World Cup Final Predictions Edition)


  1. 1
    Havocman says:

    The Pope does his Angela Merkel/KitKat joke yet again.


  2. 2
    Jimmy says:

    Some controversial tactics have been unveiled at the inaugural rock paper scissors world cup.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. 3
    Angela says:

    You dirty old man!


  4. 4
    Pope says:

    Have you seen my ring?


  5. 5
    Pope says:

    I bet you are a squirter!


  6. 6
    Moon Boy says:

    “Read between the lines bitch!”


  7. 7
    Tulchan Beatz says:

    “You haven’t got a prayer”


  8. 8
    ancientpopeye says:

    Up yours too Angela.


  9. 9
    Anonymous says:

    Praying for a draw!


  10. 10
    hihat says:

    two in the pink one in the stink


  11. 11
    Alfie says:

    Angela I thought you’d know where your G Spot is. Tell your husband that this is how he should do it!


  12. 12
    Ockham's Razor says:

    Each: How many fingers can you take?


  13. 13
    Chris Reynolds says:

    Give us Las Islas Rügen or eternal damnation for all Germans.


  14. 14
    Time 2 CTRL, ALT & DEL says:

    Now how did Winston do his V for Victory?

    Liked by 1 person

  15. 16
    BBB+ Rated. says:

    “They think I’m a double agent, I’m actually a triple”


  16. 17
    The Pope says:

    So Angie, today’s star prize on Papal 3-2-1 is…


  17. 18
    Radio Bollocks says:

    Pope: Hitler’s – sorry the Huns – eleven, by four!


  18. 19
    geordieboy says:

    Three Hail Mary’s for the price of one Angela.


  19. 21
    Robin J Smith says:

    “I’m just dying to caress your G-spot, Frau Merkel”


  20. 22
    Bug says:

    Jesus loves EU


  21. 23
    M­a­­q­b­o­­ul says:

    If Germany win I’ll be expecting three Hail Marys and a How’s yer Father as penance my child.


  22. 23
    Bishop of Rome says:

    How would this work? Boys don’t have a front bottom.


  23. 26
    M says:

    You wanna join the EU ?
    I’m just getting used to these new communication devises , which finger do I use ?


    • 152
      Just Saying. says:

      Pope – I won 300 Euro on Germany against Brazil.
      Merkel – Good for you, I just won the EU.


  24. 27
    angela panzer says:

    7 goals past the other Dagos..so I think we will do 8 past your aging divers.


  25. 28
    Ockham's Razor says:

    Popey: For lunch we have three pullet.

    Angie: There is your first.


  26. 29

    Fancy you knowing 3 of my Argentine relatives!


  27. 30
    sometime I wonder, then I think who cares says:

    And you shot down Cameron was it 3 times?


  28. 31
    Finger of Fun says:

    No, this is what you can do with your Euro.


  29. 32
    sometime I wonder, then I think who cares says:

    Bloody British getting in on our deals.


  30. 33
    PaulJB says:

    Who’s wearing the trousers here. Anglia’s right & she’ll have the erect finger.


  31. 36
    Angela Merkel says:

    On behalf of all of Germany I would like to thank the Vatican and Argentina for giving shelter to so many N*zis after the war.


  32. 37
    angela panzer says:

    The Holy Trinity is nothing compared to the power of the Junker


  33. 39
    Bill Quango MP says:


    “Nice Rug, wiggy!”


  34. 40
    Anonymous says:

    This is the real Argentinian Hand of God!


  35. 41
    sovietsalami63 says:

    sovietsalami63 Here,
    CANNOT access legal aid, CANNOT access doctors appointment at surgery , P hone calls cost too much and the appointments have all gone within 24 mins , Cannot book in advance as all appointment have gone for the next week at least.
    Why are these fucking shits in government Tories shitting on us time after time after time , I have no option but to leave this country soon and will not return.


    • 44
      David Cummerbund says:

      Fuck off.

      freeloading socialist bellend.


      • 49
        sovietsalami63 says:

        Go and fuck of yourself you arsehole Tory Loving Monarchist


        • 57
          Anonymous says:

          You are an Obvious Troll.

          That fact does not belittle the fact you are also an Obvious Hunt.


        • 61
          Fishy says:

          GPs are seeing 25% less patients according to a new report.

          They’re busy on the golf course spending their extra free time and inflated salaries that were given to them by Gordon Brown.


          • Nice weather we're 'avin says:

            Salami could get an appointment easily. Friday is the best time to book online for monday morning. There is also an NHS drop in center in Middleton so get in taxi and go there now.
            (Seem to remember he is from Leeds lol.)


          • bergen says:

            I think the ridiculous GP contract was signed in Blair’s time. Alan Johnson was Health Secretary – don’t know why people rate him.


          • Off White Dee says:

            probably one of those council house whingers.

            Been shitting in the sink for three weeks ..” ‘coz me toilets blocked and the lazy council says they can’t come out and fix it until August!..I’m not chucking no bleach down the pan..i’M NOT A TRAINED EXPERT PLUMBER SLASH CLEANER IS OI?”


    • 50
      sometime I wonder, then I think who cares says:

      Bye and make sure you have plenty of money in your bank account to pay for the doctor abroad.


      • 53
        workers vote UKIP. .And email Chucky. says:

        Go on please..grass is always greener (but cheaper and of better quality in the uk)


  36. 42
    Pope says:

    Did you see Gordon brown on the Jock Question Time last night?, really let himself go, hasn’t he.


  37. 43
    The Pope says:

    A finger of fudge is just enough to keep a kiddy quite


  38. 45
    Steve Miliband says:

    I only wanted the ceiling painted in Magnolia


  39. 46
    Ockham's Razor says:

    Angela: Is that an enlarged tendon or are you just pleased to see me?


  40. 48
    Ockham's Razor says:

    Can you put the bet in your name as I am not allowed to do such things?

    (Angela to Pope)


  41. 51
    Anthony Dixon says:

    Pope : “Two in the pink, one in the brown ?”

    Merkel : “Ya das ist gut”


  42. 52
    angela panzer says:

    Guess how many times more German green energy costs the consumer than the EU average!

    Ya ..three times more..


  43. 54
    The Pope says:

    You look like you’ve been dragged through a burning bush I’d change your stylist darling


  44. 55
    Fishy says:

    Yes…three years Bormann stayed with us, three years while the Capitalist pigs of West Germany were digging holes all over Berlin, looking for him.


  45. 58
    Ockham's Razor says:

    P: You have Sudetenland, we’ll have the Malvinas. Now get the Hefeweizen in.

    M: Though you’ld be on the Bischofs Finger!


  46. 60
    Up yours Delours and other Sun headlines says:

    So Chancellor you gave Mr Cameron a sign of how you felt regarding his objections to Mr Juncker’s appointment then ? Was it by any chance similar to this ?

    Yes your holiness but I only used two fingers.


  47. 63
    Dementia says:

    Pope : This was a technique that a Labour Peer showed me back in the 80s…


  48. 64

    “As Pius XII was to the Third Reich so I expect you to be to our Fourth Reich.”


  49. 65

    Messi’s going to give you the finger on Sunday


  50. 66
    David Cameron says:

    Pope ” Angela, My dear ,it’s true I have 3 balls”


  51. 69
    Spankie says:

    I’ll bend you over and spank you, you naughty little pope.


  52. 72
    Ah! men says:

    It’s three, and I’m infallible.


  53. 73
    IDS (Israeli Death Squad) says:

    Pope – “Germany vill score sree goals”
    Geli – “and the Argies vill get only von”


    • 107
      A Vote for UKIP is a Vote for Labour says:

      I’d be surprised if the Argies limit Germany to three goals.

      Is De Kirchner still running her country into the ground over there? They could do with a little more of the Anglo Saxon – or dare one say it – Germanic mindset down there.


  54. 74
    Socialism Ate My Future says:

    Pope: So Spain, Portugal and Greece?
    Merkel: Don’t forgot Italy!


  55. 76

    “And how many divisions have you got? Only three, then we’ll just sweep in your Vatican State with our Italian annexation.”


  56. 77
    I've seen that hand before says:


  57. 78
    The British media are cunts says:

    The Pope: I don’t know why you’re smiling Angela the British beat you three times, 1918, 1945 and 1966, they’ve only beaten us once.


  58. 79
    Banned says:

    “And after my third attempt to exorcise the demons from Tony Blair, Jesus appeared and told me not to bother as he was definitely going to hell anyway”


  59. 82
    bergen says:

    I told Benedict he could pray for Germany until they played us so you’re stuffed tomorrow.


  60. 83
    Timozweb says:

    How many Divisions do you have, one?


  61. 84
    sovietsalami63 says:

    soviet salami63 Here ,
    Thankyou all for your. kind comments I shall remember them while I’m loving it abroad ,Just. Wished I’d never been dropped here by mother, Germany , Sweden , Holland HERE I come !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YIpEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE goodbye to all you Financialsexslaves.


  62. 85

    Smell my finger


  63. 86
    Checkpoint Charlie says:

    Republica del Argentina 3

    Three Powers Sector 2


  64. 87
    Mr Smeeth says:

    Scissor beats paper, I win


  65. 88
    Rickytshirt says:

    His Holiness:

    ‘…it came of quite far up and could not be retrieved. The young lad had to wait three days for it to pass.’

    Frau Merkel:

    ‘It’s a good job you weren’t wearing your Rolex.’

    His Holiness:

    ‘Yes, he really would have been in for a shitty time. Arf arf arf arf!’


  66. 90
    Jon says:

    Three young men at the same time!?
    Angela you old fox!


  67. 91
    Tony Benn says:

    Another game of Scissors, Stone Gun?


  68. 92
    Michelangelo says:

    I’d put a ceiling of sistine goals


  69. 93
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Germany have gone ahead, Huntz.


  70. 94
    Geordie Boy says:

    Pope: So the Third Reich wasn’t the final one?

    Merkel: Nein. There will be one more. But we now call it the European Union.


  71. 95
    HenryV says:

    Is Merkel a Catholic?


  72. 96
    Fat Pang says:

    Merkel is a jack booted fascist *innocent face*


  73. 97
    Anonymous says:

    I do a fair Fred Dogers, but could never do that finger thing. 1-2-3, 3-1-2, 2-1-3 or something. Now, whatever happen to RustyTin?


  74. 99
    Adolph Hitler says:

    Pope: “You didn’t half make a Hunt out of Cameron over Jean Claude mein little frauhlein”

    Angie: “Sure did Popey”!


  75. 101
    Kent Brockman says:

    Pope says:’Fuck you’
    Merket replies: ‘Your dead’

    I for one welcome are EU overlords…


  76. 102
    Mycroft says:

    Pope begs for a 3 goal start and is offered a firing squad instead.


  77. 103
    What do I win? says:

    Merkel: And so the actress said to the bishop….

    Pope: Any hole’s a goal ?


  78. 104
    Old Notherner says:

    Never mind what Silvio said, I’ll do you in this many !


  79. 105
    Anonymous says:

    You may have beaten us at football but I have the keys to the kingdom …. what do you think about that Lard Arse….


  80. 106
    Big Jim says:

    Yes, that’s right I have now met three leaders who are German.

    You Angela, my predecessor and the headmaster of my school, Adolfo, who emigrated from Germany in April 1945 with his lovely wife Eva.


  81. 108
    David St Hubbins says:

    Pope: fancy crossing Biffin’s Bridge?
    Merkel: only if you’ll come in ze Panzer…


  82. 109
    Anything goes says:

    Pope: “Angela, the Argies use these three fingers to tap in World Cup winners.

    “Maradona called it the ‘Hand of God’. We refer to it colloquially as ‘Trinity’, but everyone would have thought he was pumped up on drugs and rambling if he’d used that term.”


  83. 110
    Cynic says:

    Join us and even Silvio will think you are a goer


  84. 111
    Henry Crun says:

    Pope: I helped this many Nazis with new identities.


  85. 114
    DDC says:

    Pope [singing]: “You’re once, twice, three times a geezerbird”


  86. 116
    Schlachtenbummler says:

    3 o’clock princess


  87. 118
    Argie says:

    How much you offering for this ring here?


  88. 119
    RobMiles says:

    Pope – There are so many old Nazi’s in Argentina, that we’ve both won whatever happens.


  89. 120
    man in a dress says:

    So it’s third time lucky for you Germans
    taking over England eh?


  90. 122
    Jeremy says:

    I call it the “shocker”


  91. 123
    CHRIST ON A BIKE! says:

    Pope: “We have three great forwards Chancellor Merkel, Messi, Higuain and Aguero. Your boys have no chance”

    Merkel: ” Yes, but vee have snipers in the ground to take care of them. They will be diving like they’ve been shot anyway!”


  92. 124

    “And just who did you think your father really was”


  93. 125
    illogical says:

    His Wholeiness obviously expecting the hand of god to favour his team.
    This could get Messy!


  94. 126
    Anonymous says:

    Merkel: “Ve haf started two world wars already”
    Pope: “Third time lucky?”


  95. 127
    Robbie says:

    “One our Fatherland”

    And “three Hail Messis”


  96. 128
    gildedtumbril says:

    “I work for Satan”, “So do I”
    Either way round..


  97. 129
    chav #503 says:

    Pope: Oh you use your index finger? My pussy finger’s the middle one.


  98. 130
    chav #503 says:

    Pope: Nothing’s worn under the cassock – it’s all in perfect working order, my dear Frau.


  99. 131
    chav #503 says:

    Merkel: Only 3 Nazis left in Argentina?


  100. 133
    Come on Lionel! says:

    Merkel (giggling on Papal wine): “So if Germany win, you really will show me your 3cm willie?”.


  101. 134
    Anonymous says:

    And on the third day


  102. 135
    Mrs. Merkel says:

    The winning goal? If you stretch me with 3 fingers like that, it is bound to be Messi.


  103. 136
    Chocolate Fireguard says:

    Berlusconi wouldn’t shag ya, Cameron wouldn’t shag ya, and I certainly can’t shag ya,so fuck of back to Berlin you unshaggable fat cow.


  104. 137
    Fabians are Evil says:

    OK I’ll give your team odds of 3 to 1


  105. 138
    Dodgy Pontiff says:

    Haha I best you David Cameron would back down, now I’m going to “six pack” you until you convert to catholicism.


  106. 139
    Always Use A Condom says:

    Growth – The Need To Cover The Country In Concrete

    If You Exam The Evidence All cars should be fitted with a catholic converter


  107. 140

    “Just three Hail Marys and I’ll be absolved from lying to Dave – what a nice old Pope you are”


  108. 141
    Anonymous says:

    Cameron took in three of my fingers compared to your one.


  109. 143
    spanows says:

    3 goals in 3 minutes the other night vs. Brazil but they told me it was a close shave.


  110. 144
    I Roger Boys MP says:

    “But Jean Claude Junckter reckons you can take three fingers” ?

    “No! no! your fondleness i believe it was only one , Like you , i’m still a semi virgin you know”


  111. 145
    I Roger Boys MP says:

    Ah Mr Merkel ! We helped some of your relatives emigrate to south America


  112. 146
    Frau Mayonnaise-on the wrong side of the Iron Curtain until 1989 says:

    So, how do you think this new ‘Peaceful’ European WWIII is going? (PS. Am I just a bloke in a dress who’s quoting 2K-year-old bigoted view’s? or do I actually have something relevant to say?)


  113. 147
    I Roger Boys MP says:

    Now i have seen you up close , i see why priests prefer young boys


  114. 149
    I Roger Boys MP says:

    “Rock , Scissors , Paper , Stone” “Ah you naughty popey type person you get to spank me yet again”


  115. 151
    Fabians are Evil says:

    Angela here is an example of a good Christian act …. after Nigeria was eliminated from the world cup the Nigerian captain personally offered to refund all the expenses of fans that travelled to Brazil.

    He said he just needs their bank details and pin numbers to complete the transaction.


  116. 153
    Anonymous says:

    “Friday Caption Contest (World Cup Final Predictions Edition)”
    I may not be able to tell you who will win Angie, my angel. (Albeit some results have the hallmarks of a biblical betting scam). But I can say with all certainty, that Dave is right about curtailing interweb privacy. For how else are we expected to find out about that murky malevolence, being manifested by a Merkel?


  117. 154
    Tapestry says:

    Pope – Ratzinger had to ‘retire’. The Jesuit Superior went last week. I’m about to go. That’s three in a few months. The International Tribunal for Crimes of Church and State is doing bloody well, Angela.

    Merkel – I don’t murder children and rape them, so I should be OK.



  118. 156
    Enemy of the State says:

    Now Holy Father we only started two world wars’ Yes dear but you are going to start a third!!


  119. 157
    Anonymous says:

    Und mit Sie finden wir der einer heiliger Gott?

    Tre per prezzo uno – Patris, fillii et Spiritus Sancti !!


  120. 158
    Bloke says:

    “…and that’s when I said ‘Rolf, can you tell what it is yet?’….”


  121. 160
    Anonymous says:

    Ha Angela – I beat you there.

    I’ve been as drunk as a skunk at Three Munich Bier Festivals.


  122. 161
    Bloke says:

    ‘…so there was Rolf wearing his didgeridoo and he thought it was my middle finger!’


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Find out more about PLMR

Austrian Chancellor Werner Faymann on Cameron’s refusal to pay the £1.7 billion EU bill by December 1st:

“Well, then he’s gonna pay on December 2nd”

Mycroft says:

Have you read the last bit of Animal Farm?

You know where the animals are looking through the Farmhouse window?

My TV screen was that window at lunch-time today.

Be careful, the sudden self-congratulatory tone, the slightly pudgy outline of indulgence and you become exactly what you should despise.

The jolly face of the Quisling Cameron poses for your camera has mesmerised and deceived you, you who were once not so deceived.

You were no firebrand, you were a damp squib in my opinion, sorry.

You need a damned good kick up the ahse!

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